The American Earl (7 page)

“I've never needed anyone,” he said solemnly. “Do you understand that, Abby? Never. But I need you now, if you are willing. I promise, this won't change a thing about our working together. I'll make it right. Don't be afraid.”

“I'm not afraid,” she said truthfully. Abby framed his strong face with her palms, brought him closer again, and kissed him firmly on the mouth. Suddenly, she knew. “I want you, too.”

 

Abby thought the meeting that night would never end. The woman, who was marketing director of a large French vineyard, enjoyed long, leisurely dinners and wanted to talk about every aspect of Matt's business. There had been no way to cut the evening short.

On the way back to the hotel in the limo, Matt and Abby sat far apart on the leather bench, as if by mutual agreement. Abby was sure if she touched him at
all, they both would spontaneously ignite. Besides, she needed time to think, time to plan how to tell him that she was a virgin before they reached a bed. But by the time they stood elbow to elbow in the elevator, she still hadn't found words that didn't sound foolish to her.

Matt unlocked the suite's door and stood back to let her inside. She turned toward him, desperate. What if her confession turned him off completely? He tossed his briefcase and jacket on a chair and took her into his arms before she could utter a single syllable. His mouth crushed over hers.

“I didn't hear a word that woman said all night,” he groaned.

She gasped. “Matt, wait!” The room spun.

“I know…we have to talk about a few things.” He was already unzipping the back of her dress. His hands slipped inside and found her bare waist. “I don't want you to be afraid. I've been very careful in the past. What about you?”

“No, oh no,” she said quickly. “I've had boyfriends of course, but we've just been—” If he hadn't interrupted her, she would have said,
friends.

“You don't have to justify anything to me,” he said, kissing her cheek, her chin, her throat. “I know you aren't the type of woman who has been promiscuous or careless.”

“That's not what I mean!” She felt frantic. “I was engaged once, but we…he didn't—” He was touching her in magical ways. It was impossible to think clearly.

“Nothing and no one before this night exists for us,” he murmured in her ear, giving it a passing nibble. His hands expertly slid her dress off her shoulders
and it dropped to her ankles. “I'll make you forget other men ever existed.”

Part of her longed for that possibility. To finally and totally forget Richard would erase the most painful episode of her life.

Abby gazed up at Matt, shivering at the touch of his hot hands, seeking words that eluded her as her mind grew pleasantly misty. He unhooked her bra, let it drop to the floor, then quickly ripped off his necktie and dress shirt. Naked, but for the thin strip of lace and silk underwear at her hips, she forced out a few words. “You're going…to be…disappointed.”

He laughed a sexy, throaty laugh as he quickly unzipped his pants and walked out of them. “I seriously doubt that, my dear.” His eyes were afire with passion. He was moving far too fast for her. Clothing outsped words. Suddenly, he was lifting her in his arms and striding through the doorway, into his bedroom.

They fell as one onto the bed. He stretched out alongside her, his entire body rigid with sexual tension. He still wore tight briefs, but she could feel hard evidence of his arousal through the fabric, against her thigh. She sighed against his lips and relished the flavor of his long, potent kiss. His hands caressed her arms, shoulders, breasts…and she welcomed every sensation even as she chastised herself for her silence.

When he lifted his head to breathe between kisses, she drew a quick breath and pressed gently back against his chest. “Matt.”

He smiled down at her. “Moving too fast for you, love?”

“Yes…no!” She gulped. “There's something you don't understand.”

“About you?” He grinned wickedly. “So teach me.” He was brushing his lips across the sensitive hollow of her throat, then his warm mouth lowered, covering her nipple. Whimpering, she squirmed with delight and agony. She didn't want him to stop, but he must understand what she was giving up for him, and not expect too much from her this first time.

The words exploded from her lips. “Richard left me because I wouldn't sleep with him.”

Matt turned his head to one side and rested his cheek on her breast. His eyes darkened. “Who was Richard?”

“My fiancé.”

He thought for a moment before coming up with the logical connection. “You wanted to wait for your wedding night?” He could understand that. But he imagined good old Dick might have felt pretty frustrated, knowing his bride had let others into her bed. Unless…

He looked across the pillow at her. “You're not saying that you're still a virgin, are you?”

