The Backup Plan (24 page)

“Now then, we've spent enough time talking about your folks. Come with me,” he said. “It's a clear night and I believe I detected a breeze earlier. I have a yen to spend an hour or two out there in that hammock looking at the stars.”

Dinah grinned at him. “Nothing risky about that.”

“Oh, I think I can find a way to make it downright dangerous, sugar.”

She laughed as he scooped her up and headed for the door. “Yes, I imagine you can,” she told him, her face nestled in the crook of his neck. “You have a real talent for it, in fact.”

Cord had just set a plate of scrambled eggs down in front of Dinah when the kitchen door burst open. To his shock, Rianna charged in. When the woman got herself all worked up, he could almost see what Bobby saw in her. Normally she was way too accommodating for his taste.

 

“Cordell, whatever it is you're up to, it has to stop,” Rianna declared, her hands perched on her full hips, her eyes flashing fire. Only when she caught sight of Dinah did she falter a bit. “Sorry. I didn't realize you had company.”

Cord debated the wisdom of introducing the two women, but before he could decide whether rudeness or discretion made the most sense, Dinah held out her hand.

“I'm Dinah.”

“Rianna,” Bobby's fiancée announced. “Don't I know you from somewhere? You look awfully familiar.”

The scene was spinning out of control right in front of Cord's eyes. If Rianna figured out who Dinah was and spilled the beans to Bobby, his life was going straight to hell. He had to get Rianna out of here before she put any of this together.

He latched onto her arm and spun her around, aiming her straight back out the door. “Let's not bore Dinah with whatever's on your mind,” he said hurriedly. “It's a family matter. We can settle it outside.”

Reminded of her purpose in coming, Rianna didn't argue. When they were beside her car, she regarded him with a perplexed expression. “I swear I know that woman.”

“I doubt it. It's been years since she lived around here,” he said. “Now why did you come busting into my house this morning?”

“It's about your brother. Why are you keeping him over in Atlanta? We have a million and one decisions to make. I cannot possibly put this wedding together on my own. You have to do something, Cord.”

He refused to be drawn into her need for drama. “I hear phones are real helpful under circumstances like these.”

“I can't show him a flower arrangement on the phone,” she snapped.

Cord bit back a grin. “Sweetheart, let me give you a piece of advice about my brother. Bobby doesn't give a damn about the flowers or the food or the invitations. The only thing he cares about is marrying you.”

“But it's his wedding, too,” she protested. “I want his input.”

“Really? From what I hear, every time he's given it, you two have wound up close to calling the whole thing off,” Cord reminded her. “Aren't you more likely to have the wedding of your dreams if he's not around to question every little detail?”

She frowned at that, her expression turning thoughtful. “Okay,” she said slowly. “I see your point.”

“Of course you do. And hasn't Bobby told you to do whatever you want?”

“Yes.”

“Then do it.”

She studied him worriedly. “Then this isn't some
ploy of yours to keep us apart because you don't think we ought to get married?”

“Absolutely not,” Cord assured her fervently. “Nothing will please me more than seeing the two of you standing in front of a minister saying your vows.”

She didn't look as if she believed him entirely. “Really?”

“I'm telling you the honest truth,” he insisted, thinking about how much was at stake for him. He wanted that wedding to take place almost as much as Rianna did. Unfortunately her unexpected arrival this morning might have already put it all at risk. “Could you do one little thing for me, Rianna?”

“I suppose.”

“Don't mention to Bobby that you found a woman here when you came busting in this morning. I'll never hear the end of it. In return, I won't tell him you tried interfering in his work.”

She considered his proposal for an awfully long time before finally acquiescing. “That seems reasonable.”

“Thank you.”

“But when the wedding gets closer, you are going to let him move back here, right?”

“That's a promise,” Cord said. “All this stuff going on over in Atlanta should be wrapped up soon.”

“I'll hold you to that,” she said as she climbed into her car.

Cord stood in the driveway and watched until she was out of sight, then turned and went back inside. Dinah was sitting exactly where he'd left her, the eggs in front of her untouched.

“Bobby's fiancée, I assume,” she said, her voice tight.

Cord nodded.

“Why didn't you want her to know who I am?”

He wrestled with an answer that wouldn't get her dander up. “You know it will only complicate things if she tells Bobby you're not only home, but sleeping with me. It's liable to shake up their relationship. Bobby's likely to come back here and break my jaw.” He grinned. “You wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?”

