The Blue Diamond (The Razor's Edge Book 1) (15 page)

The rain came down hard and
fast outside, beating against the side of the ship as Sandy made an inspired
effort to keep Miranda satisfied and entertained. He knew he was in a
competition after seeing the angry, but strapping, young Tommy, and he prayed
silently at his red-haired fiery temple of worship, as he passionately gave
everything he had to her. Unbeknownst to him, Tommy Boston hadn’t crossed her
mind once since she’d dropped her wrap. He had, however, crossed Sandy’s mind,
and the knowledge that Tommy had been where he now lingered disturbed him more
than he cared to acknowledge.

Miranda was finally sated.
Sandy was more man than she could have imagined, and as much as she enjoyed
giving her lovers nicknames, nothing immediately came to mind. After over an
hour of him tossing her about like a rag doll and taking her from every angle
known to man or beast, his stamina left her breathless and exhausted. She was,
however, pleased that what she imagined was his one thousandth, and final,
thrust came as he was face to face with her, whilst stroking her hair and
looking deeply into her eyes.

Sandy collapsed on top of
her. He was breathing so hard that each blast of air from his lungs blew the
hair away from her face, like a bull.
 
At
last, he pushed himself off of her with his massive biceps and hung over her,
sweat running from behind his ears down through the fur covered valley between
his expanded chest muscles. “Sorry,” he said, separating from her at last,
physically spent.

“Sorry for what?” she
panted, sliding onto her side to face him.

“I’m no lightweight, lass. I
didn’t mean ta’ crush ye. I just needed a moment ta’ let it sink in…that you
were indeed there, and a moment more ta’ find me strength ta’ move,” he said
laughing. “If I’m tellin’ the truth, I’m not accustomed ta’ spending time with
a lady such as yerself. Most a’ the ladies I’ve been with…” Miranda silenced
him, placing her fingers over his lips.

“I really don’t need to know
about that,” she said with a smile, as she rose onto her elbow and then
shuddered at the lightning as it filled the room. Sandy reached out and laid a
reassuring hand on her shoulder, stroking her arm several times to comfort her.
Unable to keep his worries to himself, and at the risk of wasting time allowing
looming fears to follow him once they parted, he asked, “What about Tommy? I’m
not so sure he’s goin’ ta' take this well. I mean, I know I wouldn’t.” He
smiled a little, as they shared their most somber exchange to date.

“Who?” She smiled back.

“Yer young fella. Ye know
who I’m…” Miranda silenced him again, but this time she used her lips and
pulled him closer, until she again brought forth the passion that drove
everything and everyone she’d ever known from her thoughts.

Chapter
Sixteen

Carbonale awoke sometime in
the middle of the night from a horrific dream. Sweat soaked sheets and what
felt like a burning fever covered him until he was able to focus his eyes on
the last candle still burning on the candelabra. He pushed himself up and swung
his legs over the side of the bunk, pressing the soles of his feet down easily
on the cool wooden floor.

He swiped his hands through
his damp hair and stood, a chill falling over him.
 
He embraced himself and rubbed his arms
briskly to warm them. Precariously, he stepped in the dim light until he
reached the window and noticed the sea was calm and the rain had stopped. He
continued rubbing at his arms until he reached the bed again, where he pulled
the blanket off and wrapped it around his shoulders.

Everything was as he
remembered leaving it before he fell asleep, and his cabin door was still
locked. The dream lingered but a few moments in his memory, but it was long
enough to cause him to rush to the desk, drink the remainder of the rum he’d
left in his cup, and pour two fingers more. After placing the cup back on the
table, he tossed the blanket on the bed and filled the wash basin to splash the
cool water on his face, again and again. Finally, he was wide awake, and the
nightmare faded from his mind into the night.

He pulled a fresh candle
from a box on his dresser and lit it from the candelabra.
 
Then, he walked back to the mirror and
stared, expressionless, at his reflection in the flickering glow. “Nightmares,
again?” he asked himself and pierced the candle onto a holder before him. “You,
sir, must gather yourself and do what is best.”

A soft and muffled sound came
from just outside of his door, and his head snapped to the right. He lifted the
candle holder and walked to the door, unlocked it slowly, and turned the
doorknob. A moment later, he remembered who he was and pulled the door wide
open to find Richard sleeping on the floor just outside, tossing and talking in
his sleep. Carbonale shook his head and turned back into the room.
 
He was just inches from closing the door,
when he again peeked down at Richard and noticed the ring of keys lying next to
him on the floor.

