The Best Man for the Job (15 page)

He didn’t know what to say to that. How could he retract the offer of his house now? When she’d obviously put a lot of thought into these decisions. These life-changing decisions.

Made because of him. Made possibly because of the night they’d just spent together. Damn, now—too late—he remembered why sex with her was a bad idea. It was never going to be just sex. It was potentially life-changing and he didn’t want lives changed. Not hers, especially not his.

‘There are a couple of other things you ought to know, Marcus.’

‘What?’ he muttered, feeling a cold sweat break out all over his skin because one night of spectacular sex and she was turning into someone he wasn’t sure he could handle.

‘Firstly, I’m in love with you.’

He froze, went numb for a moment before his entire body filled with dread, dragging him down. ‘And secondly?’ he said, sounding as if he were deep under water. Which maybe he was, because he certainly felt as if he were drowning, because he knew what was coming next.

‘Secondly, I think you might be in love with me too.’

The room tilted, spun, and if he hadn’t already been lying down he’d have crashed to the floor. He felt sick. Weak. His brain imploding with the effort of denying it.

‘I’m sorry, Celia,’ he said, his head a mess and his throat tight and the word
escape
flashing in his brain in great big neon letters, ‘but I can’t do this.’

‘Can’t do what?’ she said calmly.

‘This.’ He waved a hand between the two of them, struggling to keep a lid on the panic. ‘I’m not in love with you.’

She nodded. ‘OK, look, Marcus, I get that this has all probably come as a bit of a shock to you, and I know how the idea of being in love terrifies you, so if you need to leave, that’s fine. If you need some time to figure out how you feel and what you want that’s also fine. I can wait. Not for ever,’ she said with a soft smile that he didn’t understand at all because he couldn’t think of a situation that less required a smile, ‘but I can wait.’

FOURTEEN

‘So what’s
going on, Marcus? First you knock up my sister and then you abandon her? On what planet is that OK?’

At Dan’s words—spoken so casually, so conversationally and a mere couple of metres to the right of him—Marcus froze. For the briefest of seconds his concentration shook and his foot slipped. His shoulders wrenched and the muscles in his arms screamed and he had to grit his teeth against the sudden shocking pain. Cursing his so-called friend with what little breath he had, he strengthened his grip on the crimps and jammed his foot back into position.

Trust Dan to wait until they were halfway up a wall and thirty feet off the ground before launching his attack. They’d met up around half an hour ago, and at any point since then he could have brought it up, but no, as the owner of one of London’s most successful advertising agencies, Dan was all about maximum impact.

‘I wouldn’t put it quite like that,’ Marcus muttered, although that was exactly what he’d done.

‘Then how would you put it?’ said Dan, swinging his arm up and latching onto a sloper.

Marcus braced himself and hitched himself up a foot and absolutely refused to wince as his shoulder protested. ‘I needed a bit of time and space to figure some stuff out.’

‘What could take a month?’ Dan asked through gritted teeth. ‘I only took a fortnight.’

Well, now, wasn’t that the question of the century? thought Marcus, stopping for a moment to catch his breath. Why was it taking so long to work out? As Dan had said, it had been four long, agonising weeks, and he was still no closer to unravelling the mess inside his head than he had been when he’d walked out of—no,
fled,
would be a better description for the way he’d left—Celia’s flat.

‘Just stuff,’ he muttered.

‘Ah,’ said Dan knowingly, grabbing his water bottle, unscrewing the lid and taking a glug. ‘Stuff. Gotcha.’

They stayed there like that for a moment, breathing hard and rehydrating as Marcus tried to figure out what it was Dan thought he knew, until he couldn’t bear the thundering silence any longer. ‘Anyway, Celia was the one who suggested I take a break,’ he said, as if that made what he was doing all fine.

‘I doubt she meant quite this long.’

Marcus did too. And that simply added guilt and shame to the chaos in his head. ‘Have you seen her?’ he asked.

Dan leaned back into his harness and wiped his brow. ‘Yup.’

‘How is she?’

‘Getting big. Looks a bit tired but other than that, fine.’

‘Good.’

‘She resigned, you know.’

‘She mentioned she was going to.’

‘And she’s started house-hunting.’

Marcus winced, but Dan carried on regardless. ‘You know, I knew she was making a mistake thinking you’d stick around,’ he said.

Marcus stared at him and nearly dropped his water bottle. What the hell? He
was
sticking around. Of course he was. He was just trying to figure out how. And coming up with a blank because how was he supposed to keep himself safe if he saw her all the time?

‘She said you’d decided to face up to your responsibilities and was actually quite strident in her defence of you. But I had my doubts.’

