The Awakening: A Sisterhood of Spirits Novel (22 page)

“Same thing.” Jordan was a survivor, and no matter what you called it, both terms made her feel weak.

The bedroom door slammed shut. Jordan looked at Sunny. “Uneven floors and walls. Happens all the time.”

“Is that truly what you tell yourself? After all you’ve seen and heard?”

Jordan closed her eyes. “I believe that you believe it’s paranormal.”

“Don’t patronize me!”

“Okay, Sunny. How did the door just slam then?”

“You did it.”

“What? That makes no sense!” Jordan snatched her hand away.

“Okay, let’s break it down. We’re still going through the evidence from our investigation here, but I can tell you, most of the poltergeist activity in this building is centered here in your apartment. More often than not, it’s a psychic phenomenon and attached to a person who’s going through emotional, physical, or psychological events that make them feel like they’re losing control, which causes bursts of subconscious energy that have the ability to move objects.”

“Let’s just say I can suspend disbelief for a second. I wasn’t trying to move anything. I’ve never done it before. And I certainly didn’t choose to aim that flying glass at my head earlier.”

“That you know of. Emotions have
power
, Jordan, actual, measurable energy. And you telling me about your trauma makes a good point. There are thousands of cases that document people developing psychic abilities after events of this nature. In addition to those studies, this is what I believe. If someone lives in grief, hate, or depression long enough, a part of their spirit forms offshoots. Those fragments become shadows. If you give them enough negative energy, they grow and manifest into separate entities, shadows that attach to you—that hold you in that dark place. And they can have their own strength, enough of it to move objects telekinetically. I’m not saying that it’s the only answer here. It’s obvious to me there was another entity here, a negative one, that invited itself and rode right in on the back of your anger. It’s using your energy. You didn’t see yourself, Jordan, or the look in your eyes.”

“You’re talking possession now.”

“Of a sort. I would call it oppressed instead.”

Jordan didn’t know how to answer. The idea was one she couldn’t begin to fathom. She shook her head. “Then why did you let me fuck you, Sunny? If you thought I was possessed?” Jordan heard the sarcasm in her voice but held firm.

Sunny winced. “Honestly? I was caught up in your need at first. I let you because I wanted to show you that it’s you I care about. Then you lit up something inside me and I lost control. The same way I did on the stairs. But I don’t want you to think that it’s just sex, okay? There are so many things about you that I like. It’s your smile, the way you look at me. I think about you all the time since I’ve met you. I wonder what you’re doing and if you’re going to call me so I can see you again. When I’m around you, I feel myself. You don’t know what a gift that is.”

“Try me.” Sunny felt all those things? Jordan felt panic building in her chest. She couldn’t possibly live up to who Sunny thought she was.

“Most of the time, I feel like I’m standing in a busy airport. There is noise, color, and traces of other people’s emotions surrounding me. I can’t help but feel it; it’s who I am. But I feel like I ride a roller coaster all day, every day, and it’s exhausting. You bring me blessed silence.”

“Right along with my shadows that hurt you.”

“We can deal with those. Let me help you heal. I can teach you how to see good in the world.”

There is nothing good here.
How could she make Sunny understand that? “Have you ever considered that I don’t want to see it? I have seen more human suffering than you could imagine. The horrible atrocities that people are capable of. I see these things in Technicolor, every night before I go to sleep. I can’t afford to
feel
. In order to be good at what I do, I have to be able to turn my feelings off, or risk drowning in them.”

“So you won’t even attempt anything that I know would help you.”

“No. I don’t want you to save me, Sunny.”
And I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

“Then I guess we’re done here.” Sunny moved slowly and deliberately away from her, and Jordan stayed put, watching her leave the room but not making a move to stop her.

Jordan heard the front door close and closed her eyes.

Please don’t go.

Chapter Thirteen

Jordan flipped through channels on the television. Why was it that she couldn’t find a damn thing to watch when she had five hundred of them?

