The Best American Mystery Stories, Volume 17 (50 page)

“Anyway,” Lacy tells him, “we're getting by okay.”

“After fourteen years, I'd like to be doing more for us than just getting by.”

“For instance?”

And he says, “Portugal.”

She laughs softly and rubs his chest. “Not me, baby. No hablo Portuguese.”

But he remembers the way she looked that night when they had eaten spaghetti in front of the big-screen TV downstairs. His rule is that Molly cannot watch TV during dinner unless it is an educational program, so they found a travel series on PBS. In this show, the host, a lanky New Englander with a mop of blond hair, was visiting the Iberian Peninsula. Molly nearly swooned at the sight of the white beaches.

“Wouldn't it be awesome if we could go there?” she asked. “Mommy, wouldn't you like to go there?”

“Mmm,” Lacy had said, and then, “It would be awfully expensive, I'll bet.”

Will had felt a heaviness in his chest that night, and now, in bed with the woman he adores, as he inhales the scent of her hair and absorbs the heat of her skin, the heaviness comes back to him.

It is still there long after she has fallen asleep. After a while he rises and pulls on his boxers. He sits by the open window looking out through the screen. He sits there a long time, wondering what he can do to make things better. The night is too warm and smells of the street, of road oil and dirt, of other people in transit.

We can't steal the bike
, he thinks after a while.
We can't beat Kenny up. We don't want to do anything that might give Kenny's mother a heart attack. Or anything that Jennilee will divorce Harvey over. I have to be clever about this
, he thinks.
This is my role in things. I am not bold or fearless, but I can think things through. I'm nobody's genius, but I can figure this out
.

He turns away from the window to look at his wife asleep. She lies facing him, left hand flat beneath her cheek. She is still naked, and he can feel himself wanting her again, the touch of her flesh against his. And this desire somehow conjoins with his desire to help Harvey and his own desire to ease the pressure that has been squeezing at the base of his scalp all day. Maybe he can be bold, after all, if that is what the situation calls for. Maybe, after all, there exists in him a seed of fearlessness and its potential for change.

 

It is not yet 7
A.M
. when Will pulls his car up to the loading dock beside a Jimmy Dean Sausage delivery truck. Harvey, using a dolly, is loading boxes of refrigerated sausage into the rear of the truck. Will shuts off the engine and leans his head out the open window.

Harvey asks, “What are you doing out of bed so early?”

“Didn't get much sleep last night.”

Harvey comes to the edge of the loading dock. “I hope it was because of Lacy and not that pizza you had.”

Will spots a couple of men several yards behind Harvey in the cave of the warehouse, one running a forklift and the other scanning boxes with his hand scanner. The forklift driver is wearing a set of headphones, and the other man is working beneath the softly whirring blades of two warehouse fans.

And Will asks in a voice barely loud enough for his brother to hear, “You still set on doing this thing?”

“Which thing you talking about?”

“You know which thing.”

Harvey looks off into the distance for a moment, his body very still, as if he might be watching a bird soaring off, watching something beautiful fly away from him. “I don't know,” he finally says. “I might've cooled off a little.” But the longer he gazes into the distance and the longer he stands there with the smell of the delivery truck in his nostrils, the coolness of the refrigerated boxes spreading a numbness to his hands, the more the old tension comes back to him. “Even so... yeah. Yeah. I guess I still think something needs to be done.”

“You guess or you're sure?” Will asks.

“What'd I just say?”

“Because this is no little thing we're contemplating here.”

“So you came up with a plan?”

“The only thing that concerns me is that it might be a little too severe.”

“Naw, severe is okay. Severe is good.”

With that, Harvey jumps down off the loading dock. He bends close to Will's window, hand to the door. “So what is it we're doing?”

“You want rid of him, right? You want him out of your life?”

“I'd say that's pretty much dead-on, yeah.”

“He might take the motorcycle with him when he goes. Might sell it to somebody else, I really don't know.”

“Screw the motorcycle.”

