The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man (37 page)

Appendix B. Glossary of Manly Nineteenth-Century Vernacular

Apple-pie order:
in exact or very nice order

Belly-timber:
food, grub

Biggest toad in the puddle:
the recognized leader, the most important person in a group

Brain canister:
head, often used by pugilists

Bully for you!:
excellent, first rate (coined by Teddy Roosevelt)

Cad:
a mean or vulgar fellow

Catawamptiously chewed up:
totally beaten and destroyed

Caterwaul:
a loud, disagreeable, complaining noise (also, caterwauling)

Cheese it:
be silent, be quiet, don’t do it

Chucklehead:
much the same as “buffle head,” “cabbage head,” “chowder head,” “cod’s head”—all signifying stupidity and weakness of intellect; a fool

Dew beaters:
feet; “hold out your dew beaters til I take off the darbies”

Drumsticks:
legs

Drumstick cases:
pants

Dumpling-depot:
stomach

Dunderhead:
blockhead

Fisticuffer:
One who gives fisticuffs, a bare-knuckled pugilist

Full chisel:
to go at full speed or full drive; to show intense earnestness; to use great force; to go off brilliantly

Gills:
shirt collar

Like a grave digger:
up to the arse in business, and don’t know which way to turn

Grumbletonian:
a discontented person; one who is always railing at the times

Guzzle guts:
one greedy of liquor

Havy cavy:
Wavering, doubtful, irresolute

Idea-pot:
the knowledge-box, the head

Huckleberry above a persimmon:
to excel, to be a cut above the rest

Jaw-twister:
a hard or many-syllabled word

Jollification:
party or outing

Maneuvering the apostles:
robbing Peter to pay Paul, i.e., borrowing from one man to pay another

No great shakes:
no big deal

Rank spoon:
A simpleton, a shallow fellow who runs too much at the mouth. A man who has been drinking till he becomes disgusting by his very ridiculous behavior is said to be spoony drunk.

Savage as a meat axe:
extremely hungry

Scalawag/Scallywag:
a rascal

Scamp:
a worthless fellow

Smart sprinkle:
a good deal; a good many

Sockdologer:
a powerful punch, a decisive blow

Square-rigged gentleman:
a well-dressed man

To give the mitten:
when a lady turns down a lover or spurns a proposal

To milk the pigeon:
to attempt an impossible task

To raise one’s bristles:
to excite one’s anger

To throw up the sponge:
to submit, to quit, to give over the struggle; from the practice of throwing up the sponge used to cleanse a combatant’s face at a prize-fight, as a signal that the side on which that particular sponge has been used has had enough—that the sponge is no longer required

Unlicked cub:
a loutish youth who has never been taught manners; from the tradition that a bear’s cub, when brought into the world, has no shape or symmetry until its dam licks it into form with her tongue; ill-trained, uncouth, rude and rough

Sources

Grose, Francis and Pierce Egan.
Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue.
Printed for Sherwood, Neely and Jones, London: Pater-noster Row, 1823.

Hotten, Camden John.
The Slang Dictionary.
London: Chatto and Windus, 1874.

Farmer, Stephen John and William Ernest Henley.
Slang and Its Analogues Past and Present.

Bartlett, John Russell.
Dictionary of Americanisms
. 2nd ed. Boston: Little, Brown, and Company, 1877.

Bartlett, John Russell.
Dictionary of Americanisms.
New York: Bartlett and Welford, 1848.

Appendix C. Words of Wisdom

In your spare moments, you can memorize Rudyard Kipling’s “If” or keep track of your virtues as Benjamin Franklin did. Next time you give your girlfriend flowers, let her see the flower meanings guide so she can interpret your gift. And finally, keep the list of Teddy Roosevelt’s insults handy for the next time you catch your coworker stealing your lunch from the office fridge.

“If” by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master,

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Flower Meanings GUIDE

Ambrosia—
Your love is reciprocated

Baby’s Breath—
Our love is innocent

Camellia, pink—
I long for you

Camellia, red—
You’re a flame in my heart

Camellia, white—
You’re adorable

Carnation, pink—
I will never forget you

Carnation, red—
My heart aches for you

Carnation, white—
My love is pure

Chrysanthemum, red—
I love you

Daffodil—
Your feelings are unrequited

Daisy—
Love conquers all

Forget-me-not—
Remember me forever

Forsythia—
I can’t wait to see you again

Geranium—
I messed up

Gloxinia—
It was love at first sight

Hyacinth, purple—
I am sorry, please forgive me

Lilac, mauve—
Do you still love me?

Lilac, white—
You are my first love

Lily, calla—
You are beautiful

Primrose—
I can’t live without you

Rose, orange—
I think about you all the time

Rose, pink—
Please believe me

Rose, red—
I am in passionately in love with you

Rose, red and white together—
United in our love for each other

Rose, white—
You’re heavenly

Rose, yellow—
Can we be friends?

Sweet Pea—
I have to go; Good-bye

Tulip, red—
I’ve fallen in love with you

Tulip, yellow—
There’s sunshine in your smile

Violet, blue—
I will always be faithful

Violet, white—
Let’s take a chance

Theodore Roosevelt’s Insults

“Being who belongs to the cult of non-virility”

“Classical ignoramus”

“Fragrant man swine”

“Handshake like a wilted petunia”

“Infernal skunk”

“Little emasculated mass of inanity”

“A mind that functions at six guinea-pig power”

“Miserable little snob”

“Thorough-paced scoundrel”

“Well-meaning, pinheaded, anarchistic crank”

“White-livered weakling”

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN’S VIRTUES

“TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.”

“SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”

“ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.”

“RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.”

“FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.”

“INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.”

“SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”

“JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”

“MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”

“CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.”

“TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”

“CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”

“HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”