The Beach Wedding (Married in Malibu Book 1) (4 page)

J
ason’s house
was a gorgeous oceanfront contemporary on two levels, with large windows to catch the sun and blooming flowers everywhere. “I’m so glad you’ve decided to do this,” he said as he led her through the house.

“It was a close call,” Liz replied. Even though there was no denying what a big deal Amber’s wedding was for the new wedding venue, a part of her still wanted him to know how difficult it was for her to see him again like this. “Fortunately, everyone at Married in Malibu is prepared to do whatever it takes to give Amber and Robert the perfect wedding day. Especially me.”

Jason didn’t reply, but from the intense look he gave her, she guessed he must be feeling the same way. “I have things set up in the kitchen. We’ll Skype with Amber, and that way she can let you know everything she wants.”

The house was expensively but simply furnished, its contemporary lines softened by several pieces of antique furniture. The kitchen was modern and sleek, a vision in white and chrome. But the table at the far end was far more rustic, a deep mahogany—where it could be seen between the sheaves of paper that covered it. There was a laptop there, too, along with an array of Post-It notes.

“You still like to work in the kitchen,” Liz said softly. She remembered that he’d always wanted to be able to get coffee easily, or to be nearby while they were cooking something in a pot on the stove, simultaneously letting ideas simmer in his brain. The number of times a meal had burned because he’d hit on a great idea for a scene just as he was meant to be watching over it…

“Sitting here, looking out over the ocean, makes for a great place to come up with ideas and inspiration.”

“I can believe that,” Liz said. She’d always wanted a view like this. Her little garden cottage was wonderful, but this was the oceanfront place she’d always dreamed about.

Jason had clearly done very well for himself, just as Liz had hoped he would. When she’d broken up with him, his first book had been out with publishers and agents, trying to catch their attention in a world where so many others were trying to catch their attention, too. But Liz had read his manuscripts, and she’d known just how good he was. He’d deserved to succeed. And he had—spectacularly so.

“I’ve read all your books,” Liz suddenly needed him to know. They were dotted around the chaotic mess of her bookshelves at home, and she’d read most of them more than once. On dark, rainy nights, his books were always the ones that called to her. She could never resist delving into the magnificent worlds he’d created from his imagination.

“All of them?” He sounded…actually, Liz wasn’t sure. Impressed? Surprised? Maybe even happy that she hadn’t stopped reading his books just because they weren’t together anymore? “There are quite a few of them now.”

“I know,” Liz said, unable to hold back her smile. “I’m running out of shelf space. They’re good. Really good.”

Jason’s answering smile lit up the room, the first real smile he’d given her. One that made her knees go weak, just the way it always had. “I didn’t think you were a big fan of thrillers.”

“I’m not unless you’re the one writing them.” Her heart fluttered at the gorgeous picture Jason made against the backdrop of the ocean. “Of course I’m going to read your books.”

“I simply try to write what I’m feeling.”

She already knew that, because there was so much of him in everything he’d written. In the place of his heroes, regardless of their physical description, Liz always pictured Jason, his voice came through so clearly on every page.

She was acutely aware of how close they were standing. Close enough that she could have so easily reached out to touch him. Just one more step forward and she could be in his arms again with his mouth pressed against her—

Just then, Jason’s computer signaled that a call was coming through. As Liz all but jumped back from him, she found that she could breathe more easily again. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath as she gazed at him and daydreamed of kissing him.

“That’s Amber,” Jason said, and while he was obviously happy to hear from his niece, there was a tiny hint of something else beneath his expression. Disappointment, maybe, that she hadn’t actually stepped into his arms?

Jason gestured for Liz to take a seat while he arranged his computer so that the camera could view both of them. They had to sit so close that she caught the scent of his aftershave, woodsy and a little smoky, just the way she remembered.

Amber’s face appeared on the screen. Jason’s niece was incredibly beautiful, and it was easy to see the resemblance between them. The same jawline. The same intensity about the eyes. Currently, Amber’s blond hair was tied back, and she was made up as if to go in front of the camera at any moment. Her expression was filled with anticipation and excitement.