She gave him a wry look. “I'm not entirely sure about that. Something tells me you've been playing fast and loose with a lot of things to get your way. Maybe Bobby should punch you. And maybe I was wrong to take your word that Bobby wouldn't care that I'm back. Cord, what have you been up to? Please tell me you didn't deliberately set out to keep me and Bobby apart.”

He couldn't let her start down that path. Cord pulled her out of the chair and into his arms. “Are you telling me you're not satisfied with the way things have been going between us? Are you still thinking about my brother?”

“But—”

Cord kissed her until she began to relax and throw herself into the kiss. The temper in her eyes turned to a different sort of heat.

“Take me back upstairs,” she suggested. “But one of these days, you and I are going to have to have a serious conversation about all of this. If I find out—”

Cord touched a finger to her lips. “Hush, sugar. All this talk is spoiling the mood and I don't have a lot of time. Sooner or later, I do have to get some work done.”

All of the unasked questions died then and she gave him a provocative smile that made his pulse scramble. “I vote for later.”

“That's most certainly the vote that counts,” he said at once, scooping her into his arms and heading for the stairs, grateful for the narrow escape. It was a warning, though. He needed to get this whole thing out in the open with her and with Bobby before one or the other of them put the pieces together. For now, though, he grinned at Dinah. “I expect you to write me a note explaining my absence so I'll have something I can give to your mother.”

Dinah laughed. “Trust me, you do not want me writing you an excuse to show my mother. Any truthful thing I'm likely to say would give her a heart attack.”

“You think what we're doing is that scandalous?”

Her smile spread. “I surely am hoping, Cordell.”

D
inah hadn't been able to shake Cord's comment a few days earlier about her going back to Afghanistan. Was that what it was going to take to finally put the past and Peter behind her? Her sessions with Warren had taken her so far, but not far enough. What Cord said made sense, that she needed to go back to the place where she'd lost everything and reclaim her sense of her own strengths.

As a practical matter, though, could she even do it? Assuming the network and Ray agreed, was she well enough to handle the stress? Only one person she could think of might have the answer to that.

As soon as her session with Warren began, she asked him. “Here's a hypothetical for you. If I did decide to go back to my old job, would I be okay?”

“What do you think?” he replied.

She frowned at him. “Do you know how annoying it is when you do that?”

“So I'm told, but that is the bottom line, Dinah.” He regarded her with an unblinking gaze. “It doesn't matter what I think. The only thing that counts is what you think.”

“It's still an irritating question,” she said stubbornly. “Maggie thinks so, too.”

He laughed. “She's mentioned it. In her case, I'm trying to break the habit. You're another story, though. You're a patient, or a client, if you prefer. I need to use the techniques that work with you.” He gave her a penetrating look. “So, have you avoided the question long enough now? Are you ready to give me a straight answer or would you like to tap-dance around it by questioning my methods for a while longer?”

Dinah faltered for a second. “I actually think I've for gotten the original question.”

“Blocked it out, maybe, not forgotten it,” Warren said. “Do you think you're ready to go back to an over seas assignment, especially in Afghanistan? Do think you can take the pressure? The memories? You still haven't told your family or friends about Peter's death, have you?”

She shook her head. Who would she tell and what would be the point? It would only upset everyone, knowing that she'd been through something so devastating. They would be hurt when they realized that she'd deliberately minimized it months ago when they'd first asked her about the incident. Worse, there was nothing they could do to change any of it. They'd feel as powerless as she'd felt all these months. Why put them through that?

“Your silence should tell you something,” Warren said.

“That I still haven't put it behind me,” she concluded without prompting.

“Exactly.”

“But maybe this isn't the right place to do that. I mean talking about it is one thing, but that's not going to help me put it in the past. Maybe I need to do that
there, where it happened. Isn't that the only way I can really face it?”

“Possibly.”

She regarded him with frustration. “Can't you ever just give me some kind of direct guidance?”

He shrugged. “These aren't my decisions to make. They're yours. I can only help you find your way.”

“Well, do it, then,” she snapped irritably. The old Dinah had been capable of making life and death decisions in a heartbeat. Now she pondered everything for an eternity and decided on nothing. She hated her indecisiveness regarding her life, what to do about Cord, everything.

