The Alex Chronicles:Girlfriends & Secrets (4 page)

Why
younger men? Simple. They aren
’
t trying to compete, but learn. Like my latest companion,
Jason Burke. I
’
m sorry,
I got a little side tracked. Baby boy is a gorgeous, tall, brown
skinned, bald delight of a man, secure enough in his manhood to
date an older woman. He
’
s a very successful hedge fund manager who loves God, jazz,
art, traveling and cooking. Good bones. He
’
s definitely something I can work with.
We
’
ve been seeing each
other for six months, which for me, is more like five
years.

Unlike my
girlfriends, I
’
m not
sure if marriage is something I want to do again.
I
’
ve seen and
experienced it, and there are things about it I
don
’
t particularly care
for. Like explaining where I
’
ve been when I
’
m
not with him, or why I spend so much money on clothes. Or, his
thinking just because I
’
m a female, I
’
m
weak and need a man to take care of me.

Some of
the married people I know refer to marriage as if it were a
business arrangement, while others make it sound like prison.
Neither of which interests me. I like not having to answer to
anyone. And I don
’
t want
someone calling me twelve times a day for no reason.

Let me
explain. If you
’
re
calling me that much, you aren
’
t making money. I look at work as making money. So yes,
there are exceptions and reasons for your not working and having
all of this free time to talk to me. But, it had better not be
because you didn
’
t have
anything else to do. If you have set yourself up where you
don
’
t have to work,
that
’
s a good thing.
However, I don
’
t want
you tying up my phone with calls from you. And
don
’
t give me that line
about wanting to hear my voice. If you are so in awe of my voice,
I
’
ll make you a
recording of my voice and you can listen to it all day.

Okay,
hear me out. If you call someone that much during the day, what are
you going to talk about when you see each other? Trust me, absence
does make the heart grow fonder. If you don
’
t believe me, don
’
t call your significant other for a couple
of days, and see if you won
’
t hear excitement in their voice when you say hello. Honey,
it
’
s a high like no
other. In that respect, I
’
m a lot like a guy. I
’
ll go out with you on Monday and won
’
t need to hear from you for a couple of
days. And you need to keep the texting and emails to a minimum. I
don
’
t need my
communication devices loaded up with a lot of foolishness from you.
Keep your communication simple and sparse. I
’
m a busy woman, and I
don
’
t have time and room
in my life for a needy man.

I was
married for a hot second, and it was one of the worst mistakes of
my life. I moved to Savannah after college, and shortly thereafter
I was married. I refer to it as my idiot head phase. All of my
girlfriends told me not to get married, but I
didn
’
t listen. Jerry was
a complete idiot head.

Have you
heard the saying,
“
the
village called and they want their idiot back"? Well, my ex-husband
had the ringer on his phone turned off, so he never got the call to
go back to the village There should be a law about letting ignorant
people run wild amongst the normal ones. Or at least, make sure
they have some sort of indicator, alarm, GPS, or an ankle bracelet
you can zap when they start speaking to normal people.

I believe
his mother knew something wasn
’
t right with him But I believe she was so happy he found a
woman who seemed to adore him, she never disclosed any of his
faults. Like a dummy, I agreed to marry him after only six months
of dating. I thought my prayer had been answered. Be careful what
you pray for, because if you pray right you
’
re likely to get it. I asked God for a
nice, Christian man, with a good heart, a career and no children.
Fine, but I forgot to include, intelligent, good sense, and no Mama
drama. I took for granted those things would be included. Then,
because I
’
m a good
thing, I did what God said and waited to be found.

What I
failed to realize was, Jerry didn
’
t find me, I found him, at the car wash. This fool
managed the car wash. Don
’
t get me wrong, there
’
s nothing wrong with working at a car wash. He had a plan.
Learn the inner workings of the car wash so he could open his own.
A man with a plan. NOT! More like a man looking for a
sponsor.

Once we
started dating and he saw how well I was doing, he convinced me if
we were married, a mobile car detailing business would be more
profitable than a car wash. To do that, he would need to devote all
of his time to acquiring clients. And, the best way to do that
would be to go out every day to offices and offer free detailing.
This meant he wouldn
’
t
be making any money in the beginning and I would have to support
us. I said yes to his proposal and we set a wedding date. My
girlfriends flew down to Savannah for the wedding, and even as we
were preparing to walk down the aisle, they kept asking me if I was
sure about marrying Jerry. I had convinced them, and myself, that
he was the one. Everything was going great until eight months
later, when the magic wore off and I came to my senses. I came home
from work one day and found him sitting on the sofa scratching and
belching, and something inside of me snapped.

“
You have
got to go", I yelled.

“
Baby,
what are you talking about? What
’
s wrong?
”

“
I
’
m tired of
coming home every day and seeing you sitting here watching
television and scratching your stomach. You
’
re supposed to be working. If anyone
should be home watching television, it should be me.
”

“
But you
know it
’
s been a little
slow and I
—”

“
I
don
’
t want to hear it",
I shouted.

