The Blackwater Lightship (13 page)

Her grandmother came into the kitchen accompanied by Larry, who began to talk as soon as he arrived.

'Will you look at you?' he said to Declan. 'You look as though you haven't left that chair since you arrived. I'd say all the women are spoiling you.'

Helen watched as Declan instantly brightened up.

'God, it's very hard to find this place,' Larry continued without getting his breath. 'I went all over the country. No one knew any Breens, and then I realised that your granny mightn't be called Breen.'

'My granny is standing behind you,' Declan said.

'Will you look at the cats?' Larry said, pointing to the top of the dresser. 'What are they called?'

'The black fat one is Garret and the other one is Charlie,' Mrs Devereux said.

'Are you serious?' Larry asked.

'Yeah, Larry,' Declan said dryly, 'she's serious.'

'The skinny one looks just like Charlie,' Larry said. 'The names are gas. And is this your sister?' He spoke without pause, smiling all the time.

Larry was too friendly, Helen thought, too open in his manner, but nonetheless he was, she felt, a relief after Paul, who was too formal and distant.

'Don't mind him,' Declan said. 'He only talks non-stop when he's nervous.'

'What?' Larry asked. 'Who's nervous?'

'Hey, Larry,' Declan said, 'shut up.' He smiled at Larry.

'Would you like a cup of tea, Larry?' Mrs Devereux asked.

'No, no, I'm all right, thank you,' he said. 'God, it's gas the names of the cats.'

'Stop, Larry,' Declan said.

'God, it's a great place this,' Larry said.

'Did you bring your measuring tape?' Declan asked. 'I'm sure Granny wants some renovations done.'

'I did, as a matter of fact,' Larry said. 'I have it in the car. Do you know I had real trouble finding this place?'

'If you don't shut up, we're going to drown one of the cats.'

'Declan!' his grandmother said.

'Granny, I have to say something drastic to shut him up.'

'OK, OK, I'll shut up,' Larry said. 'God, it was a long drive down.'

'Both cats,' Declan said emphatically. 'We'll drown both Garret and Charlie.'

'What's this about a measuring tape?' his grandmother asked.

'Larry', Declan said, 'is an architect.'

•          •          •

Helen noticed that Declan ate nothing at lunch, and when she and Larry and her grandmother had finished eating, he lay back in the chair beside the Aga and closed his eyes. Outside, the sky had cleared, but there was still a wind and no certainty that the sky would not cloud up again soon.

'I'd love to go down to the strand,' Declan said. 'Not for long, just for a minute before it starts raining again.' He kept his eyes closed.

'Sure we'll go down with you,' Larry said.

Declan shaded his eyes with his hands all the time as they tried to make their way down the cliff, saying that the light was too much for him. Helen saw how frail he was as they helped him from step to step. When, finally, she and Larry were standing on the strand, having run down the last stretch, Declan stood alone, unable to manage. Larry offered to go back up and help him but then Declan suddenly ran down the bank of loose sand. He seemed pale and exhausted.

'I should have brought my togs,' Larry said and looked at the sea. There was a wind blowing a thin film of sand along the strand.

'I want to stay here on my own for a while,' Declan said. 'I just want to sit here where there's shelter. If the two of you go up, I'll follow you later.'

'Why don't we go for a walk first?' Larry asked.

'No, I'll just sit here,' Declan said.

'We can't leave you here,' Helen said.

'Hellie, I'll be fine. I just want to look at the sea and think, and then I'll come back up.'

Helen told him about the gap to Mike Redmond's house, which was easy to climb; she and Larry walked towards it.

'Is he all right there?' Helen asked Larry.

'I got a big shock when I saw him in the room,' Larry said. 'He looks awful, doesn't he?'

'How long have you known him?'

'Since college.'

'Do you think we should leave him there?'

'If that's what he wants,' Larry said.

'Sometimes you forget he's sick, or you don't realise how sick he is,' Helen said.

'The problem is that he forgets as well,' Larry said, 'or he puts it to the back of his mind and then he remembers. It's very hard.'

They walked up the gap until they came to the ruin of Mike Redmond's house. Larry walked around it, touching the walls and the chimney breast.

