The Accidental Sheriff (14 page)

Sheriff.
He involuntarily tensed. If he weren’t acting sheriff, none of this would have happened. Carolina wouldn’t have almost died.

“Thanks. I’ll pay you double.”

“Well, I won’t refuse,” Carmen said. “Tuition for next semester’s coming up, and I can use the money.”

“See you later, then.” Neil disconnected. He was more than happy to pay Carmen extra for her services. An idea had started forming in the back of his mind, and if everything came together, he might not need his babysitter’s services anymore. He wanted to compensate her as much as possible before then.

“You ready to head back to the station?” a detective from the Payson Police Department asked Neil. The two agencies continued to work closely together on the illegal mining investigation. Neil would be required to give them a report along with one for the sheriff’s department.

“Let’s go.” He almost made it back to his cruiser.

“Neil?” Carolina materialized beside him.

How did she get away from the cruiser? He glanced around, trying to see who wasn’t doing their job.

“You need to get back.” He reached for her arm.

“What’s going to happen?” The tough exterior she presented to everyone else cracked, revealing a rarely seen vulnerable side.

“You’ll be taken to the Payson police station to give a statement.”

“Not tonight. I mean, with us.”

“I’ll call you.”

“Like you did the last time?”

He deserved that.

“How about you come over—” she moved to stand near him “—and we talk in person?”

The gesture was subtle but he understood it. She was giving him the opportunity to touch her, possibly hug or hold her, offer the reassurance she needed.

Too bad he couldn’t do it.

“That’s a good idea. Are you free tomorrow after lunch?”

“I’ll make sure I am.” She reached for his hand. “I’m looking forward to it.”

She wouldn’t be if she had any idea what he planned to say.

“I’m fine,” Carolina insisted.

“You sure, sweetie?”

“Absolutely.” Her sisters, Rachel, Corrine and Vi, hovered around her like a trio of mothers leaving their children at preschool for the first time.

The idea of them lunching together in the ranch’s dining hall had appealed to Carolina, but as it turned out, the noise and commotion of a hundred other diners simultaneously eating their meals grated on her nerves. Every time someone dropped a plate or scraped a chair across the floor, she jumped.

All in all, she’d rather be at work. Her boss, however, had insisted she stay home the rest of the week. As a result, she was fighting off a chronic case of anxiety as well as her sisters’ irritating yet well-intentioned coddling.

She was also worried about her job. Ward probably would take her off the mining story. He’d come close after she’d received the threatening e-mail. He might even decide to let her go altogether. After yesterday, she’d become something of a liability to the station.

“You could have been killed,” Vi repeated her earlier scolding in proper older-sister fashion. “What in the world were you doing out there to begin with?”

“My job.” Carolina didn’t let her sister’s sharp tone annoy her. Vi always came on strong.

Besides, the previous evening and night had been wretched for Carolina. She was usually one to rebound quickly. Being used as a moving target by some sicko creep had been more than even she could handle.

She really wished Neil had accompanied her when she’d given her statement. Without his comfort and protection, the seriousness of her close call had hit her hard. Returning to a dark, empty cabin after a grueling interview at the police station had driven the point home.

Her cabin had always been her sanctuary. A safe and secure haven she could retreat to with no fears. Instead, she’d spent a sleepless night ducking around corners and avoiding windows, the ping of ricocheting bullets resounding in her ears. Thank goodness Rachel had stayed with her. About three in the morning, Carolina had finally drifted off into a restless sleep, only to wake up shortly after dawn, more exhausted than when she’d gone to bed.

Neil was right. She’d been in far more danger than she realized and should have listened to him. When she saw him—any minute now—she’d tell him that and a whole lot more.

Like how crazy she was about him and how there weren’t any obstacles they couldn’t overcome together.

“You have to eat,” Rachel chided.

“I am.”

“Not enough. You haven’t had anything substantial since lunch yesterday.”

It was true. Carolina had missed dinner because of being at the police station, and breakfast, too. Much as she’d tried, the idea of putting even one bite of toast in her mouth had caused her stomach to roil in protest. The chicken noodle soup sitting in front of her was going down a little easier.

“See.” Carolina lifted her spoon high and took another bite.

Great. While she’d been stalling, the soup had grown cold.

Would she ever be able to relax again? Not hear the bullets or relive the horror? She didn’t dare tell her sisters about her anxiety. They’d insist she see a therapist when all she needed was time. And Neil. He was better than any counselor’s advice could ever be.

