The Bad Luck Wedding Night, Bad Luck Wedding series #5 (Bad Luck Abroad trilogy) (40 page)

Chambers only shrugged.

Sarah said, "He's given up, Nick, and he's leaving England on the morning tide."

"No, I don't believe he is. He's a criminal and he's going to pay for his crimes."

"What crimes?"

"Kidnapping, for one."

Sarah's chin came up. "He didn't kidnap me. I went with him voluntarily."

Why, the bold-faced little liar. She
still
had a soft spot for this blackguard. Nick narrowed his eyes and snapped, "I have an entire list of others. Illegal importing of skunks. Conspiracy to commit... stink."

A burst of laughter escaped his bride. "I'd like to see you bring that one before a court. You'd have to arrest half of London."

"Damnation, Sarah."

"Oh, calm down, Lord Weston. Calm down and use your brain. Stop thinking like a man. We need to decide what we're going to do about Trevor, and you can't have him arrested for fouling London air."

Calm down? Stop thinking like a man?
Fury pulsed through his veins. "I know what I'm going to do about Trevor, To use a Texas term, I intend to beat the tar out of him, then turn him over to Kimball and the Special Branch."

"You can't."

"Just watch me."

"Please, Nick. He has to leave England, and that is punishment enough. You know that. He swears he'll never set foot here ever again, right, Trevor?"

"That's right."

"You understand his frustration. You understand—"

Suddenly, Nick had had enough of old Trevor. "I understand I'm becoming exceptionally weary of your defense of that man. Chambers, sit down!"

The man recoiled from the menace in Nick's tone and did as he'd been bid. Nick picked up one of the fine bedsheets, tore at the edge with his teeth, then ripped it in two and again into quarters, which he used as ropes to tightly bind Chambers's wrists and ankles.

"Nick," Sarah protested. "There's a rope...."

He shot her a glare. "Not. One. Word."

After testing his knots, he straightened and seriously debated the notion of clipping Lord Lovesick's jaw to knock him out. He decided he'd better not.

Rage boiled within him. He might accidentally strike a killing blow. Which might not be an accident at all.

He settled for leaning down and whispering ugly threats in the ear of the bastard who'd kidnapped his wife, and as Chambers sat shuddering in fear, Nick grabbed Sarah by the arm and tugged her to the far side of the warehouse to give them some privacy.

There, he braced his hands on his hips and demanded, "Why, Sarah? The man kidnapped you. He put me and my sisters and your friends through hell. Why are you defending him?"

For a long moment she held herself still as a stone. Then she drew a deep breath, exhaled in a rush, and said, "Because he reminds me of you, Nick."

"Excuse me?"

"It's true. Trevor is so much like you, the old you. The Nick Ross I married ten years ago. Remember him? He was the Nick who had lost his home and family. He was the young man so lonely, so hungry to replace what he had lost, so desperate to fill the emptiness inside him that he married a girl he didn't love."

The blow held twice the force as that which he'd loosed on Chambers. Nick dragged a hand down his jaw, licked his dry lips, and said gruffly, "I loved you."

"No, Nick, you didn't."

His heartbeat thumped. His frustration stirred. Chambers let out a groan, and Nick shoved his fingers through his hair. "Damnation, lass. Don't tell me how I felt. I loved you when I married you. Maybe not as much as I do now, but I did love you."

This time she was the one reeling from a verbal blow. "What? What did you say?"

"I said, don't tell me how I felt."

"Not that part. The other part. The
now
part."

Nick grimaced and attempted a retreat. "I don't think this is an appropriate time for this particular discussion. Your friends and my family followed me here determined to join the search. One of them is liable to check this warehouse any minute."

"I don't care if Queen Victoria arrives, I want to have this discussion here and now. You can't toss out something that profound and leave it lying between us like a... like a..."

"Skunk?"

She responded with a droll look and silence. He scowled. Surrendered. "Oh, all right. I love you, Sarah."

She took a step backward, slumped against a crate. Bewilderment painted her face. "You've never said it before."

Annoyance rippled through Nick. She didn't have to look so surprised. He exhaled a harsh, frustrated breath. "Maybe I was waiting for you to say it first. You're the one who is being stubborn about agreeing to make a go of this marriage. A man does have his pride, you know."

"Oh. Well."

" 'Oh. Well?' " He braced his hands on his hips and loomed over her. "That's all you have to say?"

Now she was the one licking dry lips. "I suppose you want to know how I feel about you."

"The thought did occur, yes."

Her complexion took on a greenish tint that stirred panic in Nick's soul
. She doesn't...

"I do."

He waited a beat. "Do what?"

"Love you." She swallowed hard. "I love you, too."

He froze like a stone. "Say it again."

Now a smile fluttered at her lips. "I love you, Nick."

Sunlight burst across the darkness of Nick's lonely soul. A smile began in his heart and worked its way slowly to his lips. "Thank God."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, long and lovingly. He kissed her with joy, with promise, and with passion. When they finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers, and said softly, "You won't be sorry, Sarah. We'll have a good life, I promise. You'll like it here in England."

She pulled away, gazed up at him with worry clouding her eyes, and Nick got a bad feeling in his stomach.

* * *

Sarah's stomach rolled and pitched so much she thought she might just throw up. Desire ran heavy and hot within her, and her woman's core felt empty and aching. But it was her heart that gave her the most trouble at the moment. The coppery sensation of fear had her heart firmly in its grip.

"Nick... about my staying. I'm not... I don't..."

He took a long step back. Cautiously, he asked, "You don't what?"

She fumbled for the words and ended up with a weak, "I need more time."

Frustration flashed in his eyes. "Damnation, Sarah! Why are you saying this? I don't understand. I love you. You love me. Shouldn't that take care of all the questions?"

