The Assassin's Tale (Isle of Dreams) (50 page)

‘Relief.’ 

Surprise made
her look up again to be instantly trapped by his soulful black gaze.

‘I admit I
carried a torch for Emiror, once, but I never noticed that it had gone out,’ he
smiled wryly.  ‘When I saw her happy, married, with child ... I felt none
of the emotions that I expected.  No desire to be with her, no jealousy.’

‘But,’ Mistral
blurted before she could stop herself, ‘your aura –’ she tailed off, dropping
her gaze and inwardly kicking herself for asking yet another question with a
painful answer.

Fabian lifted
a hand and gently raised her chin with one finger, forcing her to meet his
eyes.

‘Ah, Mistral,’
he sighed softly.  ‘When you read my aura you saw, what?  Love? 
Pain?  Did you never realise that it was because of you?’

Mistral
grimaced.  That would be about right.  Emiror causes all-consuming
love and all she could manage to do was inflict pain. 
At least I’m in
the right profession
, she reflected sourly. 

Fabian sighed
at her lack of response then smiled apologetically, drawing her hands closer to
him.

‘I’m sorry,’
he murmured, smiling gently at her across the table.  ‘I know I’m not
making much sense.’

That’s an
understatement
, thought Mistral, raising her eyebrows in silent
agreement with him.

‘I suppose I
should just come out with what I came here to say.’

Fabian’s voice
was solemn, his pale face tense, but an intense emotion shone in the liquid
black of his eyes.  

Mistral
frowned, wondering how much this was going to hurt.  After a moment she
nodded and braced herself for agony when he began to speak.

‘There was too
much left unsaid between us when we parted in The Desert Lands.  I know it
was my fault.  I was not ... I have not been entirely honest with you …
but I will be, I promise.  I just need you to understand something
first.’  Fabian paused.  A hesitant expression came over his face,
making him look so suddenly vulnerable that Mistral felt her heart ache. 
He drew in a ragged breath and exhaled slowly.

‘Since the
last time I saw you I’ve done nothing but think about this.  And believe
me, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to think,’ he smiled ruefully.  ‘I’m
not sure I can explain it, but I think that you feel it too.  The way I’ve
felt, since I last you … being away from you, it’s almost been like being
dead,’ Fabian paused to look at her, scorching her with the intensity of his
gaze.  

Mistral stared
back, listening to every word with a deepening sense of unreality.

‘I truly
believe that we belong together Mistral,’ he said quietly, his eyes never
leaving hers.  ‘I love you.’

Mistral tilted
her head fractionally.  She was sure she had just heard Fabian De Winter
say that he loved her, but that was impossible.  Perhaps he had said ‘I
loathe you’.  Yes.  That was much more plausible.  Mistral was
unwilling to ask him to repeat himself in case that was what he had said, so
she sat in silence, her expression unintentionally blank while she replayed his
words in her head, trying to be certain.

‘Please … say
something.’  Fabian’s face was taut and his hands tightened reflexively
over hers.

‘Um, could you
say that last bit again?’  Mistral finally whispered.

He drew in a
deep breath and said the words again, deliberately and with absolute sincerity.

There was
another long moment of silence.  Mistral realised that she had had been
holding her breath and exhaled noisily. 

‘Oh!’ 
her voice sounded small and strange. 

Fabian gave a
short mirthless laugh and let go of her hands.  He leaned back in his
chair and folded his arms across his chest then regarded her with a bemused
expression on his face.

Rendered
momentarily speechless by shock, Mistral could only stare silently back.
 Her face felt unnaturally stiff and immobile.  In contrast to her
frozen expression, inside her a storm was raging.  Her heart felt like it
had suddenly swelled to twice its normal size and was pounding with wild,
irregular beats and then suddenly, somewhere deep within her, a volcano
erupted.

He loved
her? 

Her
? 

Was he joking
with her? 

His expression
didn’t make her think so.  Mistral was dimly aware, in a remote way, of
other people around her that might have also heard what he had just said, who
might share in her shock.  But she couldn’t look at anyone else.  It
was as though there was a bubble around her and Fabian, sealing them into their
own private reality.  After several long minutes Mistral realised that he
was looking expectantly at her, waiting for a response.  She swallowed,
forcing moisture into her dry mouth.

‘But where
have you been?’ she eventually managed to whisper bewilderedly.

Fabian
hesitated for a short second and his expression told her that this was not the
response he had been hoping for.  Mistral inwardly cursed the part of her
that simply refused to let its guard down.  But he quickly recovered his
composure and smiled sadly at her.

