The Autobiography of Eleanor Roosevelt (9 page)

In the autumn of 1904 the engagement was announced. I was asked by Franklin’s aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Warren Delano, to spend Thanksgiving at Fairhaven, Massachusetts, with the entire Delano family. It was an ordeal, but I knew so many of them already and they were so kind and warm in their welcome that I began to feel I was part of the clan—and a clan it was.

My mother-in-law’s grandfather, Warren Delano, had been a sea captain, sailing from New Bedford. When returning from a trip to Sweden in 1814, his boat was captured by the British and he was taken to Halifax. Finally the men were sent home, but the ship was taken from them. My mother-in-law’s father, Warren Delano, remembered as a little boy the occupation of Fairhaven by the British in this same War of 1812. He and his little brothers were hurried to safety up the Acushnet River.

On retiring, Captain Delano built himself a dignified, rambling house with stone walls enclosing the lawn and garden. There was a stable in the rear. When his son, Warren Delano, my mother-in-law’s father, was seventeen, Captain Delano drove him up to Boston and put him in the counting-house of his friend, Mr. Forbes. The eldest of a large family must begin early to earn his own living, and before the lad was nineteen he was sailing as supercargo on a ship which went to South America and China. This son helped to start his brothers in life and took care of his sisters and various other relatives.

He was comfortably well off when he married Catherine Lyman, whose father and mother, Judge and Mrs. Lyman, were important people in Northampton, Massachusetts. He had a house in Lafayette Place in New York, and later he built a house called Algonac at Newburgh, New York, on the Hudson River. He lived in China for many years, and was a member of the firm of Russell and Company.

After Warren Delano, the sea captain, died, the Fairhaven house belonged to all the brothers and sisters then living. Their descendants happened to be children of Warren Delano, for the other brothers and sisters had had no children.

Warren Delano, the third in line, was my mother-in-law’s oldest brother, and the head of the family when I became engaged to Franklin. He managed the Fairhaven property and the trust fund that went with it. All the family went there whenever they wished.

I grew fond of some of the older members of my husband’s family. Mr. and Mrs. Warren Delano were always kindness itself to me, as were Mrs. Forbes, Mrs. Hitch, Mrs. Price Collier and Mr. and Mrs. Frederic Delano.

Mrs. Hitch was the most philanthropic and civic-minded of my husband’s relations. She was not only a moving spirit in Newburgh, where she lived in the old family house, but she reached out to New York City and belonged to many of the early state-wide and national movements for the bettering of human conditions. After my husband went into politics she took a tremendous interest in him and wrote him long letters about the local political situation.

Mr. Frederic Delano was still in business in those early years, but later, when he came to live in Washington, he devoted himself entirely to public affairs and became one of the leading citizens not only of his community but of the country, putting into public work the ability that had gained him a place of prominence in the business world and working as hard on his unpaid civic jobs as he had worked in the things he did which had brought him a substantial income.

All the members of my husband’s family had business ability, imagination and good sense. That does not mean that they never made mistakes, but standing together as they did in a clan they usually retrieved their mistakes, and the whole family profited.

The Fairhaven house was roomy and had been added to from time to time. In it there were many interesting things. The coat of arms of Jehan de Lannoy, Knight of the Golden Fleece, and ancestor of the original Philippe de Lannoy who came to this country in November, 1621, hung over the door on a painted shield. Some shelves over the old-fashioned desks were filled with interesting little trinkets, and there were some beautiful Chinese vases.

Up in the attic were some ivory carvings done by men on the long whaling voyages. Many of these things are now in the New Bedford museum, but certain trunks held old ships’ logs and family diaries, and these Franklin, in particular, reveled in.

Large family reunions had not taken place in my Hall family for many years, perhaps due to the fact that life at Tivoli, where my grandmother lived with Vallie, was not pleasant, or it may have been because we were scattered and had no mutual interests, being held together only by personal affection for each other as individuals.