“Amber,” Jason said, “I’m glad you could meet with us today. I told you I would find a way to make your wedding work on short notice. You probably remember Liz. She’s—”

“Liz?” Amber’s expression froze. Liz was hit by the weight of Amber’s stare—and her clear condemnation—coming through the computer screen. Turning her shocked gaze to Jason, his niece asked in an incredulous voice, “Uncle Jason, what’s she doing there?”

“Amber.” Jason’s voice was gentle, coaxing. “Let me explain. Liz is the manager of Married in Malibu, the wedding venue I was telling you about.”

“
She’s
the manager?” Amber sounded as though she couldn’t believe that the woman who had practically left her uncle at the altar could be running a wedding venue. Liz didn’t blame her, since right then she was having a bit of a hard time believing it herself. “How can that possibly be?”

“Yes, Liz is the manager, and she’s here to make things work for you and Robert,” Jason explained, barely banked tension thrumming through his voice as he took in his niece’s dismay. “She’s your very best chance of having a beautiful wedding as soon as you finish filming in two weeks.”

“I’m here to help,” Liz said. “That’s all. It’s nothing more than a coincidence that I happen to manage Married in Malibu.”

“A pretty big coincidence,” Amber said with more than a little bite, but then she turned to her uncle again. “Are you sure about this? Are you sure you’re okay with working with her?”

Beside Liz, Jason winced slightly at the way his niece had emphasized the word
her
. “I’m sure. I was the one who found Married in Malibu, after all. It’s probably the only place that can put on a local wedding for you in two weeks. Fortunately, it’s a venue that’s been spun off from the very best in San Francisco, so I’m confident that it’s our best option.”

“Amber,” Liz interjected, “I promise that I’m simply here to give you the best wedding possible in two weeks. Both myself and my team will do absolutely everything we can to give you a perfect day.”

Amber hesitated for a long moment, before eventually sighing and nodding. “Okay,” she said, although she was still frowning. “If you’re okay with this, Uncle Jason, then I guess I’ll try to be, too. It’s just after the way she—”

“Working with Liz is going to be great,” he assured his niece before she could finish her sentence.

Still not looking quite convinced, Amber said, “Okay, so now what?”

Liz made herself smile into the computer screen as she said, “I’d like to talk with you about what you want for your wedding.”

“I’m not going to have to go through every detail again like for the French one, am I?” There was genuine discomfort in Amber’s voice.

“No,” Liz quickly assured her. “Not if you don’t want to. But I do need some general details to get started. How many people do you plan to invite, for example?”

“I don’t know,” Amber said. “It’s all gotten so out of hand. I mean, there are so many people who assume they will be coming…”

“Why don’t we cut it back to the essentials?” Jason suggested. “Our family, Robert’s family, and your closest friends. Thirty people. Forty, tops.”

“I like that,” Amber said, giving her uncle a small smile at last. “An intimate wedding would feel so much more like what Robert and I are really about.”

“Great,” Liz said. “Now, what about the color scheme and style? I know you don’t want to go into all the fine detail—I have a great team that can work that out. But if you give me a general idea of what you might like, they will make sure to come up with something that fits.”

“I want something classic. Simple but beautiful. But also unique. Has my uncle told you any of this already?”

“He has,” Liz said, then verified the color scheme, making sure that Amber wanted the mixture of colors that Jason had suggested. She did. Just as she wanted the not-too-stuffy setting that he had put forward and an indoor wedding, as well. Jason clearly knew very well what his niece wanted, which meant Liz would be able to trust him to get the details right.

It also meant, however, that she would have to stay in close contact with him for the next two weeks.

“Your uncle has already told me how important privacy is for you,” Liz said. “We’ll do everything we can to keep your wedding a secret. We also have our own chief of security. Do you have security people he needs to talk to?”

“I hire bodyguards for events, and we have a security system at home, but I don’t have anyone full time.”

That was a little unusual in the world of an A-list celebrity, but not unheard of. Celebrities often wanted the minimum amount of intrusion into their lives, and bodyguards could be just as intrusive as the threats they were meant to prevent.

“All right, then. Obviously, the main thing is not to let anyone know what’s happening. We’ll keep things quiet at this end. I won’t talk about the wedding to anyone but you, your uncle, and my staff. I promise that we’ll do anything it takes to keep this secret.”

