The Black Mage: Candidate (36 page)

I had given him the ring meant for me. Told him that each of my favorite brothers had a part.

And now I had one
.

The more the grief welled up inside, the way my parents looked as I told them when I arrived home that night. One thing was clear:
the Caltothians had to pay.
King Horrace had tricked Commander Nyx and her men, and my brother had died because of it.

I would not turn in the rebels. I had thought of it countless times in the day following his death, but I couldn’t. A part of me was ripped apart at the thought. Derrick had died for their cause. If I betrayed them now it would mean my brother had died in vain.

So I stayed silent. And I watched my parents fall. Dishes clattering, muffled cries, and puddles of tears. Angry, disbelieving shouts followed by stark betrayal and then grief.

I joined them. And another part of me shattered. I knew by the time Alex arrived there would be almost nothing left to break.

How many times can a person shatter?

At least one more.

****

Paige and the rest of the guards from the King’s Regiment remained outside. She was able to grant me that much when my twin and his new wife walked through my parents’ door.

“Ryiah,” Alex looked around the room, confused. His brow furrowed when he saw my parents in the corner clutching hands, their faces turned away. “What is it? Why were we summoned here?”

Ella caught my expression before Alex understood. “
No
.” Her arms went around her husband just as he noticed the cord on my neck. I had never taken it off.

“Derrick?” My twin rasped. “Where is he?”

I opened my mouth, but the words couldn’t come out. Tears started to swell at my eyes.

“Derrick!” Alex’s voice turned raw. “WHERE IS HE, RYIAH?” He broke free of Ella’s grip and crossed the room, shaking me while I struggled to breathe.

I can’t tell him.
But you must.
I can’t.

“Ryiah!” My brother was screaming in my face.
“WHERE IS DERRICK?”

My father’s sob was all he needed to hear.

“NO!” Alex stumbled back; his eyes were streaming tears. “NO!”

“He’s dead, Alex.” My mother made herself reach out and catch my brother’s arm. “Derrick is dead.” Her voice caught, and my father’s hand shot out to her shoulder.

“What happened?”
was Ella’s whisper.

“WHY DID YOU KNOW FIRST?” My brother’s eyes never left my face. “RYIAH, WHY ARE YOU THE ONE TO TELL?”

“Derrick was a rebel.” My whole body was trembling. All of the darkness—it was coming back. And it was threatening to take hold. “A-Alex, he tried to steal information to help them—”

“NO!”

“—He g-got caught—”

“NO!” Tears were streaking down his face.

“Alex, I t-tried to have him confess. I t-tried—” I bit down on my lip to keep from sobbing. “—But h-he wouldn’t l-listen.”

My brother sank to the floor, and Ella fell down beside him.

“The rebels…T-they broke him out.” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Darren and I l-let him go but h-he still got c-caught by one of the g-guards—”

My brother was up in an instant. And then it was me being slammed against the wall, my back and shoulders flaring up in agony as he pounced on me, his voice a low snarl.

“Why was he a rebel, Ryiah?”

“Alex,” I whimpered.

My twin shoved me harder and my parents cried out in horror. “There’s something you aren’t telling us, Ryiah!” he whisper-shouted. “You wouldn’t look this guilty—”

“Alex!” Ella staggered to her feet. “Let her go!”

“Not until she tells us what she’s hiding!” My brother’s eyes stayed locked on my face.

“I’m not—”

“NO.” My brother cut me off. “Stop lying!
This is me.
I know every expression you make, Ry. I know you like I know myself—and right now I
know
you are hiding something.” He dropped his shoulders, letting his forehead press against mine, whispering.
“What are you hiding, Ryiah?”

My gaze fell to the doorway where the guards were still waiting. So far they would have just assumed our conversation was that of an angry brother in denial. They had heard the same from my parents that first night I arrived.

But the one thing I hadn’t counted on was my twin who knew me like the back of his hand.

I grabbed his arm and spoke softly. “You need to lower your voice.” My gaze darted to my family and Ella as I pulled them to the furthest corner of our house.

“I k-know who the rebels are.”

“WHAT—”

Ella slapped a hand over my brother’s mouth.
”Alex!”

