The Blessed Blend (8 page)

Callie had awakened with the residues of headaches and bad dreams trampling her nerves and sapping her strength. Too wrung out to get up at first, she finally did so when her bladder was about to burst. Once in the bathroom, she had decided that she needed a long, hot shower to cleanse herself inside and out before she had to go downstairs and deal with the flaming curveball life had hurled at her.

She and her grandmother had made the soaps and shampoos used at the lodge, most of them with masculine scents like cedar, sweetgrass, musk, and walnut. But there were some of a more feminine nature with scents of wild rose, honeysuckle, lemon, cucumber, violet, and vanilla. Many of the soaps had exfolients made from ground up nut shells, oats, or pumice to aid in thoroughly cleansing the skin as well as cream, honey, aloe, olive oil, and other moisturizers to soften it. Contrary to what most people thought, lye soap wasn’t nearly as harsh as most commercially-made soap. It was all in how it was made.

Using a loofah, Callie had scrubbed her skin to just this side of an abrasion, as if trying to get rid of all of the old and be brand-spanking new. She lit a eucalyptus candle for an energizing aroma and was using raspberry-rose soap for its calming effect. The contradiction of scents seemed to fit her mood.

Mountain Rose opened the bathroom door and came in. Peeking behind the shower curtain she asked, “Mama, whatcha doing?”

Callie was rinsing the conditioner out of her hair and had to rinse her face off so as not to get any in her mouth. Sputtering a bit, she replied, “Just taking a shower, honey. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Why are you taking a bath now? Did you get dirty?”

“No, I didn’t take one last night.”

“You’re s’posed to bathe before you get in bed, Mama,” Mountain Rose chided. “Maw-Maw says going to bed without a bath is like taking a nap in a pig sty.”

Callie had heard that all of her life, too. She could take some comfort in some things never changing. God knows that was about all the comfort she had at the moment.

She turned off the water and pulled back the shower curtain. Reaching for her towel, she became aware that her daughter was closely examining her. Her children had both seen her naked before, having showered with her on occasion.

They knew about their bodies and respecting them as well as those of others. Red Wolf had gone skinny-dipping with his uncles and all of the small children sometimes swam naked during the summer, so they knew that girls and boys had different bodies. They were old enough to ask questions about where babies came from, and had seen the livestock mate and baby animals being born.

Mountain Rose was looking at her mother differently today and Callie finally asked, “Is something wrong?”

The child looked her mother over, her brow knit in concentration. “I don’t know,” she replied before looking Callie straight in the eye. “Mama, did you and Daddy make us?”

Callie nodded, suddenly not liking where this was going. “Y-yes, sweetie. Why do you ask?”

Mountain Rose gave a thoughtful look and then asked, “Did y’all mate like the critters do?”

Callie was too shocked to move let alone reply to such a question. Where the hell had the child come up with
that?
 
Bright children ask bright questions but this was way too bright for a three-and-a-half-year-old. She stared at her daughter for a few uncomfortable moments before sputtering, “Whe-where d-did you get that idea?”

Mountain Rose sat on the toilet lid, kicking her legs back and forth. “Well,” she started, “you said that’s how baby animals get made. Do baby people get made the same way?”

Sweet Jesus, how was she going to answer that? Sure, she had always been honest with her children about such things on an appropriate level, even showing them pictures of developing babies in a couple of books made just to help parents explain pregnancy and birth to small children, but she had never mentioned her relationship with their father to them, especially any details of said relationship such as sex.
Holy crap!
she thought.

It didn’t help that her mother and grandmother were not doing a very good job of trying to stifle their laughter out in the hallway. Callie was mortified that her children could even think about such a thing, let alone just blurt it out for all to hear. She was going to have to have a talk with them about where and when they could
politely
ask such things.

“Well, did you?” Mountain Rose insisted. She looked at her mother, fully expecting Callie to answer this question with all of the knowledge and expediency that she usually answered any other question asked of her. What Mama didn’t know, Grandma and Grandpa usually did, and what they didn’t know Papa and Maw-Maw did. The Hawken twins were used to asking questions and having them answered.

Callie eyed her daughter, looking into those blue-gray eyes so like her own, set in a face like hers but framed with hair like
his
. She had truthfully never expected to see Euan ever again and was still reeling from the shock of the previous day. She was too raw inside to even think about an acceptable answer to the question.

 
“Mountain Rose, I need to finish up and get dressed,” she dodged. “Go downstairs with Grandma and Maw-Maw and I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Instead of going downstairs, they were all waiting for her in the bedroom she had slept in. Darlene had stripped the bed and was putting clean linens on it while Jolena was straightening up and dusting. Red Wolf and Mountain Rose were rolling the vacuum cleaner along the hall, handing it over to Darlene when they reached the room.