She swallowed, nodded. Her eyes were enormous and full of fear. No wonder, he thought. Here he'd stripped the woman naked, flung her onto his bed, and was well into the delightful process of ravishing her. And this was her first time, ever. A low, primordial groan escaped from deep within him.

“You're disappointed, I know,” she said quickly. “I don't have any experience, but I'll try. I will.” Her eyes were brimming with tears and they wrenched at his heart.
What an insensitive jerk you are, Smythe!
he thought.

Matt rolled away from her on the bed, putting air between them. “What you're saying is…you've
stayed a virgin all this time, by choice, until you marry. But now you're willing to sleep with me without any promise of a future?”

She lifted her chin slowly. “Yes,” she said in a quiet but firm voice.

“Why?”

“I'm not sure…”

He felt a sudden flash of anger. What sort of game was she playing? Did this have to do with money? Or power? Or was she really as naïve as she sounded? “It's important,” he said through gritted teeth. “Think about it, Abby. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want you hating me in the morning.”

“I wouldn't, I swear.”

“Then why
now?
Why
me?
”

She swallowed, her heart in her throat as she reached behind her to the bedpost where Matt's robe hung. She modestly pulled it over her.

“When I was in college,” she began, “I was friends with a group of six other girls. We were different. We didn't drink heavily or sleep around. In fact, we decided to make a pledge to remain virgins until we met and married the men of our dreams.” She shrugged, feeling silly. She tried to explain further, but the words sounded like something out of a bad novel.

“I don't think that's terrible at all,” Matt whispered, brushing the hair back from her eyes, his expression softer, the anger gone.

“At the time, it seemed very sensible, even romantic.” Abby nibbled her lower lip thoughtfully. “I explained to the young men I dated that I wasn't into sex. Some never called again, which I accepted. Others stayed around for a while. Richard was patient for
the longest time, and when he proposed I believed he would be the one.”

“Did you love him?”

“I thought I did. He was smart, kind and good-looking. He always treated me well.”

“But he didn't hang around for the wedding vows?”

She shook her head. “I stuck to my promise to myself—not until my wedding night. Two weeks before the ceremony, Richard totally lost it. He said he was fed up with my excuses. He demanded I prove that I loved him. He said that he loved me but wouldn't commit himself to marriage with a frigid woman who—”

“He called you that? Frigid?”

“Yes.” She was crying now. Big sloppy, hiccupping sobs. “I understood then that I'd let him down. I'd been lying to both of us all along because I didn't really
want
to be intimate with him. I honestly felt nothing for the man that approached passion. But we had become best friends, and I wanted to keep him in my life. Marriage seemed the way to do it.”

Matt stared at her. “I can't believe anyone could think you a cold woman.” He reached out and stroked the length of her bare arm.

She brushed his hand away. “What kind of woman turns down the man she's going to marry?” she sobbed.

“No, Abby.” His voice was tender. “You didn't turn him away, he left on his own. If he had loved you, he would have stayed. He wouldn't have needed proof.”

She was trembling violently, but he reached out
and stroked her cheek with a single finger, and the quaking gentled.

“He would have waited, then on your wedding night taught you to enjoy a man's body and believe in the magic of your own.”

She looked up, as fragile as a tiny bird that had miraculously survived a hurricane. “I don't want to wait any longer,” she whispered.

Matt felt as if the room had suddenly tipped sideways. He and everything in it were sliding off the edge into a void. What the hell was she asking of him?

“I'm twenty-five,” she said before he could respond. “What if the man of my dreams never shows up? Suddenly, I'll be thirty-five…forty…or older.” She looked at him sharply. “What are you smiling at?”

He gave her a wicked look, lay back on the bed and laced his fingers behind his head. “I'd say the very fact you're worried you might not get a chance to have sex proves you're a passionate woman at heart, and Richard was an idiot.”

Her eyes widened, then she giggled. “Really?”

“Really.”

He observed her, amused by the way her eyes kept shyly darting along the length of his body. She couldn't possibly miss how aroused he was. But he tried to ignore his body and consider what was best for her.

Abruptly, he rolled off the bed and stood beside it, looking down at her. “Any man who loved you would wait. Never doubt that, Abby.”

He reached for a blanket at the foot of the bed,
covered her with it, then retrieved his robe from underneath.

