The Beard (28 page)

“It’s a mess,” she said, holding back the emotion and the desire to blurt everything out.

“Who is he?” her father asked quietly, as if saying the words out loud was, in itself, a banned sport.

“His name was Sam. He was a human-rights lawyer. You’d have liked him.” Amy stopped herself from speaking. She wasn’t sure if it was wise to open her own emotional Pandora’s box. She was fairly sure that if she started, there’d be no
‘off switch’. “He asked me to go to Thailand with him,” she added tantalisingly. 

“Are you going to go?” her father enquired sensitively.

“No,” came the immediate reply. “He wanted me to go with him now. Today. He said it had to be today. I said no and he dumped me.”

There was a pause as the information filtered through. “So, you’d been seeing this man for some time, I take it?”

Amy was unsure of what to say. She knew that the truth would make her look bad. She had been seeing him, but that was because she was single. Her father would put two and two together and get five. Amy nodded. “But it’s not what you think,” she said hesitantly. “I’ve not cheated on Tom. We’re…”

At that point, the lounge door flew open. “There you are!” Amy’s mother said. “Listen, I think you need to go and rescue poor Adam.”

Amy leapt up and looked at her mother. “Why?” she said slightly panicked.

Judith looked towards the door and pushed it shut. “I don’t want to say anything bad about your boyfriend, darling, but… I think he’s homophobic.”

Amy stood and stared at her mother in stunned silence. “Tom? Homophobic?” she managed, stopping herself from laughing.

Moving into the centre of the room, nearer the sofa where her husband remained, Judith spoke in hushed tones, “Well, he’s behaving in a very funny way towards Adam, almost prickly. When Adam told Tom that he’d heard a lot about him from Edith, I thought he was going to bite his head off. ‘What do you mean? Heard what?’ he barked at poor Adam. I think he might not like…” Amy’s mother looked around to make sure the coast was clear, before whispering, “…the gays.”

“Tom’s not homophobic, mother,” Amy smiled. “Trust me.”

Amy’s mother continued to look at the door and then back at them. “Well, you explain it to me, then. He’s been on tenterhooks all evening. I think you might have to ask him to be a little more accepting of people with alternative lifestyles.”

Amy sighed and looked to her father, who offered her a wink of support. “Where is he now?” she asked, feigning concern. “I’ll have a word.”

“He’s in the dining room still, with Edith and Adam. Be quick. I don’t want a scene,” Judith said as she continued to glance nervously at the door.

Amy nodded. Putting her glass down on a side table, she walked out of the room.

“So,” said Amy’s mother, circling her husband, “what were you two talking about?”

Finishing off his scotch, Richard inhaled deeply. “Nothing much,” he started. “We were just remembering stories from her childhood. Getting a bit melancholic, to be honest.”

Amy’s mother was wrong-footed by the reply. She expected something far more salacious. “I hope there isn’t going to be a thing between Tom and Adam,” she said. “I don’t want the weekend spoiled by those two going at it.”

Richard looked up at his wife. “You think that might happen?”

Judith glanced around the room nervously: “You should see them together. There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on. Adam seems different and Tom is very testy with him.” She paused for a moment. “Maybe we should’ve told him we’d have a gay man staying. Asked Amy if he was fine with it. Some men are funny with it, aren’t they? It’s too late now. We can’t relocate one of them. I should’ve foreseen this. I mean, if Tom’s a man’s man, he might not feel relaxed with Adam. Oh, dear.”

Richard sniggered. Judith spun around and stared at him. “This isn’t funny. I’m not having my nephew upset – or Amy’s boyfriend. But at the end of the day, Tom is just going to have to take Adam as he finds him.”

Richard smiled and gestured his approval, while finding the situation humorous.

“Here we are!” said Edith as she, Tom, Adam and Amy entered the room.

Judith smiled and welcomed them all. Then, hitting Richard on the shoulder, she mouthed the word, “Drinks!” at him.

“What’s everyone having to drink?” he said, springing to his feet.

As Richard collected the drinks orders, Judith looked on nervously at her house guests. All she wanted was for everyone to get on and for love to blossom. It wasn’t much to ask.

Tom sat down in one of the three-seat sofas and Adam sat next to him. Judith shot her husband a glance. Walking over to him at the drinks tray, she whispered, “See – odd. Adam is taunting Tom, I’m sure of it. Look at them.”