Callie reached for her clothes, somewhat dismayed that she had to wear the same things she had worn the day before. No one seemed to notice as she dressed and thankfully no more embarrassing questions were asked.

Darlene mentioned that there were some biscuits and ham slices downstairs for Callie’s breakfast and Callie headed to the kitchen before anyone could say anything else. As she was eating, Jolena sat down beside her with a cup of coffee and Darlene went out the back door with the children. Callie knew that her grandmother was about to talk about serious stuff. She waited with more than just a bit of resignation.

Jolena set her coffee down and said, “Yer grandpa took yer, uh, Euan fishin’.”

Callie held her breath, closed her eyes, and sighed. She knew exactly what that meant but asked anyway, “And?”

“He’s going to find him out and decide what’s to be done,” Jolena replied. When Callie didn’t respond, she added, “And I expect ye to abide by it even if it’s something ye don’t agree with.”

Feeling defensive, Callie said, “I hope he decides what’s best for this family and sends the son of a bitch packing.”

Jolena swatted Callie’s hand. “Young lady, don’t talk like that with me!” she ordered. “Don’t ye dare take out yore nerves on me!”

“Sorry,” Callie apologized. “I don’t want him here and I don’t want him around my kids,” she stated. “What if he kidnaps them? How can I fight somebody whose family has so much money? Those people do business in all of the world’s markets and have the power that goes along with that. Folks like us are less than a speck of dirt compared to them.”

 
“Folks like us are no such thing, Callie. We’uns is just as good as they’uns even if we’uns don’t make the world turn,” Jolena said. “Besides which, I doubt very much that he’s here to take them young’uns away from ye.”

 
“How would you know?” Callie asked.

 
“I saw the way he looked when he talked about ye, child. I know the look in a man’s eyes when he loves a woman.” Jolena took another sip of her coffee.

Callie snapped, anger and fear making her voice tight. “Loves me?
Loves me?
” she hissed. “Oh yeah, he loves me so much he tossed me out of his life because he got me
 
pregnant! He loves me so much that he denied it and called me a whore even though he knew he was the only man to ever touch me! He loves me so much that he shows up now when his children are no longer babies and can be so much more easily managed on a long overseas flight! Loves me? He doesn’t know the meaning of the word!”
 

Jolena looked Callie dead in the eye and said, “Ye’re seeing this through the hurt. I’m seeing it through impartial eyes. Now ye listen to me, child. This man
will
get a fair chance to prove hi’self to this family and to his children, and to ye as well. Now let’s see if ye’re growed up enough to be fair about it yerself.”

Euan cast out a line, watching as it sailed through the air and landed with a
plunk
in the large pool at the foot of a set of stair-step falls on one of the many branches flowing into Blackwater Creek. The sound of the rushing water was not too loud, but one still had to speak up a bit to be fully heard.

For the first hour or so Euan and Papa had talked little. Then Papa had asked Euan about his family and living. Then they talked about crops and livestock for a while.

Finally they started talking about Callie and the kids. Euan told his side of it while Papa listened casually. Papa talked about Callie a bit, and then Callie’s life after her trip to Scotland.

Papa made his feelings for the way Euan had treated Callie quite plain. “Son, a man should never treat a woman like that,” he said. “When a woman gives ye her heart, she’s givin’ ye more than her love, she’s givin’ ye her life an’ all she is. Our Callie is the kind that can give her heart but once and that for all time. Ye hurt her more deeply than ye could ever know.”

Euan nodded. “An’ if I could go back in time, I’d ne’er hae hurt her like I did. I’d hae told m’ parents to stuff the family fortune an’ stuck wi’ Callie for aye.”

Papa cast out his line kitty-corner from Euan’s. “So what are ye goin’ to do about it?”

Euan thought a moment. “I doona ken. It’s been four years an’ she’s nae happy aboot me bein’ here a’tall. How d’ ye court a lass when ye’ve hurt her like that?”

“She’s afraid ye’ll take the children from her,” Papa stated. “Them kids are my blood and I’ll warn ye that I’d kill ye myself if ye tried to steal ‘em away. Losin’ ‘em would kill Callie, just take the heart right out of her.”

Callie’s reaction to him the previous day had made it clear just how much she feared that he would take their children from her. He sighed and said quietly, “I couldna do tha’ tae her, Mr. Robertson. Even if I dinna love her, I wouldna do her that way. I couldna be s’ cruel.”

Papa heard the truth of that in the man’s voice. He felt a slight tug on his line and waited for another before setting his hook. When it came, he jerked the rod up just so and felt the hook set in the fish’s mouth and started reeling it in. The trout jumped and cleared the surface of the water before splashing back down and zigzagging in its fight to free itself.

