The Art of Living (27 page)

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Authors: John Gardner

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BOOK: The Art of Living
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“Oh no!” Vlemk exclaimed without a sound. “He'll die now,” the monk said. “You've killed him; or he's killed himself.” He still had his eyes closed. “That's what comes of falling in love with the things of this world. Let them be—let them batter and claw themselves to death, as they will. In the end they'll be better off for it, believe me. Freed souls, pure spirit! The same as they were before matter undid them, with all its serpentine twists and accidents.” The monk waved his hand, still with eyes closed. “I know, I know,” he said wearily. “You don't believe me.”

The Queen rolled her eyes to left and right in panic, poking at her lip with two fingers, trying to make out what had happened and where she was.

“It's all right,” said Vlemk with gestures. “A bee stung you.”

She stared at him, closed her eyes again, then opened them and touched her mouth with the tip of just one finger.

The monk stretched out on his back, as if dismissing them.

Gingerly, as if her body were as bruised as her dress was torn, the Queen sat up and looked up the hill toward the palace. “What am I doing here?” she asked. Then her eyes widened and she raised her hand to keep him from answering.

Rising, giving a little bow, Vlemk invited her to continue with him if she was ready. She seemed to consider it carefully, then at last nodded.

Until they reached the palace gate, the Queen walking with both hands on Vlemk's arm, putting her feet down one after another with the care of an invalid, occasionally reaching up with a troubled gesture, pushing her hair back or briefly covering her eyes, neither Vlemk nor the Queen said a word. At the gate she hesitated, looking in toward the great, arched door like a stranger, then glanced at Vlemk and, after an instant, bowed her head. With her right foot she abstractedly drew something in the yellow-white pebbles of the road, a small, perfect square like the beginning of one of his boxes. “Will you come in with me?” she asked.

Vlemk sighed, imagining what the servants would say behind their hands, what they would suppose about his bringing her home in this bedraggled condition, long after breakfast time, her lower lip bright red and swollen. She was looking at him earnestly, on the verge of withdrawing her question, and, to save her that further embarrassment, however trifling, Vlemk the box-painter nodded and gave a little shrug.

Now they had another problem. It seemed that the Queen had no key to the gate—if she'd started out with one, she'd lost it somewhere—and so they took two stones from the side of the road and banged on the iron, at first politely, then with all their force. Suddenly the door of the palace opened and the Queen's greyhounds came bounding out, followed by a stooped old man. Barking noisily, leaping like deer, the dogs charged the gate as if trained to eat intruders alive. There were five of them, lean as eels, their eyes rolling wildly and their teeth like razors, hurling spittle to left and right. “Smakkr! Lokkr! Zmölr!” cried the Queen, but even at the sound of her voice they seemed not to know her, bounding up again and again and biting empty air. She put her hand between the bars of the gate, then snatched it back. “Down, Klauz!” she shouted, furious. “Eerzr! Down, boy!” The old man was still some distance back, moving without hurry, leaning hard on his cane, throwing a shout to the dogs from time to time, but only from a feeble civility. Now, however, the most cunning of the dogs, or perhaps the most suspicious, was showing signs of confusion. He hung back, head slung sideways, still barking as tumultuously as the others but no longer bounding up. The Queen, too, had noticed it. “Zmölr!” she cried, as loud as she could shout, her face red with anger, and now another dog, perking up his ears, showed uncertainty. Suddenly the two dogs were snarling at the others, interfering with their leaps, and in an instant all five dogs had changed their ways completely, whimpering and whistling in their throats like puppies, pressing their narrow noses between the bars, crying for a pat from the Queen. The old man, seeing it, began to hurry.

“Fool!” shouted the Queen when he was near enough to hear, “is this how you manage our watchdogs?

“Oh, Mistress, Mistress,” cried the gatekeeper, tears running down his face, and wrung his hands.

“Look at me!” said the Queen, as if her filthy, torn clothes were the fault of the gatekeeper and his dogs. “Look at me!” she raged, bursting into tears. “You'll pay for this, villain! As sure as I'm standing here you'll pay for this!”