“Do not even entertain the
thought,” he whispered to himself, as Richard tossed again, rolling on top of
the keys. “There’s your answer, you fool.”

However, no matter how he
tried to convince himself the answer was easy, the door wouldn’t close. It was
as if there was an invisible wedge holding it open and a huge hand atop his
head, forcing him to look down at Richard and wait for the boy to again toss in
his sleep. Carbonale held his breath, and when he exhaled, he did it with such
precision as to make almost no sound in fear he’d somehow wake the boy. Seconds
felt as hours, but it happened—the boy rolled back.

Carbonale suddenly realized
he was wearing nothing, and quickly snatched his pants from the chair, pulling
them on and nearly tipping over. When he turned back to the door, he was
relieved to find Richard hadn’t moved.
 
He knelt down and grasped the keys in his hand instead of the ring, to
keep them from clanking against each other.

He still had no idea what he
was going to do, but just as he was about to step away, he heard Richard’s
voice, “Something ye need, Cap’n?”

“Shhh…no, boy. Go back to
sleep.”

“Cap’n?”

“What?” Carbonale asked in a
raspy whisper.

“It’s the one marked with an
X,” Richard whispered back and then rolled back into a ball.

“What on earth?” he mumbled
to himself, as he carried the keys clenched in his hand the short distance to
Ivory’s cabin.

One could have heard a pin
drop but for the splashing waves and occasional footsteps on deck.
 
A few seconds later, he again stood at Ivory’s
cabin door. He raised his hand to knock lightly, but realizing the hour, his
hand ended up in his hair instead as he stood there, looking the fool yet
again. He knew this time she wouldn’t hear him in his bare feet, and although
his breathing was deep and filled with sighs, he believed there was no way she
knew that anyone, let alone he, was standing just outside of her door.

“Sir? I told ye it’s the key
with the X,” he heard Richard say from the darkness behind him. He spun around
and grabbed the boy, covering his mouth, but knew it was already too late when
he heard Ivory’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Richard? Is that you? What
are you doing out there?”

Carbonale leaned down, his
eyes wild and his lips mouthing something at the boy.

“Um, nothing, Madame.” The
boy was trembling with fear as Carbonale held him. He looked into the boy’s
face and mouthed the word, “sleepwalking.”

“I was walking in me sleep,
Madame.”

“My goodness, boy, it’s a
wonder you don’t end up in the sea.
 
But
since you’re awake, would it be too much trouble to fill my pitcher? I…can’t
sleep, so I might as well wash up, and some fresh rain water would be
lovely—that is if you have any.”

“Yes, Madame, straight
away—no wait, I can’t. I’m not allowed to enter without the guard, and he’s
asleep,” Richard said, motioning to Carbonale for the keys. He dropped his
voice to a whisper.
 
“Sir, you best get
away now, Cap’n…sir.”

Carbonale sneered and
decided enough was enough. “Go and get the water. I’ll stand guard,” he hissed.

“But the pitcher, sir?”

“Get the pitcher. I’ll stand
guard. I’ll keep to the shadows.”

The boy’s hand shook as he
searched the keys, and once he’d found the one marked with the X, he slipped it
into the lock and turned it hard until it clicked. “I found someone to guard
the door, Madame, so please don’t try to escape.”

“I promise I only want the
water. Where would I go if I ran, anyway?” she asked, brushing her hand across
the top of his head as he picked up the pitcher and rushed out of the cabin.

“Here…lock the door, and
I’ll be back as fast as I can,” Richard said, dashing off to the rain barrel on
deck.

Carbonale stood in silence
and waited for Richard to return, listening to Ivory as she hummed softly on
the other side of the door. He laid his head back against the door and closed
his eyes, still asking himself what he was doing there and why he’d awakened
from one nightmare only to end up wide awake in what could be the middle of
another one. He thought, perhaps, he simply needed verification that she still
lived.

“Richard?”

Upon hearing Ivory’s voice
again, Maddox could no longer restrain himself. Richard raced toward him in the
darkness and he pulled the pitcher from the frightened boy’s hands. “Unlock the
door, and after I enter…lock me in.”

“Are ye certain, sir?”

“Absolutely,” he whispered.
“I’ll be no more than a few minutes. Stay here, and when you hear me knock
three times, unlock the door and let me out…immediately.”

Richard nodded hard and fast
and unlocked the door. Maddox pushed the door open and found Ivory, as he’d
seen her several times before, in nothing but a sheer robe.

“Your water, Madame.”

Ivory gasped upon seeing
him. He was bare to the waist and disheveled and looked as if he hadn’t slept
at all. “Do you have any idea of the hour, Captain?”