“Good. Because this isn't about the motorcycle anymore.”

“It never was.”

Will nods. “It might be good then if I was to, you know, get some of the specifics about what this really is about.”

Harvey says without inflection, “You don't need any specifics.”

Will studies his brother for a moment. Then, “So okay then. How's tonight work for you?”

“It just so happens I'm free tonight.”

“Can you meet me behind the bar at eleven without Jennilee knowing?”

“Eleven o'clock at night? I'll be in bed by then! Jeezus, Will, I have to get up at five-thirty, you know.”

“Sorry. I guess I overestimated your resolve in this matter.”

“Hey, my resolve is set in concrete. It's just that... can't we do this a little earlier?”

“Sure we can. You want to go get some breakfast and
then
break into Kenny's office? That would be, what—right around nine? Maybe we should take Kenny a coffee while we're at it. I can't guarantee we'll be all that effective with him watching us, but hey, at least you'll be awake for it.”

“That's what we're going to do? Break into his office?”

“You wanted a plan, I came up with a plan.”

“I hope there's a little more to it than that.”

Will blows out a breath. “You going to meet us or not?”

“Us? Who the hell is us?”

“Stevie's in on it, too.”

“Ah, jeezus. Now I know we'll get caught.”

“I had to use him to get something we need, and he wouldn't agree to do it unless he could come along.”

“Jeezus. We're all going to end up in jail.”

“You know, this is the way it's always been with us, hasn't it? You get some wild hair up your ass and come running to me about it, I lie awake all night trying to figure out how to help you out with it, and next day you're like, ‘Oh, I guess it's not so bad after all.'”

“Did I say that?”

“I don't know; did you? Truth is, I don't think you even know what you're saying half the time.”

“I can still beat the shit out of you.”

“Still? You never could. Not since I was sixteen, anyway.”

Harvey tries without success to suppress a smile. He remembers well the time Will first took a swing at him, how after all those years of torment from his big brother, all those knuckle-thumps and punches on the arm, Will, instead of running away this time, threw a short, unexpected punch that bloodied Harvey's lip, then stood there waiting for the rest of the fight, stood his ground like a man, ready to take another beating if necessary. Harvey should have told him then that he was proud of his little brother, glad to see that the boy's balls had finally dropped. But he hadn't. He had sneered, as if the blow stung no worse than a mosquito bite. And then had walked away wordless, still seeing stars.

“Eleven o'clock tonight?” Harvey says.

“Wear dark clothes. And by the way, if you're so much as three minutes late, don't ever come to me again with one of your problems.”

“What makes you so eager all of a sudden?”

“Because if I do say so myself, this is a beautiful plan. I'll derive a great deal of personal satisfaction from sitting back and watching all the pieces fall into place.”

“And what's the end result going to be?”

“That wild hair up your ass is going to be extricated once and for all.”

“Oh yeah? Extricated, huh?”

“And I don't mean just shaved either. I mean plucked. Pulled out by the roots.”

“That sounds like it ought to hurt, but I'm getting the feeling I might actually enjoy the experience.”

“I expect you will, big brother.”

 

Ten hours later Harvey ladles a plateful of pot roast out of the pressure cooker but doesn't really want any of it. He has had no appetite for a good while now, can't remember the last time he paid enough attention to a meal to actually enjoy it.

Before lifting the lid off the pressure cooker he barely glances at the note Jennilee left on his plate,
Taking Mom to the mall. See you around 9. Love you
. Now he sits in his chair in the living room, faces the TV, the plate balanced on his knees. He stares at his reflection for a while in the blackened screen.

 

Jennilee coming into the kitchen wakes Harvey out of a dream of hunting, a dream in which he has gotten separated from his father and brothers in the oak woods. He is awakened by a click that, in his dream, is the snapping of a twig, something crashing toward him from behind. He awakes with a start, looks around, momentarily disoriented. Then he sees the kitchen light on, hears Jennilee tearing off a strip of cellophane to stretch over the leftover pot roast, sliding the bowl into the refrigerator. He closes his eyes again before she comes into the living room; he doesn't want to talk just yet, wants the smell of the woods a while longer.

