The Black Diamond (25 page)

"Hugh died quite young," Courtney murmured. "If I recall correctly, Slayde told me it happened his first year at Oxford. Are you saying that as a result of Julian's loss and the pain it incited, he cut himself off emotionally?"

"Yes. But I think it goes far deeper than that." Aurora frowned. "Courtney, Hugh was sickly all his life. Julian spent much of his childhood coming to grips with the fact that there was nothing he could do to change the reality of his brother's frailty, that no matter how hard he prayed, he couldn't transfer his own vigor to Hugh. He felt helpless and guilty. I think there's a part of my husband that feels responsible for Hugh's death—not for causing it, but for being unable to prevent it. He's never been the same since Hugh died. I believe the reason for that is because, upon Hugh's death, Julian lost not only the sole person who mattered to him, but a piece of himself as well."

"Poor Julian." Courtney's eyes softened with compassion. "No wonder he chose the path of an adventurer. 'Tis far easier to remain detached when you never stay still long enough to face others … or yourself."

"Exactly. And he's managed to accomplish precisely that—up until now, that is. Coincident with Julian's homecoming, everything changed. He's been plunged into the heart of his past and his pain."

"By whom?"

"His father."

"Lawrence?" Courtney gasped. "What impact could that monster possibly have on Julian's life now? He's dead!"

"But his cruelty is very much alive. He's blackmailing Julian into doing his bidding, using Julian's feelings for Hugh as bait." Aurora proceeded to explain the terms of Lawrence's will and their effect on her husband. "Julian is driven. He's fighting to redeem himself in a way that has nothing to do with his father's rejection and everything to do with his own sense of guilt and loss."

"No wonder Julian is so consumed with finding that diamond," Courtney realized aloud.

"And why, once he has, he'll resume his life as it was," Aurora added bleakly.

"With one exception: now he has a wife. A wife he elected—no, fought—to marry, one with whom he'll doubtless prefer to roam the globe."

"So long as all she demands of him is to share his adventures and his bed."

"But not his love."

"Exactly. You yourself just said he'll never stand still long enough to put down roots or—heaven help him—fall in love."

"All the more reason why it's up to you to make him stand still long enough for that to happen."

"What?" Aurora's head came up.

"You heard me," Courtney stated flatly. "Aurora, you, better than anyone, know that winning Slayde over was a monumental challenge. He was determined for the Huntley name, along with that detestable curse, to die with him. To that end he swore off marriage and children. I was desperately in love with him and miserable at the prospect of our never having a life together. You're the one who told me to go after my future, because ultimately it was Slayde's future as well."

"I did say that, didn't I?"

"Um-hum. But advice, my friend, is easy to give. Carrying it out, especially when it means battling 'an immovable rock', is hard. Damned hard. I have no doubt you're up for the challenge. The question is, do you love Julian enough to seize it, to hang on until you conquer it?"

"You ask arduous questions." Aurora massaged her temples. "But Lord help me, I think the answer is yes."

"So do I." Courtney's lips curved. "Let's explore these emotions of yours. You once asked me what it felt like to be in love. Now 'tis my turn to ask you. Tell me how Julian makes you feel."

"How Julian makes me feel?" Aurora sucked in her breath. "Like a storm-tossed sea. Like the branches on an oak when the wind sweeps through them. Like a waterfall plunging over the edge of a cliff and crashing to a swirling pool below. Like…"

"All right, all right," Courtney interrupted, laughing. "I should have expected that."

"It's nothing like the description you gave me."

"Perhaps that's because love is different for each of us. For me it meant a sense of peace, belonging. For you it means exhilaration, adventure. Aurora, we both know you'd never be content with a serene and quiet life."

"Nor do I seem destined to have one. Certainly not once I've conveyed my feelings to Julian."

"You're so convinced he'll react badly?"

"Aren't you?"

"No. I think you're underestimating how much he cares for you. Oh, I don't expect he'll admit it; allowing himself the vulnerability of needing someone will doubtless seem an untenable prospect."

"Untenable? He'll never permit it."

"We don't always have control over our emotions."

"Courtney, this is preposterous." Aurora sprang to her feet, pacing restlessly about the bedchamber. "Julian and I have been married less than a week. Prior to that we scarcely knew each other." She halted, pivoting about to face her friend. "How long did it take you to realize you were in love with Slayde?"

"Less time than it's taken you to perceive your feelings for Julian. And remember, Slayde and I were truly strangers—in every way. You and Julian are married; you share an intimacy Slayde and I didn't experience right away."