“Oh, Mistress, Mistress,” he wailed again, as if it were the only phrase he knew, wringing his hands more fervently than before.

“Undo the gate, you stupid old man!” the Queen shouted. “Must we just
stand
here?” Timidly, Vlemk touched her arm to calm her. She pretended not to notice.

Nearly falling in his haste, the old man got out his key ring, turned the lock, and began pushing at the gate. The five dogs leaped all around him, joyfully yapping.

“Fool,” said the Queen, seizing the gate bars in her own two hands, her eyes filled with tears, “can you do
nothing
right?”

That instant, with her hair flying out around her head, crackling with the lightning-bolt charge of her anger, the Queen looked exactly like the picture Vlemk had called “The Princess Gives Way to Wrath.” Her cheeks were so bright that Vlemk held his breath.

Almost at once his senses came back to him. He rubbed his hands on the sides of his trousers and stared morosely at the ground. He understood well enough that it was the Queen's fright and feeling of having been betrayed when her dogs turned against her, also her shame at coming home in this condition, looking like a strumpet who'd been run over by a cart, conceivably also a touch of embarrassment over the fact that Vlemk had been witness to it all, had seen with his own eyes how the palace, so well run and orderly even at the height of her father's illness, was now reduced to chaos, when the rule was hers. Even so, her anger seemed excessive, in fact mad, as was the fear he'd seen in her when they'd first arrived here, her desire that he come in with her and protect her from the glances of her servants. He shook his head, hardly knowing he was doing it.

Now, since the gate stood wide open, they went in. She was no less fierce with the servants inside. Vlemk moved away from her while she yelled at them, and occupied himself with the paintings on the walls, family portraits. He saw how the King had looked once, or anyway, how the painter had chosen to see him, tall and elegant but very stern. His hand around the ball of his cane was, for no clear reason, clenched, as if in a moment he might raise it and brandish it, and his hat was cocked forward, not jauntily but somehow fiercely, as if it were intended to cushion the blow if he should suddenly choose to butt someone. Her mother, on the other hand, was the soul of sweetness and gentleness, such gentleness that it verged on feebleness. One wouldn't have been surprised to learn (and indeed it was true) that she'd been dead for years and years.

The Queen's chambermaid came running past him, her hands over her face, weeping.

“A terrible business,” thought Vlemk, and shook his head. The Queen's hands, he saw, were jerking and twitching. It was terrible! A tragedy! But what was he to do?

Now servants were running in every direction, weeping and wringing their hands or tearing out their hair. When the Queen had finished with the last of them, she came to him and said, “Wretches! I have half a mind to order them all whipped!”

Vlemk did nothing but stare at the floor with his head bowed.

“Would you care for tea?” asked the Queen.

“Perhaps another time,” Vlemk said in gestures. “You should rest.”

Quickly, before she could think better of it, she reached out to touch his arm with her trembling hand. “Must you leave so soon?” she asked. “Just
one
cup of tea?”

Vlemk shook his head, then shrugged and nodded.

“Tea!” shouted the Queen, as if expecting the paintings to jump down off the walls in fearful obedience and serve it. Then more quietly she said, “This way,” and led him toward another room. Strange to say, eager as she was to have him stay longer with her, she said not a word to him as she led him to the door, opened it and, not quite meeting his eyes, waved him in. Just inside the door Vlemk stopped short and wiped his hands on his trousers, utterly at a loss. Though it was true that there were chairs and tables in the room, it was also true that the room was the Queen's bedroom; and Vlemk was becoming more and more, these days, a man of rule and decorum. Perhaps it was the influence of the middle-class visitors who were of late his main customers, or perhaps it was the influence of the mellower paintings themselves—or again, conceivably, it was the queer muttering that for a moment he imagined to be coming from the sinister paintings he'd made on the boxes, indifferently scattered around the room. But whatever the reason, Vlemk the box-painter felt wretchedly out of place there where she slept and did all that is most private, and if he dared, he would have fled like a rabbit. But too late to worry about it now, he saw; for that minute a serving girl arrived, sniffing and hiding her face, bringing the tea-tray.