She’d been too hard on him for sure. Her insistence in doing a live broadcast from the mining site had endangered Adrian’s and Miguel’s lives as well as her own. She couldn’t have lived with herself if something had happened to them.

Which must be exactly how Neil felt about Lynne.

Carolina wanted to thump herself in the head with the heel of her hand. Honestly, how shortsighted could she be? The line between caring and controlling wasn’t nearly as tenuous as she’d thought.

“Carolina!” Vi complained. “Eat.”

“Okay, okay.”

Without warning, the noise level in the dining room dropped to near silence. Carolina’s heart began to flutter in fear. She clutched the edge of the table and automatically looked around to see what had caused the disturbance. The answer was obvious.

Neil stood near the entrance. Tall, strong and in full uniform, he made an impressive image.

Carolina couldn’t believe how much safer just seeing him made her feel. No shooters would dare lurk behind a dark corner with him there.

He removed his aviator sunglasses and scanned the dining room. She sat up straighter, resisting the urge to wave girlishly. She needn’t have worried. His instincts were right on target. Diners scrambled to clear a path as he came over.

“Good afternoon, ladies,” he said, touching the brim of his cowboy hat when he reached Carolina’s table.

“Hi.” She couldn’t believe how soft and shaky her voice came out. “These are my sisters, Vi, Corrine and Rachel.” She pointed to each of them. “And this is Neil. Sheriff Lovitt,” she added, upon seeing her sisters’ conspiratorial grins.

“Nice to meet you,” Vi said, “but I have to go.”

“Yeah, we’re needed in the kitchen to…to…take out the garbage,” Rachel added.

Corrine’s lame excuse followed the others.

“Please don’t leave on my account,” Neil said smoothly, and turned to Carolina. “Can we chat for a few minutes? Somewhere else besides here? That is, if you’re done eating.”

“I am.” Carolina stood and together they left the dining hall. She was certain every pair of eyes in the room was fastened on them.

Outside, he surprised her by taking her hand. His fingers felt warm and firm and magically chased away the nervousness that had plagued her since the previous evening.

“Would you mind walking a bit?” he asked, something not quite right in his voice.

So much for alleviating her nervousness. “There’s a foot trail that runs along the creek,” she said. “It starts there, on the other side of the parking lot.”

They walked in relative silence, though it was anything but silent around them. Guests were everywhere. Strolling to and from the dining hall. Swimming in the heated pool. Playing horseshoes or badminton. Riding horses or ATVs up and down the main road.

The atmosphere changed upon entering the wooded area and the trailhead. As if a thick curtain had fallen around them, Carolina and Neil were thrust into a serene calm that was broken only by the distant ruckus of children playing.

“How are you doing today?”

“Good.” Her laugh came out with a slightly desperate edge to it. “I’ve been spending the morning trying to figure out how I can work all this into my next report.”

He dropped her hand. Not a good sign.

They came to a more secluded area with a small bridge. Beneath it, the creek babbled as it rushed over rocks and around bends. Neil made no move to cross the bridge.

“I called Zoey’s grandparents this morning, my former in-laws.” He appeared to choose his words carefully. “She stayed with them the year after Lynne died.”

“I remember you telling me.”

“They’re coming out for a visit in a few days.”

“How nice. Zoey will be thrilled.”

No answer.

Carolina began to worry in earnest. “How long are they staying?”

“A few days. Bud has to get back to work.”

“That’s a shame for them to come all the way from upstate New York and not stay longer. They don’t get to see Zoey often.”

“They’re taking her back with them.”

“Oh!” That was unexpected.

“She’s safer with them.”

“After yesterday, I don’t blame you for being cautious. But sending her away seems a bit extreme.”

“It wasn’t a random shooting.”

“I know that.”

“Next time, the shooter may not miss.”

“Trust me, I’m not going to the mine again.”

“Damn straight you’re not. If I have to tie you to your desk chair, I will.”

He probably meant that in a caring way, but for some reason, his tone rubbed Carolina the wrong way. “I’m not that crazy to put myself in danger again.”

“What makes you think they were after you?”

“I’m…I’m the reporter on the story.”

“And I’m heading up the investigation for the department. You may not think Zoey’s life is in danger, but I do.”

Carolina hadn’t thought of it that way.

Dear Lord, the situation had spiraled so far out of control. As soon as she got home, she was going to call Ward and remove herself from the story. No career was worth risking people’s lives.

Hadn’t Neil told her that very thing time and again?