'Your granny is lucky that her house is further back from the cliff,' he said.

'There used to be a big garden in front of this house,' Helen said.

'The foundations are very thin and the walls are not very strong,' Larry said.

'Have you brought your measuring tape?' she asked.

He looked at her earnestly. 'Why?'

She laughed until it struck him that she was mocking him.

'You're 'worse than Declan,' he said.

They walked back along the clifftop in silence, Larry staring out to sea and stopping to look down at the coast. 'I didn't know there were places like this still left in Wexford,' he said.

As they walked up the lane, they saw Lily driving towards them. She stopped at the gate of her mother's house.

'Is Declan inside?' she asked.

'Mammy, this is Larry, he's a friend of Declan's,' Helen said.

'Hello,' she said coldly. 'Is Declan inside?' she asked again.

'No, he's on the strand,' Helen said.

'Who's he with?' her mother asked.

'No one. He's on his own.'

'How did that happen?'

'He asked us to leave him there. He said he wanted to think.'

'Helen, that is irresponsible.' She began to walk towards the cliff.

'Where are you going?'

'I'm going to get him,' her mother said.

'He wants to be left alone.'

Her mother continued walking away from them towards the cliff.

'It's mucky,' Helen shouted at her, but her mother did not turn.

'Look at her shoes,' Helen said to Larry. 'She'll never get down the cliff.'

'A mother's love's a blessing,' Larry said.

'I presume you're being sarcastic?'

'It's not just you and Declan can go on like that,' Larry said.

'I thought you were a nice simple chap,' she said.

'I think I prefer your granny to your mother,' he said.

'I did that for a while too,' Helen said. 'It's a mistake.'

•          •          •

They sat in the kitchen and listened as Helen's grandmother moved about upstairs. The cats on top of the dresser had disappeared. When her grandmother came down the stairs and into the kitchen, she had a cat under each arm.

'These two gentlemen', she said, 'are disturbed by all the visitors.'

'You've a great view here,' Larry said.

'View?' she asked. 'You can get fed up looking at the sea. I can tell you that now. If I could turn the house around, I would.'

'It has great character, the house,' Larry said.

The cats jumped out of her arms and made their way to the top of the dresser, where they scowled down at Helen and Larry.

'I'm bad on my feet,' her grandmother said. 'I'd love to make my bedroom downstairs, but then the bathroom's upstairs. There's no justice.' She went to the window and parted the lace curtains. 'Oh, here's Lily now,' she said.

Helen and Larry stood up as they heard Declan and Lily talking. As Helen opened the kitchen door, she noticed her mother's shoes all covered in marl and muck. Declan, she saw, had been crying. They did not come into the kitchen, but turned towards the room where Declan had slept.

'Is he all right?' her grandmother called after them.

'He's fine. He's just going to lie down.'

When Larry went and sat in front of the house, Helen's grandmother guardedly closed the kitchen door and checked the window to make sure no one was coming.

'Helen,' she asked, 'is this man Larry, is he going to stay here as well?'

'I don't know, Granny.'

'Helen, are we going to put them into the same room?'

'I don't know.'

'I suppose we're all modern now,' her grandmother said, going again to the window, 'and I'm as modern as anyone, but I would just like to know. That's all.'

'Granny, do you mean — are they partners?'

'Yes, that's what I mean.'

'No, they're not.'

'So where is Declan's partner?' her grandmother asked.

'He doesn't have a partner,' Helen said.

'Do you mean he has nobody?'

'He has us,' Helen said. 'And he has his friends. That's not nobody.'

'He has nobody of his own,' her grandmother said sadly. 'Nobody of his own, and that's why he came down here. I didn't understand that before. Helen, we'll have to do everything we can for him.'

Her grandmother kept her eyes fixed on a point in the distance and said nothing more. When Larry came in and saw them, he pretended he had been looking for something and he left the room as soon as he could.

•          •          •

Helen went to her room and lay down and tried to sleep. She stared at the ceiling, aware of her mother sitting with Declan in the next room, and surprised that the window was just a small slit in the wall, making the room a shadowy, cavernous space, full of damp smells. She had not remembered it like this.

