The Art of the Pimp: One Man's Search for Love, Sex, and Money (26 page)

L
ATE IN 2001, PATTI KAPLAN,
the director, showed up at the BunnyRanch with her film crew and for the next six weeks, as part of
America Undercover
, the cameras rolled every day.
Cathouse
aired the following year and became the highest rated nonfiction show in HBO’s history. It would ultimately air in forty-nine countries, dubbed and subtitled in twenty-seven languages, and I was making $50,000 an episode.

Howard Stern was one of the show’s early champions. He really helped us. He would get on the air and say, “You need to watch this show tonight because my show tomorrow is going to be all about
Cathouse
.” He was there for us every season, looking for ways to promote the show, and I think he was a big part of our success.

The show was part documentary, part soap opera, and part reality television. We had cameras in the parlor, at the bar, and we had modified one of the rooms at the end of the hallway and put four hidden cameras in there, too. As soon as the client walked
in, we would begin filming. We would then film the lineup, watch as he made his choice, and continue filming when he and the girl went off to the room to negotiate the party. Once the negotiation was over, the girl would summon Madam Suzette, who would come in and close the deal. (That was the only theatrical part of the show; the girl generally returns to the office with a credit card or cash when the deal has closed.) With the negotiation out of the way, Suzette would tell the client that cameras were rolling and that we wanted to keep them rolling, and she would ask the client if he might want to be part of the show. Amazingly, out of forty-five clients, forty agreed to let themselves be filmed. Part of it was that my girls loved being on camera and they pleaded with them. But the deciding factor seemed to be that they were going to get to party for free.

We had a lot of great times filming that first season, but there were bumps along the way. For one thing, we didn’t know anything about the business, and we had absolutely no idea how much work it took to create a show. Patti had a fifteen-person crew at the ranch and sometimes it took them half a day to discuss a single shot. I kept asking myself,
How do people in Hollywood get anything done?

Patti was also a bit of a drill sergeant, pushing too hard, and it got to a point where she was acting as if the girls worked for her. One day I stopped production and she had to get on the phone to the people at HBO and ask them to get involved. We managed to get beyond our differences, but it wasn’t always smooth sailing. I felt she was mean to my girls and I won’t take that from anyone. She didn’t seem to understand that the small stipend they were getting for being on camera actually represented a
loss
; they would have been making much more money taking care of business as usual.

Another interesting thing I learned during the process is that you never know exactly what the finished product is going to look like. For example, Sunset Thomas was supposed to be the star of the show. Not only was she a
Penthouse
Pet and a world-famous porn star, she was my girlfriend. But one of the other girls, Isabella Soprano, really stole the show. Isabella had a great smile and a big personality. She was very open and honest, and after the show aired she attracted a huge amount of business. For some reason, however, she decided not to stay, and I’m told she now lives in New Hampshire, where she drives a school bus and raises organic vegetables. It’s too bad. She would have been Queen of the Bunny Ranch. It’s been more that than a decade since the show first aired and we still get ten to fifteen requests for her
a day
.

During the early days of filming, I was so impressed with Isabella that it actually affected my performance. She was so charismatic and so comfortable in her own skin that everything she did felt completely natural. I remember telling the girls, “You’re not actresses. I’m not an actor. Let’s just be ourselves. That’s what people are going to respond to. Don’t try to be something you’re not.”

I think people really responded to that, and also to our honesty. I think they were a little shocked by it, too. The show featured threesomes, dildos, whips, and vibrators. We had run-of-the-mill fetishes — tickling, bondage, humiliation, etc. — and we had more than our share of unusual customers. One transsexual came in and partied with two girls, which even I found confusing. He had been a guy, had become a woman, and was now at the BunnyRanch, hooking up with two girls. Excuse me, pal, but isn’t this where you started?

We had a guy who came in to have a pillow fight with one of our bunnies, naked, but he wasn’t interested in sex. Another client
enjoyed being diapered. And still another showed up as a clown with the face paint and the wig and the bulbous red nose and everything, so I guess clowns need sex, too.