“Where are you going?” she asked, her eyes wide with panic.

“The other room. You can sleep here if you like.”

“But I thought you wanted to—”

“What I want and what is right are two separate issues, Abby.” How the words stung him, as true as they were.

“No! No, you don't understand!” She sat up on the bed, the blanket pulled tightly against her breasts.

“I
want
to have sex with you. I do!”

Matt shook his head and touched one fingertip to the tip of her nose. “Hormones talking. If there's one thing I've learned from the business world, it's to stick to first decisions. Don't let others change your mind.”

“But this isn't
business!
” she cried in exasperation. “I want you to teach me everything about intimacy between a man and a woman. I want to know how it all works and feels and why people in movies look as if they're in pain at the same time they're obviously in ecstasy.” Her eyes were clear and bright, and her blanket had dropped two inches, just enough to reveal a pair of lovely, brown nipples.

Matt felt helpless. He would have given anything to do as she asked. He had thought of nothing but Abby—about her body, about making love to her—for days. But he wasn't going to let it happen.

“Don't give up on your principles,” he said gently. “Your perfect man, your husband may be just around the corner. Don't waste your virginity on me or any man who isn't willing to give you what you need, Abby.”

She sat in the middle of the bed, watching helplessly as Matt walked out of the room. All she could think was—for the second time in her life, she had driven away a man she really cared about. There was only one difference. This time, she hungered for him.

A
bby felt like a small child who sees a full cookie jar on the kitchen counter, but is told she can't have chocolate chips before dinner for fear of spoiling her appetite. At one time she had believed the most precious gift she could give the man she married was her untouched body. It would be her promise to him of her love, trust and fidelity.

She wasn't sure why Matt was the man who made her want to abandon that dream. Why he should be trusted when others hadn't been? Did it have something to do with the amazing energy that had pulsed between them that first evening? No man had ever affected her that way before. And since then, she had only become more attracted to him.

“Abby, are you busy?”
his
voice interrupted her thoughts from the other side of her suite door.

She looked up from the desk where she sat, work
ing on clients' files and their meeting schedule but making little progress. “No. Come in.”

A sting of regret zapped through her as she looked up to see Matt walk through the door—tall, fit, eyes dark and intensely sharp. It had been two days since their aborted affair. She had felt his rejection deeply and tried to lose herself in their work, but had failed miserably.

Abby put on a polite smile of greeting. “I was just going over tomorrow's itinerary.”

“Forget about that,” he said decisively. “We're flying straight to Bermuda tomorrow morning.”

She felt something tighten within her. Matthew Smythe wasn't a man who acted on impulse. Why the change of plans? “What about your remaining meetings in New York?”

“We'll reschedule for next month.”

She frowned. “I didn't pack anything for a tropical climate.”

“You can buy what you need once we get there. I've made the reservations. All you need to do is pack.”

 

Matt stood in front of the plateglass windows overlooking Manhattan. He stared out at the skyline, wondering what he was getting himself into. But he'd made his decision and now he would follow through with it.

The phone rang, and he automatically picked it up before Abby could take the call. As he'd expected, it was Paula calling from Chicago.

“I got your message,” she said. “What's this about your not coming back to headquarters for another week or more?”

“We're heading out to Bermuda.”

“But your meetings—”

“Make my apologies and reschedule,” he ordered impatiently.

“Yes, sir.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to snap.”

“Yes, you did, but I forgive you,” Paula said with exaggerated sweetness before she hung up.

Matt sighed. Paula might sometimes scold him for his insensitivity. But he knew, when he put his mind to it, that he was capable of putting others' needs ahead of his own. Now he was going to give his attention to Abby, because, he'd decided, she deserved his help.

The other side of the truth was, he had felt something intense, wonderful, and intriguing for Abby from the moment they'd met. And now an inner voice asked:
Why should you step aside for another man who will appreciate her less than you do?

If Abby really meant what she had said, about wanting to lose her virginity, why should he stand in her way? The gentlemanly thing to do was to show her what she wished to learn. It would be purely an educational process, he reasoned. One that would benefit her later in life. She wouldn't be so apt to settle for a husband who couldn't satisfy her. She wouldn't settle for less than she deserved in a man.

