The Black Mage: Candidate (20 page)

I was alone. Ella was gone. My brothers were gone. My friends and family were across the countryside while I was trapped in the king’s court. Paige was somewhere in the palace as a sentry but it would take me half the night to find her. And even then, she didn’t like to talk about “feelings.” I was trapped in the palace, and I didn’t know what to do.

Blayne was the last person I trusted, but if what Benny said was true then he was possibly the one person who understood Darren. And that made me hesitate instead of sending him on his way, or sending myself on mine.

The crown prince glanced back at the dancers, looking for someone or something in the crowd—presumably his new wife, and then nodded toward a passage to our left. “Come with me.”

“Where are we going?”

Blayne regarded me with a sneer. “You want my help or not, Ryiah?”

It was a challenge. A test of our supposed truce and my chance to find out more about his brother. I knew if I passed up this opportunity he would not offer it again.

Common sense bid I decline, but I was in no mood to listen to reason. I wanted to understand Darren, even if it meant spending time with the enemy.

I could only hope that Blayne didn’t choose this moment to suddenly return to his old nature.

“Lead the way.”

****

I didn’t know what I had expected, but the old queen’s chamber was certainly not part of the morbid possibilities in my mind. When Blayne took me to the royal wing I was sure he had made a mistake. But then he continued past the king’s chamber to the furthest door in the hall, one that had remained unoccupied since Queen Lillian’s death many years before.

I watched as the crown prince produced a large ring of keys from the pocket of his trousers, and then unlocked the door. Blayne paused as his hand stilled on the handle.

“You and I have our differences, but rest assured I love my brother, Ryiah. I believe that is the one thing we hold in common. What I am about to show, you are never to speak of to anyone. Do I have your word?”

I nodded.

He swung open the door, and I followed him inside. Then I took a step back, my back hitting the frame in horror.

Unlike the other royal chambers, this room had been stripped bare of material. No bed, no furnishings, no sprawling rug or tapestries. Nothing to suggest the queen had ever lived in the chamber at all. But that wasn’t why I had gasped.

Protruding from the back of the wall was a pair of chained manacles that were approximately three feet in height and a shoulder length apart. Another set rested along the ground, built into a metal bar lining the floor.

The swirled marble tile was discolored beneath the chains, as if someone—or two someones— had bled out repeatedly on its surface. The floor’s design was an elaborate design of red, gold, and violet swirl—the same as the rest of the palace— but the stain was much closer to rust.

“W-what is this place?” I choked. My heart was racing as I looked on and pictured a hundred horrible scenarios in my head. Reasons Blayne would need to show me this room. For the first time I prayed it was a ploy, that the crown prince’s motives were malevolent—anything but what I was imagining now.

“This was my mother’s room.” Blayne walked over to a dark pine chest I hadn’t noticed, reaching out to take one of the contents: a foot-long pole with a chain of small, sharp blades attached to its cord. He tested its weight in his hand.

“She was much younger than my father, much more lovely and had the most beautiful singing voice you could ever imagine. Darren was too young to remember her much, barely two years at the time of her passing. But I did.” He dropped the whip, and I could hear him sigh. “My father was never a kind man. But losing my mother as he did, well I’m sure you’ve heard the stories…”

I swallowed. My parents had told me the tale as a child. Before I was born, Queen Lillian had been poisoned during a ceremonial feast. It was widely believed that her wine had been intended for the king. The aftermath was the stuff of legends. Following his wife’s death Lucius had ordered the entire hall interrogated and then executed at once. Among the victims had been his current board of advisors, a handful of nobility, the serving staff on hand, and several of his guard. A culprit had never been identified and sixty-two men and women had died that night.

Scholars suspected it was the first of the Caltothian attacks. They also called it the “Lily Queen’s Slaughter.”

“This room…” My heart slammed against my ribs as he continued. “He had the servants
redecorate
after she passed. None of the staff was allowed to enter, and only the head infirmary mage knew.”

