The Best Friend (9 page)

For the rest of the week, Lishia played the part of the happy, perky cheerleader as well as the dutiful best friend, always saying and doing the right things—whatever it took to keep Riley content. It was easier that way. Riley never seemed to guess Lishia was acting, and by Friday, thoroughly exhausted, Lishia was thankful the week was finally ending.

“I told Dayton that you and Todd would go to the movies with us tonight,” Riley informed Lishia as she dropped her off.

“But I—”

“No buts, Lishia.” Riley cut her off. “This is the last Friday for a while without a ball game. We need to make the most of it.”

“Why didn't Todd ask me himself?”

“He had to get to basketball practice.”

Lishia knew Todd was on varsity, so that was probably true. They were trying to get ready for next week's first game.

“Dayton said around seven, okay?”

“Okay . . .” Lishia got out of the car and faked a cheerful wave. “See ya!”

Riley zipped off, and Lishia stood there shaking her head. It was as if she had become Riley's slave friend. Lishia would probably never get to have her own opinions, make her own choices . . . it was an awfully high price to pay for a “best” friend. But there seemed no way out. As Lishia went in the house, she remembered how she used to complain about Janelle sometimes. Janelle had been stubborn and even a pain at times, but she was an angel compared to Riley. Being best friends with Riley was a nightmare. A never-ending nightmare.

Y
ou seem different,” Todd told Lishia as he walked her to the door after their double date with Riley and Dayton.

“How so?” she asked absently.

“I don't know.” He frowned. “But you're not the same fun-loving girl you used to be.” He grinned. “Remember my birthday party and how we ran from the cops?”

“Shhh . . .” She put a finger over her lips. “I don't want my parents hearing that.”

“See.” He nodded. “You are different.”

“Maybe I'm just tired.”

He shrugged. “Yeah . . . maybe.”

“Thanks for the movie and everything,” she told him as she reached for the doorknob.

“Sure.” He stepped back and shook his head like he was disappointed.

“I'm sorry you think I'm different,” she told him.

“Hey, you can't help what you are.” He gave a plastic-looking smile. “See ya around, Lish.” Then he turned and jogged back to the car. As she watched him go, she knew it was over. Her chance to be Todd's girl had just blown up in her face. She knew it was her own stupid fault, but the truth was, she didn't really care. It was as if it was all too much.

Trying to keep up the cheerleader happy face, trying to play Riley's loyal best friend . . . it was all sucking the life out of her. She had no energy left to play Todd's fun-loving girlfriend. And although part of her felt like crying, the larger part of her felt numb . . . and dead. She knew she had disconnected herself from God and that there was no point in taking her troubles to him. As a result, she felt more alone than ever.

“What happened between you and Todd?” Riley demanded on the phone the next day.

“Nothing.”

“But he said you guys broke up.”

“Then I guess we did.” Lishia flopped down on her bed and sighed.

“Why?”

“I don't know why . . . it just wasn't working.”

“But Todd's a great guy—and he and Dayton are such good friends. I had plans for us to go to prom together and—”

“Prom? That's, like, months away, Riley. I can't even wrap my head around next week.”

“Speaking of next week, Amanda called and wants to have a practice at her house. She says we need to work on that halftime routine and I agree. I'll pick you up at four thirty, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No.” Lishia tried to perk up her voice. “I was just sleepy.”

“See you at four thirty.”

Lishia agreed and closed her phone. She had really hoped to go to youth group tonight—she knew she needed it, maybe more than ever. But if practice lasted the usual couple of hours, she would be cutting it pretty close. Still, maybe it was possible. Lishia opened her phone and punched Megan Bernard's number. Megan had been nagging Lishia all week—okay, maybe
nagging
was the wrong word—Megan had been
encouraging
Lishia to return to youth group. And yesterday Lishia had promised to try.

“Hey, Megan,” she said cheerfully. “You still want to give me a ride to youth group tonight?”

“Sure.” Megan sounded a little skeptical. “You really want to come?”

“I do. But I have cheerleading practice at Amanda's house. Would you mind picking me up there?”

“This isn't a trick, is it?”

“No, of course not. Practice will probably end around seven. I know that will make us a few minutes late. Do you mind?”

“No, that's okay.”

Lishia told her the address. “And I'd really like to talk to you, Megan.”

“To me?”

“Well, I need to talk to someone . . . someone who's a Christian, you know?”

“You can talk to me,” Megan said.

“It's just that I'm feeling, well, kinda trapped.”

“Trapped? How?”

“It's this whole cheerleader thing. I guess I kinda feel like I got on this crazy roller-coaster ride and I don't know how to get off.”

“You want to quit being a cheerleader?” Megan sounded shocked.

“I don't know . . . I'm not even sure. I guess I wonder how I can possibly be a cheerleader
and
a Christian. You know?”

“I guess I get that. But we are supposed to be lights in dark places. Maybe that's what you're doing. Besides, Amanda Jorgenson always claims to be a Christian, so it's not like you're alone.”

“I know, but it's still hard. And being Riley's friend isn't easy either.” Lishia knew she was saying a lot . . . maybe too much.

“Well, Riley has always been kind of manipulative, if you know what I mean.”

“I guess . . .” Lishia stopped herself from saying how she really felt.

“I can understand how it might be hard being a Christian while you were Riley's best friend. I mean, that girl could probably influence you in some pretty bad directions, especially if you weren't careful.” Megan paused. “But I don't want you to accuse me of gossiping again. I actually took what you said to heart. There's a fine line between repeating gossip and stating the truth. Several of us girls had a long talk with Raymond about this.” Raymond was their youth pastor, and Lishia had always respected his opinions.

“What did he say?”

“He said one way to figure out if something is gossip or not was to ask yourself, ‘Would I say this if the person I'm talking about was listening?'”

