The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion (9 page)

“Oh … well, Sookie, people don’t really care about that kind of thing, anymore.”

“Well, I do. I’ll feel like an imposter, like some kind of social climber. Oh, I could just die of shame. I’m looking at myself in the mirror right now, and I have turned beet red with shame.”

“But why, Sookie? You didn’t do anything wrong. What are you ashamed about?”

“Because you know me, I have always prided myself on being honest and open and then to find out you are a fraud—that your entire life has been one big lie? I can never hold my head up again. I’m sure I need serious medication. I’m probably having a psychic break right now. Is Gerry at home? I might need him to send me some pills. How much are they?”

“Oh, Sookie, honey, you’re not having a psychic break. You’ve had a shock. That’s all. I’m shocked. It’s understandable that you are upset. I mean, my God … who wouldn’t be? What does Earle think?”

“Oh, he’s being very sweet about it … but I’ll tell you who is going to have a fit when she finds out: Dee Dee. She’s always running out to the cemetery to help decorate Great-Granddaddy Simmons’s
grave … and then to find out the man is a total stranger. Oh, my God. And Dena, no wonder I didn’t get Lenore’s nose. I didn’t get Daddy’s nose, either. I got a total stranger’s nose. I don’t know why I thought I looked just like Daddy. I went through the photo albums last night, and I don’t look a thing like any of them. I didn’t get the Simmons foot. I got the Jaberwisnski’s foot!”

“Well, what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know. I just feel all wicky-wacky. I’m just thrown for a loop and back. I can’t even think about what to do. What can I do at this late date? I should have been told this when I was six, not sixty. All those Polish people I’m related to are probably all dead by now. And who would name their child Ginger? We had a golden retriever named Ginger. Anyhow, it’s very upsetting.”

“I know it is. And as upsetting as it is right now, you always told me you never wanted to be like your mother, and you’re really not. Isn’t that kind of good news?”

“That’s what Earle said. And I guess it is, but right now, I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. Why couldn’t I be a year younger? But no. Yesterday, I was only fifty-nine, and today, I’m already sixty, going on sixty-one! No wonder I look so old and tired. I am! I’m the world’s oldest living orphan. Oh, God, how embarrassing. I feel like walking out and jumping off the end of the pier.”

“Sookie, do you want me to come down there and be with you? I will. Just say the word.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet, but no, there’s nothing anybody can do. I’ll just have to figure this out by myself.”

“Well, all right, but in the meantime, you won’t do anything foolish, will you?”

“No, I’ve got to get Carter married and settled before I do anything foolish.”

“Sookie, this is a lot to handle by yourself. Maybe it would be a good idea to seek out a professional to help you through this.”

“Well, you’re the lucky one. You married a psychiatrist. I married a dentist.”

“Would you like me to ask Gerry to try to find someone for you?”

“No. This is not the kind of thing I would talk to a stranger about.”

“But, Sookie … that’s the point.”

“Well, I’ll think about it, but right now, I really don’t want to tell anyone but you.”

“All right, but I want you to call me and let me know what’s going on, okay?”

“I will.”

After she hung up, Dena thought about just getting on a plane and going down to Alabama, but Sookie had said she wanted to try and work it out by herself, and maybe she was right. Dena knew Lenore and had always gotten a big kick out of her, but she had also felt kind of sorry for Sookie, and finding out that she was adopted was going to be hard. Sookie had always viewed herself through Lenore’s eyes. No matter how many times Dena had tried to tell her, Sookie had never understood what a great gal she was on her own. She had been one of the funniest and best-liked girls on campus, but she had never quite believed it. Everybody seemed to love Sookie but Sookie.

A
FTER
S
OOKIE HAD SPOKEN
to Dena, she realized that Peek-a-Boo needed to be fed, so she got up out of bed and went downstairs. As she opened a can of tuna, she thought about what Dena had advised. She was probably right, but there was only one psychiatrist in Point Clear, and it was obvious that Dr. Shapiro had never practiced in a small town before. His office was right next to the Just Teazzing hair salon, and you couldn’t go in or out without everyone seeing you. She certainly couldn’t go, or it would be all over town in less than five minutes.

Even Mobile was not far enough away for that, thanks to Lenore knowing so many people. At one time or another Winged Victory had been the chairman of every committee known to man, and was a clubwoman to the bone. If they didn’t have one she liked, she started one, and she was always elected president. But as Netta said, “Lenore’s damned good at running things, so why not?” Netta was right, of course. The woman seemed to have been born with a gavel in her hand.

The rest of the day, Sookie kept catching glimpses of herself in the mirror. She knew she looked the same on the outside. She walked and talked like the same person. But she didn’t know who or what she was on the inside.

Finally, she called Earle, who came to the phone right away. “Earle,
my ears are ringing. Does that mean I’m going to have a stroke? I feel like I might be having a stroke.”

“No, honey, it’s just stress.”

“Yes, but my heart is racing. I could be having some kind of attack. Should I call an ambulance?”

“No, you’re fine. Just breathe, sweetheart. Listen, my last patient cancelled, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

She sure was glad to see him when he walked in the door. Later, she managed to fix dinner, but she still felt disoriented. Earle didn’t leave her side.

When they got in bed, she tried to sleep, but she tossed and turned all night. Even Peek-a-Boo got fed up and went over to Earle’s side of the bed. But she couldn’t help it. All she could think about was that person she used to be … that woman in the mirror.

Earle finally rolled over and said, “Honey, it’s four-twenty. Close your eyes, and get some sleep.”