"That's passion, not love."

"In your case it's passion coupled with the same emotional affinity Slayde and I shared. In truth, I can't imagine a more powerful combination. So time is not the issue here."

"Perhaps not. But, Courtney, I'm not as selfless as you. I can't bear loving a man who can't—won't—return my love."

"You won't have to," Courtney replied softly. "Trust me, Aurora. Julian is half in love with you already. I see it in his eyes when he gazes at you, in his voice when he boasts of your skill as an adventurer. Even in the protective way he looks out for your well-being. And his desire for you—well, that's self-evident. All the seeds are there. 'Tis up to you to make them grow. After that, both your lives will be transformed."

Aurora was on the verge of disagreeing when Courtney's final statement sank in. "Odd," she commented aloud. "Mr. Scollard said almost those exact words when he spoke of my future with Julian."

"Really?" Courtney jumped on her friend's revelation. "When was this?"

"Right after Julian offered for me. I raced straight to the lighthouse to see Mr. Scollard. He, too, said that Julian and I would transform each other's lives—at the same time, incidentally, that he revealed the true story of the Fox and the Falcon—
before
I told it to him."

"None of that should surprise you, knowing Mr. Scollard." Courtney dismissed Aurora's disclosure with a wave of her hand. "What else did Mr. Scollard say about you and Julian?"

"He cautioned me that the merlin was deceptive, sometimes in ways even he himself doesn't comprehend. And he heralded love as the strongest and most wondrous of forces, with the exception of fate."

"Excellent! As always, Mr. Scollard is a genius," Courtney exclaimed. "Further, I concur with his opinion exactly. It gives me all the more confidence in the advice I'm about to dispense."

"Which is?"

"Don't wait to tell Julian you love him. When the next opportunity arises, tell him."

"Immediately?" Aurora's jaw dropped.

"Yes. For many reasons. First, you're far too forthright to restrain yourself. Second, despite your concern to the contrary, Julian is far too arrogant to reject your declaration. He might even savor it. Either way he'll need time to adjust, to face his own feelings and come to grips with the inevitable. Believe me, it will be far easier for him to lower his walls if he's certain your love awaits on the other side."

"And how do I convince him of that?"

"That, my dear friend, is something only you can decide and only you can accomplish. But somehow I think you'll manage quite well."

"You're serious." Aurora's heart was pounding like a drum.

"Absolutely."

"Courtney, what if he…?"

"He won't."

"I have to think about this." Aurora resumed pacing. "I never imagined a man could have so much power over me. Ironic, isn't it? I just secured my freedom and now I'm bound in a more fundamental way than I was before."

"But this time it's by choice."

"Or by fate," Aurora amended, considering Mr. Scollard's words.

"Yes, fate." Courtney leaned contentedly back against the pillow, regarding her friend with a smug grin. "I suspect fate has wondrous plans for you."

"If you say so."

"Do you doubt Mr. Scollard and me?"

Aurora rolled her eyes. "All right," she decided. "I'll tell him. Heaven help me, I'll tell him."

Chapter 10

«
^
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D
awn's pale rays awakened her.

Rolling onto her back, Aurora blinked, opening her eyes to stare up at the familiar ceiling, wondering why she felt so out of sorts awakening in her own bedchamber.

The answer spilled forth like the sunlight. Julian wasn't beside her.

Propping herself on her elbows, Aurora scanned the room, confirming that her husband indeed was not there. She'd waited up half the night for him until her aching body and heavy eyelids won out and sleep had claimed her.

Perhaps that had been for the best.

She was still reeling from her conversation with Courtney, or rather, from its outcome. She'd expected many things from her friend: compassion, understanding, profound discussion. All of which she'd gotten in abundance. What she hadn't expected was the sheer impulsiveness of Courtney's response. It was she who was the reckless one, the one who rushed impetuously into situations. Courtney was calmer, more rational, capable of weighing all the ramifications before acting. And yet, just when Aurora was facing the most overwhelming of challenges, when she'd somehow found the sensibility to restrain herself from blurting out her feelings to Julian, Courtney had urged her to do precisely that.

What's more, she'd agreed.

Had she agreed because it suited her nature to do so, or because she truly believed telling Julian was the right thing to do? Swiftly she reevaluated the reasons she'd originally conjured up for deferring her revelation: the compelling search for the black diamond, her own reticence, and, most significantly, Julian's.

