The Blood of the Martyrs (47 page)

Suddenly, out of the shadow, Niger cried out, ‘Oh Lalage, you were so lovely! The way you said things made me see them right.'

‘They were beaten and tortured and they stayed unshaken,' Phaon said, his breath coming quickly now, but his voice still high and steady. ‘We lost them for ourselves, but they are not lost; we are all better for them; because of them the Kingdom is nearer for all the world and they are part of it for ever. They could have bought their lives Carpus, but they never even thought of that. They had been given knowledge and experience of the Kingdom with us, as you will all be given it, and that is so good that there's never really any choice for any of us once we've known it. Because we had known it, Persis and I were ready to die, but that sign was not made on us. And Argas and Euphemia were also tortured and they also died in the sight of all Rome for the Kingdom, and Sophrosyne was beaten and died in prison. They were all led into temptation, because all of them might have denied and might have saved their lives. But they were delivered from that evil.'

Phaon was trembling a little now, speaking at Carpus who had known none of the witnesses. But when he had said Euphemia's name he had heard Megallis start and draw in her breath quickly, and he could see that Sannio was crying and Persis was crying, and Sapphira and Phineas were holding on to one another, and he heard a deep groan from Eprius like someone who was going to be sick. Yet all he had said was simply what had happened. Yes, that was all, Felicio thought, and I have faced this; I will not even move when it comes to Beric's name.

‘And Rhodon was tortured to death in prison and he was a witness, too,' said Phaon, remembering the metal-worker with his scarred hands and orderly mind, who must have been hard to kill. And now it was Abgar who cried out and beat on himself barbarian-fashion.

And then Megallis suddenly said, ‘Stop!' And she stood up from her place, her hands twitching at her veil, and then said, ‘I saw him in the prison when I went to see Euphemia. I'd be bound to know anyone again that I saw there, wouldn't I friends? And not a word have I said until
this day, but oh, I'd swear it was him I saw a month ago, alive and well, only he'd grown a beard like, so it was—'

‘Where?' asked Abgar, standing too, and shaking from head to foot.

‘It was near that temple in the new quarter,' Megallis said, ‘the temple that's half dug into the hill. To some foreign god. To Mithras or someone. And he'd got ever such a big dog with him.'

Phineas had been leaning forward to listen; now he and Eunice glanced at one another, and then he backed out of the lamp's tell-tale circle; he did not want Eunice to remember what Rhodon had been. But Eunice did remember, very well.

Sannio said, ‘It couldn't have been him, Megallis. Just couldn't. You got it wrong. I know. Mikkos and me, we were in that prison and we heard he was dead. Heard it read out of a book when they took us through to the office. You couldn't have a thing in the prison book if it wasn't true. You heard that too, Mikkos?'

‘I did,' said Mikkos. ‘Listen Megallis, they'd just taken the chains off us, and there was our master come for us at last—not that he could have before—and he kept hold of us, me with one hand and Sannio with the other, and I know I kept holding on to the ends of his toga, fair like a baby I was, and the chap at the desk was reading out the names. And Rhodon was one. Not that I knew anything about him then, only times like that, you keep any little thing you hear in your head afterwards. You must have seen wrong, Megallis.'

‘I never told till now,' said Megallis, half crying. ‘I didn't want to! I wouldn't have if I hadn't been near sure!'

‘But if Rhodon lives,' said Abgar slowly, ‘Rhodon couldn't not—be seeing me—after him doing that for me—and I would do—the same or anything—'

‘Oh, let it go then!' Megallis cried out, and her tears got the better of her and she choked and hiccuped, and Eunice brought her over a mug of water. But if it was true Eunice thought, it is doing harm to the rest of us already; he has sinned against us as well as against God. And then she thought, if he is alive and has left us, either
he hates us and wants to break us up, or else he still loves us in his heart and wants to help us—and he will do that best by keeping away from us. Most of all away from poor Abgar. And maybe that's what he's done and it shows he's partly with us still. And she patted Megallis and kissed her forehead.