“That’s good,” Amber said. She turned at a sound somewhere behind her. “Sorry, I have to go. I’m needed on set. I’ll talk to you later, Uncle Jason.”

“Talk to you later, sweetheart.”

“And Liz—” Amber looked as if she could hardly believe she was saying the words. “Thanks for helping me with my wedding.”

“You’re very welcome,” Liz said, and she truly meant it. Despite having become a big star, Amber was still a very nice person. And Liz could also see that she absolutely adored her uncle.

After Amber clicked her Skype screen closed and Jason and Liz were alone again, she said, “You two are still obviously very close. You really do know everything she wants for her wedding.”

“We got even closer after her mother died and she moved in with me.”

“I truly am sorry that you lost your sister and she lost her mother.”

Jason closed his laptop carefully. “We all knew my sister had problems, but I didn’t realize that she was that far gone. Not until it was too late.” A muscle worked in his jaw. “Amber found her surrounded by empty bottles.”

“Oh no.” It was just about the most horrible scenario she could imagine.

“Amber and I kind of looked after one another for a while there after I was able to adopt her permanently. Turns out the teenage years aren’t easy for anyone, but boy, did she turn out great.”

Liz’s heart melted at the way Jason had done so much to take care of his niece, rearranging his whole life to help her. She didn’t just want to reach for him now, she wanted to wrap her arms around him, hold on tight, and never let him go.

But she couldn’t. Not when that would only complicate things. And right now, both of them need to be one hundred percent focused on Amber’s wedding.

Still, she needed him to know, “Amber is lucky to have you. Very lucky.” She swallowed hard, then forced herself to return her focus to the wedding, rather than the way her heart was racing—and overflowing with longing—just from being in the same room with him. “If you have a little more time to spare, why don’t we start going over the finer details? The sooner we get it done, the sooner my team will be able to get on with making this wedding perfect.”

From the way he was looking at her—as though his heart was filled with just as much longing as hers—she thought he might be about to say something that had nothing whatsoever to do with the wedding. Something big. But he simply picked up a pad of paper and said, “Here’s what I’ve got so far.”

Forty-five minutes later, she had a file on her tablet covering flowers, menus, music, the order of the ceremony, transportation, and the bride’s dress and measurements. With so little time before the wedding, having to constantly call or meet with Jason for additional details would only slow things down, not to mention risk compromising the secret nature of the occasion. And if that wasn’t the whole reason she wanted to make sure that she got as much information as possible in this one trip, well, she was only human...and he was a very attractive man whom she now knew she’d never actually gotten over.

“I think that’s everything for now,” she said as she packed up her things and stood. And for a moment, she thought she might be about to get away with it.

“Liz,” Jason said, stopping her before she could leave the kitchen, “that’s not everything.”

This time she knew for certain that he wasn’t talking about the wedding anymore. Oh God...was he really going to do this? Especially after she’d nearly managed to make it all the way through this meeting without throwing herself into his arms? Without reaching out to find out whether his faint buzz of stubble felt as delicious against her fingertips as it always had? Without kissing him the way she was simply dying to?

Still, she had to at least try to head him off at the pass. “If we missed something with the lighting arrangements or the wedding party, maybe you could email it to me? I know I’ve already taken up time that you should be using for writing, so—”

“Why did you leave me, Liz? And why didn’t you ever come back?”

L
iz knew
there could be no more hiding from their past, no more pretending that this meeting had been purely business with no hint of personal feelings to intrude on it.

And the truth was that even if she had ended up deciding to hand things over to Rose and take herself out of the wedding entirely from here on—which she definitely wasn’t going to do—Liz still couldn’t escape the fact that she needed to finally give Jason an answer.

No matter how painful it was.

Forcing herself to look him in the eye, she said, “I left because I was holding you back.”

“Holding me back?” He looked hugely confused, as if that was the last thing he’d expected her to say. “How could you possibly have held me back?”

“You have more talent than anyone I’ve ever met. You were right on the verge of breaking through as a novelist when we first started dating. But then, when we got so completely wrapped up in each other, you stopped going to writing conferences. Stopped trying to meet with agents and editors from publishing houses.”