Therefore, this first big family party at Fairhaven was to me something of a revelation. There was a sense of security which I had never known before. Without realizing it, it was a relief to me, who sensed in those years a certain feeling of insecurity in most of the relationships of my Hall family. Maude, for instance, was in love with her attractive husband, but financial difficulties were always lurking in the background. They seemed the gayest, most carefree of young people, and when they had come to England while I was at school, because Larry Waterbury (Maude’s husband) was a member of the American international championship polo team, I watched with awe and envy the clothes that Maude wore and the constant gaiety. Theirs was a world in which pleasure dominated. Under the excitement and gaiety, however, lurked a constant sense of insecurity.

By 1902 I was already beginning to realize that debts sometimes hung over people’s heads, that both Eddie and Vallie had squandered what money was left to them, that Pussie had trusted much of hers to gentlemen with good intentions but little business judgment who lost more than they made for her, so that by this time her income was considerably lessened.

My grandmother, as the children came of age, had less and less money because, as there had been no will, she had only her dower right in her husband’s estate. She was barely able to meet her expenses and help her somewhat extravagant children.

Tissie’s husband was well off and Tissie herself for years spent practically every penny she had on members of her family. Every one of them was conscious of financial strain, primarily because each one was “keeping up with the Joneses” in some way.

The Delanos were the first people I met who were able to do what they wanted to do without wondering where to obtain the money, and it was not long before I learned the reason for this. My mother-in-law taught me, but I am sure that any member of her family could have taught me just as well. They watched their pennies, which I had always seen squandered. They were generous and could afford to be in big things, because so little was ever wasted or spent in inconsequential ways.

If misfortune befell one of them, the others rallied at once. My Hall family would have rallied too, but they had so much less to rally with. The Delanos might disapprove of one another, and if so, they were not slow to express their disapproval, but let someone outside so much as hint at criticism, and the clan was ready to tear him limb from limb!

Before Franklin went to Harvard he had wanted to go into the Navy. His father felt that an only son should not choose a profession which would take him so much away from home. He wanted Franklin to study law as a preparation for any kind of business or profession he might enter later.

After graduating from Harvard, Franklin went to law school at Columbia University. His mother took a house at 200 Madison Avenue, and we had many gay times during the winter of 1905. Parties were given for us, wedding presents began to come, and my cousin Susie helped me to buy my trousseau and my linens. It was exciting and the wedding plans were complicated by the fact that Uncle Ted, at that time president of the United States, was coming to New York to give me away, and our date had to fit in with his plans. Finally, it was decided that we would be married on St. Patrick’s day, March 17, 1905, because Uncle Ted was coming on for the parade that day.

Franklin and I were thrilled to be asked to stay with Auntie Bye for Uncle Ted’s inauguration on March 4, 1905. Once at the Capitol, only the immediate family went inside. Franklin and I went to our seats on the steps just back of Uncle Ted and his family. I was interested and excited, but politics still meant little to me, for though I can remember the forceful manner in which Uncle Ted delivered his speech, I have no recollection of what he said! We went back to the White House for lunch, and then saw the parade and back to New York. I told myself I had seen a historical event—and I never expected to see another inauguration in the family!

Four
    

Early Days of Our Marriage

TWO WEEKS
before our wedding all was frantic haste. Some of my bridesmaids came to help me write notes of thanks for wedding presents, of course signing my name. One day we discovered to our horror that Isabella Selmes was writing “Franklin and I are so pleased with your gift,” etc. and then signing her own name instead of mine!

The bridesmaids were dressed in cream taffeta with three feathers in their hair, and had tulle veils floating down their backs. Franklin had a number of ushers, and Lathrop Brown was his best man. My own dress was heavy stiff satin, with shirred tulle in the neck, and long sleeves. My grandmother Hall’s rose-point Brussels lace covered the dress, and a veil of the same lace fell from my head over my long train.

