The Best Man's Bride (14 page)

Or force himself
not
to feel something he did. But he had to try to get over her. He couldn’t do it here in Cloverville where he’d probably see her every day, no matter if he stayed in her brother’s guest room or Josh’s freshly painted one.

“I have to leave.”

She slid her hands over his face, her palms soft against his skin. “It’s okay. I’m used to people leaving me.”

“I wish things could be different. I wish I could be different for you. I wish I could be the man you deserve.” Someone she’d fall in love with and love forever. But he wasn’t half the man his brother had been. Half the man Josh was. If women couldn’t love those two men forever, he didn’t have a chance.

The words on the page blurred as Colleen hunched over the library table and tried to read the book she’d picked up. But there were no receptive listeners here. She read silently, evaluating the story as one she might bring to the hospital. If she dared to go back to the hospital…

She knew why Nick had left Cloverville—to get away from her. If she followed him back to Grand Rapids, he would think she was chasing him, just as he feared. He would think she wanted more from him than he could give.

And he’d be right.

Everyone, even his best friend, had warned her about Nick Jameson’s aversion to love and commitment, but still she’d fallen in love. She understood his reasons for remaining uninvolved. After seeing a woman crush the older brother he’d idolized and watching two other women betray his best friend, he didn’t trust any woman to keep her promises. And he probably had more reason to mistrust her than most women. She’d kept secrets; she’d acted impulsively. But falling for Nick Jameson had been the most impulsive thing she’d ever done.

“Stupid, stupid,” she murmured, pressing the heel of her palm against her forehead.

“Hey, don’t talk about my sister that way,” whispered a feminine voice from behind Colleen’s shoulder.

Colleen’s heart leaped with relief as she whipped her head around. “Molly!”

“Shh…” The command came from her sister’s lips, not the librarian who slumped behind the front desk, snoring. Colleen and Molly were the only ones—awake—in the library this late in the evening.

Colleen pushed her chair back from the table and launched herself at her older sister, pulling the smaller woman into her arms. “Thank God, you’re home!”

“Yes, I’m home.” Molly pulled back and glanced around the library as if it were the sanctuary she’d been seeking.

But Colleen doubted her sister had spent the entire week and a half she’d been gone inside these walls. “So did you leave town? We all thought you were with Eric.”

“I don’t want to talk about Eric,” Molly said, her eyes clouding with sadness.

Obviously Colleen wasn’t the only McClintock with a seriously hurting heart. She didn’t want to pry, but Eric had been a friend too long for her not to ask. “Is he okay?”

Molly sighed. “Yes. Poor Colleen, you always had a crush on him.”

“Poor Eric,” she sympathized. “He always had a crush on you.”

Her big eyes damp with misery, she said, “Not anymore.”

“What’s going on, Molly?”

With dark circles rimming her brown eyes and her usually honey-toned skin pale, Molly looked more than three years older than Colleen. Unlike Colleen, who wore her usual work uniform of a blouse and skirt, Molly had on a knit and lace camisole with jean shorts, probably something she’d packed for her honeymoon. She’d had the suitcase in her car when she’d run away from the church, from her wedding.

“Are you okay?” Colleen asked, still amazed that Molly—sensible, responsible Molly—had taken off the way she had: out a window minutes before she was supposed to have walked down the aisle and said,
I do.

Her sister nodded, dark curls bouncing around her bare shoulders. “Yes. I’m fine. I’m really sorry…”

“No, you don’t need to apologize. You’ve been under so much pressure for years, with college and medical school. Sometimes you just need to take off.” No one understood that better than Colleen. “So your time alone—it worked?” she asked. “You figured out what you want?”

Molly nodded again. “I figured it out, but that doesn’t mean I’ll get it.”

“So what do you want?” Eric?

Her eyes shimmering, Molly shook her head. “Can we talk about it later?” she asked as she settled onto the edge of the table near where Colleen had piled books. She picked up one of them and glanced at the title. “You’re picking out books to read the kids at the hospital?”

Colleen nodded. She was picking them out, but she didn’t know if she’d actually get to read them.

“Good choices,” Molly approved. She’d always loved books and had passed that love on to her younger sister by reading to her and then teaching her to read when they were kids. Her voice hesitant, Molly asked, “So you’ve seen Josh?”

“Not at the hospital,” Colleen said. She wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been there. “Josh is still on…”

Molly’s face flushed with color. “Our honeymoon?”

