The Blue-Haired Bombshell (26 page)

Lea entered the hotel with us in tow. A couple of ape bellhops hopped toward us, eager for tips. They weren’t going to let the little detail that we had no luggage stop them. I looked around the hotel’s lobby. It was big, inviting, and quite empty. No wonder why the apes were tip mining. Lea waved them away though without a word. The apes obviously knew who she was as they didn’t even attempt to try to help us. The nano she made it clear to them to stay clear, they stopped, turned, and sulked away.

As we walked through the lobby to the elevator, Carol picked up on my vibe.

‘‘Why is the place so empty?’’ she asked.

‘‘Remember, due to the ARC convention the Moon is closed to Earth travel,’’ she said.

‘‘I still would have thought there’d be a few leftover Earthers around,’’ Carol said.

We reached the elevator. Lea pushed a button. She turned to Carol. ‘‘You thought wrong,’’ she said.

Carol’s eyes glazed over. ‘‘Yes, I thought wrong.’’

The elevator door opened. Lea walked in, I followed. Carol just stood there. ‘‘Come,’’ Lea said to Carol.

Carol trailed us in.

‘‘I assume you are going to the suite section,’’ the elevator said.

‘‘Correct,’’ Lea said.

I felt the elevator moving upward.

I grabbed Lea by the arm hard, not too hard, just enough so she knew I meant business. ‘‘What’s the deal with mind sweeping Carol?’’ I asked.

‘‘Stop!’’ Lea ordered.

‘‘But we are between floors,’’ the elevator protested.

‘‘I know,’’ Lea said. ‘‘Now stop or I will fry your circuits.’’

The elevator came to a jarring halt. I prepared to go for my gun.

‘‘No need for your weapon,’’ Lea told me.

DOS, she was good.

‘‘If I wanted to hurt you, you’d be a pile of dust by now,’’ she said.

Yep, she and Elena were related all right.

‘‘So what’s this all about?’’ I said using my best tough guy voice and icy swagger.

Lea smiled. She gave me a dismissive touch on the shoulder. I’m sorry to say, it worked. The ice melted. It took all my strength not to drop to my back with my legs raised in the air. The smile on her face froze then reversed.

‘‘HARV, are you still with me?’’
I thought.

Silence.

‘‘I’ve blocked the connection you have with your computer via your brain and shut down your communicator,’’ Lea answered.

Not a good sign; but I didn’t mind.

‘‘You know Ona, Twoa, and Threa,’’ she said.

I had to play this one coy. Well I didn’t have to, I wanted to. I didn’t need Lea thinking she could have her way with me.

‘‘Don’t play coy with me, Zach. I know you have them on your friends list.’’

I decided to stick with the strong, silent type.

‘‘If that’s how you want to play it,’’ Lea said.

The elevator started to plummet. I watched in horror as the holographic numbers over the door dropped from forties almost instantly to thirty then the twenties.

I braced myself against the wall. I supported Carol. ‘‘I’m familiar with them,’’ I said, hurriedly.

Lea smiled again. ‘‘See, that wasn’t so hard! I could have ripped it out of your mind, but I need your mind in one piece.’’

The elevator came to a controlled stop, far smoother than I would have guessed possible. The holographic numbers on the door started clicking upward.

‘‘Warning! Warning!’’ the elevator shouted. ‘‘My system was offline. I detect that we have dropped thirty-three floors from my last known position. Are all my passengers okay? Your safety is important to me. And not just because of potential lawsuits.’’

‘‘We’re fine, elevator,’’ Lea said, without unlocking her gaze from me.

‘‘It doesn’t hurt to be on good speaking terms with the three most powerful woman on the planet,’’ I added.

Lea rolled her eyes. ‘‘On your planet,’’ she said.

‘‘I don’t think this is about who’s more powerful than who,’’ I said.

Lea nodded her head. ‘‘You’re right. For now it isn’t.’’ She thought for a nano, ‘‘You need to convince them to vote for the Moon’s freedom.’’ She thought a bit more. ‘‘And they need to convince others.’’

Now I shook my head. ‘‘I don’t think those three women can be convinced of anything.’’ After saying that I was starting to see why they just might be perfect for politics.

Lea touched me gently on the shoulder again. This was more out of compassion than a power play. ‘‘For the sake of everybody on Earth, I hope you are wrong,’’ she said, talking as much with her eyes and heart as her mouth. ‘‘Talk to them. Make them see the light or else the dark will soon follow.’’

