The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf (16 page)

“Why? What's happening?”

Dominil pulled up at a red light and turned to look at Kalix. “Don't you remember?”

“Everything's hazy,” said Kalix.

“You overdosed. You're fortunate not to be dead.”

Kalix's memory started to clear. She remembered taking some laudanum the previous night, then taking a little more.

“Did we see Minerva? Why aren't we on the mountain?”

“Minerva is dead,” said Dominil.

The lights changed to green and they pulled away. They'd reached the edge of Inverness and were slowly funneling through the one-way system that led to the airport. Kalix still felt confused. Her face was aching. She put her hand to her bruised cheek.

“I remember Thrix hit me!” cried Kalix. “What for?” Kalix was gripped by rage at the thought of her sister hitting her.

The car stopped. Dominil turned again. “She hit you because she blamed you for Minerva's death.”

“Me? Why?”

“Your overdose meant we were late arriving. Presumably, Thrix thinks Minerva may not have died had we been on time.”

Kalix's outrage drained away, to be replaced by a crushing feeling of guilt and shame. She'd taken an overdose. It had made them late. Old Minerva had been left alone and exposed on the mountainside and now she was dead. Kalix moaned and tried to make herself disappear by shrinking into her seat. She sat in unhappy silence as Dominil drove to the outskirts of the airport.

“I have to leave you here. I've booked your ticket. Are you well enough for the journey home?”

“Why am I going home?” said Kalix. “Where are you going?”

“I have to go to the castle. There will be a lot to discuss now that Minerva's been killed.”

Kalix felt her face burning with shame. She, of course, could not go to the castle. She was being sent home like a misbehaving child. Although “misbehaving child” didn't seem adequate in the circumstances. Kalix could picture the scene at the castle, with every werewolf discussing Minerva's death and blaming Kalix for it.

“I don't want to go home,” she muttered.

“I don't have time to discuss it,” said Dominil brusquely. “I've got a long drive and I have to get there before night.”

It was the third of the werewolf nights. They'd all turn into werewolves when the moon rose.

“You'll be back in London in the afternoon,” continued Dominil. “I've already called Daniel, and he'll meet you at the airport and make sure you get home.”

Dominil opened the doors. Kalix stared hopelessly at the world outside.

“Was it really my fault?” she asked, hoping for some reassurance from Dominil.

“It could have been,” said Dominil. “We don't know for sure.”

As Kalix emerged from the car she was gripped by a disturbing sense of unreality. She stood outside the departure lounge with her bag in her hand, hardly knowing how she'd got here. Her face hurt and her ribs ached from vomiting. She felt nauseous. Her inherent werewolf strength had revived her a little, but no one could take that much laudanum without feeling the effects afterward.

Why did I take so much? she wondered. She walked slowly into the departure lounge, head bowed, wishing that she might become invisible,
or, better yet, cease to exist.

I'll never be able to talk to any MacRinnalch again, she thought. Even the thought of talking to Daniel and Moonglow was troubling. Had Dominil told them about her overdose? Would they know about Minerva's death?

Kalix reached inside her coat and turned off her phone, scared in case any of her family might call to abuse her. She felt her tread growing heavier, and for a moment she felt she couldn't make it to the plane. Her head swam with nausea and unhappiness. She had to hurry to the restroom, where she was once again sick.

In the cubicle, Kalix rested her head on the toilet bowl and felt her eyes fill with tears. She sighed loudly and hauled herself to her feet. She washed her hands and face. When she looked in the mirror over the sink, her skin was deathly pale and her eyes seemed shrunken, with prominent dark lines below them. Her hair was lank and dirty, and there were stains on the front of her coat.

Another journey where I'm the crazy person everyone wants to avoid, she thought, making her way slowly from the restroom to the lounge outside. She looked up at the travel indicators. There weren't that many flights, but, even so, she had difficulty making them out. She found them confusing and difficult to read, and when some of the letters flickered and changed she began to feel a familiar sense of helplessness and panic. Fortunately, her flight was announced via the public address, quite clearly. Kalix made her way toward the departure gate with her eyes fixed on the ground in front of her.

On the plane, she drank some water and then slept again. She wished that Dominil hadn't called Daniel, as she'd rather have slunk home unnoticed, but he was waiting for her at the exit gate at Heathrow, and there was nothing for it but to accompany him to his car. Daniel greeted her heartily. Kalix couldn't raise a smile in reply.

“Dominil said you were unwell.”

Kalix didn't feel like lying. “I took an overdose,” she said wearily.

“Oh. Are you OK now?”

Kalix nodded. “I'm fine. I'm tired.”

She used this as an excuse not to talk, and closed her eyes on the drive home. This didn't prevent Daniel from talking.

“Dominil sounded grim on the phone. She always sounds grim, but this was even grimmer. Did something bad happen?”

Kalix didn't reply.

“I didn't mind driving to the airport anyway,” continued Daniel. “Gets me away from Moonglow for a while. Things are a bit awkward just now. We had a discussion at the cinema. It was agreed we should never have a relationship. Agreed by Moonglow, mainly. So that's that.”

Daniel noticed that he was exceeding the speed limit and slowed down. He looked over at Kalix, whose eyes were still closed. “That's a bad bruise.”

Kalix turned her face away. She didn't want to talk about it. The anxiety to which she was always prone had started creeping up on her. By now, everyone at the castle would be saying it was her fault that Minerva had been killed.

It occurred to her that her sister Thrix wouldn't let the death pass unavenged. Kalix was momentarily heartened by the prospect of revenge, but it faded as she realized she wouldn't be involved.
Thrix won't let me join in. She'll keep me out of it
.