‘Ah,’ he
sighed, clasping his hands together and leaning forward on his elbows.  ‘I
suppose I deserve to suffer.  I can only apologise for any pain I must
have caused you by being absent for so long.  Please, allow me to
explain.’

He was
suddenly cool and distant, making Mistral berate herself again for not being
able to tell him how she felt. 

‘After the
armies retreated from the desert I wanted to find you.  I needed to speak
with you, but the treaty had to be drawn up and Eximius insisted that I was
involved.  He wanted to use my name to add weight to the proceedings,’ he
scowled briefly.  ‘The treaty negotiations went on for hours and by the
time I managed to excuse myself all the Ri were long gone.  I rode
straight down to the docks, but your ship had already sailed,’ he sighed,
looking suddenly weary and took a long swallow of wine before continuing. 

Mistral sat
silently watching him, totally absorbed in what he was saying.  She had
imagined the events after the battle for so long and now that she was finally
hearing them she didn’t want to miss a word.  It was like a wound finally
being healed.

‘Well, Eximius
didn’t seem to be able to wait either because his warship was ready to leave
the harbour too.  I had to make my choice, travel back with the celebrating
Mage under sorcery,’ his voice roughened with distaste, ‘or try and hire a
vessel to carry me over on my own.  In any event, I obviously took too
long deciding because Eximius put to sea without me.’

Mistral raised
her eyebrows.  She didn’t want to interrupt, but couldn’t help being
surprised.  It went against all that the Ri were taught to leave a warrior
behind.  Catching her expression, Fabian smiled sourly and lifted his
shoulders in a gesture of indifference.

‘Oh, there’s
no love lost between Eximius and myself.  He has no patience for my choice
of lifestyle, and since he had kept his side of the bargain he obviously felt
that he owed me nothing.’

Again, Mistral
couldn’t help but interrupt.

‘Explain …
please,’ she said with a frown.

‘Which bit?’
he asked politely.

‘All of it.’

He sighed and
leaned forward to catch one of her hands again, turning it over to examine the
palm.  She shivered as his fingers ran across her skin, although his touch
was warm.

‘Eximius
thinks that I am a fool for shunning the Craft.  It is powerful in my line
and he feels that I could do a lot to benefit the Council with it.  But I
feel differently,’ he shrugged again, disinterested.  ‘As to the bargain,
Eximius agreed to offer you safe passage on his warship in return for my
attendance in any negotiations.’ 

His face was
passive, but his eyes avoided hers.  Mistral frowned at the knowledge that
he had been meddling behind the scenes to try and protect her.  She felt a
brief spurt of irritation, but a larger part of her liked that he had shown
concern for her.

‘Why are you
smiling?’ he asked curiously.

She shook her
head, ‘Nothing.  Um, so ... is that what you and Mage Grapple were
discussing by the ford at the Amber River?’ 

Fabian nodded
and looked beseechingly at her, ‘Please don’t be angry with me for
interfering.  I was only trying to protect you.  I knew that you
would try and board the warship even though Eximius had forbidden you.’

‘But he hadn’t
forbidden me,’ Mistral said.  ‘Quite the opposite.’

Fabian’s eyes
tightened briefly as he realised how easily he had been manipulated into doing
Mage Grapple’s bidding, but his expression quickly softened.  He gazed
down at her hand again, curling his fingers through hers.

‘Eximius will
always get what he wants.  It is of no consequence now.  So,’ he
continued in a clearer voice.  ‘Back to my long adventure.  I ended
up missing both ships and was left stranded in The Desert Lands with just the
small matter of an ocean between us,’ he paused and an ironic smile lifted the
corners of his mouth.  ‘I waited at the docks for the rest of the day and
tried to charter a boat, but no-one was going out.  They were all too busy
celebrating the truce.  I thought I might catch something the next day but
a storm had rolled in –’

Mistral made a
face.  She remembered lying curled up, sick as a dog, in a stall with
Cirrus for the entire journey.

‘And it
wrecked all of the sailing vessels left in harbour.  So I was left with no
choice but to ride along the coastline, stopping at every harbour to try and
find a ship willing to take me … without any success.  Eventually I
decided to keep on riding until I reached a more northern port and, to cut a
long story short, I’ve been travelling to get back to you since the last time I
saw you.’