But Phaon was going on. Felicio listened; no, it was not yet. ‘There were three of our people who were tempted in ordinary ways,' Phaon was saying now. ‘And they were not delivered from those temptations. You who are hearing about us now, you will be bound to be tempted, the world being the way it is. One of them was tempted by money, because he was poor, and he betrayed us and lost the Kingdom and cannot at all be part of the future. Money and that, it's the commonest temptation; it was the very first temptation Jesus Himself saw through and dealt with. Sotion, the man who was tempted that way, is dead, squashed out like a bug on the wall. Mankind is the worse for his having been born. It would be most terrible to have that said in truth about one. And two others had the temptation of fear; they were afraid of pain; Josias and Dapyx let their bodies overcome their spirits, Dapyx denied us and died badly, and Josias killed himself. Their deaths were useless. And made their lives useless. It was as though they had never lived the new way.'

‘Josias never denied us, son,' Eunice said.

‘Except that he was afraid to be a witness. But we remember him still with love. And not one of us knows his own strength or his own weakness during life. It will only be known after we have made a good death. If we get that blessing.' He stayed quiet a moment; he had been very near death himself and he was still very young.

It was Persis who said, ‘We'll get strength for that if we ask for it. Oh, brothers and sisters, I know! I'm only a girl and I don't know much about anything, but I thought I was to die as a witness myself, and I did feel the strength coming to me. Like something you could lay hold of.'

And Eprius said painfully, ‘They had strength. Oh Jesus, you gave them strength to die!'

Then Phaon said, ‘There was another. He was tempted too. In a different way. But in the end he was a witness
too.' It's coming now, thought Felicio, and I am prepared. ‘Carpus, he was one of the rich, but he saw the Kingdom and he came to us. His name was Beric.' And Felicio, to his extreme surprise, had cried out aloud, and thrown his hand out, groping, and Niger had hold of him, had brotherly care. And again Phaon was going on, ‘When the powers of evil tempted Jesus, they said to him, “Set yourself up as God, cast yourself down from the top of the Temple, do things which only God can do.” But Jesus said no. He said, “I am a man, under God.” So He dealt with that temptation. But Beric set himself up as God, making judgments of right and wrong, saying that it was good to do evil at times which he himself might choose. Most likely he did that because he was a master and used to his own will being other people's law. Like a god's. Like the old gods whose wills were evil and unbounded. Until Justice which was always beyond them—which is another name for our God—laid hands on them in the end.'

‘But was this man a master,' asked Carpus, ‘truly?'

‘He was my master,' Phaon said. ‘He used to make me do the things a slave has to do. Against my will.' And he thought of parties where Beric had made him be this or that for the guests. And it all seemed a very long time ago. In the days when he had cried easily, when songs and drawings were always coming into his head. Before Argas had taken the beating for him.

‘What happened?' Carpus asked again.

‘He murdered a man,' said Phaon slowly, ‘he took the life of that one who had betrayed us. Although the rest of us had forgiven him. He did that almost without thinking, in the way of a master. But afterwards he tried to kill again, and this time he had thought about it, and in spite of what the rest of us said and what he knew for himself, he made out that he would be right to do it. He sinned and God punished him for it, so as to save him in the end. But others were punished as well, because that's how sins are, spreading like the rings on water when the chucked stone's already deep and quiet in the bottom mud. And it was worst for those who loved him most; that's how sins are, too. It was worst for Argas.'

‘That's right,' said Sannio, who had seen something he couldn't ever forget, through the grating across a prison cell.

‘Brothers and sisters,' Phaon said, ‘you have said our Words often. You know them too, Carpus? Well, did you ever think what it means, us asking not to be led into temptation? These Words mean, maybe everything. But one of the special things they mean is this. We ask not to be put where there's no good way out, but only bad ways. And that's where we're apt to be in Rome and Rome's world. We can't see how to alter the state of things that's keeping the Kingdom from us all except by murder and violence. You who're new to us, you know the lies that were told about us starting the fire; and we are all very sure that no true Christian would have done that. But sometimes I ask myself whether it mightn't have been started by someone who perhaps even called himself a Christian, but had got so crazed by the state of things that he was trying to finish them even
that
way so as to get the Kingdom quicker. You can't hurry the Kingdom. We know that. But someone might have been tempted to think you could.'