“That's good advice.”

“So here is what I'd say if Riley was—” She stopped suddenly. “She's not listening, is she?”

“No, of course not.”

“Okay, I'll have to trust you. I'd say Riley is probably a nice person, but she sometimes gives me the impression that she's using people to get what she wants. I could be wrong, but I've known Riley since middle school, and she hurt me a few times then and a few times since. I've learned to keep my distance from girls like that.”

“Oh . . .”

“You have good friends in youth group,” Megan told her. “Janelle and—”

“Janelle dumped me, remember?”

“Janelle said she didn't dump you. She said you got hurt because she wanted to include Chelsea as a friend and—”

“Janelle and Chelsea are best friends now. Or haven't you noticed?”

“Well, I guess that's true. But it's only because you stepped out of the picture. And Chelsea is really nice. If you got to know her, I'm sure you'd like her.”

“What makes you so sure?” Lishia was feeling aggravated now.

“Well, if you can get along with someone like Riley, I should think Chelsea would be pretty refreshing. She's a strong Christian, and she's honest and kind and—”

“You know, I didn't call you to hear you singing Chelsea's praises, Megan. But thanks for—”

“Sorry, I'm just saying you have good friends at youth group. There's me and Grayson and Chase and—”

“Thanks, Megan. I know you're trying to help me, but maybe this is all a bad idea.” Lishia was pacing back and forth in her bedroom now.

“What's a bad idea?” Megan sounded hurt.

“Me coming to youth group with you. Maybe I'm really not ready for that.” The truth was, Lishia was getting scared. She knew these kids well enough to know that they would see through her. They might even do something like offer to pray for her, and she could end up breaking down in tears and spilling the whole story. Then everyone would know!

“What did I say?” Megan asked helplessly. “I'm sorry if I stepped on your toes. You know me and my big mouth. Please, come to youth group with me, Lishia. You won't be sorry.”

“I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, I do have practice, and sometimes we run late. I might end up making you so late that it wouldn't even be worth going. No, tonight's not a good night. Thanks, Megan. Maybe I can make it next week.”

“But Lishia!”

“No, I've made up my mind. I can't do it tonight. But I'll think about it for next week. Thanks, Megan. Later!” Lishia hung up and flopped back onto her bed. That was close! What had she been thinking? Of course, she couldn't show up at youth group and expect that her friends could help her without her spilling all the beans in front of them. Seriously, had she lost her ever-loving mind?

Lishia felt like she was going to throw up on Friday afternoon. To kick off basketball season, the school had a big pep assembly. It would be her first time performing as a varsity cheerleader, and she knew she was going to either fall on her face or fall completely apart.

“I can't do this,” she muttered from the bathroom stall where she was holed up.

“Yes, you can,” Riley hissed at her. “And you will!”

“Come on,” Vanessa urged. “It's almost time to start.”

“I can't,” Lishia sobbed. “I'm sick.”

“You are not sick,” Riley snapped. “You're just a chicken.”

“I'm going out there now,” Vanessa said angrily. “I'll see if I can get Amanda to stall a couple minutes, but if you're not there in five minutes, we're going on without you, Lishia. So get it together!”

“Come on,” Riley commanded. “You're going to do this, Lishia, even if I have to drag you out myself.”

“I can't.”

“Stop being such a baby and come on!”

Lishia tore off a long strip of toilet paper and loudly blew her nose. “I wish I were dead,” she mumbled.

“That could be arranged.”

“Thanks.”

“Look, Lishia, it's just the jitters,” Riley's voice turned patient. “Everyone gets them. You have to ignore them. You've done really great in practice. Everyone says you're really good. And your jumps have gotten really spectacular. I've actually been a little jealous.”

“Really?” Lishia sniffed.

“Yes, so come on. Let's just do this. You'll get it over with and you'll never feel like this again. I promise.”

Lishia unlocked the door, and Riley jerked it open. “Now, come on!” She grabbed Lishia's arm and dragged her out. “Let's run.”

Just as they entered the gym, the other cheerleaders from both varsity and JV ran out onto the floor with pom-poms in hand, getting into formation for the opening fight song routine that they were all supposed to perform together. Lishia and Riley ran out with them, and following everyone's lead, Lishia pasted a confident smile onto her face and took her place, and suddenly the jazz band was blasting out the fight song.

Focus
, Lishia told herself as she counted the beats in her head and started in with the initial moves. She knew she wasn't giving a spectacular performance, but at least she was keeping time—and remembering the routine. A rush of relief swept over her as the song ended and they all did some jumps, trying to generate spirit and enthusiasm from the crowd.

The dance team came to the floor, preparing to do a routine while the JV cheerleaders got ready to do their skit. After the dance routine, the varsity cheerleaders took the floor again. This time Lishia felt a little more confident, but barely into the routine, she hit a slick spot on the gym floor and slipped, landing smack on her bottom, which sent the crowd into laughter. Naturally, the rest of the squad continued without her. She quickly got to her feet and, with a reddening face, attempted to get back into the yell, but she never quite made it.

“Way to go, Vance,” someone in the stands yelled out as they finished. Lishia wanted to run, but she knew that wasn't going to work.

“Shake it off,” Riley hissed in her ear. “Just smile. Act like you don't care and they won't care either.”

During the JV skit, Lishia tried to get her head together, but all she could think was that this was all wrong—so wrong! What had ever made her think she wanted this—or had she even? She couldn't even remember. But now it was time to do another dance routine as the varsity basketball team came out to do some drills and get the crowd going.

Lishia tried to look happy, but she felt like a woodenheaded puppet as she went through the paces. Did anyone else know how ridiculous she felt? How silly all these moves and routines were . . . as if their gyrations could actually help the basketball team this year. Everyone knew they were ranked at the bottom of their league.