The Baby Surprise (17 page)

She didn't know if it was just the timing of the candid shot or if their more somber expressions were indicative of the fact that both mother and daughter knew that their lives had already begun to change and would soon veer in different directions.

With a sigh, she slid the photos back into the envelope. But the corner of one of them seemed to catch on something, and when Paige opened the envelope wider, she found a folded piece of paper with a sticky note tucked inside. She unfolded the page and her breath caught. Lynn Mackenzie

California?

It seemed like too much of a coincidence to ignore.

 

Zach had adjusted to the routine of being back in Afghanistan easily enough. What he couldn't adjust to was missing Paige and Emma.

He'd been an Air Force pilot for fifteen years, and during that time, he'd never had any trouble keeping his focus. He'd never let anything or anyone distract him from his job. And it wasn't that he was distracted so much as he felt disconnected. He went through the motions but he felt empty inside.

After a particularly long and grueling day, he stripped out of his flight suit and headed to the shower. As he stepped beneath the stinging hot spray, he mentally calculated the time difference to Pinehurst and swore when he realized it was too late to call.

He'd desperately wanted to hear Paige's voice, to have her tell him that she missed him as much as he missed her. Obviously that wasn't going to happen tonight, so he checked his e-mail instead, hoping for a message from her, just so that
he could feel less out of touch. He was surprised to find a message from Megan Richmond—and he swore again when he read it through.

 

It was three days after Paige's birthday before Zach had an opportunity to call. As usual, he couldn't talk for long, but he'd been aching to hear her voice and anxious to apologize for missing her birthday. He'd felt like such an idiot when he'd read her cousin's e-mail and realized he'd gotten married without even knowing his wife's birth date. Worse, he hadn't gotten the e-mail until it was too late for him to do anything about it.

But Paige sounded genuinely pleased to hear from him when she answered the phone, although she immediately passed the phone to Emma so that he could say a few words to his daughter. Of course, Emma didn't say much back except “Dadadadada” and then Paige was on the line again.

“I'm really sorry I missed your birthday,” he told her. “I promise I'll make it up to you when I get home.”

“It's okay,” Paige said, and she actually did sound as if she was okay about it. “And the flowers were—and still are—absolutely beautiful.”

Later he would blame sleep deprivation for the delayed functioning of his brain because instead of realizing that someone—Ashley or Megan or both—had covered his ass for him and responding with something like, ‘I'm glad you liked them,' he heard himself say instead, “What flowers?”

There was a moment of absolute silence during which all he heard was the cursing inside his own head.

“You didn't send the flowers?”

He winced, uncomfortably aware that he couldn't change his response now, no matter how desperately he wanted to do so. “I would have, if I'd known it was your birthday, but—”

“It's okay,” she interrupted to say again, although she sounded a little less okay this time.

“I'll make it up to you,” he promised.

“There's nothing to make up. Really.”

But the rest of their conversation after that was brief and somewhat stilted, and when he said, “I miss you, Paige,” her only response was “Fly safe.”

 

Paige didn't confront Ashley and Megan about the flowers. She didn't need a confession to know that they had arranged the deception. And although she also knew that her cousins had done so with the best of intentions, the fact remained that she had been duped—and forgotten.

The rational part of her brain argued that she couldn't hold Zach responsible for forgetting something he'd never known, but that didn't soften the ache of rejection that echoed deep in her heart and brought back memories of another birthday that she'd thought long-buried.

“What are you sulking about?” Phillip Wilder demanded.

His voice, always so powerful and authoritative, echoed in her mind, as real as if he was speaking to her now. But the scene that played out in her mind was one that she'd lived seventeen years before.

“You missed my birthday party,” she spoke softly, almost apologetically, as if she knew the oversight was somehow her own fault and that she, therefore, had no right to be upset with him.

“Your birthday party?” There was no remorse in his tone, only cold, hard scorn.

She nodded, though it wasn't just that he hadn't made an appearance at the party but that he'd made no mention of her thirteenth birthday at all, as if he'd completely forgotten the significance of the date. And in that moment, she knew that he had.