"One would think so, yes. But love didn't exactly solve our problems last time, did it?"

"That was different." He exhaled loudly. "We were little more than children then. We didn't know how to make compromises. I was wrong to ask you to leave with me on such short notice, and I know seeing me with Susan Harris complicated matters. But if we'd been more honest with each other and compromised, been flexible, we could have made it work. Now we have a second chance. We can make our marriage work this time around."

Sarah wasn't so certain, and she fought to find the words to explain. "I don't know if I believe that love can overcome everything."

Again he raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. "We can work something out about where we live. I'm willing to spend time in Texas every year, although I'd prefer it not to be the summer. It's compromise, Sarah. That's all. Love and a willingness to compromise."

"Oh, Nick." Despair washed through her in waves. "The prospect of living in England isn't nearly as daunting as it once was. The McBrides' visit has proven to me that distance need not mean the end of special friendships. They may require a little extra care to maintain, but anything worthwhile deserves an investment of time. It's the rest of it—"

He waited. When she didn't speak, he prodded, "Rest of what? Is it the title? Are you still afraid to take your place in Society as a marchioness?"

"No, I'm comfortable with that now, too. The wedding festivities have shown me I can hold my own in that particular shark pool."

"In that case, I don't see what is still holding you back. I have to tell you I find that both perplexing and annoying. Please explain yourself."

"I'm trying," she snapped.

"Try harder," he snarled back. "I'm a good man, Sarah, but I'm at the end of my patience."

She pushed past him and began to pace, trying to find the words to express the emotions in her heart. She didn't blame him for losing patience with her. She was fed up with herself.

"Sarah, I'm waiting. What's wrong? Is it me? Did I do—"

The challenge in his tone was enough to fan her temper and loosen her tongue. "It's not you. Nothing is wrong with you. You're perfect! That's the problem. You're a wonderful husband and a wonderful brother and I'm sure that someday you'll be a wonderful father. You're handsome and intelligent and kind and just wicked enough to be interesting. You're an excellent friend, a savvy spy, a loyal and dedicated servant of your queen. The only bad thing about you is, you have a tendency to be bossy, and that is something I can just ignore."

"Thank you, I think. So what, pray tell, is the problem here?"

"It's
me."
Realization of the truth was a blow to the heart that shattered it into little pieces.
"I'm
the problem, Nick. I don't think I can be the wife you deserve."

"What nonsense is this?"

"It's not nonsense. It's the truth. Something is wrong with me as a woman. I don't... I don't like sexual relations, and you are too much a man to be content with a woman who doesn't enjoy the physical aspect of marriage. You'd never be happy with me, not in the long term. You'd find someone else who could give you what you need in that respect, and that would break my heart."

Nick turned his head away and muttered a dozen different invectives, each more colorful and more base than the last. But it was his final comment that offended her the most.

"If that's not by far the most idiotic, feebleminded, insanely stupid thing I have ever heard a woman say. And I've heard plenty of women say plenty of ridiculous things."

She stiffened. "Well, pardon me."

"I damn well won't. Not as long as you are repeating such utter nonsense."

"It's not nonsense. I don't like sex."

"Liar." He braced his hands on his hips and leaned forward. "I seduced you with the Pillow Book and you liked it. You sure as hell liked what I did to you in the garden at Charlotte's ball."

"That wasn't sex."

"It wasn't?" He smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Fancy that. Here I've gone all these years thinking I knew what sex was."

"You know what I mean."

He snapped his fingers. "Oh, you mean no ride up the cockloft. Of course. The expression of love doesn't count if a man doesn't dip his spoon and give his gravy."

"Don't be vulgar."

"You're the one being vulgar, Sarah. I made love with you, and you liked it. You loved it. Saying you didn't is the lie."

"I'm not lying," she insisted, a sob in her voice. "I'm trying to tell you my deepest feelings, my deepest fears, and you aren't listening. You're laughing at me."

"That's because your fears and feelings are so damned insulting!" Anger blazed, but deep within himself, Nick felt a core of cold, bitter hurt. He halfway suspected if he looked down, he'd see a knife buried in his chest. "In saying you are not woman enough for me, you're telling me I am not man enough for
you."

"No, Nick."

"You don't trust me to be man enough to show you you're a woman. You claim to love me, but you don't believe in me."

"That's not true."

"Then prove it. I dare you. Here. Now. Lord Lovesick has graciously provided a mattress. Let's throw him and the skunks out of here and put it to use. I'll make you scream your pleasure, Lady Weston. Damned if I won't."

Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she wrapped her arms around herself "No, Nick. Don't."

God, he felt like crying himself. His chest heaved with the force of the breaths he took. He clenched his jaw, glared at his wife. Felt ill.

"Come to think of it, perhaps you're right," he said, his voice furiously flat "Perhaps you're not enough woman for me. A woman worthy of the love I am aching to give her would be willing to follow me into fire, much less the marriage bed. Perhaps you've been right all along. Perhaps we're not suited. Perhaps we should see this annulment done and you should just go back to Texas."

Unable to look at her any longer, he turned away and attempted to force his attention back to Lord Chambers and the problem he presented the Crown. He'd covered half the distance between where he'd left Sarah and where Chambers sat tied, when he heard the surprising sound of his sister Aurora's happy shout. "Here they are, Mrs. McBride. In here. Nick has found her!"

After that, chaos reigned.

The entire Texas contingent and Nick's sisters streamed into the warehouse. Shouts and screeches of joy echoed through the building as the females reunited with hugs and dances, laughter and giggles. Nick observed the exchange with a bittersweet ache in his heart and wondered about the circumstances that allowed the women to be here in the warehouse district rather than safely at home.