Richard endeavoured to turn and look before Judith grabbed his arm. “Not now!” she all but shouted under her breath. Then, turning around, she chirped, “OK, who’s rum?”

Adam raised his hand and the drink was ferried over to him. Amy had sat back down on the sofa she’d shared with her father, with Edith finding a single armchair. “Adam, darling,” Judith started, “surely, Amy should sit next to Tom?”

Adam was about to rise before Amy interrupted. “I don’t mind,” she said. “We’re all comfy now, anyway.”

Adam lowered himself back into his seat. Tom was sat with his arms and legs crossed, facing away from Adam. Sensing some tension, Judith perched on the arm of the sofa. “This is nice,” she offered in a flowery attempt to make everyone smile.

“That was a delicious dinner,” said Tom, looking away from Adam.

Judith beamed. “Well, thank you, Tom. So kind of you.”

Amy’s father approached Adam and handed him Tom’s drink. “Pass that to Tom, will you, please?” he said. He walked away and smiled mischievously to himself. He knew that he could’ve handed Tom the drink directly but was enjoying the pantomime. Whatever was happening was entertaining.

“There you go,” Adam said boldly, holding the drink out for Tom.

“Thanks,” said Tom, looking at the floor.

Having ensured that everyone was well stocked with drinks, Richard turned to the room and bellowed, “Cheers!” Everyone raised their glass and echoed the sentiments. “It’s so lovely to have everyone here on this joyous weekend,” he said.

“You’re not making a speech!” ordered Amy to gentle sniggers from around the room.

“I think you should!” said Adam teasingly.

“I was just going to say that as we gather this weekend, we should remember what’s important: love, friends and family. I know that, as the weekend progresses, we’ll see love flourish and more friends, and maybe even family, emerge.”

Judith nearly fell from the arm of her chair as she thrust her glass hopefully into the air. “I’ll drink to that!” she said, looking at Tom.

Adam moved his glass up towards Tom’s. “Cheers,” he said. Tom raised his glass and gave it a brief clink with Adam’s. It was the first time he’d looked at Adam directly, so close up. He nodded his head and mumbled, “Cheers,” before taking a drink that all but finished the contents. 

“A top-up?” asked Richard.

“Er, oh…” Tom said, realising that he’d taken his entire glass in one shot. “Please…”

Edith sat, quietly drinking in the end-of-day atmosphere as the log fire crackled to the side of her. “At least the weather will be fine tomorrow,” she said. “Chilly but fine.” Everyone made noises to agree. “I’m rather fond of autumnal weddings,” she continued. “They differ from the norm. I like that.”

“That’s lucky,” said Adam, smiling at his mother.

Edith stared back at him as if to say, “Where did I go wrong?”

An unusual silence filled the void. “So, Adam,” said Richard, choosing to puncture it. “What are your plans now that you’re back? You staying here?”

Adam leant forward in his chair. “I am, yes. I’m going to take some time off to get my bearings, then look for a practice that’ll have me wash up on their door. And who knows? Maybe I’ll find what these two guys have.” With that, Adam clasped Tom’s thigh. “A meaningful relationship.”

Judith smiled. Edith frowned. Richard looked on impassively. Amy looked alarmed and Tom looked as if he’d just been electrocuted.

“Right!” said Tom, standing up at once. “Bed. Amy? Bed.”

What had meant to sound calm and composed sounded more like a command. Knowing the magnitude of the situation, Amy stood up and downed the rest of her drink. “Bed. Right, Tom,” she replied mockingly.

Richard grinned at his daughter’s defiance. Tom turned to Judith. “Well, thank you again for a delightful meal. It really was quite splendid. Oh, and for all your hospitality. We’re both very grateful. Anyway, goodnight all.” With that, he fled, leaving a trailing hand for Amy to grasp. Like a mid-air refuelling or a relay race, she had to make contact in a short space of time.

“Night-night,” Judith said like a child, giggling. The door closed behind them and Amy managed a “goodnight” before it slammed shut.

Judith walked over to the empty space next to her husband. “He really is a man’s man, isn’t he?” she offered to no one in particular.

“No arguments from me on that one,” said Adam.

Richard looked up, his forehead crumpled. “That’s the second time someone’s said that today,” he said, finishing his drink and staring at Adam quizzically.