He shook his head. “I lost three men yesterday, so forgive me for thinking that some things are more goddamned important than cake and ice cream.”

And with that parting remark, he'd stormed out of the house again, slamming the door behind him.

Paige hadn't celebrated another birthday until the year she turned sixteen. Of course, she'd been living with Ashley and Megan and Aunt Lillian by then, and Aunt Lillian had insisted that a girl's sweet sixteen required a party. She'd invited all of Paige's friends from school and she'd decorated the living room with flowers and streamers.

Paige had been touched by the effort her aunt had undertaken, but she hadn't been able to swallow a bite of the gorgeous cake that had been ordered to celebrate the occasion.

She pushed aside the memories and glanced at the flowers on the table again.

The were stunningly beautiful.

And they were a lie.

Just like her entire marriage was a lie.

She took the tall cut-crystal vase to the garbage, dumping both the flowers and the container inside. Then she picked up the phone and dialed an all-too-familiar number.

“Wainwright, Witmer & Wynne,” Louise said. “How may I direct your call?”

Paige took a deep breath. “Hi, I wanted to make an appointment to see Karen Rosario.”

“Certainly,” the receptionist agreed. “May I ask what it's regarding?”

She swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Child custody.”

P
aige's car wasn't in the driveway when Zach got home, and although he was undeniably disappointed, he knew he only had himself to blame. He should have called from the plane to let her know that he was coming home, to tell his wife that he'd made some decisions that he wanted to share with her. But he'd wanted his arrival to be a surprise—and instead, he surprised himself by coming home to an empty house.

He dropped his duffel inside the door and went to the kitchen to grab a drink. He opened a can of Coke and noted that the message light was flashing on the answering machine. He took another swallow from the can and pressed the button.

“Hi, Paige, it's Karen Rosario. I understand that you canceled your appointment for this afternoon and I was a little concerned about your reasons for doing so. I know you had some qualms about proceeding while your husband is out of the country but, as I explained earlier, I believe that his
absence can work in your favor, so please give me a call to reschedule—”

Zach pressed the stop button.

He'd heard enough.

More than enough.

Lord, he felt like such a fool. He
was
a fool. To think about what he'd been willing to do, what he'd done, to prove himself to Paige. To prove that he wanted to be with her and wanted to be a father to Emma. To prove that he loved them both and that nothing mattered to him as much as being with them.

And while he'd been changing his life for the benefit of his family, Paige was trying to destroy it.

Maybe the lawyer's message hadn't been explicit, but the information had been there. Karen Rosario was the lawyer Paige had consulted when they'd been trying to work out custody of Emma, and obviously that was the direction that she'd decided she wanted to go in again.

She'd never claimed to love him. He was the one who'd foolishly believed she had to have some feelings for him, who'd foolishly let himself hope those feelings would grow—that she would come to love him as much as he loved her.

 

Paige wasn't the type to act emotionally or impulsively. Not usually.

Her marriage to Zach suggested otherwise, but she knew that her decision to accept his proposal was only further proof that nothing had been usual since he'd walked into her life almost three months earlier.

In that moment, everything had changed. And not just because his existence had threatened her relationship with Emma, but because his presence in her life threatened everything she knew and believed about herself.

Being with Zach made her want things she'd never wanted before—most notably, a future and a family with someone she knew she would love forever. And the love she felt for
him—the depth and scope of the emotion unlike anything she'd ever known—scared her senseless.

And so she'd reacted as if she truly were brainless—pushing him away when she wanted to hold him close. Threatening to tear apart the family they'd so recently put together.

She'd had relationships before, of course, but none of any real significance. She'd certainly never been in love before. Maybe she'd come close once or twice, but the truth was, she'd been hurt too many times to let herself form any kind of deep emotional attachments. And as Ashley had so astutely pointed out, whenever anyone had started to get too close, she'd pushed them away.

It wasn't that she didn't want to fall in love and be loved in return—she just didn't know how to let down the protective barriers she'd built around her heart and welcome someone in.

Of course, she hadn't
let
Zach in, either. But somehow he was there. He'd stormed through the barriers without her even realizing it until he was so firmly ensconced that she didn't know how to get rid of him.

