The Baker's Man (18 page)

“All done,” Anna said as she lifted the last box into her arms. “I’ll carry this over to the bakery, and then I’ll come back for the cardboard.”

Eli took the box from her hands. He placed it on one of the back tables. “You don’t have to take it right now. The fireworks will be starting soon.”

Anna looked over her shoulder as if Tessa might arrive any second. She picked up the box again. “That’s okay,” she said. “You enjoy them. I can see the show from the bakery when it starts.”

Eli shook his head and took the box from her hands. His fingers brushed hers, and her stomach tingled as though embers kindled inside her. “Stay here with me,” he said.

This is it
. She felt a rush like butterflies shivering inside her body, lifting her up, causing her chest to swell. She opened her mouth and exhaled. “Eli,” she said and paused. Words tangled inside her mind, and they struggled to find her tongue. “Thanks for helping me,” she said instead of what she meant to say.

“I like helping you,” he said.

It’s now or never
.
Rip it off like a Band-Aid
. “Eli, I…” Her tongue dried and stuck to her teeth. She tried to swallow. When Anna looked up at him, she felt dizzy with emotion. She pressed one hand to his chest to anchor herself, but warmth spread up her fingertips, her arm, and burned up her spine. She felt his heartbeat beneath her hand.

Eli placed his hand over hers. “You what?” he asked, his voice low and expectant.

Anna blinked. “I’m in love with you,” she whispered, her legs trembling. “I know you like Tessa, but I wanted to tell you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way—”

Before Anna could inhale, Eli leaned down, slid one hand onto her cheek, and kissed her. There was no hesitation in the kiss like Anna always encountered during first kisses. She knew without a doubt he wanted to kiss her, and once they started, she was captured, unwilling to stop. She arched into Eli, pulled toward him like a planet to its sun, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Anna felt her blood pumping through her limbs, felt her heart slamming against her ribs, felt the heat melting her like sugar. Eli slid one hand around her waist and held her against him.

The cold wind whipped past them, became caught up in their heat, and created swirling vortexes that collapsed a few tents down the street. Flames shot prematurely from the igniter and lit the wick of the first firework before anyone was prepared. It rocketed into the night sky and exploded, raining blue and green twinkling lights over Anna and Eli. The crowd clapped and hooted, thinking the show had begun. More fireworks followed, echoing explosions that mingled with the collective sighs of the townsfolk, and Anna kept kissing Eli because she couldn’t stop.

“What the hell is going on?”

Eli pulled away, and Anna swayed on her feet. Silver fireworks shaped like giant stars filled the sky and fell away toward the treetops. The smoky haze shifted in her brain, and she pressed her lips together, still feeling the burn of Eli’s kiss. Two blurry faces came into focus.

“Baron,” Anna said. All the sweetness pooling around her and Eli was swept away in the next assaulting wind, which left behind a rawness.

Tessa stood beside Baron. Her mouth dropped open in shock. Baron stepped toward them with his hands open, palms facing front.

“What the
hell
is going on?” he repeated.

“You’re home early,” Anna said. Yellow fireworks exploded in rapid succession and lit their faces with golden light.

“I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t realize I’d be interrupting,” Baron said, not taking his eyes off Eli.

Electricity crackled off Baron, and the hairs on Anna’s arm rose in alarm. Baron cursed under his breath, fisted his hands at his sides, and lunged for Eli. Anna jumped between them and used all her energy to shove Baron backward. Tessa grabbed Baron’s arm and pulled him away from Eli.

“Baron, stop,” Anna said. “
Please
.”

Baron shook Anna and Tessa off him, glared at Eli, and then curled his lip at Anna. “I can’t believe you would do this to me,” he said, and then he stalked off.

Anna cast a glance at Eli over her shoulder. White lights sparkled in the sky like glowing rain. He nodded his head once, and Anna chased after Baron.

˜˜˜˜

Baron stopped on the corner a block over. He rested his hand against the lamppost and hung his head. That was the only reason Anna caught up with him. Her breath rushed out in hot puffs of air.

“Baron,” she said. She saw his shoulders tense, but he didn’t turn to look at her. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be,” he said.

