“What do I smell of?” she asked, while the other part of her mind concentrated on Tom's hand on her thigh.
“Mmmm,” he inhaled deeply, “some kind of flowers I think. I loves it.” His fingers had undone her blouse and one of her soft breasts spilled out into his large callused hand. “Oh Jesus â God,” Tom swore softly, forgetting his strict religious principles. “They're the most perfect things I ever saw. Can I kiss them?” He bent his head and his tongue touched the tip of her nipple.
A flash of fire ripped through Jennie such as she had never known. Tom had never gone that far before, and she was unprepared for the intensity of feeling that his tongue generated.
She tried to push him away. “Tom,” she said shakily. “Tom! I never knew that it would be like this. No one told me.” She laughed. “Sure I'm losing the strength out of my legs.”
Tom slid his hands back up her body and buried his face in her hair. He pressed into her and she could feel his stiffness. He laughed low in his throat. “I knows somethin' that the strength is gonna take a long while to go out of, Jennie, and it sure ain't my legs.”
Jennie thought she heard someone around the other side of the shed. She hushed Tom. As she buttoned up her blouse, she whispered, “All right, I promise you that we'll do it. We'll meet up on the hill.” Jennie looked up into his earnest face and giggled nervously. “Think you can last until tomorrow night?”
As they walked up the track in the dark, Tom firmly attached his large hand to one cheek of Jennie's round backside, establishing his ownership.
All the next day Jennie went about as if she were in a fever. From the moment she got up in the morning, graphic pictures kept popping into her head â his brown hair bent over her breast, his hands cupping her face, his body pushing against her. Once, as she was putting cans of beans on the shelf at Plotsky's, she had to stop and sit down when fire seared right through her.
That evening she washed herself all over, paying particular attention to her armpits and between her legs. She dressed in her best underwear and her new lacy bra.
The moon was full when they met on the back of the hill. Tom was there first, sitting with his arms around his knees. Jennie stood for a moment looking at him. Oh how she loved this man. And now she was giving him what Mam called her most precious gift. But she was giving it willingly, was even in a hurry to give it. Some girls said that the first time hurt, but Jennie was so in love, so anxious to try it, to experience those new sensations, that she didn't care.
“Tom,” she said softly.
He looked up. “Jennie. Come sit down.”
The night was quiet and still. Side by side, they sat and looked down on the great Exploits River. “Jennie. Have you changed your mind? You can, you know. I won't be mad.” He gently took her hand.
“Tom. Shut up talking and kiss me right now.” She turned and, taking his shoulders, dragged him down on top of her.
They went down in the sweet grass together. The last words Jennie heard were, “I promise not to hurt you.”
Later that night, lying alone in her bed at home, Jennie thought about what they'd done and how natural it had seemed.
I forgot to be scared. The other girls were wrong. There was no hurting. Then we did it a second time. It was wonderful. And we laughed together on the way up the track. Tom said “My jumpin's, Jennie, I dare say we put twins in you that time
.”
It was wonderful to be in love. Summer turned to fall and when it got too cold up on the back of the hill they moved into the old A.N.D. Company barns, where the work horses were kept. Inside the barns they couldn't see the stars, but they made their own stars on those nights together.
One evening after supper Jennie told her Mam the news while they were washing dishes. “Mam, I think I'm in the family way.” She couldn't look her mother in the face, but stared down at the soapy water in the dishpan.
Mam was drying a plate. It fell out of her hands and to the floor. For some reason it didn't break and Jennie thought maybe that was a good sign.
But Mam's eyes were filled with tears as she went over to the chair and sat down. “Oh Jennie, what have you gone and done?” Her tears ran unchecked down her cheeks as she gazed unseeingly at the plate on the floor. “Please don't tell me it is that Pentecostal boy in on Halls Bay Road. Tell me it's a fine, upstanding Catholic boy like Vern.” Mam was looking for one last hope.
Mam must be crazy to think I would have anything to do with Vern,
thought Jennie. “Sure Mam, you know it's Tom. We've been going out now for ages. And I loves him. We want to get married. You knows that.” Jennie dried off her hands and went over and knelt in front of her mother.
“But what's the priest going to say? It's a mortal sin, you know, Jennie.”
“There's no reason to be so upset. I'm still the same Jennie. Nothing's changed.” But Jennie could see that Mam didn't believe her.
Bridey Sullivan was a strong woman, and when her daughter said she was expecting a baby, Bridey knew there had to be a marriage.
