The Berserker and the Pedant (10 page)

"We should at least prepare people for the arrival of the Phage before we go," Melody said.

"We've done all we can," said Leon, shaking his head. He looked sad. "Their fate is their own."

Pellonia slid silently away from the firelight. Moving deliberately, first she moved one hand, then she slid her body, then the other hand and her legs. She made her way out of the firelight and into the bushes unnoticed. Peeking through to the other side of the bushes, she saw three enormous dark figures.

They were sitting in the moonlight, back-to-back-to-back in a small clearing. Sitting down, they were still taller then Pellonia. It was the trolls.

"Maro, give us anotha," said one.

"Anotha, comin' up." Maro reached a clawed green hand into an enormous writhing bag and pulled out a small humanoid creature. 

"A goblin," Pellonia whispered. 

It wriggled and squirmed as Maro stretched the arm holding the goblin behind him and handed the goblin to the other troll. The other troll lifted the goblin into the air and dipped its head into its mouth as the goblin screamed and struggled, followed by a sickening crunch, followed by silence, then chewing.

Pellonia gagged at the gruesome sight as blood leaked out of the troll's mouth. The troll let out a groan of satisfaction. Pellonia took out her knife and started to crawl into the clearing when Leon burst in a few feet away.

"Blod! Put down the goblin!" he said in an authoritative voice. "They're not snacks. We need as many of them as we can get. We can't spare a single one. Maro, put the sack down, and the three of you come with us. Pellonia's disappeared, and we've got to find her."

"D'oah," Blod said, sounding rather disappointed. "Can't I 'ave one more?"

"No."

Blod threw the goblin's body over into a small pile of headless goblins and reached into the bag, pulling out another squirming goblin and biting its head off.

"Now you've done it, Blod," said Leon. He unsheathed a sword, and three orbs flew off his back and shoulders, hovering a foot above his head. One burned, flames licking at the sides of the orb. One shimmered, a coat of ice solidifying around the orb. One crackled, lightning coursing through the orb.

The other two trolls backed away from Leon. Blod roared, his mouth a gaping maw. Small pieces of flesh and flecks of blood flew towards Leon, but he stepped to the side quicker than Pellonia could see, and the bits passed by without striking him. The orbs kept pace with Leon, hovering just overhead.

The clearing flashed as lightning arced out of one orb and seared into the troll. The smell of burned flesh filled Pellonia's nose as Leon's sword bit into the troll's arm. He was only a step behind the lightning strike. The troll's arm fell from its body. Then its other arm fell away, followed by its legs and head as Leon moved in a blur. The troll's body fell to the ground, revealing Leon, facing away from Pellonia, crouching with the sword facing out at the end of a swipe. Blood dripped from it.

Leon stood and wiped his blade clean with a cloth. He sheathed the sword as the orbs descended and landed on his shoulders and the back of his neck.

"Maro, Boan, let's go find Pellonia while Blod heals. And no more goblin snacks."

"Yes, masta. Of course, masta," the trolls stammered, lumbering out into the forest. Leon waited for Melody to walk up to him and offered her his arm. She took it, and they walked away.

Pellonia waited, hidden.

After some time, she heard a voice.

"There is no way that little ant is going to find her. He's just going back to his nest; we've got to come up with some other way to find her."

Pellonia heard a soft clicking sound at her feet. She looked down and saw Antic, rubbing its head against her boot. She reached down and picked up the ant, petting its head.

"It's good to see you too, Antic," she said. "I was getting quite worried."

Gurken walked into the clearing, Arthur and Moog at his side. Pellonia stepped out and ran over to Arthur. She threw her arms around him.

"There you are. We've been worried sick about you," Arthur said.

"We've got to help them," Pellonia answered, arms still wrapped around Arthur. "I don't care if they're goblins, we can't let the trolls bite their heads off and we can't let Leon take them away and make them fight when they don't want to. It's not all right."

"Just a moment, slow down," Arthur said.

"What did you say about goblins?" Gurken asked, an angry expression on his face. Algiz, the dwarfen rune of the protective urge to shelter others, burned into his axe's head.

Episode Eleven

The Berserker and the Rescue

Arthur turned the sack of goblins upside down; nine little goblins came tumbling out, falling over each other and tumbling to the ground. There was a sharp snap as they scrambled to get up. One of the goblins accidentally stepped on another's neck. Eight little goblins stood in a circle, staring at their now dead comrade.

"Oh, no!" said Pellonia.

"What've you done?" asked Gurken, furrowing his brow.

Arthur looked confused and waved a hand towards the creatures. "They're just goblins. As I recall, we killed quite a few of them yesterday. Also, I beg of you to remember, they did - actually - kill me."

"Arthur, you do need to learn to let go. Do all wizards hold a grudge like this or is it just you?" said Pellonia. Arthur scrunched his face in consternation.

"That was yesterday," Gurken chastised. "Today we know better. Goblins are people too. We're going to rescue them."