One guy called in and asked Suzette if she could arrange a trampoline party, and Suzette said it wouldn’t be a problem. “We have a trampoline out back,” she said. But the guy said, “No, no.
Trampling
. I will lie on the floor completely naked and I want the girls to put on high heels and walk up and down my body and trample me.”

At the BunnyRanch, we don’t pass judgment. Walk through our front doors and you can be whoever and whatever you want to be (within reason).

We also had one client who was brought in by his mother to lose his virginity, and he was determined to lose it to Sunset Thomas. He was a big guy, twenty-one years old, but shy and a little awkward, and his mother negotiated the deal. When it was over, he came out of the room walking tall, feeling good about himself and about life. I felt great for him. When I was growing up, I didn’t know anything about sex. But in the months ahead, this kid kept coming back for more, and — thanks to Sunset and the BunnyRanch — I am sure he is out there today, making all sorts of women holler with joy.

Ed Kyle

My name is Ed Kyle. I live in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, and my son is Mike Tyler of
The Todd ’n Tyler Radio Empire
, a talk radio show based in Omaha. He and his radio partner, Todd Brandt, had Dennis on the show plenty of times, and he kept inviting them out to the ranch. But they couldn’t go — being married and such, there’s no way they could have gotten away with it. When Dennis found out about me, though — that I was widowed and that I’d worked for the postal service for many years like his dad — he decided maybe I should visit. That was three years ago, when I was seventy-seven. I’m eighty now and my wife has been gone twenty-two years.

• • •

Not long after my wife passed I got married, but that only lasted three months; it was one of those stupid rebound things. I dated a little since, but mostly things were quiet. Suddenly I’ve got Dennis bugging me to fly out to Nevada. He even sent me a picture of himself, which I found a little strange. I thought maybe he should have sent me a picture of the girls.

Finally, I said to myself, “This is an adventure and I’m an adventurous guy. I’ve got nothing holding me back. I’m going to give this a shot.” I told my daughters I was going, and they weren’t exactly thrilled, but a few days later I was on my way to Reno.

• • •

They had a limo waiting for me at the airport and we made the thirty-minute drive to Carson City. The first thing that struck me was that the BunnyRanch was smaller than I’d imagined, but the girls were very nice. After I was showed to my room — a real nice room, right by the pool — Dennis grabbed a couple of the girls and we went out to dinner.

When we came back, we stopped by the parlor and the girls were so damn young it kind of bothered me. So I hooked up with the oldest one there, who must have been right around fifty.

• • •

It was a pretty invigorating experience, so I stayed a second night — with the same girl. It would have been strange with the young ones, though. I would have felt like an idiot. I actually had mixed emotions about the operation. I mean, a lot of them were bright girls and everything, and a couple of them said they were working their way through college, but if one of them had been my daughter — well, I’d be devastated. On the other hand, it is the oldest profession in the world and the clients treated the girls with respect. Also, all the girls called Dennis “Daddy.” And he treated them good, too. I like Dennis. He’s a good guy. Doesn’t put on any airs, either.

• • •

When I got back to Mechanicsburg, my daughters were still a little upset with me. They didn’t want to hear any details, so I didn’t share any. But at my club, I was like a hero. It’s called the Mechanicsburg Club and it’s got about three thousand members, all men — just regular guys who like to hang out and have a beer from time to time. They loved hearing my stories. They all wished they could have had a good experience like that. They thought I was King Shit.

Dennis wants me there again in September for his birthday. And I’m going. Why not? I’m an adventurous guy. I’ve got nothing holding me back.

ONE OF THE ELEMENTS
that surprised both the film crew and HBO was how much the girls enjoyed each other. When they were between clients, they would get each other off, repeatedly and often very loudly. They are very sexual creatures. The perception is that working girls fake their orgasms and it happens, sure, but that’s not always the case. Some of them happen to love sex; that’s not a myth.