As she wrestled with self-disgust Warren simply sat there and waited, completely unintimidated by her sharp retort. Obviously he was used to patients who balked at doing the hard work themselves.

She finally gave him a helpless look. “Why can't I decide anything? I used to be so good at it.”

“What was the last important decision you made?” he asked.

“To move back to Charleston.”

He nodded. “And before that?”

She thought back to that awful, fateful night with Peter. “To get out of the car and run,” she said slowly, stunned as the implication sank in. “And look what happened,” she murmured to herself. “Peter died and I lived.”

“Would anything have changed if you'd stayed with him?” Warren prodded gently.

There was only one thing that Dinah could think of. “I would have died with him.”

“Quite likely. Is that what he wanted?”

She shook her head as tears streamed down her face. “No, he wanted me to run. He wanted me to live.”

“Then you really don't have to go on feeling guilty, do you?”

Unable to speak, Dinah shook her head. Relief began to slip in and replace the guilt, and that was enough to show her the way toward forgiving herself. “Peter wanted me to live. He wanted to give me a chance that he knew we both couldn't have,” she said again, smiling through the tears. “It was his last gift to me, wasn't it?”

“I would say so.”

“Then I should stop squandering it,” she said, feeling stronger and more in control than she had in months. It was time to start seizing every moment of this blessed second chance.

“You should,” Warren concurred, nodding in approval. “So, what does that mean to you?”

“That I should go back to work and finish the job we started over there,” she said decisively. She suffered a twinge of regret when she thought about leaving Cord behind, but he'd told her he would wait.

She'd simply have to make sure it wasn't for too long. The man wasn't really known for his patience. She smiled, thinking of just how many times he'd demonstrated that.

Then, again, if Maggie was right, he'd been waiting for Dinah for years now. How long would he be willing to wait if the reward was having her come back to him a whole person in command of her life?

 

Filled with a new sense of purpose, Dinah went straight home and called Ray.

“Hmm, the voice sounds vaguely familiar, but it's been a long time,” he teased. “Who is this?”

“You can't have forgotten me that fast,” Dinah said.

“No, you're definitely one of the unforgettable ones,” he agreed. “How are you, Dinah? You sound good.”

“I'm very good,” she said. “I've finally pulled my self together, Ray. For the first time since Peter died, I'm almost back to my old self.”

“That's great. I'm happy for you.”

She drew in a deep breath before she explained the real reason for the call. She already knew what his reaction was going to be and she dreaded it. She also knew he would accede to her wishes in the end, but not without one of his trademark lectures about what was best for her. She had to make him understand that her mind was made up.

“I want to come back,” she said at last. “Can you make it happen?”

His silence seemed to go on for an eternity. “Are you sure this is what you want to do, Dinah? You know how I feel about it. I'd like to see you staying right where you are, or at least someplace you'll be safe. Nothing's changed here. Every day is a life or death challenge.”

“I need to go back to work,” she said. “And I need to do it there. I need to prove something to you, to the network and, maybe most of all, to myself.”

“You don't have to prove anything to anyone,” he said with a familiar touch of impatience. “You made your mark, Dinah.”

“I did,” she conceded. “But at the end, I messed up. It took a lot away from my reputation in the business. I want to go back to being the best.”

“And then what?”

She thought about her reply for a long time before answering. “And then when the time is right, I'll come back home,” she said at last. “On top. I need to leave on top, Ray. It's important to me.”

“I don't like it,” he said, his voice laced with worry. “But I understand what you're saying.”

“Then you'll put in a good word for me?”

“Yes,” he said with undisguised reluctance. “I'll see what I can do.”

“Do you think the network will go for it?”

“I'll be honest with you. It would be easier if you'd taken the leave of absence they offered, but they'll go for it. You were their superstar over here. If you come back in top form, they'll be thrilled. You are in top form, right?”

“Never better,” she assured him, knowing she might be stretching the truth just a little. She wouldn't be absolutely certain of her state of mind until she'd tested it over there, but she was ready to give the assignment her all.

“Then I'll see what I can do and get back to you,” he promised. “So, what happened to that backup plan of yours? I thought maybe you'd fight for the guy, steal him away from his fiancée.”

Rather than feeling the once-familiar letdown over her failure to wind up with Bobby, she thought of Cord. “Actually I found something even better. I'll tell you all about him when I see you.”

