THE AFFAIR (11 page)

“I told her I would come. I told her I would be there for her. I promised her, Chance. She was so afraid. You didn’t see her, you didn’t see all the blood.” I started to shake uncontrollably.

I wished Larry had allowed me to tell him my feelings. Just saying the words out loud was a relief. The revulsion I’d expected to see in Chance’s face never materialized. There was only concern for me. It was his understanding, his allowing me to talk that tore me apart.

“Michelle, it was an accident. Maybe your husband was right. I don’t know. I’m not a lawyer. But I know you have no reason to blame yourself for an accident.”

“What if I do, Chance? I don’t remember what I was doing before I hit her. What if I was fiddling with the radio or daydreaming? Maybe I could have stopped. Why don’t I remember that?”

He held me, rocking me as if I were a child. “It’s going to be all right,” Chance whispered. “You’ll see.”

He kissed my cheeks, stopping a millimeter from my lips. “You’re hoping I can help you recall what happened, aren’t you?”

“I wasn’t trying to use you, Chance…but I haven’t had anyone to talk to about this. Larry gets angry any time I bring it up. I thought if it’s true, that there is really such a thing as regression therapy that maybe you can help me go back to before the accident.”

“Why haven’t you gone to a hypnotist?”

“I was so afraid. At first, I thought when it happened that it was just an accident. I felt horrible to have hit her, but I expected to see her through her recovery. I would be able to live through the nightmare.

“Then I called Larry and everything changed. I felt like a criminal, like I was running from the law. I couldn’t talk about it with him, or the children, and I certainly couldn’t talk about it with a stranger.”

I felt his hands go still in my hair. I knew what he was thinking. “You want to know why I’m telling you, don’t you?”

I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. “You asked why I wanted to die. That’s part of the reason. I couldn’t get that old woman out of my head. I couldn’t get over my breaking a promise to her, or the feeling that I was cheating her somehow because she was poor. I lost respect for myself and…”

Chance tilted my chin upward, his dark eyes piercing my own. “You lost respect for your husband?”

I wrenched my chin from his hand. Closing my eyes I inserted the tip of my thumb in my mouth and began biting down. I refused to answer Chance’s question.

I wasn’t worried about myself, but still I thought about it before I answered. “I’m sure. I have no way of knowing what strings, if any, Larry pulled to make this go away. I don’t know if he broke any laws. I’m worried for him.

Chance played with my fingers a moment before saying, “So, it’s Larry you’re worried about?” I heard the hesitation in his voice, his eyes turning even darker as he caught me in his gaze. “You really do love him, don’t you?”

“Why should that surprise you? I told you the first night I loved my husband.” I watched as his eyebrows quirked upwards.

“Well, you’ll have to admit it’s unusual for a woman who loves her husband to go to bed with a stranger she met in a parking lot…unless of course she was trying to punish him. Am I your husband’s punishment, Michelle?”

“I’m not sure what you are, Chance. The day I met you, you were a lifeline for me. Now you offer me hope that I can remember thirty seconds of my life. Maybe I was in the wrong. Maybe I am only using you to make the pain go away.”

He ran his fingers across my lips.“If you want to use me, go ahead. I’ve been your husband and your lover. It could be that in this lifetime, I’m only supposed to be your friend. It looks to me like you could use one.”

He smiled at me. “I will be for you whatever you need. Use me, my love. And do it without guilt. That will be my gift to you.”

It would have been so easy then to fall into his arms, to kiss him senseless until he forgot about not wanting to make love to me, until he sank deep within my body making the pain go away. But I didn’t. I eased my head to his chest softly and allowed the love I was feeling for this man to grow.

Chance ordered enough food to feed an army. I was stuffed. For the past several hours I had listened as Chance told me about his life, his family, his ex-wife. These were safe topics. Nothing dealing with the paranormal. He had yet to tell me of the incident that had changed his life.

It was late, after midnight, when I decided to leave. Chance had not indicated that he wanted me to stay. I stood. “I guess I should be leaving now.” I watched Chance’s lanky body rise from the floor.

“Stay with me tonight.”

“I thought…”

“There’s more than one way to spend the night together. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms and awake to find you still there.”

“Is your bed one from a past life?”

He laughed out loud, my reactions to the rest of his home laid bare in my question. I couldn’t take knowing that one more item this man possessed had been shared by the two of us sometime in the past. For tonight I’d gone as far as I could. Talking about Viola was more than enough for my psyche to handle at the moment.