Courtney's reasoning annihilated them all. If what her friend suggested was true, Julian might be taken aback, even unnerved by her declaration of love; but ultimately he would need that love, rely upon it as his foundation while he sought not only the missing stone, but an internal peace both he and his past had wrested away.

Groaning, Aurora swung her legs over the side of the bed and tossed back her thick mane of hair.

Hell and damnation, Courtney was right.

With that woeful admission she rose, an ironic smile curving her lips. Love obviously did change a person. For the first time, deferral had seemed infinitely more appealing than candor.

Crossing over to the wardrobe, Aurora pulled out one of the few gowns she'd left behind for those times she visited Pembourne—a welcome fact, given that the dress she'd worn yesterday was torn beyond repair. She washed and dressed hastily, her thoughts now veering in a completely new direction.

Julian had never come to bed. That could mean but one thing: that he and Slayde were still in the library, poring over James's books in the hopes of finding the one from which the hidden page had been torn.

And she wanted to be there when they found it.

Running a brush through her hair, she glanced briefly at her reflection in the looking glass, then dashed out the door, through the hallway, and down the stairs.

She burst into the library.

"What have you found…?" Breaking off, she stared about in amazement. The library shelves were three-quarters bare, the floor piled high with volume after volume of discarded texts. Amid the debris sat Slayde and Julian—Slayde slouched in an armchair, Julian sprawled on the settee. Each of them had an open book spread across his lap, and each of them looked up red eyed when she entered.

"Nothing." Julian snapped shut the book he held, raking a frustrated hand through his hair. "Not one damned thing, that's what we've found. Countless books on falcons, dozens that specifically pertained to the merlin and the kestrel—not one that was missing a page."

"You both look like death." Aurora crossed over, plucking the book from her husband's hands. "Did you get any sleep at all?"

"No." Slayde's tone was equally curt, his stare glazed and disoriented. "What time is it anyway?"

"Morning. Or hadn't you noticed the sunlight peeping through the windows?"

"I'm not in a lighthearted mood, Aurora." Her brother flung down the volume he'd been reading, rising unsteadily to his feet. "So don't try to be amusing."

"I'm not." Aurora turned on her heel and walked out.

Returning a few minutes later with a steaming tray, she announced, "Cook is preparing an early breakfast and two more pots of coffee—one for you and one for the staff. I pleaded your case to everyone in the kitchen. Once the servants heard the sorry state you were in from working all night, they insisted you take the first pot of the day." She lowered the tray to a sideboard, pouring two full cups. "Here." She handed a cup to each of them. "This will soothe your foul tempers and make you far easier to live with."

"I doubt that," Slayde muttered, taking an appreciative gulp. "But t
hank
you."

"You're welcome." She turned to Julian and watched him down the entire cup. "Better?"

"Much. T
hank
you,
soleil
." He set down the saucer, rubbed the back of his neck. "We've covered almost the entire library. We also searched the study and several of the salons, just in case James stored the book elsewhere. It's nowhere to be found."

"Nowhere you've yet looked," Aurora corrected. "James didn't go to all the trouble of concealing that page in a buried strongbox for nothing. We just haven't stumbled on the right location yet. We will. Or rather, I will." She folded her arms across her breasts. "Julian, neither you nor Slayde is in any condition to continue. You can scarcely see, much less concentrate. I, on the other hand, have had a hot bath—which you sorely need after our digging expedition—two plates of food, and several good hours of sleep. I want you both to follow suit: eat the breakfast Cook is preparing, soak in the tubs I'll have sent up, and go to sleep. Not for the entire day," she added hastily, seeing her husband's oncoming protest. "Just for a few hours, until your body has recouped enough strength to push on." She touched his unshaven jaw. "Julian—please."

An odd look crossed Julian's face, and he nodded slowly. "Very well—but only for a short time."

Aurora flashed him an impish grin. "I promise to awaken you if I discover anything significant," she teased, parroting his vow of last night.

Julian's lips curved. "That puts my mind at ease." His lips brushed her palm before he turned away. "Come, Slayde. We've received our orders."

Slayde hesitated, glancing restlessly toward the bookshelves.

"Don't even consider it, my love." It was Courtney's voice, her tone adamant as she entered the room. "If Aurora hasn't convinced you, then allow me. Should you decide to push yourself further, without food or sleep, I shall be forced to romp about the grounds with Tyrant, stroll to the lighthouse and visit with Mr. Scollard, and prune the flowers in the conservatory—all of which I'm perfectly capable of doing, albeit at a slower pace, but have foregone over the past month due to your incessant worry." She gave him a beatific smile. "Shall I tell Siebert I'll be exercising Tyrant this morning?"