Mistral stared
at him in frank amazement, at his tattered clothes, his haggard
appearance.  He had ridden back from The Desert Lands ... for
her
? 
Confusion suddenly clouded her face.

‘But, you’re a
sorcerer
.’

Fabian gazed
at her, his eyes black, velvet soft, ‘I detest the Craft and I love you. 
The two just don’t go together.’

Oh! 

He had said
that word again and Mistral’s heart soared.  And, yes, she would have been
that self-destructively stubborn about something she believed in too. 
Mistral suddenly grinned at him, the muscles in her face protesting, unused to
the action.  Fabian smiled back then suddenly leaned across the table and
slid a hand around her face, pulling her into a kiss.

For half a
second Mistral froze, then her heart catapulted itself into the stratosphere
and she responded, rising out of her seat and leaning towards him, reaching up
hungrily to twine her fingers through his dark, tangled hair, pulling him even
closer to her, kissing him back with unashamed need.

A slow
handclap and a few good natured cheers reminded them that they were not alone
and they broke apart reluctantly.  Mistral sat back down looking dazed,
her cheeks flushed.  Fabian grinned at her, his eyes blazing triumphantly,
making Mistral realise faintly that she had never seen him look so happy.
 Or so handsome.     

‘Maybe we
should go for a walk?’ he suggested quietly, reaching out to take her
hand.  ‘There are things I want to tell you without being overheard.’

He led her by
the hand towards the door, steering her carefully around tables, chairs, and
people.  Mistral kept her eyes fixed on him, avoiding the obvious looks
and shameless asides she was getting from everyone in the tavern.  She
thought she caught the twins grinning blatantly at her out of the corner of her
eye, but she didn’t look at them, not wanting anything to break the spell
Fabian had cast on her, a spell that was blindly leading her out of the door
and into the complete unknown.

Mistral
stepped out from the smoky warmth of the tavern and shivered as a blast of icy
air enveloped her.  At once Fabian wrapped his arm around her, pulling her
closer into the heat of his body.  She leaned in willingly, inhaling
deeply the familiar musky scent she thought she would never smell again. 

The night was
perfectly still.  A few flakes of snow were drifting lazily down through
the cold air settling on the dark ground at their feet while they walked slowly
together in no particular direction, wrapped in each other’s warmth. 
Mistral felt a surge of such total and utter completeness fill her.  It
was as though the desolation of the last few months had never happened. 

‘Can I ask you
a question?’

‘Be my guest,’
he smiled.

‘That time in
Leo’s room, when he was outlining the Contract – do you remember it?’ she began
and then paused, hesitancy tainting her voice.

Fabian nodded
and smiled encouragingly.

‘You looked at
me and gave the strangest smile,’ she paused again, unsure of how to ask.

‘You want to
know what I was thinking.  Whether it was about you?’  Fabian asked
in an amused voice.  ‘Surely you just read my aura?’

Mistral
shrugged her shoulders and looked away, feigning indifference.  She didn’t
want to admit to that just yet.

He stroked her
cheek and sighed, ‘I thought you looked like you had a temper.’

Mistral
snapped round to glare at him.

‘But I was
obviously mistaken,’ he added quickly.

Her anger
evaporated as suddenly as it had come and she laughed, reaching out tentatively
to hold the hand that had stroked her cheek with a sense of disbelief.  A
part of her couldn’t believe that she could touch him ... was touching him ...
and that he
wanted
her to touch him.

‘I also
thought I saw something in you that reminded me of myself,’ he murmured softly,
his lips brushed her hair with the ghost of a kiss.

They walked in
silence for a few moments and Mistral thought about what he had said.  She
had also felt almost instant affinity with Fabian but had refused to admit it
to herself.  She looked up at the cloudy sky and sighed, wondering how
much pain they could have saved themselves if they had just been honest from
the start.  She glanced up at him, her expression hesitant once
more.  She had kept silent for so long about how she felt it was difficult
to break the habit and ask the questions that burned inside her. 

‘When we rode
out together for the Amber River, you barely spoke all day.  Why?’

‘Did it bother
you?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly, his dark eyes glinting with
amusement.

She shook her
head, ‘No, but I did wonder what you were thinking.’  Mistral looked at
him closely, watching his expression.

Fabian didn’t
reply for a few moments, his face thoughtful.  When he spoke, his voice was
low, reflecting the strain of the memory.

‘I was happy,’
he looked at her briefly, an apologetic smile hitching up one corner of his
mouth.  ‘Forgive me, but I assumed it was because I was going to see
Emiror again.’