“Over on the table,” said the Queen. When the tea things were in place the Queen sent the serving girl out again and invited Vlemk to take a chair. No sooner had he come where she could see him than the picture that could talk cried out, “Vlemk! Vlemk!”

Vlemk smiled and threw up his hands as joyfully as an old man when he sees his son. “My little masterpiece,” he cried in gesture, and in his delight did not even remember that she was the reason he could never speak aloud.

“Oh, Vlemk,” cried the picture, “take me home, I beg you! She's so cruel I'd die of sorrow if you'd made me of anything less durable than paint!”

The Queen became still with rage, more angry even than he'd imagined her in his painting. She was so angry all the breath went out of her, and her face became as gray as old snow. “Do take her back, by all means!” she said as soon as she could speak. “All she does is whine and revile me and complain! Take her back at once and good riddance!”

“I can't do that,” said Vlemk in gesture. “She's your own very self, a picture so real it can speak. Surely you can find a way to live with your own very self!”

But the Queen was too angry to be reasoned with, slamming the table with the flat of her hand so that the box made little jumps up and down. “Get it away from me! Take it back! Get it from my sight!” cried the Queen.

“Very well,” said Vlemk with gestures, humbly; and then he began to nod up and down like an old philosopher, for an idea was taking shape in his mind. “Perhaps,” he said in gesture, “I can change the picture's personality a little, so that when you look at it again you may find it somewhat more acceptable.”

“Change it to a spider, for all I care,” said the Queen. “Just get it
out
of here, away from my sight!”

“I
like
my personality,” said the picture.


Will
you shut up?” screamed the Queen, and raised both fists above her head to smash it. But Vlemk was too quick for her, and soon the box was in his pocket and his feet were on the road again, trudging toward the city.

12

Vlemk the box-painter thought long and hard about the idea that had come to him in the Queen's bedroom. Sometimes he thought the idea was stark mad, so that he would clutch his head, eyes wide open, and whisper, “Woe is me! What's become of me?” At other times he thought it magnanimous beyond the wildest dreams of any ordinary mortal, and he would put on such airs that to everyone he met he seemed insufferable. But usually he hung undecided between opinions and could do nothing but pull at his knuckles and rock back and forth on his stool, with his eyes tight shut and his lips between his teeth, like a woman who has a baby that won't stop crying. The idea that had come to him in the Queen's room was this: that perhaps he could alter the painting here and there, removing those hints of imperfection in its character, so that it was no longer a true-to-life miniature of the Queen but a picture of what she might be if she had no faults at all. Then she would surely like it, he thought—how could she not? especially considering the fact that (but ah, this was the hard part!) it would no longer talk back to her; indeed, since it would no longer be a perfect imitation, it would no longer talk at all. There would go not only the picture's chief glory, the unanswerable proof that no one in the world had ever captured such a likeness in a painting on a box—no small matter, to Vlemk, for he had hardly gotten where he was without a trace of artistic vanity—but also, alas, there would go Vlemk's hopes of regaining his speech, since it was the picture that had put the curse on him, and the picture—the picture or no one!—that must take it off.

The idea of living out his life as a mute was by no means a pleasant one to Vlemk, for though it is true that he'd been mute for some time and had in a way gotten used to it, indeed, had learned secrets about everyone around him, thanks to his affliction, that had enriched his knowledge of the world immeasurably, with no small effect on his box-painting, it is also true that, with the optimism natural to living creatures, however they may resist it or in their worst moods mock it, the box-painter had always gone on hoping in secret that his bad luck would someday change to good and the picture would relent. Now, sitting in his busy studio with the picture that could talk on the table before him, his apprentices sawing, hammering and painting, or sweeping up the sawdust, cleaning brushes, and talking with visitors—the tiny image of the Queen chattering happily, telling him of life at the palace, how the King had died, how the Queen had frequently covered her with a quilt—Vlemk wrung his hands and rocked back and forth and considered the idea that had come to him again and again. He was so abstracted that he hardly looked up when people spoke to him, and so sick with indecision—whether to do this or, on the other hand, do that—that he would sometimes heave such a deep sigh of woe that people would step back from him in fear.

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