On the next gush of wind, Anna smelled the salty sea. Baron turned and shoved both hands into his messy hair. He shook his head and kicked his shoes against the sidewalk. A cluster of fireworks burst overhead, one inside another, each one bigger than the one before.

“You said he was your friend,” Baron said. “You lied.”

“I didn’t lie,” Anna said, hazarding a step closer to him. Anger and confusion hovered around Baron like smoke. Anna’s body vibrated with uncertainty. “That’s the first time anything like that has happened.”

Baron threw his hands up into the air. “I’m so lucky to have caught the one-time event.” His sarcasm burned across her skin.

“I said I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t make it better, but I can’t change what happened,” she said, already feeling the acrid sting of guilt in her throat. She pictured Tessa’s shocked face. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Convenient how I go out of town for a week, and you get to pretend you don’t have a boyfriend. Did you even think about how this would make me feel?”

Tears stung Anna’s eyes, and her heart thudded painfully against the cage of her chest. She pressed a hand to her breastbone. Like taffy stretched too far and too thin, she pulled apart in the middle. Flashes of red in the sky turned her tears to rubies rolling down her cheeks. Anger splintered inside her.

“Are you joking?” she asked, and the words sounded jagged and sharp. “You took a job in
California
. In case you didn’t realize it, that’s across the country from here. You never once thought about me. You didn’t care how it would make me feel. As far as I can tell, you’re going to pack your bags and leave me, and that means our relationship is over.”

Anna’s words flew from her lips like poison-tipped arrows intent on piercing Baron in the chest. He took a few steps back under the assault and stared at her in disbelief. He looked like he wanted to argue her point, but he couldn’t.

After a long pause, he said, “You’re right.” His voice was quiet, barely audible over the explosions of fireworks booming overhead and echoing down the streets. He looked up at her. “I didn’t think of our future. I don’t know what that means.”

“It means we don’t have one.” The words caught in her throat and tangled around a sob. She wiped at her eyes.

“I need some time,” Baron said. “I didn’t expect to come home to this.”

“This won’t even be your home for much longer,” she said.

“No, it won’t.” He shrugged, shoved his hands into his pockets, and walked away, leaving Anna standing alone in the flickering lamplight.

˜˜˜˜

Anna walked toward the bakery, watching the fireworks paint the empty street in throbbing kaleidoscope colors. She wrapped her arms around her chest, trying to hold on to the escaping warmth. Releasing a shuddering breath, she fished the bakery’s keys out of her pocket. Her fingers trembled, and the keys fell to the sidewalk. When Anna bent over to pick them up, she heard Eli’s voice, and he sounded angry.

Anna straightened so fast she sidestepped off the curb. Eli strode up the street with Tessa struggling to keep up with him. She said something that Anna couldn’t hear, and Eli stopped abruptly. Tessa slammed into his arm. The string lights flickered and popped.

“Tessa, please, stop following me. I mean it,” Eli said.

Tessa grabbed Eli’s arm. “Don’t be angry with me,” she begged. “We can talk about this.”

Silver fireworks exploded in time with Anna’s pulsing heart.
Boom, boom, boom
. Tessa’s face was illuminated in ghastly light.

Eli pried Tessa’s hand from his arm. “You’ve said enough,” he said. “Don’t follow me.” His voice was resolute, and when he started walking again, Tessa stood and watched him go.

As Eli neared Anna, the asphalt grew hot beneath her shoes. Bulbs burst in the string lights, and half the street slipped into darkness. A stifling oven-hot wind slammed into Anna and filled her lungs with dry, burning air. Anna wasn’t sure if Eli even saw her standing in the shadows outside the bakery until he stopped a few yards from her.

“Open the door,” he demanded.

Anna unlocked the bakery, and Eli pushed inside ahead of her. She glanced down the street and saw Tessa was still standing there. The firework finale filled the sky with burst after burst, pounding the night air like a hundred bass drums. Smoke covered the stars and twirled in the sky, caught in an unseasonal wind that created swirling, dancing pinwheels. Anna looked away and stepped into the dark bakery.

Eli turned on the light in the kitchen, and Anna hesitated before following him. The entire room emitted a low hum that caused the pans to rattle on the shelves.

“Show it to me,” Eli said.