A child born out of wedlock had no chance in a world where people would call it a bastard.
In bed a couple of nights later, when Ned went to blow out the lamp for the night, Bridey stopped him. “We needs to talk, Ned.”
“Can't it wait for morning? I'm fair beat out.”
“No, this is the best time. All the children are asleep.” She propped her pillow up against the headboard and took a deep breath. “Ned, you're going to have to speak to Albert Hillier and tell him that his son Tom has your daughter put in the family way. The Blessed Virgin only knows that I can't talk to Suze Hillier. She wouldn't give me the time of day.”
“What? Jesus Christ, Bridey! That young son of a bitch of a Tom Hillier! How'd that happen?” Ned felt shocked and angry enough to seek out Tom and kill him on the spot.
Bridey calmed him down. “Listen b'y, this happens to many women; they gets caught before they're married. Just because Jennie is your daughter don't mean she's any different.” She moved over in the bed to lay her head against his arm. “You knows that everyone does it on the sly. We did, or have you forgotten how hot you were to get inside my bloomers?” She laughed. “And you're still hot to get in there.”
Ned looked at her and grinned, his anger waning. They both had great memories of their younger years together. “All right, Bridey, all right. I'll speak to his father tomorrow.” He blew out the lamp. “Now go to sleep.”
The next day, Ned went down to the station to see Albert.
Albert was a mild-mannered man who attended to his station master duties with rimless glasses perched on the top of his nose. “Good day to you, Ned. How've you been keeping?” he asked as he peered at Ned over his glasses.
“I'm doing all right, b'y,” Ned replied. “If you can spare me a few minutes sometime today, I'd like to have a private chat with you about our two children.”
“Ah, so it's come to that,” Albert sighed. “I must say, Ned b'y, I'm not surprised. Tom and his mother have had a few words over him seeing your daughter, you know.”
“Yes, Albert, the same thing has being going on at our house. I wish children would stick to their own kind. This marrying into other religions causes some fuss for the parents.”
“Yep, it sure does,” Albert answered, as he picked up his train schedule sheet. “Let me see now . . . I haven't got a train coming for another four hours. Why don't we take a little stroll together?”
Jennie was terrified. Mam had told her that Pap had spoken to Tom's father and that he had invited Albert, Suze and Tom to have a cup of tea together at the Sullivan's.
Mam was a bundle of nerves. She had the girls drove crazy as she made them clean and shine everything in sight. “Got to measure up to Suze Hillier's house,” she muttered, even though she had never been inside it.
The Hillier family arrived. Jennie could see that Mam was quite in awe of Suze's fox fur stole that she wore around her neck and shoulders. The stole was complete with beady eyes, dangling paws and bushy tail. It was some kind of status symbol for Suze, who wore it on any occasion possible, summer or winter. For a moment, Jennie's stout heart quailed as she beheld Suze's countenance, black as thunder above the animal fur.
Jennie and Mam served tea. Suze never touched the tea, she never smiled nor spoke and her lips were pursed up as if she smelled a bad odour. Only Albert and Ned were at ease as they chatted away over their tea and sandwiches. Tom sat next to his mother and kept offering her a piece of cake, a sandwich, more hot tea to replace the cooling cup that she hadn't touched, all to no avail. Finally he cleared his throat, stood up, and put his hands on the table. Jennie went to stand beside him. “Me and Jennie wants to get married,” he said before anyone could interrupt. “Jennie's in the family way.” Their parents had already been told this, but Jennie and Tom felt it needed to be said again in front of everyone.
Jennie noticed how not one person sitting at the table would
look them in the eye. They were all staring at their sandwiches and cooling tea. Mr. Albert was the first to look up and speak. He told them that they were welcome to come and live with them until they built a place of their own. Jennie glanced once again at Suze but still she didn't speak, or look up. Her lips seemed to be pursed even tighter and the fox's beady eyes gleamed.
Once Mr. Albert had spoken, Mam got up and started to bustle around clearing up the table. Pap sat back and filled his pipe with baccy and offered some to Albert, commenting on how adding a slice of apple to the pouch provided moisture and added a nice flavour to the smoke. Mr. Albert graciously declined, saying he and Suze had to be getting on and that they would be in touch.
And then the two families planned a wedding.
Jennie said she wanted her oldest sister to stand for her. Tom said that his mother wasn't fussy about having too many Catholics present. But Jennie was firm. No sister to stand up for her, no wedding. Tom was quick enough to change his tune then.