Jennilee stands there looking down at him. Before she goes upstairs she lays an afghan across him, a knitted blanket of a dozen bright colors, one of many her mother made for them. It is an act of tenderness that almost brings his eyes open, almost causes him to look up at her and smile, except that he thinks she smells different now, the odors of food from another house, wine on her breath, and a vague, fleeting fragrance he can identify only as neither his nor her own.

Upstairs, she showers and brushes her teeth, changes into the satiny panties and matching teddy she likes, turns on the ceiling fan, climbs into bed, turns on the TV. He follows her through the sounds she makes, envisions her careful movements, always so feminine and precise. He feels something like hunger in his belly, but maybe it is the nausea again, that strange and hollow hunger.

At ten-forty he mounts the stairs as quietly as he can, wincing with each creaking step. He peeks around the doorjamb, sees her asleep, curled on her side, her back to the flickering images on the screen. The ceiling fan makes a barely audible thumping sound as it spins. By the time he turns away from her he has goose bumps on his arms.

Downstairs he leaves a note on the kitchen table:
Went over to Will's for a beer or two. Love you
. He knows she will not call to check up on him. She never questions his whereabouts.

Harvey walks at a pace he recognizes as too slow to get him to the bar on time. The stifling darkness weighs him down, pulses in the ache of his bones. Here and there a window dully glows with the pale light from a flickering screen. He thinks to himself that when he was a boy, on a night like this the streets would be full of people. Kids chasing fireflies or playing kick the can. Adults scraping back and forth on their porch swings and gliders. Old folks rocking. These days everybody stays inside breathing air blown out of a box while they stare at another box until narcotized enough to sleep.

He ducks into the alley half expecting to find it deserted. They aren't really going to do this thing anyway. They aren't really going to hurt anybody. But then he sees the two silhouettes, odd shapes of gray against the darker gray of the dumpster. Will has unscrewed the 200-watt bulb over the bar's side door, but Harvey can see well enough to distinguish the silhouettes as two men on lawn chairs, and that is when he thinks,
We are really going to do it. Breaking and entering and who knows what else
. And he pushes his sudden heave of disappointment away.

Will and Stevie sit side by side in front of the dumpster. Between them is a duffel bag with a Steelers logo on the side.

“You're ten minutes late,” Stevie says, his voice too loud to Harvey's ears, startling in the darkness.

Harvey asks, “What's in the bag?”

Will shines a small flashlight on the duffel bag as Stevie zippers it open and lays out the contents on the pavement. Two cans of neon orange spray paint, a long-handled screwdriver, a loop of new nylon rope still in its plastic bag, three pairs of brown cotton work gloves, five magazines. Stevie spreads the magazines out in a fan and Will plays the beam over them long enough for Harvey to see the glossy photo of a half-naked child on each cover.

Then Will flicks off the flashlight. Stevie repacks the bag. “Let's get in the truck,” Will says.

A minute later they crowd into the front seat, Will in the middle with the duffel bag on his lap. Nobody speaks as Stevie starts the engine and heads toward the school at the southern end of town. Then Harvey asks, “Child pornography?”

Stevie snickers. “I had to drive almost fifty miles to get those. Clear to that adult bookstore out by the truck stop on exit forty-one. I was so nervous I thought I was going to piss my pants before I could get back outside.”

Harvey looks at Will's face, relaxed and smiling.

Harvey asks, “Who's watching the bar for you?”

“Giffy,” Will says, naming one of the regulars, a retired steelworker. “There's nobody in tonight except him and that cousin of his from Butler, the one they call Eight-Ball. I told them I wasn't feeling well and had to get some air for a while. Told them they could draw a couple of free pitchers if they promised not to disturb me.”

“What about Lacy?”

“Sleeping the sleep of the innocent.”

Harvey nods. “Jennilee, too.” His mouth tastes chalky; his throat is tight.