“My bed is not an antique, but we are.”

When I glared playfully up at him he swung me up into his arms and carried me toward his bedroom. I couldn’t remember the last time Larry had done that. I blinked twice, realizing what I had done.

I had to distance myself from what I was doing. I had to forget about my marriage and I had to forget Larry, at least for now.

I lay shivering in expectation as Chance undressed me slowly, kissing my body in reverence. These were not the actions of a man that didn’t intend to make love. I was finally in only my panties when he stopped. He pulled the covers over our bodies and spooned his muscular hard body around me.

“Goodnight, Michelle.”

He kissed the back of my neck and before long I heard his soft snores. I smiled to myself, not feeling in the least bit let down. Instead, I pushed against him, wedging my behind into his crotch. This was enough for now.

I awoke from a dream feeling more at peace than I could ever recall being. I opened my eyes slowly and smiled. Chance was propped on his elbow staring down at me. Sometime during the night he must have taken off his shirt because his chest was bare.

I shifted to get a better look at him before searching for the clock. Five
A.M
. Something had awakened me. I thought it was the ringing of a phone, but wasn’t sure.

“Thank you,” Chance whispered.

“Why are you thanking me?” I absently ran my hand down the side of my body, going to the vee between my thighs, allowing my fingers to search for any telltale wetness.

“I’m thanking you for staying the night.” His smile was broad. “What did you think I was thanking you for? Did you think perhaps I had molested you in your sleep?”

He reached his hand toward me, touching my hair, caressing my face. I fell back on the pillows feeling wanton and wicked. I was on vacation from my life.

“I thought you said you’d never abandon your patients even for me?”

“And I meant it. There is such a thing as having another doctor cover your patients. I can easily have a cardiologist friend take over my office. God knows, I’ve done it for him often enough.” He picked up the phone. “By the way how long will your husband be gone?”

“Another ten days,” I answered and watch the wide grin that filled his face as he dialed the phone securing coverage for his patients. My breath caught in my throat and I swallowed.

I’ll admit, I was more than curious. I wasn’t entirely convinced that I believed Chance, but I knew I wanted to. I wanted a reason for the fluttering of my heart. I desperately needed a reason for throwing my marriage down the toilet, for betraying Larry. I stopped myself. If I dwelled on my husband I would get up and leave and that I didn’t want to do. Wrong or right I wanted to stay with Chance…for now.

“What names did you call me before?” The question slipped out without much thought. Now that it had, I waited breathless to see what he would say. I vaguely remembered the name he’d called me in the hotel the day we met.

“I’ve known you as several women, all beautiful with beautiful names. Brianna, Smaro, Dimitra…”

Dimitra.
Yes, that was the name that seemed so familiar to me. “Dimitra, I like that.”

I rolled the name around on my tongue relishing the sound of it. “Call me Dimi.” I watched as he smiled at me, his eyes sparkling. “What?”

“Here,” he said, triumphantly handing me a sheaf of papers. I skimmed through what was labeled ‘Regression.’ I spotted the names Jeremy and Dimitra. My skin started tingling as distant memories began a slow crawl across my skin. I gave the papers back to Chance, not daring to voice what this all meant.

Chance threw the papers into the air and we watched as they fell and scattered around the bed. He was laughing. “I want my kiss,” he said, menacingly coming toward me.

“Now?” I nearly screamed. “Before we’ve brushed our teeth?”

I couldn’t imagine doing such a thing. In the entire twenty-six years of our marriage Larry and I had never kissed without brushing first. I found the idea revolting.

Before I could voice my objections I was in Chance’s arms and his tongue was in my mouth. I pushed weakly at his chest, but that only caused him to deepen the kiss.

Within a fraction of a second his hand slid down the small mound of my belly and parted my thighs, his fingers slipping in, finding me moist and hot. In that moment I didn’t give a damn if I never brushed my teeth again.

He released me from the kiss and I found myself moaning my disappointment. My eyes shut tightly. Then he began at my neck, kissing and licking my skin, the heat from his tongue searing me with a lust that I feared I would pay for later in hell.

He captured the nipple of my left breast between his teeth. I jumped, feeling the pressure that hadn’t occurred. He was as gentle as a mama cat carrying her babies. Gentleness I was used to and frankly tired of.

Before the thought had coalesced in my mind, the pressure of his suckling changed. I could feel his own greed taking over, his body entwining with my own until I began to delight in the slight pain. It made me feel alive.