But he would give her a few days to think over her decision, once they reached Hamilton, to make sure it wasn't an impetuous declaration. If she didn't change her mind, Smythe's Roost, just east of Hamilton, would be the perfect setting for her initiation into womanhood.

 

Bermuda's coves were bluer, her beaches pinker, her air sweeter smelling, and the island was, on the whole, far more enchanting than Abby could have imagined. The little pastel houses, piled up on the low verdant hills above aquamarine coves, ranged from luscious coral shades to soft turquoise. Slate rooftops, deeply ridged and coated with white lime to collect rainwater, gleamed in the sunlight. Soaring royal palms, Norfolk Island pines and new plantings of the beloved cedars once cherished by ancient shipbuilders, were interwoven with the richly scented blossoms of hibiscus, bougainvillea and morning glories. Tiny, porcelain-bright tree frogs whistled from the bushes, and an abundance of birds sang joyfully. Abby fell in love with the place immediately.

A car met them at the airport on the east end of the island and whisked them across causeways bridging the dozens of large and small islands that comprised the British Commonwealth known as Bermuda. Abby drew a quick breath when they pulled into a curving drive. At its end was a structure that resembled a pale green castle. “Oh my…this is it?”

“Smythe's Roost. Do you like it?”

“It's beautiful.” Her eyes swept the gardens surrounding the house, lush with palm trees, exotic shrubs and flowering plants she couldn't identify. It was a pity Matt kept such a tight business itinerary. She'd have loved to wander the grounds leisurely, hike down to Hamilton, which he had told her was just a fifteen-minute walk, and explore some of the jewel-like coves she'd seen as the plane made its approach to land.

He must have read her mind. “This time you don't have to rush to change for our first meeting.”

“Oh?” She quirked a brow at him. “Don't tell me you've built in an entire hour of freedom for your hostess?”

He smiled mysteriously. “Our first guests don't arrive for four days.”

She turned to study his expression as the car pulled to a stop in front of a graceful veranda. “You're serious.”

“Absolutely.”

“Does Paula have any idea that you're not going to be working for four whole days?”

He laughed. There was a sexy, teasing tone to the sound that both thrilled and worried her. “Who says I won't be working?”

Abby stared at him and only moved from the back seat when the driver came around and opened the door for her. Something, she decided, was definitely different about Matthew Smythe. Although it probably had nothing to do with her, it worried her. After all, her living depended upon him. Just when she was getting used to the workaholic and tough taskmaster, was he developing a streak of playfulness? This couldn't be good.

 

Matt finished briefing his house staff. He knew he could trust them to have everything in order by the time his guests arrived at the end of the week. In the meantime, he intended to focus on Abby.

After arranging with Maria, his cook, for a light supper on the veranda, he went in search of Abby and found her sitting on a wooden bench at the far end of the garden, overlooking the cove. Sailboats tacked across sparkling blue-green water, while snorkelers
took advantage of the last few hours of evening light to investigate submerged coral where tropical fish swam in abundance. Her red hair fell loosely around her shoulders, catching the sunlight.

“Pretty view,” he commented.

She jumped and turned at the same moment. “I didn't hear you coming.”

“Sorry, didn't meant to frighten you.” He stopped close behind her and inhaled, catching a whiff of her scent above the natural perfume of the garden.

“Ready for something to eat?”

“I'm famished,” she admitted.

He offered his arm, and she hesitated only a moment before lightly tucking her fingers in its crook. They dined on the stone patio, sampling island dishes—conch prepared in a sweet papaya sauce, fresh fruit, potato rolls and coffee with a touch of cinnamon in it. He felt as nervous as a teenage boy, bucking up his courage to ask a girl out for their first date. He waited until they had finished eating and Abby leaned back in the white wicker chair to admire the sunset. Then he began the speech he'd been practicing all day.

“I have an idea I'd like to run past you, Abby.”

“Moving corporate headquarters to Bermuda?” She grinned. “Fine with me.”

“No. It involves your personal, rather than professional life.”

She gazed at him solemnly across the table. “I didn't think my personal life was of concern to my employer.”

“Not to your employer…to a friend.”

She raised a brow. “Now we're friends?”

She was making this hard on him, but he supposed
he couldn't blame her. She must be terribly confused about their relationship by now. “I'd say that two people who strip naked and propose to make love have crossed the outer boundaries of a business relationship.”