‘Can't we be sure when the Kingdom will come?' the silent woman Marulla suddenly asked. ‘Can't we have a promise.'

‘Sister, it will come when enough people want it. But things as they are stop people from wanting it. They're offered the Devil's kingdom instead—the kingdoms of the world—money power and power over people. We've got to end that before everyone, even the stupidest, will see what our Kingdom is and want it. And we've got to end it at the roots, at evil itself. Oh, it's difficult to say, friends, but to my mind, what's tempting us worst is to try and smash the kingdoms of the world and their power instead of smashing what's behind them. See, friends?'

‘But we can't fight it except in other men,' Phineas said. ‘We see it in the rich. We see it in Nero and Tigellinus and in them we have to destroy it!'

‘We've got to keep ourselves from hating them—most of all from hating one or two men and saying to ourselves that they're evil itself. Oh Phineas, if we do that we're done! We'll go back. We've got to get at the will for evil that
they have—find out first of all, why they have it. That's half the battle.'

‘Surely we must fight the evil will in people first,' said Phineas slowly, ‘but how?'

‘The worst of it is,' said Phaon, frowning, ‘that the evil will makes the power, yet I can't see but how the power also makes the evil will. It's a circle. But there's a weak place somewhere. There must be. That's where we've got to break it, friends. And meantime people are tempted like Beric was, to do evil that good may come. And they'll go on being tempted just so long as things are this way. So long as the rich are oppressing us, making us want to kill them. And that's why we ask every day in our prayers for the ending of things as they are. And remind ourselves that we've all got to help this to happen. Though not by doing evil. But always by some kind of doing. We can't just sit back and say it's none of our business. That's the death of the soul, that Jesus died to save us from. Oh, friends, it's difficult, being a Christian!'

‘We need to keep our thoughts on it, brother,' Niger said soberly, ‘doing just what we see in front of us.'

‘But what happened to this master?' Carpus asked, ‘after he had sinned?'

‘He took action,' said Phaon slowly, ‘of a kind which washed it out. And he was forgiven. And he was one of those who were eaten by beasts in the Circus Maximus. You must have seen him among the prisoners, Eprius.' But Eprius groaned, his head down on the table, his hands beating and picking at the wood, so that the air grew dusty with upshaken flour. ‘And others saw him too.' Suddenly Phaon was staring at Felicio, drawing him to his feet.

And Felicio had to speak. ‘He bought me. Beric did that. With his love and his blood. Because one can't be bought with less than that or the certain promise of it.' Across the lamplight Felicio and Phaon seemed to be speaking directly at one another. And Phaon had been bought by Argas. And both of them were fasting and a little dizzy, seeing things more than usual from the outside, and each could see the tears shining on the face of the other.

Eunice said to Carpus, ‘So there was nothing lost. Not really. And there won't be if we die too. Because we've made ourselves part of something that never stays still, but always keeps on growing and changing.' He tried to take it in. One of the lamps was beginning to burn down; she went over to the corner for the big oil jar. It must be getting quite late. Eprius still had his head down on the table in a fierce agony.

Noumi had said nothing at all the whole time; now she said in a half-whisper, ‘But for those who do not see with their own eyes? How can they be bought?'

Nobody answered at once. Then Eunice said, ‘It's funny, now I come to remember it, but whenever we talked about it before like, we didn't think how
big
the Circus was. So that there was thousands who never saw—not faces. Not so that you'd know it was real people. It was only the ones in the best seats that were sure to see. And some of them were the kind that can't be got at: not by blood nor yet by love. I don't see how you can alter people's minds if you can't, so to speak, get near them.'

‘And for the ones whose faces are seen—for
us
,' Noumi asked again. ‘Can we show our forgiveness of those we do not see? Can we even love them?'