The three feathers worn by the bridesmaids were reminiscent of the Roosevelt crest, and Franklin had designed a tiepin for his ushers, with three little feathers in diamonds. He also designed and gave me a gold watch, with my initials in diamonds and a pin to wear it on with the three feathers, which I still wear, though watches dangling from pins are not the fashion today.

My mother-in-law had given me a dog collar of pearls which I wore, feeling decked out beyond description. I carried a large bouquet of lilies of the valley.

The date chosen had an added significance for all my Hall family, as it was my mother’s birthday. March 17 arrived. Uncle Ted came to New York from Washington, he reviewed the parade, and then came to Cousin Susie’s house, where Franklin and I were married.

Many of our guests had difficulty in reaching the house because of the parade that blocked the streets. No one could enter from Fifth Avenue, and the police guarded Uncle Ted so carefully that it was difficult for anyone to come in from Madison Avenue. A few irate guests arrived after the ceremony was over!

The ceremony was performed by the Reverend Endicott Peabody, the head of Groton School. My cousin Susie’s drawing room opened into her mother’s house, so it gave us two large rooms. We were actually married in Mrs. Ludlow’s house, where an altar had been arranged in front of the fireplace, just as had been done for Pussie’s wedding the year before.

After the ceremony we turned around to receive congratulations from the various members of our families and from our friends. In the meantime, Uncle Ted went into the library, where refreshments were served. Those closest to us did take time to wish us well, but the great majority of the guests were more interested in being able to see and listen to the President—and in a short time this young married couple were standing alone! The room in which the President was holding forth was filled with people laughing at his stories. I do not remember being particularly surprised at this, and I cannot remember that even Franklin seemed to mind. We simply followed the crowd and listened with the rest. Later we gathered together enough ushers and bridesmaids to cut the wedding cake, and I imagine we made Uncle Ted attend this ceremony. Then we went upstairs to dress. By this time the lion of the afternoon had gone.

We left amidst the usual shower of rice. One old friend of mine had not been able to be at the wedding. Bob Ferguson was laid up with a fever, which ever since the Spanish War, when he had been one of Uncle Ted’s Rough Riders, came back at intervals, so before we went to our train we stopped in to see him and then took the train for Hyde Park, where we spent our first honeymoon. It is not customary to have two honeymoons, but we did, because my husband had to finish out his year at law school.

Our first home was a small apartment in a hotel in the West Forties in New York City for the remainder of the spring while Franklin continued his study of law.

It was lucky that my first housekeeping was so simple. I had a tiny room for Hall, so he could spend his Easter holiday with us, and he seemed to fill the entire apartment. Mending was all that was really required of me in the way of housewifely duties in those first few weeks and I was able to do that. But I knew less than nothing about ordering meals, and what little I had learned at Tivoli before I went abroad to school had completely slipped out of my mind.

When my mother-in-law went to Hyde Park for the summer we moved into her house, so I still did not have to display the depths of my ignorance as a housewife.

As soon as law school was over for the summer we went abroad—and with what qualms did I embark! How terrible to be seasick with a husband to take note of your suffering, particularly one who seemed to think that sailing was a joy! Luckily for me, the trip was calm, and all I remember about it is that we played a great many games of piquet and I invariably lost. I was not wise enough at that time to know that if one played cards with Franklin one must be prepared to win rarely. I claimed he had phenomenal luck. He claimed it was all due to skill!

For the first time we did things that I had always longed to do. We went first to London, and were horrified to find that in some way we had been identified with Uncle Ted and were given the royal suite at Brown’s Hotel, with a sitting room so large that I could not find anything that I put down. We had to explain that our pocketbook was not equal to so much grandeur, but that made no difference. We lived in it for those first few days in London.

This is a city that my husband loved and I learned to like it better than I ever had before, because we poked into strange corners while he looked for books and prints, with clothes thrown in. But it was when we crossed the Channel that I was really excited.