“True,” she allowed. “Go on.”

“You were open with me about your past and about your pledge to yourself. I appreciate that, although it came at a rather awkward moment.”

“For both of us,” she murmured.

“Yes,” he quickly agreed. “What I'm trying to say is, I don't think I handled it very well.” Moving his chair around from his side of the table to be closer to her, he took her hand in his. “I guess that's because you scared the hell out of me.”

“
I
scared
you?
” She looked amazed. “I was terrified I wouldn't live up to your expectations in bed. When you left the room that night, I was sure you were disappointed in me.”

“Not disappointed in the way you think.” How to explain? “You see, some men look on deflowering virgins as a kind of sport. Others of us view it as a responsibility…a pretty serious one. What happens that first time for a woman can determine how she feels about sex for a very long time, perhaps even for the rest of her life. It's a lot for any man to take on.”

She blinked at him. “I never thought of it that way.”

“I nearly ran out of the penthouse that night. I wanted you, but I didn't want the responsibility. And I was angry because I felt you were using me.”

“
I
was using
you!
” She stared at him in disbelief.

He nodded. “You'd decided that you no longer wanted to be a virgin. I was the convenient male. I don't like being viewed as a tool.”

She muffled a laugh behind her fingertips, then made an effort to face him with a solemn expression. “Sorry. It was just—”

“Poor choice of words. The thing is, I decided that I shouldn't leave you dangling like this. If you are serious about wanting to learn about making love, I'm willing to offer myself as a safe partner.”

It must have taken a moment for his meaning to sink in, because her eyes didn't focus on him for several seconds. “You're kidding, right?”

He shook his head and didn't smile even a little bit.

“I—I don't know what to say.” Her eyes glittered as if close to tears, before sharpening to bright points and fixing on him with sudden alertness. “If this is your way of poking fun at me, I don't find it amusing.”

“Not poking fun.” He touched a finger to the tip of her nose and smiled. “Wouldn't do that to you.”

She fidgeted on her chair, looking pensively toward a distant island.

“Listen, Abby,” Matt continued, “I won't pretend that making love to you will be a chore. I'm very attracted to you. You already know that. You're a very special woman, and I want you as much as, I believe, you want me. But if we do this, if we follow our instincts and become intimate, I'll be making a substantial sacrifice.”

She frowned prettily, and more than anything he wanted to kiss her then and there. “I don't understand,” she murmured.

“Our professional relationship will change, probably for the worse. It might end completely because of the strong emotional issues involved.” Her eyes
grew wide as he lifted her fingertips to his lips and brushed them lightly. Her answering shiver vibrated through his own body. “I will probably lose the most effective hostess I've ever had, and that's no small thing to me.”

“Your offer…” She ran the tip of her tongue nervously over her upper lip. “I want to take you up on your offer.
I do.
” Her eyes shone eagerly, but something was holding her back. He listened hard to her next words. “I can't afford to be without a job if this suddenly turns sour and we find it impossible to work together.”

He let out a long, held breath. If that was all that was bothering her… “Already taken care of,” he said with a smile.

“Oh?”

“Your contract. It states that you are guaranteed at least a full year's work, or severance pay to cover the same.”

“You mean, you can't fire me for a whole year?”

“You get paid even if you quit tomorrow. Enough security for you, Abby?”

She nodded. “That's more than fair.” He noticed a subtle trembling in her hands as they lay on the table.

“One night, if that's all you want. I won't press you for more.”

She gave a grim little smirk. “No strings. Isn't that the perfect sexual encounter from the male perspective?”

“Not always,” he said softly. “I want you to be sure. Really sure that this is what you want.” He touched her cheek gently. “This isn't about me, for
once. It's whatever is right for you. Take some time to think about it.”

She smiled gratefully up at him. “Yes…yes, I will.”

That night, as Abby lay in bed, she felt a restlessness she'd never known before. At one time she'd been proud of the control she had over her life. The freedom to reject sex had been liberating. She would decide when and where it would happen for her—and with whom. No man could take that away from her.

Yes, young men had tempted her. Particularly Richard. But not so much that she had trouble telling them no. In her heart, she knew she could never tell Matt that she didn't want him to touch her. Fate, destiny, something more powerful than human will had taken over, and she felt helpless to change what must be.