Or even if she wanted to.

 

Zach stayed up through most of the night, waiting for Paige to come home.

She never did.

He tried calling her cell but kept getting her voice mail—and he had no interest in leaving a message.

He finally fell asleep toward dawn and awoke with a start, suddenly thinking about Olivia and the tragic accident that had taken her life. What if something had happened to Paige and Emma? As angry as he still was about the telephone message from Karen Rosario, he knew he couldn't bear it if he lost his wife and daughter.

He couldn't think of anywhere that Paige could be, where she might have gone, but it occurred to him that Ashley or
Megan would probably know. Because Ashley was closer, he decided to start there.

She answered the door with a tiny infant in her arms and a genuine smile on her face. “Zach, hi. I thought I saw your truck drive down the street last night, but Paige said you weren't coming home until after Christmas.”

He knew he should congratulate her on the new addition, show an interest in the baby, but he was too tired and worried to make idle conversation so all he said was, “Where is she?”

Ashley frowned. “Paige?”

“Yes, Paige. Where is she? Where did she take my daughter?”

Her cousin was obviously puzzled and just a little wary. “Haven't you talked to her?”

“If I'd been able to get in touch with her, I wouldn't be here,” he ground out.

She blinked at the harshness of his tone and rubbed a hand soothingly down the baby's back. “She took Emma to California.”

He frowned. “California?”

“To see your parents.” She touched a hand to his arm. “Are you okay?” she asked gently. “Has something happened?”

“That's what I'm trying to figure out,” he muttered.

“Did you want to come in—”

He shook his head. “No. Thanks. I have to catch a flight to San Francisco.”

 

When Paige and Emma flew into California, Zach's parents insisted on meeting them at the airport. Although she'd been prepared to rent a car—and would have, in some ways, preferred to do so—they'd insisted that there were enough vehicles available for her use that it wasn't necessary. But the transportation issue aside, Paige had to admit that it was nice to be met at the end of a long journey. And when she
found herself caught, first in Kathleen's embrace and then in Justin's, she really felt as if she'd come home.

She'd expected that Zach's parents would have a lot of questions about the reasons for her trip, especially considering that only a few weeks had passed since her first visit with Emma. But they didn't ask. Maybe they wanted her to tell them, or maybe they were just so genuinely pleased to have another chance to visit with their granddaughter that the reasons didn't matter.

But on the fourth day of their visit, while Paige was helping Kathleen prepare dinner, her mother-in-law asked, “How are you holding up?”

Paige pushed the masher into the steaming mound of cooked potatoes. “What do you mean?”

“Just that it can't be easy to say goodbye to a man you've only been married to for a few weeks with the expectation that it will be a lot longer than that before you see him again.”

“I thought I would be okay with it,” Paige told her. “I mean, my father was—
is
—in the military, so I grew up with frequent goodbyes and extended periods of absence.”

“But you never had a choice in that, did you?” Kathleen guessed.

“No,” she agreed. “But even knowing what kind of demands his career entailed, I chose to marry Zach.”

“And now you have regrets?”

“No,” she said again, shaking her head for emphasis. “Maybe I did when he first went away. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say I had fears.”

“What kind of fears?”

“That he wouldn't come back to me. Not because he couldn't, but because he wouldn't want to.”

“Oh, honey,” Kathleen put her hand on Paige's shoulder, squeezed it gently. “I know my son, which means that I'm well aware of how difficult and uncommunicative he can be, and I have no doubt that if you and Zach actually sat down
together and talked about this, you wouldn't have cause to worry.

“But because that isn't possible right now, let me assure you that because I know my son, I know that, whatever his purported reasons for marrying you, he never would have done so if he didn't love you.”

Hope flickered inside her, but was quickly extinguished. She knew that Zach cared about her, but he'd never said anything about love. “Zach married me so that Emma would have a mother and a father,” she admitted to his mother.

“I'm sure that was a factor in his decision,” Kathleen agreed.

Paige wanted to insist that it was the only factor, but she didn't see any point in arguing with her mother-in-law. But Kathleen must have sensed her skepticism because she squeezed Paige's shoulder again. “Why don't you believe that he loves you?”