“
Please,
can
’
t we just talk about
it?
”
He turned away from
me but facing a mirror where I could see him counting. Like the
idiot he is, he turned back around and said,
“
Oh, I know, it must be that time of the
month.
”

Hello,
village, I found your idiot. My fist connected with his jaw and
when his mother came over, he had been out cold for a couple of
hours. When she asked me what happened, I told her. I also strongly
suggested she get out of my face before she found herself lying on
the floor next to her. I packed my bags and wrote him a lovely
parting note.
“
I
’
m divorcing
your trifling lazy behind and if you try contesting,
I
’
ll track you down like
the lazy dog you are and run you over with your car detailing van.
And that goes for your meddling Mama too. Love, Taylor.
”

I was
gone. I moved to Buckhead, a suburb of Atlanta and went to work
re-inventing myself. Now I
’
m a successful real estate broker. I heard from a former
friend that Jerry got married again and is living in West Virginia.
So whenever anyone brings up marriage, I tell them I've been there,
done that, and burned the t-shirt.

_________________________

Since
we
’
re sharing, I have to
confess I
’
ve had a
couple of relationship incidents more like family close
calls.

I was dating this amazing man and things were
getting serious, but I broke it off when I discovered I had dated
his older brother when I was in college. Sure I could have kept
seeing him, but why ask for trouble.

The other
situation happened with my mentor, Andrew McNeal. I met Andrew at a
restaurant downtown. I was sitting at the bar waiting on some
friends and he approached me. At first, I thought he was soliciting
me. Anyway, the way he approached me was like a brother. I never
would have imaged this silver haired vanilla chip had that much
swagger. Yes, I
’
m down
with the swirl. I don
’
t
see color. I
’
m sort of
like the United Nations. I
’
ve dated an heir to the Saudi throne, an Asian tech
millionaire, a ginger with the backside of a brother, a Frenchman
that showed me how his people earned their own kiss, and this
African guy who said he wanted me to meet his father, the
king.

Andrew showed me how to market not only my
business but myself as well. In no time at all, I went from
peddling single family residences in the middle class suburbs, to
moving luxury properties in Buckhead. Girlfriend was on her way.
People were beginning to seek me out. No more cold calls. I was on
my way up.

Things
were going fantastic with me and Andrew. We were good for each
other. We fed off of each other
’
s energy. He was so smooth, I didn
’
t even realize I wanted to get married
again. We started talking about a possible future together. But
first, he wanted me to meet his kids. I knew I was in the home
stretch until I looked up and saw my ex-boyfriend. Holy Crap! No
wonder things felt so comfortable with Andrew, he was the original
to the copy I had dated.

My perfect thing was shot to hell. Not only
did I lose a good man, I lost a great mentor.

You'd
think after that experience I would have been a little more
careful. Please. That
’
s
like asking a lion not to roar. Life is meant to be
lived.

_________________________

So
what
’
s my secret? I
don
’
t have one.
You
’
d think with the
wild life I
’
ve led,
I
’
d have secrets jumping
out of the closet. Maybe it
’
s because I live by the YOLO Rule
…
You Only Live Once. I know I
’
ll only come this way once and I plan on
enjoying myself. But I would like a baby, not necessarily a
husband. And according to nature, that window is about to close.
I
’
ve prayed about it
and, despite what people think, I have faith that it will happen.
If not by my womb with my egg, then by egg donation, embryo
donation, adoption or however God wants to do it. Who knows, maybe
I
’
ll change my mind
about marriage, and do it the old-fashioned way.

But there
is that one thing with Jason that I
’
m trying to keep hidden from my girlfriends. Of
course they know he
’
s
younger than me. No, this is something I didn
’
t even know until I had gotten invested in
the relationship. Now I
’
m trying to figure out if I should break things off or not.
Just when I think I have the answer, I remember what I saw at the
spa.

We did a
couples day at the spa. My God, the man looks like a Greek statue.
He
’
s cut from top to
bottom
…
tight skin
covering a mass of hard muscles and packing. How do I know? I
cheated and looked when they told him to turn over. Mercy me. I
instantly went from relaxed to hot and tense.

Jason
would be a good candidate for marriage. He has some very strong
qualities. And from what I saw at the spa, I don
’
t think that that baby thing would be a
problem. I think I need a little more time before making a rash
decision that could cost me my hot, young boyfriend.

I do have
something that I
’
m
keeping secret from my cousin Alex though. I
’
ve arranged a blind date for her when she
comes to Atlanta for her store opening. My cousin is a sweetheart,
but when it comes to meeting men, she hasn
’
t been too open. Unlike my friend Dionne,
I have the gift of matchmaking.

This guy
is perfect for her. I used to date him, but he just
wasn
’
t right for me.
He
’
s a little too old.
It
’
s not like
he
’
s headed for the
grave or anything like that, but he
’
s too old for me. And, I don
’
t like men with facial hair. I like my men
clean shaven and or bald.

I have a
good feeling about him and Alex. They have quite a few things in
common. He
’
s a widower
and she
’
s sort of a
widow. They
’
re both
workaholics and entrepreneurs. He
’
s more of a homebody, which is another reason he
wasn
’
t right for me. I
like going out. Alex likes to stay home curled up with a good
book.

I know
she usually dates average height, brown skin guys. So this guy is
tall and dark. The height issue can be resolved with a pair of
stilettos and once she sees his beautiful eyes, nothing else will
matter. He
’
s quiet,
attentive, has a good sense of humor, a warm smile, great style and
he loves God. The only drawback is he lives in New York. But she
goes there often enough that it could work.