Mistral felt a
ragged tear inside her.  Her face immediately froze into an unnaturally
stiff expression.  If Fabian noticed her reaction, he gave no sign. 
Instead he sighed and looked up at the heavy clouds pressing down into the
Valley.  With a surge of anguish Mistral wondered where his thoughts had
taken him.  To Emiror again?

‘The only
trouble was, every time I actually thought of Emiror the feeling
vanished.’ 

He looked at
her wonderingly, his eyes roaming over her face.  Raising one finger he
gently traced the outline of her lips.

‘It only came
back when I looked over and saw you riding next to me.’

Without
realising it they had stopped walking and were facing one another, close enough
for her to feel the warmth of each breath and the gentle rise and fall of his
chest.  Fabian bent his head down to her upturned face and kissed her
again, slowly at first and then with more passion.  Mistral closed her
eyes, losing herself in the sensation of his lips against hers, his arms
pulling her into him.  Sliding her hands beneath his long cloak Mistral
wrapped her arms around him, feeling his muscles tense to hold her more
tightly.  When Fabian eventually released her, it was with a deep
sigh.  He pushed her away gently, holding her at arm’s length to gaze at
her with dancing eyes.

‘Well,’ his
voice was low, seductive.  ‘Now that we have got all of the important
questions out of the way, will you allow me to explain?’

Mistral sighed
and rolled her eyes.  Details, details.  Did it matter?  They
were alike in so many ways and yet he seemed to suddenly feel the need to
explain his actions whereas she never did.  However, Mistral mused, if it
meant staying out with him longer then she would happily listen to him recite
from a dictionary all evening.

Mistral looked
around and was surprised to find that they were back near the stableyard. 
She realised that they must have walked in a complete circle around the
village.

‘We could
climb up into the hayloft, no-one will overhear us there,’ she said and
suddenly blushed, hoping he wouldn’t read a double meaning into her words.

He grinned at
her and she blushed harder.

‘Don’t worry,’
he whispered close to her ear.  ‘I’m a perfect gentleman.’

Ducking her
head down to hide her flaming cheeks, Mistral stalked across the cobbled yard
and into the dark stables.  Pausing for a moment to allow her eyes to
adjust to the heavy darkness, she heard Fabian chuckling while he followed
her.  She scowled in the darkness and then abruptly smiled, pleased to
find that he still irritated her.  At least that was one emotion she
recognised.

Fabian walked
to the ladder leading up to the hayloft ahead of her and climbed swiftly
up.  Mistral waited until she heard his boots on the wooden planks above
her head before she began to climb.  He was waiting for her at the top
with one hand outstretched, offering to help.  She accepted with as much
grace as she could muster, wondering wondered darkly whether he actually
realised that she killed things for a living.

The low-roofed
loft was filled with the sweet smell of dry hay.  Faint rustlings of mice
and the miniscule high pitched squeak of bats were the only noises louder than
their breathing.  Fabian hefted great handfuls of hay into a large pile
and threw his cloak down.  Giving her a mocking smile he bowed, gesturing
for her to sit. 

Mistral
giggled and instantly stopped, wondering at the sound as she quickly sat
down.  She didn’t think she had ever actually giggled in her life. 
It was both exhilarating and terrifying not to be in control anymore. 

Fabian sat
beside her and leaned back against the bed of hay, hooking an arm around her to
draw her closer to him.  She sighed contentedly and curled against the
warmth of his body, listening to the steady beat of his heart.  After a
few moments, Fabian began to speak in a low, soft voice while Mistral listened
dreamily, her eyes half-closed, wrapped in the bliss of his arms.

‘Do you
remember when I said that Leo was like my brother?’

She nodded
wordlessly against his chest.

‘Well,’ he
paused significantly, ‘he is more than
like
my brother.  He is my
brother.’

Mistral lifted
her head in surprise to look at him.  He was staring up into shadowed
rafters, his face carefully composed.  His hand brushed her hair briefly
but she said nothing, resolving to let him explain without interruptions this
time. 

‘Leo’s
parentage is ... sensitive, to say the least.  Eximius had an affair with
my mother.  I know you must find it hard to imagine someone as cold as
Eximius being in love, but he wasn’t always so emotionless. 

‘My father
found out and issued her with an ultimatum: end the affair or be thrown
out.  My mother would not bring shame onto the great name of De Winter, or
onto me – I was just a young boy then, so she ended the affair.’ 