Nothing had held her attention for more than a few seconds since Sunny walked out the door over a week ago. Jordan had wanted to run after her but was scared. She wanted to tell her she’d believe in anything she wanted her to if only she would stay.

But Jordan hadn’t begged for anything since she was a small child. It never worked. The pain always came anyway.

She tried to focus on the screen again.
Great, another commercial.
Jordan turned it off and threw the remote.

There was a knock on the door and she ignored it. Steve had come by every day for a week. At least she thought it was him. She never answered it.

“Jordan, I know you’re in there. Open the door.”

She looked down at the ratty sweats she’d been wearing for two days
. Nope. Not doing it.

“I’m not leaving this time.” He pounded again.

“Go away! I’ll call the cops,” she yelled.

“You are the cops, dumbass. Answer the damn door.”

Jordan gave in and stomped down the hall.

“God, you look like shit,” Steve said. He pushed past her into the apartment. He stopped and looked around. “It looks like mine used to. What’s the matter with you? Are you sick?” He began picking up dirty dishes and half-empty fast food wrappers.

“I don’t need a fucking maid.”

He looked at her. “No, but I’m sure you could use a friend.”

The concern in his voice made Jordan feel small.

“We’ve been worried. You don’t answer the door or your phone.”

“I don’t want anyone to care.” It only hurt in the long run.

“Why?” Steve finished clearing the table. “Sit and talk to me.”

She’d rather stick a needle in her eye but sat anyway.

“Did something happen at work?”

“No.” She was just going through the motions there. She did her job, period. Work was something that she used to love and that used to be the most important thing in her life. But each day brought more ugliness, and she had begun to dread putting on her uniform.

“Do you want to tell me what happened when Sunny was here last?”

“No.”

“Then tell me what happened to make you look like an abandoned dog waiting to be kicked.”

Jordan shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Please leave it alone.” Jordan expected him to get up and leave, but he didn’t. Instead, he made small talk and tried to draw her out. She wasn’t hearing what he was saying, but she did appreciate the sound of his voice. It was almost comforting.

“They’re coming this afternoon with the results of the investigation.”

Jordan felt her heart skip but tried to act casual. “Oh?”

“We’re supposed to meet over at Grandma’s in an hour.” When Jordan didn’t reply, he sighed. “Look. You need to get out. We can go out for a beer or something when they leave.”

“Are you asking me on a date?”

Steve laughed. “I probably should. I’ve already seen you half-naked.”

“Shut up, Jackson.”

“Are you going to come hear what the team found? And don’t give me that crap anymore about how you don’t believe in ghosts. You’re smarter than that.”

Am I?

Steve rose from his chair. “Jordan, give it a chance.” He patted her shoulder awkwardly. “And take a shower. You stink.”

Jordan chuckled. “But you’re ugly.”

“See? Don’t you feel better?”

“Go away now.”

As soon as Steve left, Jordan went into the bathroom. He was right. She looked horrible. Purple bruises ringed her eyes and her hair stuck out in odd angles. She lifted her arm and sniffed. She did smell. She met her own eyes in the mirror. She had two choices. She could continue to wallow in self-pity or she could take that chance and see Sunny.

She threw back the shower curtain and turned on the water.

*

Jordan stood on the landing an hour later and smoothed her tucked shirt. She was nervous but hopeful. Sunny was just on the other side of that door and she couldn’t wait to see her. She needed to apologize and wanted to see her smile. She wanted to wrap her arms around her and be surrounded by her sweet fragrance.

She wanted a chance to love her. The weird shit in her apartment had stopped. The rage she felt, the feeling of “oppression,” as Sunny called it, had completely gone. Whatever kick-ass thing Shade had done in her apartment had worked. Whether she believed in the paranormal or not, that could only be a good thing.

Jordan took a deep breath and knocked. Agnes answered. “Oh, it’s good to see you, dear. Go on in. I’m skipping this part. I’ve learned what I needed to know, and quite frankly, it scares the shit out of me.” Agnes hugged her briefly before pushing her into the small foyer.

Tiffany sat at the head of the table with Steve to her left. Jordan scanned the room, nearly frantic. Where was she?