Kalix felt her anxiety growing. She wished that Daniel would stop talking, but didn't want to tell him to be quiet for fear of snapping at him. She kept her eyes shut and pretended to be asleep, though her anxiety and misery were growing stronger all the time.

CHAPTER 28

The Fire Queen's suspicions were immediately aroused by Agrivex's enthusiasm for attending the official reception for the Great Keeper of the Minor Volcano.

“You wish to attend? Why?”

“I'm officially your niece now,” said Vex brightly. “I should go to these things. Like a member of the royal family.”

Malveria studied her niece, attempting to interpret her aura. “You are quite clearly lying, dismal niece, and had you not recently learned how to partially conceal your aura from me, I would know why. Tell me your motivations for this upcoming outrage.”

“What outrage? You'd make me attend anyway.”

“True. But normally you would protest.”

Agrivex had arrived for her weekly visit to the Fire Queen's palace at the foot of the Great Volcano. Though she could now spend four or five days a week in London, she still had to return regularly to her own realm
to replenish her fire.

“I enjoy an official reception every now and then,” she said.

The Fire Queen shook her head. Her niece's willingness to become involved in official life at court should have been a welcome development, but Malveria had her reservations. Things tended to go wrong when the young Hiyasta was around.

“Well, Agrivex, I will welcome you at the event. Be aware that even by the standards of the court, this will be a rather tedious affair. The Great Keeper of the Minor Volcano is not one of our most interesting dignitaries, though I admit he does do a splendid job.”

“Why does he need a reception?” asked Agrivex.

“It is wise to keep these officials happy. The Minor Volcano does provide power for part of the nation. And the Keeper comes from a very ancient family.”

“Will there be dukes and earls there?” asked Vex.

“The full array of our aristocracy will be in attendance. Why do you ask?”

“No reason. Just wondering.”

The Fire Queen again glared at her niece suspiciously, certain that she was up to something.

“Is there something different about your lips?” asked Agrivex, cunningly diverting her aunt's attention.

“There is! I have a new lip program entitled ‘Six Steps to Perfect Lips.' Yesterday I went through it with Moonglow. Unfortunately, we could not complete the process as we were lacking ingredients, but we will carry on next week.”

“They're looking good,” said Agrivex.

“Thank you.” Malveria frowned. “I do not recall you ever complimenting my makeup before. Are you trying to get me to buy you something?”

Agrivex looked extremely pained. “Can't I do anything? I volunteer to come to this dull reception, and I tell you your lips are on the right track, and all you do is look suspicious.”

The Fire Queen's features softened. “I apologize, Agrivex. You are right. I appreciate your efforts. Do you have a suitable dress?”

“Absolutely.”

Vex picked a dress up and held it to her frame. To the Fire Queen's surprise, it was almost suitable for the occasion. Agrivex had actually found something respectable. As her niece departed to make herself ready, Malveria was left wondering if she might have turned a corner.

“Perhaps the appalling girl is finally learning some sense. She might even become an asset to the royal household. That would be a great surprise, but one supposes stranger things have occurred.”

Vex hurried off to meet her new friend the Honorable Gloria in the Garden of Small Blue Flames. Gloria was some years older than Vex, though still very young by the standards of the Hiyasta. As the daughter of Lord Stratov, she was a well-known figure. She was not especially popular, but was very eligible. Vex didn't really like her, but had purposely made her acquaintance after introducing herself politely.

“It must get lonely in that castle,” said Vex. “With your father being a duke and not having a wife any more.”

“The castle is always busy,” Gloria told her. “We have a lot of functions.”

“Of course. But still, not having a wife must get him down a bit?”

“I suppose so,” said Gloria dubiously. She couldn't ever remember her father saying he was lonely.

“What he needs to do is marry again.”

The Honorable Gloria frowned genteelly. She didn't much care for Agrivex, with her odd clothes and bleached, spiky hair. Had Agrivex remained in her proper station, the Honorable Gloria would have been content never to exchange a word with her. But the Fire Queen, for whatever reason, had adopted her as her niece, and that made Vex an important figure. Gloria was not the only young aristocrat who now found herself obliged to be polite to her.

“I'm sure my father has never expressed any desire to marry again.”

“Probably just keeps it to himself,” said Vex. “You can see it would be difficult. There aren't that many high-class women available. Although they do say the Queen is on the lookout for a husband.”

The Honorable Gloria came to an abrupt halt, crushing a small blue flame flower in the process. She was quite a large young woman, and the flame shriveled beneath her feet.

“The Fire Queen? Are you suggesting my father . . .”

Vex feigned surprise. “I never thought of that. But now you mention it, why not? Didn't they used to uh . . . know each other quite closely?”

“I'd no idea,” said Gloria.

“Well, that's what's rumored in court,” said Agrivex. “Probably wouldn't take much to stir up the old fires again.”

The Honorable Gloria's eyes shone. She liked the idea of her father marrying the Fire Queen. She would be a princess.

“I take it you're both coming to the reception tonight?” asked Agrivex.

“We'll be there,” said Gloria emphatically. “Excuse me, I must go and talk to my father.”

The Honorable Gloria hurried off, leaving Vex looking pleased with herself.

Easy, she thought. Now if Lord Stratov can just get together with Aunt Malvie, there'd be no more talk about me being Queen.

She looked down at the flower that Gloria had crushed. “Sorry about that,” said Vex, who liked the small blue flaming plants. She wished it wasn't damaged, and leaned over it, wishing she could do something to help. To her surprise, a flickering yellow flame flowed from the tip of her finger into the flower. The flower immediately revived, reigniting as it came back to life.