Euan watched as the older man patiently brought the fish in. When it reached the bank, exhausted by the effort, Papa gently took it in hand and pulled a pair of needle-nosed pliers out of the tackle box. He removed the hook from the trout’s mouth and showed the fish to Euan before placing it back in the water. “This’un’s a bit small for dinner,” he explained. “We’uns’ll let it go fer another time.”

As he baited his hook again he said, “It’s like that with a woman sometimes. Ye catch one and throw her back thinking ‘maybe later’ or that ye’ll find something better or that ye’d rather just play with ‘em. They’s all kind o’ tales of the whopper, the one who breaks lines and steals the bait, and ye figure that’s the one ye want and none other will do.

“Eventually ye realize that ye’ve been lookin’ for something that don’t exist and ye might’ve missed the one ye really wanted. Or worse, ye
do
hook the big’un and cut the line in a panic. Ye understand what I’m sayin’, young’un?”

“Aye, sir,” Euan replied. He could have understood it well enough in the terms so often used in relationship help-books, but the fishing metaphor clarified it much better. He had hooked the big one and cut the line for fear of swamping his boat.

Papa watched Euan with his peripheral vision. The young man was thinking, which was good. He had watched Euan fishing, noted the care with which he had handled his tackle, baited his hooks, and respected the fish he caught. He had listened to the inflections in his voice as he spoke and in the way he had expressed himself. All in all, Papa had learned more about Euan’s character in the past few hours than some psychologist might have learned in a year’s worth of sessions. He was sure of his decision, but they still had some daylight left, so why not fish a bit longer?

By the time they headed back to the lodge, Euan and Papa Robertson had shared jokes and stories, had some heart-to-heart talks about Callie and the twins, the meaning of family and the sacrifices often required for loved ones, and life in general. Euan was somewhat awed by Papa, whom he considered the wisest man he had ever known. Despite having lived in these mountains all of his life, with the exception of a few years in the Army serving in Viet Nam, Papa had an impressively broad base of knowledge.

He moved with an easy grace through the woods and over the rough terrain, and didn’t mind taking time to point out various things to the younger man. He found and shared some persimmons with Euan. “Damned lucky to find these, young’un,” Papa said. “Between all the critters, they get et up soon as they hit the ground. Make some tasty pie and preserves, though.”

Euan wished his own grandfather had been so willing to teach him about such things instead of the importance of wealth, power, and position. He even liked being referred to as
young’un
, considering it a term of kindly acquaintance rather than a slight on his age. In his heart, he envied Callie for having the real wealth of a close-knit and loving family.

Papa stopped where a spring flowed down a narrow gorge. There was a little-used and barely visible trail snaking across and up the right side of the bluffs framing the gorge. He smiled and said to Euan, “Follow me, young’un, and I’ll show ye somethin’ few people even know of.”

Papa clambered up the steep path with ease, and Euan did his best to keep up with him. They arrived at what looked like a cleft in the rock and Papa stepped through it and disappeared.

A cave! Euan stepped through the opening and walked stooped over and sideways through a passage of about twenty feet. Just as he came into a larger space, Papa turned on a flashlight and slowly swung it about the small cave. The floor was sandy and fairly dry, and the ceiling was about five-and-a-half feet high as Euan discovered when he started to stand up and bumped his head.

Waning daylight fell through another small window-like cleft in the cave wall. Papa motioned for him to step over and look. He looked across at the opposite side of the gorge and below him the cliff falling in a sheer drop. The gurgling of spring water blended with the sigh of the wind as it passed through the trees and caressed the steep walls of the gorge.

“When we was younger, me and Jolena used to sneak up here to be alone. My grandpap showed me this cave, and his brother-in-law had showed him. The first time I brought her up here, I strewed the floor with sweetgrass and dried flowers and a bit of mint and set candles in some places in the wall,” he said as he pointed the flashlight at them. “It was our place, our lover’s nest. This time of year ye’d have to build a fire, of course, but feel free to use it if’n ye can convince Callie to sweeten up on ye again. God knows it’s hard to find this kind of privacy in anybody’s house.”

Seeing Euan’s confused look, Papa explained, “If’n ye’re goin’ to be part of the family ye’d best get used to the rest of us having our noses up in yore business. And mountain folks are the biggest bunch of gossips on the whole darned planet. If’n ye want to keep somethin’ a secret don’t even breathe it in yore sleep.”

Euan nodded, understanding that completely. A few ideas came to mind about fixing the place up for a tryst. He just wished that he had some idea as to how to get Callie to go along with it.

“We’d better get a move on if’n we want to get home fer supper,” Papa suggested. “Dark comes early this time of year.”

*****

Callie and Caleb spent most of the morning and early afternoon up at their grandparents’ cabin tending to stock and splitting firewood. A weasel had apparently killed one of the hens so Caleb set a trap for it while Callie checked the floor and sides of the hen house for any holes or cracks it could have gotten in through. She found a loose board in the corner and nailed it down, then cleaned the hen house out.