It had been so obvious that he would be a success. Once Liz had read his first manuscript, she’d known Jason had the potential to achieve everything he had ever wanted. And that there was nothing in life that could stop him.

Except her. Because while Jason should have been rocketing toward success, Liz was an anchor around his neck, dragging him back down. A waitress with a rough childhood from a small town who had moved to LA with big dreams? Everyone had heard that story so many times it had become a cliché. More than that, it had become a joke. There had been times when she’d come back from the diner with her feet hurting after a long day waiting tables, when even Liz had wondered whether she would ever have what it took to realize her own dreams.

“Wait a second,” he said slowly, clearly working to wrap his head around what she was saying. “You left because you thought you were getting in the way of my career?”

“Remember that writers’ conference in Montana? You’d always wanted to see Big Sky Country, but even more than that, you needed to see it since it was the setting for your novel. You suggested making a road trip out of it, said that we could have a grand adventure, see wide-open spaces, and make—” Her breath caught in her throat. “Make love beneath the stars.”

She could see him disappearing into the memory with her as he said, “You were afraid you’d lose your job waiting tables if you asked for time off.”

She’d been afraid of so much back then—especially of how powerful her love for Jason was...and how powerful his was for her in return. “When I said I couldn’t go, you said you wouldn’t go, either. That you were happy staying right there with me, doing proofreading for the local newspaper, just as long as we were together.” The old frustration bubbled up as she said, “But I knew you would never be content living in some little garden cottage forever. You were meant to be a big, famous writer, not to toil away in obscurity for a weekly paper with tiny circulation. You had so many dreams, such a sense of adventure. I didn’t want to stifle that.” She swallowed hard. “But you refused to leave me, even for one night. No matter what opportunities came your way, you always rejected them to stay home with me instead.”

“I loved you, Liz. Of course I didn’t want to leave you.”

“I loved you, too. You know I did. But—” She’d never been able to say these words to him before, but with ten years of space between them, they were finally able to spill out. “You were so adamant about never doing anything or going anywhere without me that I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe anymore. Like we weren’t two individual people who were going to share our lives, but were rapidly fading into each other until I could no longer figure out who each of us was anymore.”

“Why didn’t you tell me I was suffocating you?” She could hear the pain beneath each word, and she hated that she was hurting him again.

“You weren’t suffocating me,” she countered softly. “I loved being with you just as much, Jason, to the exclusion of pretty much everything else. And that’s what scared me. It frightened the heck out of me that suddenly both of us seemed to be letting go of the dreams that had been such a huge part of who we were up until we met one another. I wanted to talk to you about it, but you and I were never really very good at having serious discussions about things.”

“Sure we were,” he said. “We would stay up for hours talking about the house we were going to build on the coast one day—” A house very much like the one he now lived in, actually. “—and the family we wanted to have, and all the places we would explore together.”

“You’re right, we had no problem talking about the good things. But whenever I planned to talk with you about how worried I was that you weren’t following your dreams―and my growing fears that I was on a dead-end path myself—you’d touch me, kiss me. And the next thing I knew I was so swept up in our passionate connection that I’d never actually bring up any of my worries. By the time we’d wake up in bed the next morning, I couldn’t bear to ruin the moment. Not when it felt so good just to be with you.”

“You still could have told me, could have found a time when we weren’t tearing each other’s clothes off to lay it all out for me.”

“Even if I had, I still wouldn’t have been able to stay.” She felt utterly bleak as she remembered the day she’d accidentally intercepted a phone call meant for Jason. “Why didn’t you tell me the best writing program in the country had accepted you? And how could you have turned them down without talking to me about it? I only found out because they called the house line instead of your cell to beg you to reconsider.”

He looked guilty for a moment, as if he still regretted keeping the information from her. “I knew how coming to California was your dream, and how much you loved it here. I couldn’t ask you to go back to where you grew up.”

“Graduates of that program have won Pulitzers and become international best sellers, Jason. It killed me to find out that you’d turned it down. And that’s when I knew for sure that our relationship wasn’t going to work. Two people in love are supposed to bring out the best in each other, but I didn’t bring out the best in you. It was the exact opposite. Still...you have to know that it nearly killed me to pack up my things and leave.”