“If there's someone special in your life, why the hell are you coming back here?” Ray asked incredulously.

“Because I need to.”

“But it's not forever, right?” he asked. “That is what you're telling me. You're not going to get back over here and turn into that driven, single-minded woman who let ambition overrule her common sense?”

“No,” she said slowly. “This isn't about ambition, Ray. It's just about regaining my self-respect. It's probably best not to tell the network that, but I owe it to you to
be honest. It's not forever. A few months, a year at the outside. Can you live with that?”

“How about I ask them for a six-month commitment? Then we can all decide where to go from there? That ought to be the kind of win-win situation they can live with.”

Only six months, Dinah thought, oddly dismayed. Her old contract, the one she'd walked away from, had been for three years with built-in extensions the network had always been eager to exercise. The short-term deal Ray was suggesting was proof that she really was going to have to prove herself all over again to everyone. But given the circumstances, it was a fair deal. And it would get her back to Cord that much more quickly if things worked out the way she expected them to.

“Six months sounds good,” she said at last.

“Then I'll make some calls and get back to you later,” Ray promised, then cautioned, “Don't set your hopes too high. There's always a chance they won't go for it, Dinah. The new VP for news is a tough guy who's trying to make his own mark and you burned some serious bridges on the way out.”

“But your word will count for a lot. If you want me back, they'll listen,” she said, needing to believe that.

“Up to a point,” he agreed, then hesitated. “I know this one will hurt, Dinah, but if they want to see you in person, see for themselves that you're ready to work again, are you willing to fly up to New York?”

As Ray had obviously anticipated, Dinah chafed at the implication that her past performance wasn't recommendation enough. Maybe she should have called her old agent, after all, and let him handle this negotiation, but she hadn't seen the need for it. Besides, she'd burned that bridge too, when she'd quit so unceremoniously. She
bit back her instinctive huffy retort and said only, “I'll do whatever I need to do, Ray. I'm anxious for this to work.”

“Okay, then. We'll make it happen,” he said more confidently.

“Thank you.”

“Don't thank me. Who the hell would thank someone for helping them put their life on the line?”

He hung up on her before she could respond.

 

Cord regarded Dinah with dismay as he listened to her end of a conversation she was having on her cell phone. She'd been nervous all evening, evidently waiting for this call. Now he understood why. There was no question about what was going on. She was taking off on him. She was going back to work, back to that hellhole, just as he'd feared.

When she finally disconnected the call, she hesitated for a long time before meeting his gaze. “You heard?”

He nodded. “You're going back,” he said flatly.

“Please try to understand,” she said, her pleading gaze locked with his. “You said it yourself, this is something I need to do.”

It made him sick when he thought about it, but he resigned himself to the inevitability of it. “When will you go?”

“Two weeks,” she told him. “They need to make some decisions, figure out who to move around, assign me a new photographer. It'll take that long to work out the details.”

“I see.”

She crossed the room and slipped onto his lap, then rested her hand against his cheek. “Please don't be fu
rious with me, Cordell. This isn't about me not being happy with you.”

“I know that and I'm not furious,” he said, trying to pin a label on what he was feeling. “I guess I'm disappointed, but I told you I would support whatever you decided, so I can hardly take it back now.”

“It's not forever,” she told him. “That's the deal. It's just for six months with one possible extension. That's it.”

“So, we're talking a year at the outside?”

She nodded.

“What if it gets your adrenaline pumping the way it used to?”

She looked everywhere but directly into his eyes. “I don't know,” she said at last. “I don't think that's going to happen, but I can't promise it won't.”

Cord bit back the desire to curse a blue streak at her naivete. The stupid job had consumed her for ten years. It had become her life. They both knew it would turn out that way again. He had lost…again.

Worse, he had no one to blame but himself this time. He'd actually been stupid enough to encourage this folly.

Still, he forced one of his trademark wicked grins. “Then I guess we'd better make these next two weeks count.” He intended to store up enough memories for a lifetime.

 

Time slipped away far too quickly, and Cord's level of frustration grew. As intimate as he and Dinah had be come, he still had this nagging feeling that there was more to her decision to go back than she'd ever shared with him. Maybe if he understood what it was, he could make peace with her decision, but every time
he'd broached the subject, she'd shut down on him. He had to wonder if all those sessions with Warren had really gotten to the bottom of things, after all.