“Roll on, tomorrow!” Edith declared.

When Tom awoke in the morning, he was conscious that Amy wasn’t next to him. They’d shared a bed many times before, so Tom knew that it was unlike her to get up announced. He sat up and looked around the room for her. There, bathed in the sunshine of a fresh day, she sat gazing aimlessly out of the window.

“What time is it?” asked Tom.

Amy didn’t turn or look up. “Eight,” she said. “The caterers are ferrying about. It’s like Piccadilly Circus down there.”

Tom sat up in bed and yawned. He had a fair idea what this was all about. Despite that, he had to go through the motions. “What’s wrong?” he asked. His enquiry lacked genuine interest and Amy knew it.

“Nothing,” came the disingenuous reply.

“Come on,” he said, yawning again. “Tell me.”

Amy remained silent. Aside from the fact that she knew Tom wasn’t that interested, she was in no mood to talk. Tom threw back the sheets and wandered over to her. He wore sky-blue pyjama trousers and a Batman T-shirt. Given that he had a striking similarity to Clark Kent, he looked like a superhero with an identity crisis.

“What is it?” he asked, looking out of the window for clues. Amy shrugged her shoulders. That usually indicated that they were a few minutes away from a long journey of soul searching. “Is it the wedding?” he asked, to no avail. “Adam?” Amy didn’t react. “Your parents? Us pretending? Dinner last night? The
Middle East?”

Amy smiled. “Just… I don’t know... Life,” she said.

“Ah,” said Tom. He joined her on the window seat. “And by life, you mean that your cousin is happy and married – or will be in four hours. You think I’m about to go running off with Adam, or someone if not him. Your parents are together and even Ash is looking like he might just settle down, leaving you alone now that Sam’s done a runner. To wit, you’ll never find happiness and will die alone surrounded by your cats, who’ll slowly eat you as you decompose, unloved.” Tom left a poignant pause as he stared at Amy. “You mean that?” he asked flippantly. “That life?”

Amy hated it when Tom encapsulated her life in a fleeting paragraph – it was true that her life could be easily summarised, but that didn’t make it simple. She looked up at him and shrugged. That was, by default, a “yes”.

“Well, to be honest, I do hope that something happens with me and someone else. I mean, in the years that I’ve known you, you’ve had a few boyfriends. On each occasion, I’ve sat back and watched with supportive envy. I’ve been dumped as your cinema partner, left alone at dinner tables and had no one to go clubbing with. I’ve sat alone and watched TV, celebrated New Year with no one to kiss and then invented a girlfriend to ensure that this miserable life was protected. And that’s fine. You should have boyfriends and you should have a life. But what I’m not going to put up with, Amy, is you feeling sorry for yourself because MAYBE, just maybe, for the first time in, like, ten years, I might get a small bite of the happy cherry. For you to get moody because other people are having a slice of what you’ve had is petty, vindictive and just plain nasty. Is that a fair assessment?”

It was. Amy felt ashamed for feeling so. It was only right that Tom had a chance at happiness. She knew that it was unfair for her to feel so jealous. However, being surrounded by such gluttonous displays of happiness accentuated the sting of her recent rejection.
“I know, I’m sorry,” she said, feeling even worse.

In truth, she hadn’t actually done anything wrong, other than feel something.
She looked pitiful and weak. Her nightdress, with a cartoon budgie sitting on a branch, was both sweet and pathetic. It seemed oddly symbolic – a lonely bird. 

Tom took her hand. “Look, I know that you and Sam breaking up wasn’t the best thing ever. I know that coming straight off that into a wedding is probably a kick in the heart. But you knew he wasn’t the one for you. You knew. I knew. Even bloody Ash knew! I saw something in you when he walked out – yes, it was pain but there was also relief. If you’ve just fallen in love, you shouldn’t feel stressed, and you were. It wasn’t right. I can’t offer you anything more than that. But you weren’t as happy as you thought. Like we said, you were in love with the
idea
of being in love. So now, people talking about happiness and love and stuff surround you, and you’re wondering – should I have gone? Was it the right thing to do to break up? Maybe I could have loved him? The fact is, if you have to ask those questions, you already know the answer. He wasn’t right for you but someone out there will be. Someone here this weekend might be – who knows? But sitting up here feeling sorry for yourself, like one of the ugly sisters, isn’t gonna turn your life around.”