One goblin, having evidently come to the end of his string of courage, took off at a run. Not possessing the wherewithal to determine an appropriate direction for flight, he ran directly into Gurken's axe, impaling it into his head. Gurken's eyes grew wide, and his mouth fell open.

"Not the hardiest of creatures," Arthur remarked. Gurken and Pellonia glared at him.

Seven little goblins took off running in all directions. One tripped over a branch, striking his head upon a large rock. Six little goblins disappeared into the forest.

"The little buggers are rather difficult to keep alive, aren't they?" Arthur observed. "Shall we give chase?"

There was a single thumping sound in the direction one of the goblins fled. They ran over and saw that the poor goblin had run directly into a tree and lay slumped on the ground with his face squished against the tree. Five little goblins ran through the forest.

"Every life is precious," Arthur mocked, pointing a finger in the air.

"Split up and go catch one," Gurken said. Arthur, Pellonia, Gurken and Moog split up and pursued the survivors.

Gurken found one first. He carefully held his axe away from the goblin, but this caused no little bit of fright to the poor creature, who assumed Gurken was preparing to swing the axe. The goblin keeled over in shock, falling backwards to the ground. Four little goblins remained. Another goblin smacked into the axe, decapitating himself, as Gurken held the axe out behind him. Three little goblins.

Pellonia chased a goblin through the forest, but the goblin was overcome by exhaustion and died. Two little goblins. Moog found one crouched behind a fallen tree, but it died of fright at the sight of Moog's furry mane lurking over him. One little goblin.

Arthur found the last little goblin. It was crouching on the ground, holding a stick and hiding behind it. Arthur reached down and picked the goblin up by its ankle. It squirmed and struggled upside down before evidently deciding to play dead, as it hung limp with its tongue sticking out, making dying sounds. Arthur returned to the clearing.

A short time later, they stood around the clearing in a circle, looking at the lone goblin survivor. The goblin was now wearing Gurken's helmet, with straw stuffed into it in order to both add cushioning and provide for the goblin's smaller head. 

Pellonia donated a shirt to the "keep the goblin alive" cause, which the goblin was now wearing. The shirt was stuffed so full of dried grass that tufts of straw stuck out of the neck and sleeves. The shirt was tucked into an undergarment provided by Arthur, which was secured at the top with a bit of rope and tied around its ankles at the bottom. The undergarment was stuffed full of leaves.

Pellonia handed Gurken's shield to the goblin - well, she propped it up against the goblin anyway. "There," she said. "That ought to keep you safe." She patted the goblin gingerly on the helmet, which slid to one side. Pellonia straightened it.

"Well," said Arthur. "Now that we've rescued - this - goblin, what should we do next?"

"We still haven't found the orb," Pellonia said. "Has anyone seen it?"

Gurken shook his head. "I searched the mines and it wasn't there."

"It wasn't up on the cliff," Arthur said.

"Moog," said Moog while scratching at his beard.

There was a quiet rustling, though no one seemed to notice but the goblin. The goblin turned - well, more like pivoted on one foot, and saw the arm of the troll that Leon had hacked apart pulling itself along with its fingers. The goblin's eyes grew wide, and it pivoted back towards the group, wildly vibrating its arms trying to get their attention. He couldn't move very well, constrained as he was by all the straw stuffing, baggy clothes, and oversized helmet.

"Perhaps the trolls took the orb," Arthur said. "We'll have to track one down and ask."

The troll's arm succeeded in pulling itself over to the troll's torso. It set itself back in place, and the flesh between the two grew and stitched together.

"Ask a troll?" Gurken said. "I hardly think they are the most talkative of creatures."

Another arm connected on the other side of the troll's torso and the torso crawled over to the troll's decapitated head.

"Give it a chance, Gurken," said Arthur. "You were quite excited about saving the goblin; perhaps the trolls are just as worthy a creature?" 

Gurken huffed.

The goblin jumped up and down, though it obtained no more than an inch of difference between the two extremes. It was still vibrating its arms; it started to make some strange sounds. "MMMmmm Hmmm mmmmuuuuhhh."

"I think the goblin is trying to tell us something," Pellonia remarked. The goblin nodded to the best of its ability.

Arthur rubbed his chin. "Perhaps he knows where the orb is located. Gurken, get the drawing and show him." Gurken took off his pack and looked through it for the scroll.

"Ah se'en where da orb is," said a voice. Everyone turned toward the voice. The troll, completely healed, loomed over them. It was twice as tall as Arthur. Its mouth twisted into a vicious smile, six-inch fangs protruding from its mouth. "Ah take you der. You comin' wit me."

The troll reached a hand down and grabbed Pellonia, its hand wrapping around her head. It lifted her into the air and slammed her head down to the ground. She didn't get up.

Moog ran, the goblin fell over and rolled away, Arthur took a few steps back and pulled out his orb, and Gurken drew his axe, roared and charged the troll. Berkano, the dwarfen rune of feeling anxiety about someone close to you, glowed a fierce orange upon the axe's head.