She thought about the previous year when she had come down here with Hugh and Cathal and Manus. The boys had been excited and interested. Manus had a video about hens, and he had spent the journey from Dublin talking about the hens he was going to see in Cush. Cathal, in recent weeks, had become interested in the idea of young and old. His grandmother in Donegal was old; was his grandmother in Cush old? he asked. Helen explained that his grandmother was in Wexford, his great-grandmother was in Cush and, yes, she was old.

The boys had packed their bathing togs and buckets and spades, even though they were only staying one day. Helen explained about the cliff.

'But is there sand?' Cathal asked.

'Yes, plenty of sand,' she said.

'Do they talk English in Cush?' he asked.

'Plenty of English,' Hugh said.

As soon as they got out of the car and stood in front of their great-grandmother's house, the boys looked around them suspiciously. The house seemed decrepit; one of the windows upstairs was broken. When her grandmother came to the door, Helen watched her as though through the eyes of the two boys. There was something frightening about her presence. The boys did not move as Helen and Hugh went towards the old woman. Helen was afraid that Manus might run back to the car, or worse call her grandmother a witch or some other word from his increasingly large vocabulary.

The boys did not want to come into the house. When Helen asked if Hugh could take Manus to see Furlong's hens, Hugh seemed almost too grateful for the excuse to leave.

Helen beckoned Cathal to come inside. He stood in the kitchen, inspecting everything, his gaze critical and utterly unselfconscious.

'Oh, he's the image of your father, Helen,' her grandmother said. 'Isn't he the image of your father!' Cathal looked at her coldly.

When Hugh and Manus returned, it was clear that the trip to see the hens had not been a success.

'They were all dirty,' Manus said.

'Oh now,' Mrs Devereux said, 'Mrs Furlong washes them with soap and water on Mondays, so you came the wrong day.'

'Do you live here?' Manus asked her.

Hugh sat beside the Aga, Helen and Manus and Mrs Devereux at the kitchen table. Cathal would not sit down.

'Your mother now will be here any minute,' her grandmother said to Helen.

'Is she your mother too?' Manus asked.

'No, Manus,' Helen said, 'she's my mother, but she's Granny's daughter. Isn't that a good one?'

Manus wrinkled his face in mock disgust. He hated it when he did not understand things.

'Did you live here?' he asked Helen.

'No, it's my granny's house,' she told him.

'There's an awful stink,' he said.

He began to examine the fly-paper, which hung from the ceiling near the light-fitting. He called Cathal over.

'The flies are dead,' Cathal said, 'and they're stuck to the paper.'

'Lift me up,' Manus said to Hugh.

'You're to be good, Manus,' Helen said. 'It's Granny's house.'

'I want to see the dead flies,' he said.

'The paper is all sticky,' Cathal said.

'It's all manky,' Manus added.

The cats appeared at the window and her grandmother went out and carried them in, one under each arm. As soon as they saw the visitors, they jumped up to their perch on the dresser. Manus wanted someone to help him fetch them down so he could play with them, but Mrs Devereux explained that they didn't like little boys.

'What did you bring them in for?' he asked her sharply.

The day was mild and sunny and Helen thought it might be best for everyone if Hugh took the boys down to the strand. She would go as far as the cliff with them.

She and Hugh were careful to say nothing as they walked down the lane, pretending that this was a normal outing with buckets and spades. Hugh lifted Manus in his arms as they approached the cliff, Helen held Cathal's hand. Just as they came to the edge, the sky darkened and the boys looked down with amazement and alarm.

'Is that the strand?' Manus asked.

'Yes, and you use steps to go down,' Helen said.

'What steps?'

She pointed them out to him.

'And you run down the last bit;' she said.

'I hate it,' Manus said.

'It's lovely when you're down there. And the sea is much warmer than Donegal.'

'It's all dirty,' he said.

'Do we have to go down?' Cathal asked.

'No,' Helen said, 'you can do what you like.'

She realised that they were used to the long sandy beaches in Donegal, and that the marl of the cliff and the short strand seemed strange to them.

'But I think you'd like it down there,' Helen said.

'How long are we staying here?' Cathal asked.

'Just today.'