The Anathema (23 page)

“Not lately, no. I mostly go swimming in the ocean, or read in the library. I go for a walk in the evenings, and watch the stars come out. I spent my third, fifth, and eleventh Christmas’s there and more than half of my summers. I learned to fly a kite there. I read
The Stranger
underneath an old tree behind the house when I was eleven and thought it was amazing. My sisters have a rope swing. There is a jetty with a few small sailboats. Are you getting the idea, Alex?” Anastasia asked. “This isn’t a ploy. I’m inviting you to come somewhere that I like to go, a place that is important to me.”

“Who are you bringing? Who is going to be there?”

“Renton, Timor, Katya, Svetlana, and a number of staff members you haven’t met. Also, my little sisters may be there,” Anastasia said, in an offhand manner. “I am bringing my cook, too, but we have a modern, fully stocked kitchen, Emily, and I hope you will indulge me at least once…”

“Sure!” Emily chirped. “I like to cook, really!”

“Can I bring someone?” Alex asked cautiously.

“Probably, though it would be difficult if you request someone else from the Hegemony,” Anastasia said. “Of course, since Eerie is doing Field Study over break and Vivik is going back home, I’m not sure who you intend on inviting. Steve, perhaps?”

Alex swore to himself silently. Of course Vivik would be going back home, he had a huge family back in his unpronounceable hometown. In addition, he hadn’t managed to talk to Eerie all week. Somehow, he never seemed to remember he needed to speak to her until after class started, and by the time it was over, she was already gone.

“Oh yeah,” Alex admitted. “I forgot that Vivik would be going home.”

“Well, it isn’t like you have to decide this instant,” Anastasia said lightly, dabbing the sides of her lips with her napkin, and then folding it neatly and putting it down on the table. “But, do tell me soon. Timor? We should probably be going. Can I offer you a ride back to Operations, Therese?”

“Oh no,” Therese said firmly, ignoring Emily’s horrified stare. “I’m staying.”

Anastasia and Timor left shortly after, Anastasia and Emily whispering to each other briefly, as if they were confidants, close friends. Alex was seriously starting to wonder what was going on. Therese, to his amazement, went upstairs without a word. This left Emily and him, sitting on the couch in the living room side by side, with nothing that Alex felt like talking about.

“Are you ready to tell me what exactly is going on? Because this was not the most pleasant surprise I’ve ever had,” he said, careful to smile and make sure that his tone sounded light, because he didn’t want her to start crying again.

“I know,” Emily said, sighing, “I didn’t want to do it like that, but Anastasia insisted.”

Alex waited and watched while Emily worked up the nerve to continue, her hand inching towards his and then retreating in such a tremendous struggle that he took pity on her and grabbed it himself. She smiled contentedly, took a deep breath, and then started to explain.

“You realize that I am on the outs with the Hegemony, right? My father called two nights ago and threatened to pull me from school. Chandi and Hope are all but convinced that I am liar and a failure.”

“I thought maybe I took care of that problem for you the other day,” Alex said carefully.

Emily sighed again, more loudly, and Alex started to feel bad for her, for the position he had put her in.

“I told you not to do that, Alex. If anything, you forced the issue, though I know that you meant well. Tell me, what do you think I would gain by you forcing the Hegemony to keep me here at the Academy? What do you think would happen to me once I graduate, and you aren’t around anymore to lean on them on my behalf?”

“Ah,” Alex said, shamefaced. “I didn’t think about that.”

“You have that tendency. You aren’t exactly the best at noticing what’s going on around you, particularly when you’re all worked up.”

Emily patted his hand and smiled at him.

“Don’t get me wrong, it was a sweet gesture, and I’m touched that you were looking out for me, but this whole situation is something that I have to resolve myself.” Emily paused and took a healthy sip from her wine glass, something he noticed her doing all evening, which he didn’t think of as normal behavior for her. “I know what you think of Anastasia, and I don’t blame you, but she is weirdly reasonable. She’s always been fair with me, even nice, in her own way. I think that maybe she’s a bit lonely. The price the Hegemony wanted from you to keep me here was too high, Alex, anyway, whatever it was. I know, I’ve been paying off favors to those bastards for years, and you always end up further in their debt. Anastasia’s help was far more affordable.”

“What did you have to give her in return?”

“Nothing important, if it doesn’t work out,” Emily said, waving her hand dismissively while she finished her glass. “If it does, well, then what I promised her is something she would have had already.”

“You’re talking in riddles,” Alex complained. “That isn’t like you. Just tell me what’s up.”

“I want you to come with me to the island, that is what,” Emily said sternly. “Come on, it will be fun, I promise. She has an island! How cool is that? You – you are going to come with me, right? Unless,” she said, her eyes downcast, “maybe you don’t want to. Though,” she pouted, “you did take Eerie to San Francisco already…”

“I didn’t really take her there,” Alex protested. “Besides, that wasn’t… ah, whatever. I’m probably gonna come.”

“Really?” Emily demanded, grabbing Alex by the shoulders and pinning him against the couch. “You aren’t just saying that? Because I’m going to be angry if you get my hopes up and then turn out just to be joking.”