Colleen shook her head. She hadn’t known their honeymoon destination. “He didn’t go anywhere. He stayed in Cloverville, him and Buzz and TJ.”

“Where has he stayed?” Molly asked, her voice shaky with nerves. “Our house?”

She’d obviously not been home yet.

“With the Kellys,” Colleen said, “but just until he gets the Manning house livable for him and the boys.”

“He bought the Manning house?” Obviously she and her groom hadn’t talked all that much before their wedding and not at all after their wedding-that-wasn’t. Maybe he’d intended the house as a surprise though, as a wedding present.

“Josh is moving here,” Colleen reminded her sister, letting her know that Molly running out on him hadn’t changed his plans. “He and Nick are opening their office. It’ll be done soon.” And then Nick would be back in Cloverville, on the other side of town. She doubted he’d stop by the insurance office or the park again. He wouldn’t want to run the risk of seeing her.

“I’ve made such a mess of things,” Molly said, shaking her head as she grimaced in self-disgust.

Colleen laughed.

“Hey, it’s not funny!”

Colleen held up her palms in a placating gesture. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m used to you being perfect and me being the screwup.”

“
I’ve
never been the perfect one,” Molly insisted. “There’s only been one perfect McClintock.”

“Clayton?”

Molly shook her head. “No, he can be a real pain in the ass. Especially for Abby.”

That had changed, but Abby should be the one to share the news of her engagement with her friend. Colleen suppressed the grin at the thought of Abby becoming her sister-in-law. For years, she’d already felt like her sister.

“And the perfect McClintock is certainly not Rory,” Molly continued, “the little hellion.”

Colleen defended her younger brother. “He’s actually started to straighten up.” Since their talk that night on the back patio.

“I was talking about you, Colleen. You’ve always been the perfect one.”

She’d forgotten that one person still didn’t know her secret. “I’m a long way from perfect, Mol. There’s something you don’t know—”

“I know about you and the colonel,” Molly interrupted.

“Abby told you?”

She shook her head. “No, Abby would take a friend’s secret to her grave.
You
told us. You were so miserable and guilty when she took off.” Molly squeezed her shoulder. “She was going to leave anyway, she’d always planned to take off, but we couldn’t convince you of that.”

“So you
all
knew my secret?” she asked.

“That secret,” she said dismissively as if it hadn’t mattered.

And Colleen finally realized that it really hadn’t. Abby was fine. Everyone was fine but her.

“Tell me your new secret,” Molly urged. As her older sister, she must have instinctively picked up that Colleen had another one.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Colleen said, stalling.

“Tell me what has you sitting alone in the library, trying not to cry,” her sister persisted.

Colleen forced a smile. “I’m not crying.”

Molly arched an eyebrow, obviously not buying Colleen’s claim.

“Really.”

“What’s his name?” Molly asked.

After keeping one for so long, apparently for no good reason, Colleen was sick of secrets, so she took a deep breath and spilled. “Nick.”

Molly’s eyes widened with sympathy. “Oh, no, it’s worse than I thought.”

“Certainly hopeless,” Colleen agreed.

“Then, you know—” her sister pitched her voice low “—how he feels about marriage?”

Colleen glanced toward the librarian, who slept on, and after that she didn’t bother whispering her fatalistic “Yes.”

“But you still fell for him,” Molly concluded.

“Like I told you, I’m a long way from perfect.”

“No, you’re human, Colleen. And we can’t help who we fall in love with.” Molly slid off the table to settle wearily into one of the wing chairs, which was upholstered in a book-patterned fabric. “I realize that now.”

“You know, I seriously think he could love me, too.” Colleen had begun to see herself as he had. She was beautiful. She was smart. Loving. “He just has to let himself.”

Molly blinked hard, as if fighting tears of her own, when she commiserated, “Men can be so damned stubborn.”

Colleen nodded in agreement. “I know.”

Molly squeezed her hand in sympathy. “I’m so sorry, honey, that you’re hurting.”

“It’s okay.” And she realized that it was. “I’m strong enough to handle a broken heart.” Too bad it had taken a broken heart for her to realize exactly how strong she was.

“D
R
. J
AMESON, YOU CAME
back from your vacation early,” remarked one of the nurses as he approached the nursing station outside the surgery waiting rooms.

He didn’t know her name. He’d always made it a point to never learn them. Now he glanced at the tag on her scrubs. “Melanie. I wanted to be back at work.”