The prince’s voice was hard. “There was the palace dungeon, of course.” The boy laughed, low and cruel. “But it would have been too much work to carry two unconscious boys up and down the palace halls when this room was unused—and so close to where we slept.”

Blayne met my gaze head on. “So he took us here.”

My knees threatened to give out, and I clung to the door’s frame for support. I could hear every word Blayne was saying, and yet there was a thundering in my ears. I felt sick to my stomach, and the pastries from earlier were fighting to rise as I gulped in deep lungfuls of air.

“Any time we disobeyed orders, any time he had too much to drink, any time he decided we were too
soft
to carry on his line.” The prince’s lips twisted at the memory. “The man always had his mage heal us when he was done. No one ever knew, and if word ever got out…Well, he was the king and there was nothing anyone could do unless they wished to find themselves on the receiving end of his attention, like us.”

“
No
…” The air sputtered from my lungs.

“When I was nine, I got into trouble with one of my tutors. Darren heard my cries from down the hall.” The prince’s expression grew dark, and I realized Benny was right. Blayne didn’t hate Darren at all
.
“Instead of staying in his room, the little fool snuck in and tried to save me… He never was afraid of our father, even when he was beating him senseless.”

My stomach surged, and I slid to the floor, clutching my knees to my chest. My skin was clammy, and my hands were still shaking as I took Blayne’s proffered flask. I couldn’t stop picturing six-year-old Darren in a pool of his own blood, fists and feet and a bladed whip coming from the man he called “Father.” A little boy trying to save his brother.

Privilege. I accused Darren of a privilege the rest of us never had.

“Somehow he managed to pull a knife he had stolen from the kitchens while our father was choking him—”

A whimper escaped my lips, and I clutched shaky fingers to my mouth to let Blayne continue.

“Darren was overtaken in an instant, of course, and beaten within an inch of his life, but...” Blayne’s voice seized. “—He never stopped fighting. Later—when the healer had finished up with my brother and me—our father stopped by the infirmary. Told Darren he had finally done something right.” Blayne didn’t feign his disgust. “As second son Darren’s duty was to me. He had finally proven his role. Father sent him off to train with our head knight the next morning so he could start preparing for the School of Knighthood and become Commander of the Crown’s Army when I took the crown. Darren had
impressed
him.”

My pulse slammed against my lungs, and I forced myself to swallow. Two sips of some bitter liquid that tore at my throat like ice. I wiped my sweaty palms against my dress.

“After that day…” I couldn’t say it. “Did your father…?”

“Not with Darren.”

I opened my mouth and the crown prince just gave me a sardonic smile. “It takes much more to impress when you are his heir. Darren wasn’t always around. In any case I’m better for it now.”

I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say anything.
What did you say to your enemy?
To the villain with the pitiable past? Everything Blayne had done, I couldn’t help wondering if Darren would have turned out the same, were he the heir instead.

“Darren will never tell you any of this.” The prince shut the chest with a
thud.
“I brought you here so you could see the truth for yourself. My brother pushes people away with his pride, and it doesn’t take much to see he is doing the same to you now. Whatever happened between the two of you, I need you to forgive him, Ryiah.”

“Why…” My voice caught and I tried again. “Why are you helping me? I-I know you want to make amends but—”

“Because he is my little brother. And as many mistakes as he has made, I want the best for him.” The prince’s gaze was bitter. “Even if that is you.”

****

I found Darren leaving the training grounds just as I arrived. Before the training grounds, I had checked his chamber, the indoor practice court, the kitchens, and finally the kennels.
I should’ve realized he would seek solace in training.
Even in the middle of his brother’s festivities. He and I were one and the same.

The scent of summer was thick in the air, fresh blossoms and cedar mixed in with the lingering trace of sweat and dirt from the barracks.

I stood anxiously, the warm breeze ruffling my dress.

“Darren.”

The non-heir looked up, dark bangs falling across his eyes. Something like regret registered for just a moment before he clenched his jaw and turned away.

“What do you want, Ryiah?”

I took a deep breath. “I’m reckless.”