Alex meant to push her away, but by the time he got his hands up to do so, he didn’t really feel like doing that. His hands seemed to fall almost naturally onto her back, one running through her long, blonde hair, which was as a soft as it looked.

“No, I’m serious. But my mind’s not totally made up yet.”

“Oh?” Emily said, sitting down comfortably in his lap, her arms around his neck. “You still need convincing?”

“I might,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close before he’d even thought about what he was doing. She squealed, steadied herself against his shoulder, and then bent down so that she could kiss him. Their lips met eagerly, then he remembered what Eerie had taught him, and did his best to move along with the flow of things, to be tender, not to let his excitement overwhelm him.

He felt a twinge of guilt, thinking about kissing Eerie, but he was so much more aware of the girl sitting in his lap, warm and inviting and smelling faintly of flowers, that it didn’t seem to matter that much. It was all something that could be worked out later, he thought hazily. And Emily was so very here. Her lips were warm, and he could feel her heart beat when he ran his fingers along the graceful line of her neck. Alex slowly lost track of everything except the way her skin felt, and the warmth of her breath against his neck.

Therese made enough noise stumbling down the hall and descending the stairs that Emily had time to straighten her clothing and to take a seat at a more discreet distance from Alex. Therese walked in, bleary eyed, and then sat down on the couch on the other side of Alex.

“Do you need something, Therese?” Emily asked, her voice saccharine.

Therese crossed her arms and glared sleepily at Alex.

“I need a glass of water, and you need to walk your boyfriend to the bus station before the last bus,” she said crossly. “I gave you guys an hour of privacy. You’ll have all of break to do whatever you want. But you’ve still got to commit to that, don’t you, Alex?”

“Well, uh…”

Alex knew he was blushing, but what could he do about it? It was a little bit painful, that Therese had known exactly what they were up to, and let it go on for a short time. It made him feel very childish, and easily manipulated.

“Therese,” Emily said, shaking her head, “he could stay here, you know? He could sleep in Mom and Dad’s bed. They haven’t been here in weeks, and the sheets are clean.”

Therese shook her head.

“No way. Not happening. Not tonight.”

Alex’s head was starting to clear, and for some reason, staying didn’t seem like such a good idea; anyway, Therese was implacable. She was right – if he went on the Spring Break trip, he figured sleeping with Emily was inevitable, unless he was determined not to. Very determined. And why go on the trip at all, then?

“I should actually go back to the dorms,” Alex said, avoiding Emily’s eyes, suddenly made guilty by the series of ideas that had only now occurred to him. “I have a bunch of things to take care of tomorrow.”

Emily was reluctant, but eventually she relented and walked him to the bus station, clutching his arm and stopping twice in alcoves and small breezeways to kiss him again, briefly but intensely, her body pressed to his, warm against the night and the wind. Alex started to wonder why it was that he was heading back to the Academy.

However, when the bus finally came, and Emily let him go, as he rode up the hill on the rattling diesel with his head against the cold glass of the window, he remembered the bad thoughts. Some about Emily, some about Eerie, some about everyone he knew. After a while, it made him feel lonely and persecuted, so he did his best to push it from his mind.

Alex looked at the pig, and the pig looked back at him. He wished it had fur. Its pink, knobby skin was altogether too close to human for him, and its bright little eyes even more so. Then it made a noise that his mind insisted was simultaneously questioning and pleading, and Alex couldn’t swallow past the knot in his throat.

“I’m not sure I can do this…”

“Yeah, I noticed that in Mitsuru’s notes,” Alice Gallow said, flipping through pages on his clipboard until she found the one she was looking for. “You’re kind of a wimp, aren’t you, Alex? Well, I don’t plan on coddling you the way Mitsuru did.”

“Hey…” Alex protested weakly. “I just don’t want to shoot the stupid pig, okay?”

“You eat meat, right, Alex?” Alice said, grinning at him. He’d never met a person, he decided, who smiled more often or looked less friendly when they did so. “If that little piggy was already conveniently turned into delicious bacon or pork chops, you would eat it, right?”

“Well, yes, but…”

Alice advanced on him slowly, menacingly, her grin displaying her white, sparkling teeth.

“If you won’t kill it, you don’t deserve to eat it,” Alice said, reaching out to poke one black-painted nail into his chest. “If you won’t defend yourself, then you don’t deserve to live. According to the notes Mitsuru left, you do, in fact, want to live. Is that right?”

“Uh, yeah…”

“Then don’t give me that crap about being more comfortable with someone else doing the killing when you’re planning on doing the eating,” Alice said, turning away from him and back to the class. “This is the Program, kids. What you don’t take, you won’t have. You all want to have dinner tonight, right?”

There were cautious nods and affirmative noises, though Alex noticed that none of the other students wanted to make themselves too noticeable either. He didn’t really blame them, looking again at the gun in his hand, and then again at the pig, who was cheerfully wandering around the radius of what the cord around his neck would allow him to explore. Alex related to the animal, on a number of levels.

“Well,” Alice said, turning back to Alice and licking her lips, “tonight we are having pork. Except for the Jews and the Muslims, of course. Wouldn’t want to upset poor Rebecca’s sensitivities. Then again, dinner could be very late,” she said, taking a chair in the corner of the classroom, “considering we have to wait for Alex to provide it.”