“Unfortunately, I do, but
something woke me and…”

“And you decided to visit me
at half past three in the morning?”

“Well, you are awake, no?”

“Unless you’re still
dreaming, then yes, I suppose I am awake. I just can’t imagine why you suddenly
decided this was the proper hour to give me your precious time.”

Ivory walked to the cot and
sat down. She still looked lovely in the low light of the single candle, and
yet something was different. It was as if the light he’d previously seen that
emanated from her eyes had extinguished.

“Are they treating you
well?”

“What do you think?”

“If I had an idea, I
wouldn’t have asked.”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?
I’m not being starved or abused. I have Richard to fetch me water, and
apparently you took pity on me and saved me from complete darkness. I suppose
things could be much worse—and they have been.”

“I have no idea what I’m
doing here other than to see for myself that you are alright. I’ll just be
going now,” he rambled, turning to knock on the door.

“Maddox, wait…” Ivory said,
jumping up from the cot and placing her hand on his arm. “Is that really the
only reason you’re here?”

He turned back to her and
looked down at her upturned face. Her eyes were sad, but he believed he saw a
slight glimmer of her own light now that she was this close. He couldn’t move.
Every muscle was rigid, and his heart pounded so hard he could hear it in his
head. “Regardless of whatever feelings we may have Ivory, there’s no way in
hell we can make this work. If I were to turn this ship around now and take you
back and release you, do you honestly think I’m foolish enough to believe you
wouldn’t run back to Port Royal and abandon me? You were right, you know.
 
I suppose at one time I was capable of love.
What a fool I was to be so happy, only to have it taken from me in a single
shot…”

“Maddox, I know about
Elsebeth. I know about all of it—well, most of it anyway. I know enough to see
how much you must have suffered. Don’t you think I understand? At least you had
love once. I’ve never had it. I was never as brave as you were.”

“Brave enough to love, when
all the while you knew it was dangerous and you’d end up with your loved one’s
blood on your hands?”

“How could you know that?”

“I should have known!”

“Alright, so you knew there
was a risk, but how happy do you think Elsebeth was for that time? Probably
happier than she’d ever been, just as you were.”

“And here I stand, ready to
betray her memory by wanting you.”

“How does wanting me betray
her? She’s gone. Don’t you believe she loved you enough to want nothing more
than your happiness… and Zara’s as well?”

“The only certainties I’ve
ever had were winning at any cost, and believe me when I tell you it has cost
me a great deal.”

“We’ve all paid a price.”

“Then why love at all? Why
bother, when at any moment, it can be ripped from your hands? Now…gold, jewels,
money—they can all be easily replaced. One’s heart cannot.”

Maddox pulled away from
Ivory, but she placed herself between him and the door. “I don’t care.”

“What do you mean, you don’t
care?”

“I don’t care if they hang
me. I don’t care if I die!”

“Stop this! You do care. You
don’t want to die. Don’t be ridiculous, Ivory!” he shouted, holding her by her
upper arms as he stared down, shaking her.

“No, you don’t understand!
Last evening when I spoke to you through the door, I could feel you on the
other side, just as I believe you could feel me. I knew you’d never tell me how
you really felt.
 
And if you did tell me
you didn’t love me, or care even the slightest bit, I’d just have to go to my death
satisfied with that answer, but…something else happened. I had a dream tonight,
Maddox—a nightmare. Something woke me as well, and what came over me was the
understanding that even if you don’t love me, or want me, or wish to spare me,
the other night with you was the happiest, most passionate night I’ve ever
known. I can go to my grave knowing that at least for one night of my
miserable, violent life, I was vulnerable and I gave myself permission to be
human.”

“You were my prisoner.”

“I was no more your prisoner
than you were mine. Do you honestly think after the first day I couldn’t have
broken Zara’s neck?
 
Couldn’t have taken
Roman’s cutlass and carved him in half and escaped? The only person in your
command who’d have stood a chance against me would have been Green, and I was
given ample opportunity to run when he was nowhere in sight.
  
And don’t forget about that butter knife at
your throat. Had you been any other man, I’d have pushed that knife so deeply
into you it would have taken ten Greens to retrieve it.” Ivory shook free of
his clutch and pushed him back a foot. “Now, who’s the fool, Maddox? Certainly
not you and your bloody broken heart. When you told me about the bounty, I
believed if I could get you into bed that I might stand a chance of escaping
into the night, saving myself from what I already knew was happening to
me.
 
But no, I was the fool who fell
asleep in your arms and believed you when you told me to kill you if you ever
told me no.”