"You made your point." Slayde shot her a warning look. "You stay put. Julian and I are on our way to the dining room."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Courtney and Aurora waited until the men had stalked off before they dissolved into laughter.

"Slayde turned sheet white when you suggested dashing about with Tyrant," Aurora commended. "I think he would have agreed to anything to keep you and the babe in the manor."

"Probably." Courtney's laughter faded, a knowing glint coming into her eyes. "Did you see the expression on Julian's face when you begged him to rest?"

"He looked … off balance."

"He looked like a man in love," Courtney corrected.

A surge of hope. "Do you really think so?"

"I really think so."

Aurora's eyes sparkled. "I suddenly have energy enough to take on the rest of the library on my own."

"I suggest you let me help," Courtney proposed, smiling. "That way you can save a bit of energy for your husband. I believe you have something to tell him when he awakens."

"Yes, I believe I do."

* * *

As it turned out, Aurora's announcement was deferred yet again.

When Julian and Slayde returned to the library at noon, it was to find their tired, discouraged wives sitting amid an even denser array of discarded books.

"I don't understand it," Aurora puzzled, scooting down the ladder. "The book has to be here."

"It has to," Julian muttered. "But so far, it isn't."

"Pardon me, my lord." Siebert stood in the library doorway, gaping at the wild disorder looming before him. "The Viscount Guillford is here to see you."

"Guillford?" Aurora's head snapped around.

"Damn," Slayde muttered. "I completely forgot. Guillford and I have an appointment to discuss a business investment." He frowned. "I'll have Siebert show him directly to my study. In that way he won't see the chaotic state the library is in, nor will you need to face him."

"I agree about the library," Julian interjected. "Were Guillford to come in here, it would pose a lot of questions we'd prefer not to answer. But I disagree that Aurora should hide from him. To begin with, I'm sure he knows she and I are at Pembourne; my carriage is in your drive. Besides, it's time to put to rest the ludicrous scandal surrounding our marriage. We've already run into Guillford once, in Camden's office. We're bound to see him again, just as we're bound to cross paths with Lady Altec and her gossiping friends—plus all the other prying members of the
ton
. 'Tis time to show them just how well suited my bride and I are. The sooner we do, the less uncomfortable it will be—not for me, since I don't give a damn what they think of me—but for Aurora." His expression softened. "My wife has waited a long time for some semblance of a coming-out. I suggest we help make her experience, however limited, a pleasant one."

"I agree," Courtney put in. "After all, we've extended our apologies to Lord Guillford. We have no need to make further amends. Moreover, 'tis not as if he and Aurora were deeply in love. His pride was wounded, yes, but his heart was hardly shattered. From what I hear, there are at least a dozen women eager to help him heal—especially if it means acquiring his name, his title, and his wealth. Honestly, Slayde, I think Julian's right. Let's stop treating this marriage as if it's anything less than what we truly wanted for Aurora."

"Your points are well taken." Slayde nodded. "Very well. Let's all greet the viscount together. It will ease the scandal—if not the shock—surrounding this marriage."

"Once we've made our appearance, Julian, Aurora, and I will continue in the library while you have your meeting with the viscount," Courtney added.

"A very brief meeting," Slayde murmured. "Very brief. I want to find that book. Siebert, show Lord Guillford to the anteroom. I'll be out to greet him in a moment."

"Very good, sir." Siebert paused, clearing his throat. "Shall I summon some footmen to reassemble the library?"

"Not yet, Siebert. Later—but not yet."

* * *

Lord Guillford rose, hands clasped behind his back, when the two Huntleys and the two Bencrofts entered the anteroom. His expression was composed, but he looked visibly surprised to see them all standing before him.

"Guillford—good day." Slayde greeted his guest politely. "Forgive the delay; my wife and I were just visiting with Aurora and Julian."

"Of course. I understand." The viscount bowed in their general direction. "Countess. Morland. Aurora. 'Tis good to see you all." A quick glance at Slayde. "If you'd rather reschedule our appointment…"

"Not for our sake," Julian inserted smoothly. "Courtney was just helping Aurora and me gather the remainder of her things. We stopped merely to say hello to you. You and Slayde are perfectly welcome to conduct your meeting as planned."