“I thought you were going into private practice. Or has that changed now that…”

“No. Dr. Towers and I are still opening our own office. But I’ll continue to be on staff here.”

“For surgeries, of course.”

“And on call.” He couldn’t cut back on his hours as Josh planned to do. He had no little boys to fill his time. An image of Colleen’s face, animated, as she read to Buzz and TJ flashed through his mind—one of the many images of her he carried with him, even though he’d left her behind. Someday, she’d be a wonderful mother.

“I heard about what happened,” Melanie said quietly, and glanced around the bustling corridor, “with Dr. Towers’s wedding, being jilted right at the altar like that. Is he all right?”

Finally fully believing it himself, Nick assured her, “He’ll be fine.”

He wasn’t so sure about himself, though. Getting back to work had done nothing to help him get over his feelings for Colleen. Because even though she wasn’t at the hospital, he could imagine her there. He could almost feel her presence, her sweet, generous energy.

“I don’t really know Molly McClintock,” the nurse continued. “She hasn’t been volunteering here as long as her younger sister, and being in med school she’s not around that often.”

“Colleen.” His heart clenched. It hurt just to say her name.

“Yes, Colleen.” Melanie’s voice warmed with affection. “I hope she comes back soon. The kids are asking for her. They really miss her.”

The kids weren’t the only ones.

She laughed. “Not just the kids are missing her.”

Had he gotten that easy to read?

“Dr. Adams keeps asking when she’s coming back.”

“Dr. Adams is married.” And at least twice her age. He fisted his hands, tempted to go find Dr. Adams.

Melanie nodded seriously in agreement, even as her eyes gleamed with excitement at this chance for gossip. “That hasn’t stopped him from asking her out.”

Nick regretted that he hadn’t listened to gossip before. “Is he the only one?” he asked.

“Who’s asked out Colleen?” She laughed, then lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. She rivaled Mr. Carpenter and Mrs. Hild. “Not hardly. I think every male in the hospital has asked her out.” Her face colored. “Well, except for you.”

“Yes, except for me.” He’d been a fool to never notice her before.

“Colleen reminds me of you,” Melanie remarked.

He was aware they had a lot in common, but he wondered about the nurse’s observation. “How’s that?”

“She never accepted any of those invitations, so she must have decided, like you, not to date anyone from the hospital.”

He’d considered that one of his smarter decisions until now. By ignoring Colleen until the wedding, he’d wasted so much time. And he’d wasted even more since he’d left Cloverville. Distance wasn’t going to make a difference; it wasn’t going to weaken or erase his feelings for her.

He’d long ago come to the same conclusion as Melanie, that he and Colleen had a lot in common. For far too long they had both lived with pain over the losses in their past. They had allowed fear to affect their future. If they figured out how to let it go—the pain
and
the fear—could they have a future together?

“I’m sorry, Doctor,” the nurse said, “I’ve rambled on and on, and I know how you hate gossip. I must have bored you to death talking about Colleen McClintock.”

Nothing about Colleen would ever bore him. “It’s fine. Really,” he assured her.

“You had a question for me.”

He could barely remember what it was. “Yeah, I’d like to talk to the paramedics who brought in Westin.”

“Was there a problem?” she asked, her expression guarded as if protecting one of them. “I thought the surgery went well, that he’ll have a full recovery.”

“There’s no problem at all,” he explained. “Whoever worked on him at the scene of the accident saved his leg, at least, but probably his life, too. Damned fine work.” He’d seen work like that before and figured the paramedic had more medical training than just his Emergency Medical Tech courses. He’d just been too self-absorbed—as Colleen had accused herself of being—to seek out and compliment the paramedic.

“That was Eric South.”

He’d heard the name before—on Colleen’s lips. Jealousy dimmed some of his admiration for the guy, the one on whom Colleen had had her first crush. His every thought always came back to her. Nick’s pulse quickened.

“He might still be in the staff lounge. His shift was over, but he waited for word on how Westin’s surgery went. I let him know you were your usual brilliant self,” she gushed.

He ignored her compliment and headed toward the lounge. He paused in the doorway, letting a couple of nurses pass him on their way out. They hesitated, as if trying to catch his attention, but he ignored them, too.

Only one person occupied the lounge now. A guy with dark blond hair stood in front of the coffeepot, his back to Nick. “Eric?”