Marcus felt his chest tighten. She’d defended him? When was the last time anyone had defended him? Been on his side the way she was?

‘And actually I don’t blame you,’ Dan continued, ‘because being tied to Celia for the rest of your life? That’s not something I’d wish on anyone, least of all my best mate.’

OK, that was enough. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he snapped.

‘I know I’m her brother, but that doesn’t make me blind to her faults. I love her to pieces but she can be difficult. She’s stubborn and uncompromising and as tough as nails.’

‘She’s not any of that,’ said Marcus grimly, feeling his heart begin to thump and his head pound.

‘No?’

‘No,’ he said even more grimly.

‘Then what is she?’

Fabulous. That was what she was. Brave, loyal, clever, brilliant and gorgeous. The mother of his child and the woman he was head over heels in love with.

As the truth of it broke free from the shackles he’d bound it with, his head swam, his vision blurred, his muscles weakened, without intending to he let go of the wall.

Down he fell. Down, down, down. Jerking to a juddering halt a metre from the ground. Every bone in his body jarred. Every muscle screamed. But his head was clearer than it had been for weeks.

He’d spent the past month trying to work out how to resist falling in love with Celia but what was the point when it had already happened? He might have been in free fall only a moment ago, but his heart had been in free fall for weeks, month, years probably.

He was nuts about her. Well, of course he was, because how could he not be? She was the most amazing woman he’d ever met and the time he’d spent with her had been the best, most stimulating, fun time of his life.

She was the only woman he wanted to commit to, and not just because she was having his baby. The only woman he could ever imagine living with, loving, till death did them part, which would hopefully be later rather than sooner. They were having a child together, going to be a family, if he hadn’t totally screwed things up.

It wasn’t the fact that Celia had told him she loved him that had put the fear of God into him. No. That made him feel as if he were on top of the world, as if he were the strongest, bravest, best man in the world.

It was the fact that she’d suggested that he was in love with her. He hadn’t wanted it to be true because he’d always thought of love as dangerous. Treacherous. Life destroying and very much not for him.

But maybe it didn’t have to be like that. Maybe it could be as lovely as Celia had said. She’d scared the life out of him when she’d told him that he was in love with her, but really what was there to be scared of? Dan seemed to be doing all right.

Maybe when it came down to it, there came a time when you had to stop wallowing in the past and get on with things. Like life. And maybe that time was now.

‘Are you all right?’ said Dan, who’d abseiled down the wall and was looking shocked and a bit pale.

‘Never felt better,’ said Marcus, now burning with the need to sort out the utter balls-up he’d made of things.

‘Are you sure? No whiplash? Torn muscles?’

The only muscle tearing was his heart, because when he thought of what Celia must be going through because of his thick-headed selfishness it made him physically
hurt.

‘I’m fine.’

‘You scared the life out of me.’

‘Sorry.’

‘That’s all right. Anyway it’s only fair since I probably scared the life out of you.’

Ah, thought Marcus as it all became clear. His friend, with all his talk of love and marriage happening to him one day, all that nonsense about Celia being tough and difficult and uncompromising prodding him into accepting the truth, was more perceptive than he’d ever given him credit for.

‘Thanks, Dan,’ he said, lowering himself to the floor and unbuckling his harness.

‘No problem,’ said Dan with a broad grin. ‘First Kit, now you. What can I say? It’s a gift. In fact I ought to start charging.’

‘Then send me the bill. Right now, though, I need to go.’

* * *

When she’d told Marcus she’d wait, Celia had assumed he’d need maybe a week to realise he was in love with her and come to terms with it. A fortnight at the most. But here she was a month after he’d walked out on her and she still hadn’t heard a word.

She’d started off so patient, so calm and confident, absolutely certain that she’d done the right thing in putting the ‘love’ thing out there for him to confront, but as the days had dragged by and he still hadn’t come to find her her calm had shattered, her confidence had crumbled and she’d slowly fallen apart inside.

The past week had been agony. She’d thought love sounded lovely, but it wasn’t. It hurt like hell. She only had to think of him and she physically ached. Something would happen, something she’d do, and she’d want to tell him. The first time she’d felt the baby kick, the job offer she’d received, the stupid mobile she’d bought for a nursery that she didn’t yet have... She’d picked up the phone. And then had to put it down again, her heart wrenching and her eyes stinging.

And while outwardly she put on a good front, catching up with friends, keeping doctor’s appointments and house-hunting, her heart had broken piece by tiny piece. Until now there was practically nothing left of it.

Nothing left of anything really, she thought miserably. She was all out of anger at his obstinacy. All out of frustration. And all out of hope.

She’d been so stupid. So naive. Had she really thought she’d be able to defeat his strength of will? Had she really been so arrogant as to presume she knew what he was feeling?

