The BACHELORETTE Project (The Project: LESLEE Series) (2 page)

I laugh. “I saw you about three hours ago and you miss me already? Is that the effect that I had on you last night?” I ask him as I flirtatiously twirl my hair around my finger. Once again: mind blowing sex! We did it twice last night … and once this morning. I’m beginning to believe that this ring is turning me into quite the nymphomaniac. We’ve been engaged for three days and already we’re screwing like rabbits. It’s like Victor has become an addiction to me; a crazy sexual addiction.

He laughs. “Last nigh
t and this morning were amazing,
” Victor tells me and I laugh. Yeah, I can officially consider myself a good lay, can’t I? I’ve got moves in the bedroom that can boggle the mind. “Are we on for this weekend? Saturday night?”

“Hmm, Saturday night
…” I think.

“Well, you know Valentine’s Day is coming up.”

“Ah, yes, Valentine’s Day,
” I say. “My birthday. February 14
th
. I’ll officially be striding out of the twenty-something zone.”

“You’ll be 28,
” Victor reminds me.

“Yes, 28 years old,
” I respond as I roll my eyes. “More reason to make my reservation for a pair of dentures and a cane. I’m getting old! What I would give to be 21 again.”

He laughs at my blatant exaggeration. “28 is not old. You’re perfect. So we’ll go out then on Saturday night. I’ll take you
to a nice restaurant, then we will
go home and watch a romantic movie,
and
then we can
…”

“Practice some Kamasutra perhaps?” I suggest in the most seductive tone that I can say it in. “I’m going to show you exactly how flexible I can be, and then I’ll use my tongue to—” I hear an obvious loud cough in my office and see Minnie, the other paralegal, standing at the door. I’ve been caught.
Damn.
“Um, so I will see you when I get home? I have a client waiting in the lobby for me.”

Victor laughs again. “Yes, when you get home, then you can show me exactly what you plan on doing with that tongue.”

I giggle nervously and embarrassedly. “Okay, I love you. Bye!” I say and hang up the phone quickly. I look at Minnie and smile. “Good morning, Minnie.”

“Morning, Leslee,
” she says depressingly. Minnie is not a morning person. In fact, she’s one of the most unpleasant people I know. She’s frumpy, frizzy-looking, and just plain miserable. You would think that she hates her job or something, but she doesn’t. She actually lives for the law, and she’s also one of the top paralegals at Thomas and Thomas. I wish she were a little bit more … happy, perhaps?

“So, how much of my conversation did you hear?” I ask her, smiling.

Minnie fake grins. “Just
enough to vomit up my breakfast,
” she responds. “Why?”

“Just wondering,
” I say as I pull out the paperwork from my file cabinet. I look at Minnie. She wants to say something. I know she does because she has that look on her face that says, ‘I know something, and I want to tell you, but I won’t.’ So I’ll just ask. “What is it, Minnie?”

She tries to a
void the question. “Oh, nothing,
” she says in a singsong voice. “I just heard some office gossip that I’m sure you don’t care about.”

Office gossip. You can’t get enough of it. I will act like I don’t care, but I really do care. I want to know! I
need
to know! This office is usually boring, but gossiping makes it fun … well, sometimes. I’ll play it cool. “
I’m sure it’s nothing important,
” I reply and Minnie shrugs her shoulders. “It doesn’t affect me, does it?”

“Maybe…” she says then turns the other way.

“Okay, I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on.”

"Okay, so today while I was in the break room," Minnie starts, "I overheard Amy, our senior paralegal, tell Maya, the human resources lad
y, that she was leaving here."
At this point I stop to look at Minnie because now I'm definitely listening! "Turns out that Amy was offered this crazy, over-the-top salary at Rochester and Lincoln Law Office on 23rd Street and she supposedly starts there next week!"

"What?!" I exclaim not even really knowing what to say. How in the world are we gonna hold up without Amy? She’s like the backbone of our office, our very own Obama in a Caucasian woman’s body—but then again she is known for having a shitty attitude. Maybe this will be good for all of us; a blessing in disguise. "So, wait! Who's replacing her?" A big smile erupts over Minnie's face.

"I don't know," Minnie replies, "but I'm so glad the bitch will be gone. God, how I hate Amy!" Minnie begins to walk towar
d the door with her coffee cup.
"I'll be back. This will be break number one of ten." As Minnie opens the door, Amy is on the other side with a disgusted look on her fac
e.
Minnie laughs mischievously.
"I guess we ne
ed an office babysitter, Leslee,
" she says sarcastically.

"Good morning, Minnie,
" Amy replies with an obviously fake
smile. "Going on break already?
Didn't I just see you getting coffee about fifteen minutes ago?"

"Yeah,
" Minnie says. "I was preparing myself for the ridiculous amount of work
that you left me this morning."
Amy rolls her eyes and Minnie walks past her.  "Feel free to leave me some more work. It's quite challenging compared to the shit work that you give everybody else, but you know me. I love a challenge." Minnie smirks then walks away. 

It’s kinda funny actually because Minnie is right. Amy is always piling most of the work on Minnie and there are two reasons for this:

1.
      
Amy
cannot
stand Minnie as far as she can throw her.

2.
      
Minnie is the smartest paralegal in the office and gets the most work done in the shortest time, period.

As nasty as her attitude is toward Amy, the lawyers would never fire Minnie because she takes a
lot of slack off of them, too.
Minnie is a favorite in the office, as am I.

"Um, hey Amy,
"  I casually say pretending to be so involved in my work that I'm not lifting my head up
… Key word:
pretending
!
I have no idea what I should s
ay to her.
Amy's intimidating.
She's like an alpha male in Manolo Blahnik heels!