“You know?” My mother’s gaze searched my own. “Why didn’t you—”

“It’s dangerous.” My voice was pained. “Darren fought his brother just to grant me a reprieve. If Blayne suspected I-I knew anything…” I trailed off for a moment, and then forced myself to continue. “They are looking for traitors, a-and after Derrick I d-didn’t want them thinking any of you were one of them. T-that you know something you shouldn’t.”

“Why did Derrick join the rebels?” My father was shaking. “What did he tell you? Why was he at the palace and not the keep?”

“What I tell you now.” My voice was barely a whisper. I made myself stand strong. “It can’t ever leave this house. None of you can ever breathe a word of it to anyone,
ever
. Not even to each other.” I didn’t want to tell them,
but how could I not?
They deserved to know why their child was dead. Alex deserved to know why his little brother would never come home.

And so I told them. I told them
everything
.

My parents and Ella were horrified, but Alex…

I shouldn’t have told him.

“How do you know Derrick wasn’t telling the truth?” my twin whispered furiously. “Did you see what King Lucius did to those prisoners? To me?” His voice quivered. “To Ella? Did you forget what the king allowed Blayne to do to her? What Darren did to you during the course of the apprenticeship? No—” He caught my protests before I could speak. “What Darren did was wrong, Ry. No man leads a woman on while he is betrothed to another! He lied to you, humiliated you in front of the court, he lied to you every gods’ blasted day for two years before he was finally man enough to do something about it—”

“I told you why Darren did that!” My voice rose. “Don’t you dare—”

“
That whole family is evil!”
My twin was struggling not to shout. “Maybe Derrick was right. Maybe the brothers did know what their father was doing the whole time. Maybe your precious prince decided to murder his cruel father and his brother in one night, only he missed. Maybe this has been his plan all along. You said yourself you believed what the rebels said about King Lucius was correct. How do you know they aren’t telling the truth about the attack in Montfort?” Alex’s breath was coming out faster and faster, his chest rising and falling as his face grew red.
“What if it wasn’t them or King Horrace? You let our brother die for nothing!”
Hot tears were streaming down his face and he shoved Ella’s hand away when she tried to reach his wrist.

My brother grabbed his saddlebag and threw it over one shoulder; his eyes twin daggers as he regarded me with hate. “The Crown has done too much to the people I love—”

“Alex, no!”
My father’s face was full of terror, and my mother raised her voice. “Alex, don’t you even—”

“My little brother was murdered. And I didn’t even get to see his funeral because our new king has his body hanging from a pike in the capital square.” His tone could have cut glass. “If asked to choose between a tyrant and a misguided group of people trying to make a change, I choose the latter. The rebels had the right idea all along.”

“Alex!” Ella was shaking, trying to stop him from leaving. “Please, Ryiah didn’t tell you this so—”

“I’m sorry, Ella.” My brother’s shoulders fell as he looked across to his wife. “You don’t have to come with me.”

“Alex—” I reached out and he jerked back, eyes flashing.

“Go ahead and turn me in!” he snapped. “You already let one brother die, what’s another!”

My best friend and parents were screaming and sobbing as my twin stormed out the door. A second later a cloud of dust was trailing in his wake.

I could barely breathe.
Why had I told him?
My misguided guilt had turned my second brother against me, and now my own betrothed was going to be hunting my own while his brother called on a war.

There was a flurry of movement, and I realized Ella was running toward the door.

“Ella!”

“I’m sorry, Ryiah.” Her voice was hoarse. “I’ll try and stop him.”

And then she was gone. A second horse’s bray and then a second misting of dirt hitting the air.

Then it was just me and my parents.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“First Derrick…” My father could barely speak. “And now Alex…”

My mom just stared at me, and the way her nails dug into her palms I knew she was fighting not to speak her thoughts aloud. But her eyes were sad, and my mother was never sad. She was
strong
.

And now my parents were breaking.

I heard what my father didn’t say, what my mom fought to swallow.
Ryiah, how could you?

I didn’t have a reply. There was nothing I could say to repent the pain I had brought them both.

Chapter Nineteen

I returned to the palace and my days were written in red.