“How does Zoey feel about going away with her grandparents?”

“She doesn’t know, and she won’t until they’re ready to leave.”

For a smart man, he was pretty dumb. “She won’t want to go.”

“She won’t have a choice.”

“Neil, think about this. She’s not a toddler anymore. She’s a bright, astute young girl who won’t understand why her father’s sending her away.”

“I’ll explain it to her.”

Carolina moved to stand in front of him and placed her hands on her hips. “How are you going to do that without telling her about her mother?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“You could try the truth.”

“She’s not ready.”

“Her, or you?”

“I’ve made my decision. Zoey will be safe. That’s what matters the most.”

“And two thousand miles away.”

“It’s temporary.”

Well, at least there was a light on the horizon. By his own admission, he’d been an emotional wreck the last time he’d
dispatched his daughter to live with her grandparents. Carolina would hate for him to have to go through it again. “When are you planning on bringing her home?”

“After Otis returns to work.”

Two months. He could probably survive, and she would do her best to help him navigate the rough patches. But could Zoey survive without her dad?

“Or I may leave her there until I can join her.”

“Join her?” Awareness stole slowly over Carolina, leaving chilly footprints up her spine. “Not bring her home?”

“I’m going to submit my resignation.”

It felt like the ground shifted and rolled out from beneath her feet. Neil was leaving?

“What about us?” she asked lamely.

“I have to think of Zoey.”

“Yes. Which you aren’t doing and haven’t from the beginning.” Hurt and surprise mingled inside Carolina, giving her voice a brittle edge. “You’ve only been thinking of yourself and your own guilt.”

“You’re wrong. I’m thinking of you, too.”

“Pardon me if I don’t agree.”

He grabbed her arm, not roughly but desperately. “You were shot at yesterday, Carolina. If you’d been hurt—killed—it would have been my fault.”

“Like it was your fault Lynne died?”

“Yes.”

“That was an accident.”

“An avoidable one.”

“You can’t control everything and everybody.”

“I can this. And I won’t be responsible for another person losing their life on my account.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “I want you, Carolina, make no mistake. But more than that, I want you alive and safe. The only way to accomplish that is for me to stay the hell away from you.”

She withdrew from his grasp. “That excuse is starting to sound really tired.” She knew he believed what he said, but if she heard it one more time, she’d scream. “You can’t keep running away, and you can’t keep sending people away. Sooner or later you’re going to have to confront your problems. Only if you wait until later, your daughter may not be there. I certainly won’t be.”

“I was hoping you’d understand.”

“You hoped I’d make it easy for you by not creating a stink.”

“Trust me, you making a stink was a given.”

His attempt at humor didn’t amuse her. If anything, it widened the wound in her heart and caused her to strike out at him. “Can’t you see what you’re doing? You’re so damn worried about keeping Zoey and me safe, you’re losing the very thing you’re trying to preserve. Our love for you.”

There. She’d said it.

“I haven’t lost Zoey’s love. Not yet. And I don’t plan to.” He spoke with conviction. “Which is another reason we have to leave Payson. I can’t risk her finding out about her mother.”

Had he not acknowledged her admission that she loved him on purpose or had it gone unnoticed?

No, Neil wasn’t obtuse.

She suddenly felt stifled by an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Once again, she was being dumped by a man because of his job. The same feelings of hurt and rejection and anger she’d felt before came rushing back, only much stronger. Probably because they’d never entirely disappeared.

“Have it your way,” she said, sniffing. “Be alone. At least you won’t have to fight with your guilt anymore.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, Carolina. You have to believe me.”

She did. Neil’s thinking might be skewed, but he’d been straight with her from the very beginning about how he felt.
She’d walked into their relationship with her eyes open. The only mistake she’d made was to think she could battle his ghosts and win.

“Contrary to popular opinion,” she said, struggling to compose herself, “I won’t create a stink. You’ll get what you want, Neil. Your daughter will be safe, living on the other side of the country. I’ll be safe, too, out of your life for good. I hope it makes you happy.”

“It doesn’t.”

Small solace. “Then you have no one to blame but yourself.” She squared her shoulders. “Forgive me if I don’t walk back with you.” Hell would freeze over before he saw her cry. And she would be crying. For days. “Have a good life. Wherever you wind up.”

“I really wish it could have turned out differently.”

She gave him one last look. “It could have.”

Walking away, she decided Neil had just lost the best thing to happen to him in a long time.

But then, so had she.

So much for her life-redirecting plan.