“I will, but Earle, are you sure I’m not having a heart attack? I can still hear it beating. Here, can you feel it? Shouldn’t I go to the emergency room?”

Earle felt her heart and patted her hand. “No, baby, it’s just anxiety. Try to get some sleep, and you’ll feel better. I promise you.”

Earle was right. After a few minutes, her heart did slow down. Thank God she had married Earle. He had been her strength and her rock through thick and thin. But with Lenore, even that hadn’t been easy.

After she graduated from high school, her grades had not been good enough to get into a top college like Lenore had wanted, but not to be deterred, at the last minute, Lenore had pulled some strings with an old Kappa sorority friend of hers, and two weeks later, Sookie had been sent off to Southern Methodist University in Dallas with a new wardrobe and a note in her pocket.

The minute she hit SMU, she started rush week and, thanks to her being Lenore’s legacy, had pledged Kappa right away. And, per her mother’s instructions, she joined almost everything else in sight, as well. And God knows she had dated morning, noon, and night. By her sophomore year, she had almost wrecked her health trying to be popular, and it didn’t help matters when her roommate, Dena Nordstrom, was voted the most beautiful girl on campus. All Lenore ever said after that was, “Oh, Sookie, why can’t you be more like Dena? That girl is going to make something of herself.” And as Lenore had predicted, Dena left college early and became one of the first female newscasters on television, while Sookie still struggled to make a passing grade.

At Christmas during her senior year at SMU, she had come home a complete nervous wreck and sick as a dog. And then two weeks later, when she had informed her parents that she was going to marry Earle Poole, Jr., from Selma, Lenore had thrown a complete fit.

The Pooles were a perfectly nice family. Earle’s father was a doctor. But unfortunately, all the Poole men had big ears that stuck out a little on the side. “If you don’t care about me, think of your future,” Lenore had cried, waving her handkerchief in the air. “Those ears may be fine on a boy, but dear Lord in heaven, Sookie, think of those ears on a girl! You can’t hide a thing like that. I’ve waited all my life to have granddaughters to dress up and to have their portraits painted, and I certainly don’t want the Poole ears in the picture!”

Lenore had then flung herself onto the sofa sobbing. “I don’t understand you. With your family background, you could have anybody you wanted. I sold my soul to get you into Kappa, so you would only meet the very nicest boys from the finest families, and this is how you reward me? By marrying Earle Poole, Jr.? Some dental student with big ears? Someone you went to grammar school with? Oh, why did your father and I bother to spend all that money on your debut and college? When I think of all those contacts wasted, oh, I just can’t bear it. I feel like getting Granddaddy Simmons’s sword off the wall right now and just falling on it.”

It was usually at this point that Sookie had always given in to her, but probably because she was sick and still had a high fever, for the first time in her life, Sookie had stood her ground.

“Mother, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I couldn’t have
married any boy I wanted. Don’t you think I tried to find someone you would approve of? I dated everybody that asked me out. I had six dates in one day. Do you know how hard it is to be perky six times a day? I’m not pretty like you, Mother. The boys didn’t fall all over me like they did you. I can’t do it anymore. Earle loves me just the way I am, and no, we are not perfect. He has big ears, and I’m not smart or beautiful, and if you can’t bear it, I’ll go and get the sword, and you can do what you want with it. But I am going to marry Earle Poole, Jr.”

Lenore had been so stunned at her daughter’s sudden strength that she stared at her for a moment. Then she sat up and said, “Well, I can see that you are becoming more like your father every day.” She sniffed a wounded little sniff. “This stubborn streak is certainly not from my side of the family. And if you refuse to listen to reason, there’s nothing more I can do, but when you give birth to Howdy Doody, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

She had married Earle, but she had never heard the end of it. After Dee Dee, their first girl, was born, as Sookie was being taken back to her room, she had heard Lenore from all the way down the hall, standing at the hospital nursery window and wailing at the top of her lungs, “Oh, my God, Alton, she has the Poole ears! I knew it! I just knew it!” Unfortunately, the Pooles, who were in the waiting area around the corner, had heard Lenore as well. After that, family holidays were never pleasant.

When she told her mother she was expecting again, Lenore’s reaction had been less than enthusiastic. “Oh, no,” she sighed. “Well, let’s just hope and pray it’s a boy.”

Eight months later, as Sookie was being rolled down the hall, exhausted and groggy from delivering not just one, but two more, baby girls, Lenore had come up alongside the gurney and whispered to her, “Mother doesn’t want you to worry. I’ve checked into it, and my friend Pearl Jeff knows the very best plastic surgeon in New Orleans. She says it’s a simple little procedure, and who’s to know the difference?” My God … if Earle had not stepped in and stopped it, she might have let Lenore push her children into plastic surgery!

A
S FOR
E
ARLE
,
HE
had loved Sookie all through grammar school, and they had dated a little in high school, but he knew her mother had higher hopes for Sookie’s future than him. So when Sookie had gone off to SMU, he had more or less given up.

But that Christmas in 1966, when he heard she was home for Christmas and was sick in bed, he screwed up his courage and went over to see her. Lenore had come to her door and begrudgingly let him in. “You can only stay for a short while, Earle, she needs her rest.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Sookie had been propped up in bed, dozing on and off all day, when she thought she heard a knock on her door. A second later, there stood Earle Poole, Jr., wearing a blue suit and holding a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy. He said, “Hi, Sookie. I heard you were home, and I just wanted to say hello.” The minute she saw him, Sookie suddenly burst into tears. He looked so goofy standing there in that bow tie and that bad haircut. She had always liked Earle, but it wasn’t until that moment that she began to love him.