“Because no one ever has.”

She hadn't intended to speak the words out loud, hadn't even realized that sense of unworthiness was so deeply rooted in her heart until she said it. And it wasn't until she felt Kathleen's arms come around her that she realized she was crying.

Her mother-in-law's warmth and compassion encouraged her to confide her deepest fears and insecurities, and Paige found herself telling Kathleen everything about her past, from her mother's abandonment to her father's banishment and everything in between.

And when she was finally done, when all her tears had been cried and the potatoes were stone-cold, Zach's mom continued to hold her.

It had been so long since Paige had been held, so long since she'd felt a mother's affection, that she wasn't in any hurry to withdraw from the embrace. As Kathleen comforted her, Paige's spirit was soothed and her resolve was strengthened.
And she knew that she'd made the right choice, not just in coming to California but in marrying Zach. Because he was the man she would love forever and she wasn't going to give up on their marriage or their family. Ever.

 

Zach couldn't get a direct flight to California, which meant that instead of the trip taking seven hours, he was in transit nearly fourteen.

By the time he arranged for a car and made the drive to his parents' house, he was annoyed, exhausted and even more furious with Paige.

And then he found out that she wasn't even there.

“Where is she?”

“I don't know,” his mother responded calmly to his impatient demand. “She just said that she had some things she needed to do and asked if she could borrow a car for a few hours.”

“Where's Emma?” he demanded.

“She's with Paige.” She looked up from the laundry she was folding. “Honestly, Zach, what has gotten into you?”

“I just…I need to talk to Paige.”

“Well, she should be back soon. In the meantime, why don't you go down to the winery to see your father? Maybe he can do something about this mood you brought home with you.”

Being sent to his father was a revised version of “wait till your father gets home,” and as Zach trudged toward the winery, he regretted that he'd taken his anger and frustration out on his mother.

He was halfway between the house and the winery when his mother's little red car came zipping up the driveway. The vehicle slowed as it drew nearer, then stopped right in the middle of the lane.

With the sun glinting off of the windshield, he couldn't
see the driver. But even before the door opened, Zach knew it was Paige.

She stepped out of the car, her lips curved.

The smile was like a sucker punch to his gut.

How could she look at him like that—as if she was happy to see him? How could she pretend that everything was okay when she was planning to end their marriage?

Leaving the car door open, she started toward him.

Zach didn't dare let her get any closer because he knew that if he let her touch him, he would be toast. He would give her anything, everything, just to be with her.

But she'd already made it clear that wasn't what she wanted, and he wasn't going to beg.

So he halted her in his tracks by asking, “Where in hell is your phone?”

Paige stopped moving. Her smile faded.

It obviously wasn't what she expected to hear from him, and she stared at him, uncomprehending. “What?”

“Your phone,” he practically growled. “I've been trying to call you for two days.”

“Oh. Emma dropped it in the toilet.”

“Emma dropped it in the toilet?”

“At the airport. It's completely fried, and I haven't had a chance to replace it.” Her brow creased. “How did you get here? And why are you angry with me?”

“Maybe because I traveled for twenty-two hours to get home from Afghanistan only to find that my wife and my daughter weren't anywhere to be found.”

She took an automatic step back, as if she was afraid of him. Not that he could blame her when he sounded like a madman. But then she dug in her heels and lifted her chin, reminding him that she wasn't easily intimidated.

Her strength of character was only one of the reasons he'd fallen in love with her, and as hurt and angry as he was right
now, he couldn't deny that he did love her. And he knew that he always would.

“If you'd let me know that you were planning to come home, I would have advised you of our plans,” she said coolly. “And in any case, you've found us now.”

“But I still don't know why you're here,” he told her, and then couldn't stop himself from asking, “Did you find out that it's easier to petition for divorce in the state in which you were married?”

Petition for divorce?

Paige stared at him, as stunned by the question as she'd been by his unannounced arrival and unexpected distance. And then the words sank in, and her heart plummeted. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“You really should call home every once in a while to check your phone messages. If you had, you'd know that your lawyer is trying to get in touch with you.”