Anna stood in the archway. “Show what to you?”

Eli’s palms were flat on the kitchen island, and he stared at his fingers. “The gypsy sand.” Then he pushed off the island and turned to her. “Or tell me it isn’t real. Just tell me that Tessa is a nice girl but a liar.”

A tremble started low in Anna’s legs and shook her all the way to her scalp.
Tessa
. Anna opened her mouth to explain, but nothing came out. She pressed her hands together to keep them from shaking, but her entire body vibrated like a tuning fork slapped against a tree.

Eli shook his head. “No, Anna,” he said. “No, no,
no
. Don’t tell me that you created me.” He stormed over to the oven and flung open the door. “
In there
. Don’t tell me I came out of
that
.” Eli’s blue eyes were narrowed and flecked with anguish. He slammed his fist against the island. “I’m not some
thing
, Anna.”

Anna’s hands found her mouth. Tears spilled over her lids and rolled down her fingertips. “You’re not a thing,” she said when she lowered her hands. “You’re not.”

“Then what the hell am I?” he asked in a breakable, angry voice. “Did you
create
me?”

Anna could barely breathe around the splintering in her chest. More tears rolled down her cheeks. “Yes.”

He clenched his jaw and shook his head, unwilling to accept her answer. “Show me the sand.”

Anna knew it wasn’t a request. She stumbled up the stairs toward her apartment with Eli on her heels. She switched on the light in her bedroom and crouched on the floor. Anna pulled out the rusted tin box and held it out for Eli with shaking hands. He turned the key and inhaled loudly through his nose when he flipped open the lid. He shoved one hand into the dust, and it shimmered on his fingers, skittered up his arm, and disappeared into his skin. He dropped the box onto the bed, scattering sand across her quilt.

Eli backed away toward the door. His blue eyes were wide and heartbreaking. Anna stood and held out a hand toward him. He seemed to look straight through her.

“None of this is real,” he said in disbelief.

“That’s not true,” Anna argued.

“Why?” he asked. “Why did you make me?”

Anna swallowed and averted her gaze. “I was sad about Baron, and Lily thought it would be a good idea for me to make the perfect man for myself. We didn’t think it would work.”

Eli released a bitter laugh. “Tessa wanted to prove she was telling the truth by asking me questions about my past. Do you know what my entire past consists of?” he asked. “You. Just
you
.” He pressed his fisted hands against his chest. “I have all this love for you, and it isn’t even
real
. I don’t even know what the hell I
am
.” He dug a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket and tossed it onto her bed. “Another lie,” he said.

Anna reached for the paper. She unfolded a note written in her hand.

Dearest Elijah,

If you ever knock on my door, I promise that I will love you forever. You are the perfect man for me. If you never knock on my door, I will regretfully never experience true love.

Always and Devotedly Yours,

Anna O’Brien

The letter looked like it had been folded and unfolded a thousand times. Her candy note written to a ball of dough had become a real love letter. She looked up at him and pressed the letter to her chest.

“I do love you, Eli,” she said. Her throat closed tight with sadness.

His blue eyes began to water and shine in the light. “I’m not even human,” he said in a voice so quiet Anna found herself leaning toward him. “You can’t love a monster.” He turned and walked out.

“Eli,” she called.

Eli stopped, hand resting on her doorknob. Anna wanted to run to him, throw her arms around him, prove to him that her love was real. But Eli opened the door and walked out saying, “Do us both a favor and let me go.”

Anna crumpled onto the hardwood and cried into her hands.

14
Blood Orange Sauce

Anna gathered the spilled golden sand from her comforter in small handfuls and dropped it into the tin box. Then she brushed the remaining grains onto the wooded floor where they sparkled like miniature jewels. She closed the box and rubbed her fingers across the rust-spotted lid.

The tea in the red kettle whispered for a few seconds before it became a loud whistle. She cradled the box in her arms, walked into the living room, and placed the box on the coffee table. Then, she shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed for the kettle’s handle as she turned off the burner. She poured the steaming liquid over the peppermint tea bag resting in the bottom of her mug. Anna bounced the tea bags up and down in the water and crossed the small space to the bay window. She curled up, bringing her knees to her chest, and stared out the windows into the night.