He was silent as he processed everything she was saying. Finally, he asked, “But even if you thought you needed to leave for my own good, why did you do it like that? Without any warning. Without even telling me why.”

“I know it was the coward’s way out,” she admitted softly, “but I also knew that if I tried explaining things to you, I would just end up in your arms, where you would persuade me to stay.” Couldn’t he see that it hadn’t been about not loving him? It had been about loving him too much. “And then you would never have ended up going for your dreams and getting what you wanted in life.”

“You keep talking about all of the things I wanted, but can’t you see that the only thing I really wanted was you?”

The force of his statement took Liz aback. Yes, her feelings for him were roiling just barely beneath the surface. But she hadn’t thought that he could possibly feel the same way ten years later.

“After you left, Liz, everything felt so wrong.”

But she couldn’t believe that, didn’t want to think that she’d made the wrong decision when at the time it had felt like the only one possible. She gestured to the ocean just outside his windows, then to the bookshelf where Jason’s books were lined up in their hardback editions, tangible reminders of everything he had already achieved. His career had taken off not long after they’d split up, his fame building, his name rising higher on the best-seller lists with each new book. She’d read interviews from around the world as he went on signing tours, traveling to all the exotic places she knew he’d always dreamed of seeing—Europe and Australia, Japan and South Africa.

“How could you say things felt wrong when you got everything you ever dreamed of?” As soon as Liz had gone, his success had followed, exactly as she’d known it would. She truly had been the only thing standing in Jason’s way. “You’ve achieved everything you ever wanted. How can you argue with my leaving when it all worked out?”

“Are you kidding?” Jason demanded in a raw voice. “I was a wreck when you left. I was so broken up that I thought I’d never be able to put the pieces back together. I loved you more than anything, and you left without even letting me try to convince you to stay. If you had only talked to me, confronted me—”

“But you would have just held on tighter if I had told you I was scared!” The words burst from her lips before she knew they were coming. “Why couldn’t you see how overwhelmed I was? I was only twenty-one. I came to Los Angeles expecting to work hard to achieve my dreams—but I never expected to find a love that eclipsed everything else. Why couldn’t you let us each have a little space?”

He stared at her, clearly as stunned by her outburst as she was. And then, suddenly, a wave of sadness seemed to wash over him. “Because I was afraid that if I admitted that I was holding on too tight, and if I let you have some space, I’d lose you. You’re right that I would have given up my writing for you.” He shook his head. “If only I had known just how ironic our ending would be—that you’d end up leaving me anyway, all to save my writing career.”

“Oh, Jason.”

Her heart broke for the mistakes they’d both made. All she wanted was to find a way to chase away the shadows, and the pain, so that everything would be all right again. She wanted so badly just to feel his strength as she wrapped her arms around him and—

No. Liz clenched her hands tight, her nails digging into her palms hard enough that it hurt. She was getting caught up in him—in them—again. She needed to get some distance, or she wouldn’t be able to think properly.

“I need to go.”

“Don’t go, Liz. Stay this time. Stay and keep talking with me about what happened between us ten years ago.” He moved closer. “And about what’s happening now.”

“I can see that you have a book you need to get back to,” she said as she stumbled back to put some space between them. “And I need to get everyone at Married in Malibu prepped on the details of the wedding.”

“Liz, please—”

“There are only two weeks. There’s a lot to take care of.”

She scrambled through his house, out the front door, and into her car. Only when she was clear of the house could she breathe again. It had been way too intense in there.

She and Jason weren’t like Rose and RJ, who were two halves of a whole and whose lives seemed to mesh so perfectly. Then again, hadn’t Rose said something about how it hadn’t always been smooth sailing for her and her husband?

“You shouldn’t even be thinking about this,” Liz told herself. “You have far too much work to do.”

She had a wedding to plan, Jason had a book to write, and it wasn’t like they were going to get back together or anything crazy like that. Not even if they’d been on the verge of a kiss in his kitchen before Amber had called and interrupted the moment.

No, nothing was going to happen between them. They weren’t going to let their relationship derail both of their lives a second time.

She wouldn’t let it.