I saw Derrick’s face around every corner; every young man in the crimson soldier’s tunic was his ghost. Every stain against the cold marble was a pool of his scarlet blood.

I looked into Darren’s eyes. Dark garnet was the color of my soul, and the Shadow God was counting down my days.

I was a filthy traitor. To the boy I loved because every word from my mouth was a lie. To my little brother who had died because I was too much a coward to speak the truth. To my twin because I had to be the one to break his heart, and then send him on his way. To my parents, because I was supposed to look out for my little brother, and I had failed. To my best friend whose husband was now joining the wrong cause, all because I had told the truth when a lie would have been warranted instead.

I was a traitor to everyone I loved. And I had only myself to blame.

I wasn’t sure how a person like me could sleep. The shadows that consumed my thoughts, I should have been writhing in terror each night. But the pain was helping. It kept me from the grief. It kept me from breaking one final time; it kept me strong.

I went about my duties in a haze.

A couple more weeks passed, and they assumed I was in mourning. It was understood the sister of a traitor might be experiencing a bit of despair. But I wasn’t depressed; I wasn’t crying myself to sleep… I was numb.

The flames of the castle’s sconces danced for me as I passed. They taunted and beckoned, telling me they knew all my lies. That they knew my heart was really black.

I should have turned in the rebels. If not for Derrick, then Alex now. I should have gone to Blayne. I should have confessed everything and begged for Alex’s amnesty and condemned myself to the cells. I should have saved the lives of thousands by turning my brother and the rebels in.

But I was a coward. Too afraid of what it would mean if the king decided my second brother was an even greater traitor than the first. Too afraid to take another brother’s life. Too afraid of his blood on my hands, so I sacrificed the others.

I was bound for the pit of darkness in the Shadow God’s realm. It was only a matter of time.

When the king announced that King Joren had agreed to our terms, that he would fulfill his end of the New Alliance, I felt not a moment of relief. The crowds rose up in Devon’s square, but my eyes were glued to the rafters.

Darren had finally convinced Blayne to take down Derrick and the other rebels’ bodies. They’d been burned the previous night.
Then.
Then I had felt something.

“Pythus has promised us forty warships. They set sail in two months.” Blayne’s words echoed across the crowd and everywhere, screams and cheers, frenzied cries of justice. The clamor of fools.
Didn’t they know they were calling for blood?

“Our Caltothian enemies will feel what it is to suffer. They will feel Jerar’s wrath.” The king’s eyes sparkled as he raised his fist in the air, his Black Mage at his side. “As your king, I promised you peace. And peace you shall have. Emperor Liang has renewed his treaty as well. A fortnight from today, my dearest brother will be marrying his betrothed. The two most formidable warrior mages our kingdom has ever seen, prince and princess of our realm. The Crown has never been more powerful.”

Darren’s eyes fell to mine, and I looked away. I didn’t wait for his face to fall. A tempest of emotions were threatening to burst. I needed to keep them inside.

When the proclamations were done I was first to exit the square.

****

He found me. Three knocks at the door in which I feigned silence. I wanted him to go away. I wanted to be alone, but Paige let him in anyway.

I heard her turn the key in its lock, an odd gravelly sound that scratched at my ears.

My room was a den of shadow. I didn’t want any light. And he didn’t try.

Darren pulled up beside me on the bed.

“I wish it didn’t have to be like this,” he said.

I didn’t speak. I was too afraid if I did the words would fall away. Too afraid in the darkness I would confess my sins, and I couldn’t speak a word. I couldn’t stand the blood.

“You haven’t spoken a word to me since it happened.” I could hear his pain. It hurt me worse. “When Eve and Caine… when my father died…” He swallowed. “It was never like this. Derrick was your brother, and you loved him. He was the youngest, the one you were sworn to protect…” Darren shifted on the bed. “I know you, Ryiah. You are blaming yourself. It’s what I would have done.”

Silence was my only response.

“You think you could have stopped it, but you can’t stop a person from their mistakes. When you returned to Demsh’aa, they blamed you, didn’t they?” Silence. “Alex always hated me. I’m sure he made me the villain… But we did nothing wrong.”