While they were working, Caleb asked his big sister a few questions, most of which Callie tried to evade. Finally, in exasperation, he said, “Dammit, Callie, this is me talkin’ to you! I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need to know what it is we’re dealing with here.”

“You’re dealing with a lying, cheating, forked-tongue snake!” she snapped. “You’re dealing with the man who used me and dumped me!”

“And the daddy of your kids,” Caleb added. “You think he’s here to try to take ‘em?”

Callie sat motionless for a few moments. She didn’t want to think anymore about it, but why else would Euan be there? Why else would he have come so far? The world threatened to start spinning as the gravity of the whole situation began weighing down on her again. Not that it had really lifted much since yesterday anyway. Finally she voiced her fears. “I can’t think of why else he’d be here,” she admitted. “Certainly not for me.”

Caleb took a swing with the axe, splitting a piece of red oak cleanly. “Well,” he said as he picked up one of the pieces to split again. “He sure looked like he wanted you. Talked like he did, too.”

Callie snorted and said, “Talking and doing are two different things. Any fool can talk a good game. It’s the doing that counts.”

“What if he’s for real?” Caleb asked. “What if he really does love you?”

Callie cut loose with a string of invectives that made her opinion of that quite plain. Caleb winced as the air turned a bit bluer than usual. He was used to his sister’s temper but this was a bit too harsh.

“Damn, Callie!” he exclaimed. “Do you need to put it like
that
?”

“What if Lacie did you the way he did me?” she retorted. “What if she strung you along and then shit, pissed, and stomped all over your heart like it was nothing? How would
you
feel, huh?”

Caleb looked at Callie. There were tears in her eyes and her face was flushed. Her breath came in staccato bursts as she fought to keep her self-control. He remembered four years back and several times since when he had come upon her crying her eyes out and trying to keep anyone from finding out. He understood his sister as few could - Callie was tough but her heart wasn’t. Whatever she felt she felt to the marrow of her being, and when her heart had broken the pain had gone all the way through and back again. She wasn’t afraid to take on the world but she was terrified of getting hurt again.

And nothing terrified her more than the idea that she could lose her children. Hell, anyone could understand that. If it came down to it, Caleb would fight like hell for his niece and nephew. If anyone tried to take them away, they’d have to do it over his dead body.

But Caleb couldn’t say that he completely agreed with Callie over the twins’ daddy. The Scotsman was definitely interested in his children and from what Caleb had seen the man still carried a torch for Callie. He thought that she ought to give Euan the benefit of the doubt in regards to his children. They’d all be watching the man, for sure, but he needed a chance to prove himself.

He wondered what their grandfather was doing. Papa would discern the character of the man
 
and decide what he thought ought to be done and that’s pretty much how it would be regardless of whether or not the rest of the family agreed with it. Their grandmother would also have a strong say in it but she usually backed their grandfather up.

Caleb answered his sister. “Nope, I wouldn’t like it one damned bit and I probably wouldn’t think too highly of her for doing me that way. Probably be more than just a bit gun-shy of the next woman who come along, too. But you know, sister, we can’t go through life afraid of the shadows of the past. At some point we’ve got to let the sun shine in and take them away. Otherwise you won’t ever be able to really live your life.”

“For someone who’s only twenty you sound pretty cock-sure of yourself, little brother,” Callie replied sarcastically. “Any more great pearls of wisdom?”

Caleb gave his sister a disgusted look and offered a suggestion for where she could go and what she could do with herself if that was how she was going to be. “Everyone’s right about one thing,” he said. “You’re too damned hard-headed and you bite the hand that reaches out to help you.”

Callie suggested that Caleb follow his previous suggestion himself. “If I wanted advice I’d ask for it!” she snapped.

For a while they both took their anger out on the wood they were splitting. Callie put her axe down to pet Fugly when he came over seeking attention. He made happy bleating sounds and wagged his tail with gusto while Callie enjoyed the simple pleasure of scratching his ears and around his horns and feeling his warmth beneath her fingers. Of course the dogs and wolves all had to have their petting time as well, resulting in Callie not getting much work done from that point on.

The phone in the house started ringing and Caleb raced to get it. He came out in less than a minute and said, “Grandma says we need to get back to the lodge in a bit for a family meeting.”

“Great,” Callie muttered. She wondered what it would be like to have a family that wasn’t as nosy as hers. Her ex shows up with the possible intent of taking her children and instead of kicking his ass and sending him back to Scotland, they have a meeting to talk about it.

She sighed deeply, not resigned to the situation but not sure about what she could do about it. Callie wasn’t used to having her life turned so completely upside-down and inside out. She hated feeling as if she had no control over what was going on around her. It was like being on a horse running at a full gallop with no bridle and her hands tied behind her back. All she could do was hang on for dear life and wait for it to stop.