If only she hadn’t resigned. Then at least she’d be working, keeping so busy that she wouldn’t have time to think about him. But she had, and as a result she’d thought about little else, wondering what he was doing, who he was with, and driving herself mad by going over that last conversation and beating herself up with regret over pushing him too hard too soon, wishing so much she hadn’t done it.

But she couldn’t change any of it. All she could do was learn to live with it and hope that by Kit and Lily’s wedding next weekend she’d have built up enough strength to handle seeing him.

It wasn’t as if she’d be able to drink herself into oblivion to get through it, was it? So maybe she’d take a date. If she could find one who didn’t mind her five-months-pregnant belly. Maybe she’d hire someone instead. Someone witty and gorgeous and who’d pretend to be utterly devoted to her. Someone who’d show Marcus that she wasn’t missing him. Wasn’t thinking about him. Wasn’t—

The buzzer buzzed and Celia jumped. She cast a quick glance at the clock and frowned. She was going out with friends tonight in an effort to perk herself up, but the taxi she’d ordered was an hour early. Damn. Maybe she’d given the wrong time. A couple of months ago she’d never have made such a mistake but now it felt as if she was making them all the time.

Whatever had gone wrong, she wasn’t anywhere near ready. She was still in her dressing gown, make-up free and her hair was still wet. She wasn’t going anywhere for a while, so with a sigh she walked over to the intercom and lifted the handset.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘there’s been a bit of a mix-up. Could you come back in an hour?’

‘No mix-up,’ said the voice at the other end, a voice that made her breath catch, shivers run up and down her spine, goosebumps break out all over her skin and her heart lurch. ‘And as I can’t wait an hour, or even another minute really, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to come up.’

Celia’s heart began to thump as her head swam and emotions like joy, relief, love and hope began to surge through her. Oh, God, this was what she’d been waiting for for so,
so
long. He was here. At last. And in all the scenarios she’d envisaged she was looking immaculate and composed instead of a washed-out wreck, but it didn’t matter. He was here, and that was all that counted.

Unless, of course, he was here to tell her that she’d been wrong, she thought, her heart suddenly plummeting and all those lovely feelings vanishing. That while he’d always be there for the baby he’d never be able to be there for her. That he didn’t love her and never would. Because of what happened with his parents. Because he was as stubborn as a mule, because... Well, because of just about anything, really.

Ordering herself to get a grip before she got hysterical, Celia pulled herself together. Whatever the reason he was here she wanted to know, and the only way she was going to do that was by letting him in. So, reminding herself that she’d be wise to keep her emotions in check and her face blank, even if it killed her, she took a deep breath and pressed the buzzer.

* * *

Marcus pushed open the downstairs door and felt a wave of relief sweep over him. He was in. That was a start. Now for the hard bit.

He jogged up the stairs, his heart beating hard and fast, which had nothing to do with the energy needed to climb four flights of stairs and everything to do with the woman at the top of them.

Who was standing there, looking neither ecstatic nor horrified to see him, merely inscrutable. And so utterly, gorgeously magnificent he couldn’t believe he’d taken so long to realise just how much he loved her.

‘Marcus,’ she said coolly.

‘Hello, Celia,’ he said, not fazed by the coolness one little bit because what with the idiotic, selfish way he’d been behaving he hadn’t expected anything less.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘I’ve come to see you.’

‘Clearly,’ she said witheringly. ‘However, I’m about to go out.’

‘Not for another hour.’

She frowned. ‘OK, fine. What do you want?’

‘How have you been?’

‘Me?’ she said, looking a little surprised at the change of conversational direction. ‘Oh, absolutely fine.’

‘And the baby?’

‘Fine too.’

‘What have you been up to?’

‘Well, I resigned.’

‘I heard.’

‘So I’ve been relaxing.’

‘About time.’

‘And learning to cook.’

He grinned. ‘How’s that going?’

‘Messy. I’m a long way off roast beef with all the trimmings, but I’m getting there.’

‘I can’t wait to try it.’

She arched an eyebrow as if to suggest there wasn’t a hope in hell of that, and if it hadn’t been for the desire in her eyes, the faint blush that stained her cheeks and the way she was tightening the belt on her dressing gown he’d be worrying that he was too late. That he’d lost her and she’d already moved on.

‘I’ve been offered a job that I think I might take.’

God, he was
so
proud of her. ‘Congratulations.’

‘Thank you. I’ve also put an offer in on a house.’

Marcus went still. Well, hell,
that
wasn’t happening. ‘Withdraw it,’ he said.

Her eyebrows shot up. ‘What? No. It’s in a great location, has loads of space and a lovely garden.’

‘So does mine.’