“Tiffany was just going to start,” Steve said.

Jordan looked at her. Tiffany’s cheeks turned pink and she looked away.

“Sunny and Shade had appointments. I’m afraid it’s just me.”

Jordan felt flattened under her disappointment. Sunny didn’t even want to be in the same room with her. She wanted to slap herself for expecting anything different. But hadn’t this been what she wanted in the first place? To push her away so she couldn’t hurt her?

How come doing the right thing hurt so badly?

Tiffany cleared her throat. “Shall we get started?”

Jordan thought about leaving but decided to stay and listen. Then she could put all of this away and behind her and get back to normal. It made her sad to realize that until this moment, she hadn’t realized what a crappy place it was to be.

“We have some interesting evidence from our investigation. It was very active that night, and we all had personal experiences and psychic impressions. First off, we caught slamming doors on the recorder in the basement.” She pushed Play.

Jordan’s attention sparked when she heard the metal crash, and she recalled the first time she kissed Sunny. Thirty seconds later, she heard it again and remembered how she fit between Sunny’s thighs.

“But,” Tiffany continued, “we didn’t get any video. The camera’s battery shut down.”

Jordan felt her cheeks heat. She wouldn’t have needed to see the video anyway. The memory of what she’d experienced that night was permanently embedded in her consciousness. It was compelling physical evidence. In spite of her reservations, she wanted to hear more.

“The next thing we caught was this, also in the basement.” Tiffany clicked her mouse.

“Is that a growl?” Steve paled. “That sounds wicked and absolutely terrifying.”

Jordan’s hair prickled on her arms. The sound was eerie. Hell, she hadn’t expected this. She’d been so wrapped up in Sunny and her own refusal to believe in the paranormal that she hadn’t been paying any real attention to what was going on. She had been so sure that there were logical explanations for everything.

When she heard the laughter of small children, she startled. “Where was that?” she asked.

“The courtyard.”

“Are they trapped here?” Steve asked.

“No. They talked with Sunny and told her they came to visit their grandfather, who used to live here. They didn’t die here, but he did.”

“Which apartment?”

Tiffany tapped the blueprint. “Here. In this building.”

“Is he still here?”

“We didn’t catch any trace of the grandfather. But that’s not unusual. Just because someone has the ability to communicate with spirits doesn’t mean that they all step forward to do so.”

“What about the washing machines?” Steve asked.

“That episode appears to be connected with this next piece of evidence.”

Tiffany clicked again. “This is the camera in Jordan’s apartment. We didn’t actually go in there to do a reading on the space because Jordan was gone, but it picked up some interesting audio.”

Get out, bitch.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Steve jumped out of his chair. “I’m moving.” He pointed at Jordan. “You are too.”

“It’s not done yet,” Tiffany said. “Listen.”

Kill her.

Jordan chilled to the bone. “Is there more?”

“More? You want more? We should go now,” he said.

“Steve, I want you to listen, okay?” Tiffany spoke in a soothing tone. “It’s gone now. Shade took care of it last week, remember?”

“What did she do?”

“What Shade does best. She kicked some ass. We don’t ask her for many details.”

“What the hell is it?” Jordan asked.

“After the investigation, we combed through the tapes and video, then I did some research.” Tiffany pulled out a folder from the stack. “I went to the library and found a newspaper article from nineteen fifty-four. Apparently, there was a murder-suicide in your apartment. According to the reporter, they found evidence suggesting the man was responsible for at least four other deaths. All five women were raped and strangled.”

“Jesus,” Jordan said. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

“How come we didn’t know that? I mean, we didn’t have any problems in that apartment before.”

“We can’t know for sure. The entity didn’t interact with us at the time. It could be that the recent remodel after the last tenant left woke it up, or the entity connected with Jordan for whatever reason. It could be a little of both.”

That dark voice felt connected to her? The thought was terrifying. Was that what Sunny was dealing with when she was around Jordan? She remembered her aggressive behavior toward her and felt mortified. It was all too much to take in.