Amy closes the door of my office. "We have to talk, Les." She sits at the edge of m
y desk and takes a deep breath.
I hope I'm not getting fired
, I think to myself.
Please, dude-lady with heels, don’t fire me.
 

"So
,
do you share the same views as your partner in crime does?" she asks me and I give Amy this I'm-so-confused look as if I don't know what she's talking about, but I know exactly what she's talking about. She wants to know if I think she's a bitch, too. I do think she's a bitch, but I would
never ever say it to her face.
She's one of my bosses. Would I be
that
stupid?

"I don't
know what you're talking about,
" I say nervously and she laughs. A half-ass reply. I sigh.

"Well, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about anyway." I gulp from the nervousness inside. Am I about to get canned? Should I begin to pack my things now? "We really need to discuss your position in this company." My hands begin to shake and I begin to sweat a little.
Is this my last day here? Is Amy getting rid of me?
"I've seen your work, Leslee, and I, myself, am completely speechless ..."

I smile because I don't know what else to do. I twiddle my fingers. "I, um ..." I'm stuttering, I’m
stuttering
!
Oh my God, what to say? "Um, is that
a
good thing or a bad thing?" I ask kinda wondering how I'd get all of my stuff on my desk into a small brown box. It’s like a mini photo gallery of Victor and me, my desk that is. I have so many pictures, so many little office toys, pens, my stapler, my emergency Snickers bar …
Please, Amy, don't say I'm fired!
I think to myself. In actuality I don’t need a job, but I want my job. I like my job!
Think Park Avenue wife, think Park Avenue wife, whatever makes you feel better …

Amy stands up from my desk, flings her long, streaky blond hair, and gives this incredibly fake laugh. I'm scared. Only vindictive people give a laugh like that, like those villains that you see in movies. I can definitely picture Amy being an e
vil villainess or something.
She's very tall, slender, huge chest, defined high cheekbones. You could look at her and say, “Wow! The devil really does wear Prada!” but today it looks like she's wearing Chanel instead. Either way, she just screams evil. Amy, the evil, designer-wearing villainess. Yeah, that’s what I’ll call her from now on. It suits her.

"I wasn't sure if you heard from your little
friend yet,
" Amy says and she looks over at Minnie's desk then rolls her eyes.

"Heard?" I answer acting like I don't know anything at all. "Heard what, Amy?”

"Well," Amy starts as she dramatically leans in toward me and stares into my eyes. I can just taste the bagel and lox that she had for breakfast she's so close. I struggle not to make a funny face. "I have just been offered an office manager position at the Rochester and Lincoln law office!" Amy jumps up and down like a three year old in a candy store. I just put on a shocked face like I didn't know anything at all, but on the inside, I'm actually smiling. No more Amy! There truly is a God!

"I can't believe it, Amy! That's so wonderful!" I respond. I stand up to give her a hug. She runs behind my desk and practically lifts me up off the ground, still jumping in the process. She finally lets me go and she's still smiling. I've honestly never seen her so happy. I'm so used to her being the overanalyzing drill sergeant of the office that I never noticed that she was capable of even smiling without sarcasm.

"I
know it is!"
Amy shrieks as she dances in a circle. "And that's not even the best part! They are paying me a ridiculous amount of money! We are talking six figures!" The look on my face says
'Wow!
' but my thoughts are saying,
'Let's pack Amy's stuff up now!  Why wait?' 

Amy puts one hand on her hip and the other hand in the air doing these absolutely horrible zig zag snaps straight out of the 1990s
‘
You go, girl!
’
honeychild era. "We're talking Benz, girlfriend!" Amy says excitedly and I feel like puking. Girlfriend? Do people even say that anymore?

"Congratulations, Amy!" I tell her. "That's su
ch a great opportunity for you.
How fantastic!" Amy is still smiling like she's on her own planet. Some people say money can't buy you happiness, but in this case, they are
truly wrong. "So, wait," I say
. "What does this have to do with me?" Is she taking me with her to Rochester and Lincoln? Will I have a six figure salary, too? If only I am so lucky.

Amy claps her hands together. "Oh, yes. I almost forgot!"
Of course she almost forgot!
I think to myself. I just want to know what I'm getting out of this whole deal. It sounds stingy, but it’s true. How does this directly affect me? "Since I'm leaving, there will be an opening for senior paralegal here." Amy looks at me and smiles,
another
genuine smile. This could be a record for her. "Mr. Thomas asked me to give him a referral for whom I think would be the best replacement for me ..." Amy says and my palms
are sweaty again. Oh. My. God!
Just say it, Amy!
I scream in my head over and over again. Am I promoted?! I have a good feeling about thi
s! "So, I recommended you ..." Oh my fuckin' God!
Fantastic! Promotion! I feel the urge to jump up and down, too. "… and Chloe Curano." The urge of excitement sinks into the pit of my stomach. Now I
really
feel like puking.

"Chloe Curano?" I question and half of my faith in this promotion disappears. "Why her?" I ask. I never pictured Chloe as my boss in any sense. Honestly, I don't even picture her as my equal. Her work ethics suck, she has this horrible, greasy looking, long, stringy, dark brown hair, a huge nose that would make Pinocchio shit his pants, a nasty attitude as if she's better than everybody on the planet, and this sickeningly skinny, scrawny body that is just
dying
for some carbs. Her and those stupid lacey corsets she wears to work showing off those fake watermelons that she calls breasts. Ugh, I'm convinced that any woman that wears a corset in the public eye
canNOT
be trusted!

"Well, not only is Chloe a good friend of mine," Amy starts and I have to stop myself from showing her how irritated I am, "but she has a lot of drive and determination. Chloe is a natural born leader and she'd be perfect as the senior paralegal, as would you." I begin to smell something: a strong smell; a familiar smell. Oh, yes. I
know that smell. It's the smell of complete
bullshit!