His head jerked back as he regarded me in surprise. I could tell he hadn’t been expecting
that
.

I rambled on quickly, “I judge too fast. I don’t always think before I speak. I don’t like to hear that I might not win. I lash out when I’m angry. I’m far from perfect, and I know I never will be. I make mistakes just like the rest of them.”

With every confession I took a step closer, closing the distance between us. I waited until I was right in front of the prince, and then placed my hands on his chest, causing him to take another step back until his shoulders were lining the barrack’s wall.

“You aren’t one of my mistakes.”

A lump in the prince’s throat rose and fell.

“I love you.”
And that’s never going to change.
“I’ve been in love with you since that day in the desert, and today it’s time for me to make an apology of my own.” I leaned in close and watched his sharp intake of breath. “I’m sorry, Darren.” My eyes rose to his, and I willed him to see the sincerity in my own. “I’m sorry I said you were privileged. I’m sorry I ever thought… Blayne told me…” I swallowed. “If I had known...”

Understanding, and then shame flared in response—but before Darren could break away I wrapped my fingers along the back of his neck and brought his lips to my own. I pressed hard, tasting the regret and anger that was perforating his.

Blood and salt mixed in with the sweetness of wine and I clung still.

He tried to break our kiss. “Ryiah—”

I pushed back harder; he was air and I was drowning for breath. “No.” The word came sputtering from my chest.
No.
I wasn’t going to let Darren turn away now.

I wasn’t going to let his father win.

I kissed him again, a bit softer. Pleading. My lips brushed his, and I could feel his mouth trembling against my own. “I love you.” I whispered the words again. Over and over. “Please don’t shut me out.”

I felt it the exact moment Darren stopped fighting.

Tension left his shoulders, and the non-heir’s pulse sped up as his hands fisted in my skirt, pulling me in. Heated lips parted mine, and the kiss drove deep—neither one of us in control of our response. His eyes were shut, blocking out whatever memories he struggled to keep inside.

Darren’s hands slid to my waist and then he swung me around so that I was up against the wall instead. My back slammed against stone, and the rough material dug into my skin, his fingers bruising my ribs. His breath was hot and angry as his mouth assaulted my own. I welcomed it, a hot wave of fury bubbling in its wake.

Pain and passion were so much easier to embrace. I didn’t want to think about what the king had done to his two sons. I didn’t want to pity the brother who had attacked my best friend. I didn’t want to know how many times my betrothed had been pushed to the brink of death for the sake of his father’s cruel, twisted games.

I didn’t want to believe any of it.

All these years of coveting Darren’s life only to find out everything I thought was a lie. Did he even want to be the Black Mage at all? Or was it just another role he was expected to meet?

Expectation. That’s all this ever was.

I shut my eyes and tipped my chin, letting the prince’s anger take charge of the moment. Praying, hoping that I could take it all away if I just held on long enough.

But I never could. And I was foolish to try.

“I’m...” Darren broke the kiss a couple minutes later and pressed his forehead against my own. I watched the rise and fall of his chest. “I’m sorry I said—”

I cut him off. “You don’t have to explain.”

His eyes seared. “But I want to, Ryiah. All these years…” Another lump in his throat as he swallowed. “I never got to be anything but what he wanted me to be—”

“Darren—”

“I don’t even know who
I
am anymore.” His whisper was hoarse. “And I
hate
it.”

“What if you lose?” I studied his face, searching for a sign. “If you make it look like you are trying…?”

“He would know.” The prince’s laugh was bitter. “And he would punish me by taking away the only thing I’ve ever let myself be weak enough to want.” His gaze met mine and for once he didn’t hide. “It’s not the first time he’s used you against me.”

The world rushed around me as I realized exactly what he meant.

The first time he tried to call things off with Priscilla.

When I had called him his father’s whipping boy.

“Besides.” Darren pulled away to rest against the wall beside me, shoulder to shoulder. He looked out at the night sky above. “With every second of my life devoted to this cursed role, a part of me wants it now… I’m so mad in the head I can’t imagine a future in which the robe
isn’t
.”