Fabian’s voice
was bitter.  Mistral pressed herself closer to him, hating the pain in his
voice.

‘But, she was
already with child by then.  She swore to my father it was his and he
believed her.’  Fabian drew a deep breath, his voice shook with suppressed
emotion when he continued.

‘She died
giving birth.  My father was devastated.  Despite his faults, I think
he truly loved her.  He took one look at the child, a baby boy with blonde
hair and blue eyes, and knew it wasn’t his.  Driven half-mad with grief
and rage he ordered the child to be left in the forest to die but the nursemaid
stole the child away and brought him here, to the Valley of the Ri.  The
Divinus himself met with the maid to hear her tale and agreed for him to be
raised here, as a Ri warrior.  He swore her to secrecy and the child was
raised ignorant of who his parents were.’

Fabian’s voice
suddenly became hard and cold, forcing out each word as though it were made of
stone.

‘For years I
thought that the child had been left to die under my father’s orders and I
loathed him for it.  I blamed him for my mother’s death and for the death
of an innocent.  I hated him.  I resolved to have nothing to do with
the cursed name of De Winter or the Craft.  I left as soon as I was of age
and came here, to the Valley, to be trained.  It broke my father’s heart
to lose the last member of his family.  He died not long after I left.’

Mistral
listened to the brittle words falling from his lips with a deepening sense of
shame.  How could she have begrudged him wanting to unburden his soul to
her?  She felt chastened, the misery of the last few months was nothing
compared to what Fabian had been forced to suffer in his lifetime.  Unable
to find any other way to express her feelings, Mistral pulled herself
closer.  Fabian’s arm tightened fractionally around her and he sighed
before continuing in a calmer voice.   

‘When I met
Leo I was intrigued by his story.  It didn’t take much for me to work out
that the orphan raised in the Valley was exactly the same age as the brother I
had lost.  He looked so much like my mother, and not unlike his aunt –’

Mistral felt a
jolt inside her. 
So that’s why Emiror had looked so familiar.

‘Over the two
years I spent here I made every effort to get to know Leo to find out what kind
of person he was before I revealed to him what I knew.  I found his
character to be as I expected, brave, resourceful, clever and very
ambitious.  I had lived my entire life having everything dictated to me
because of my family name and the only choice I had freely made had resulted in
my father’s death.  I had paid a heavy price for freedom from my destiny
and I was determined that Leo should not suffer the same fate – the Ri can be
an unforgiving master too.’  Fabian paused and drew in a breath. 
‘So, I told him the truth about his birth, knowing that if he was anything like
me he would appreciate being given a choice in his life.  He has the Craft
you see, he is born of two sorcerers.’ 

Mistral
listened intently, amazed at what she was hearing.  Every word he spoke
was like a piece of puzzle dropping into place, completing a picture.  How
he and Leo behaved around each other, Fabian’s obvious trust in Leo, his hatred
of the Craft and Mage Grapple. 

‘Does Mage
Grapple know?’ she murmured, breaking her promise not to interrupt.

‘No,’ he
replied shortly and paused for a heartbeat before carrying on.  ‘That is
Leo’s decision to make.’

Fabian rolled
suddenly so that he was facing her, winding his arms around her waist, his face
inches from hers.  Even in the darkness she could see his eyes burning into
hers with heart-stopping intensity.  When he spoke his voice was urgent.

‘But you can
see why I rushed to the Valley once I knew of Putreo’s scheme.  I was sure
that Leo would go on the mission and seize the opportunity to confront his
father away from the sanctuary of the Council.  I was afraid that Eximius
would persuade him to claim his birthright and embrace the Craft once he knew
that Leo was his son.  Eximius can be … compelling.’ 

Fabian was
silent for a moment, lost somewhere in his own thoughts.  At length he
continued. 

‘Anyway, it
turns out that I need not have worried.  Leo had a new distraction keeping
him in the Valley.’

Fabian’s
expression had grown strangely disapproving.  Mistral looked into his eyes
searchingly, her unspoken question prompting him to reply.

‘Golden.’ 

Mistral felt
her eyebrows shoot up but managed keep her reaction silent. 
That
explains a hell of a lot!

‘I should have
left when I saw that Leo was still in the Valley and had not taken the
Contract, but he forced the truth out of me and seemed convinced that Putreo’s
plan would work.  He persuaded me that we had to send word to
Gleacher.  Leo told me he had some first year apprentices who hadn’t been
able to take the Contract but were keen for the chance to prove their worth.’