The elevator came to a halt. The door opened. We were at my suite. Carol came around. HARV came back online.

‘‘I will see you at dinner,’’ Lea said. ‘‘I hope you will have good news for me.’’

‘‘I’ll see what I can do.’’

Carol and I walked out of the elevator. We watched in silence as the door closed.

‘‘What was that all about?’’ Carol asked.

‘‘Lea wants me to relay a message that I’m a little teapot, short and stout . . . ,’’ I sang.

‘‘Why does Lea want you to tell people that?’’ Carol asked.

Ah, DOS!
I thought. Lea has spammed my brain.

‘‘That’s not what I wanted to say,’’ I said, ‘‘but if I try to say,’’ I paused. I sang, ‘‘I’m a little teapot, short and stout . . .’’ I frowned.

‘‘Wow, you have a terrible voice,’’ Carol said.

HARV appeared. ‘‘Lea must have put a mental block in you preventing you from telling us what she told you.’’

‘‘Duh . . .’’ I said.

‘‘No need to get snippy,’’ HARV said. ‘‘Really, Zach, it’s not our fault you get yourself into such problems.’’

Carol and I looked at each other. Carol almost always looked like she came from a fashion shoot, every hair, every lash, everything, just where it should be. Not at this moment though. She wasn’t exactly disheveled, but far closer to it than I had ever seen her.

‘‘Why are you looking at me?’’ she asked. She studied my face and poked into my brain. ‘‘I look terrible. Don’t I?’’ she said.

‘‘Not terrible, just not as good as usual,’’ I told her.

She exhaled. ‘‘Do you need me for anything now?’’

‘‘I do, but you can’t be much help since I break into song whenever I try to explain what’s going on.’’

‘‘So you don’t mind if I go shower?’’ she asked.

I shook my head. ‘‘Sounds like a plan.’’

‘‘I’ll see you in an hour,’’ Carol said.

She turned and headed toward her room.

‘‘Take two,’’ I said.

I needed to communicate with Ona, problem was even with Carol in her room, HARV was still going to be able to hear me. HARV couldn’t just go to his room. He, for better or for worse, and in this case it seemed to be extra worse, was a part of me.

‘‘We still have a problem. Don’t we?’’ HARV said.

‘‘Yeah, I need to communicate with somebody Earthside but without you hearing it. Can you turn yourself off like Lea did to you?’’

HARV shook his head. ‘‘No, I can’t. That was quite an unpleasant experience, just floating around in a matrix of ones and zeroes, me and my thoughts.’’

‘‘What if I shock myself?’’ I asked.

‘‘That would break our link until I rebooted,’’ HARV said.

I popped GUS into my hand. ‘‘What’s up?’’ GUS asked as excited as ever. ‘‘I detect no danger.’’

‘‘I need you to shock me,’’ I said to GUS.

There was silence.

‘‘I’m serious,’’ I said.

‘‘Zach, sir, I am not programmed to help you be masochistic,’’ GUS informed me.

‘‘That’s not it. I need to take HARV offline for a bit.’’

‘‘Ah, why?’’

‘‘It’s not your job to question me, GUS.’’

More silence. Then finally, ‘‘True. How many volts do you need?’’

I looked at HARV.

‘‘Five thousand should do the trick. With my defenses down that should knock me out for three minutes.’’

So, that was that. One little shock and I would shut HARV down and be able to communicate with Ona. Then all I needed to do was convince her to convince the other World Council members to grant the Moon independence, or else. The problems in this scenario were many. You know a plan is not all that sound when the easiest part is getting yourself electrocuted.

I have dealt with Ona and her sisters and they can be quite stubborn under the best of circumstances. Once they get their minds set on something, it’s like they are set in new extra-improved titanium reinforced concrete. It’s not that you can’t break through, but it takes either a lot of time and effort or a really big bomb. I was afraid I didn’t have either in my arsenal. In fact, my armory was less stocked than the old Italian army’s.

I had no good reason for them to act the way I wanted them to act. No proof of what was going to come if they didn’t. Saying ‘‘
or else
’’ to somebody loses a lot of its punch when they ask ‘‘or else what?’’ and you just kind of shrug.

The scary thing was I knew the ‘‘or else’’ was going to be big. I wouldn’t be electrocuting myself if I wasn’t so sure. Sad, really. I could see why I was the only freelance P.I. left in the world. Especially since I was working this case for free.

I lifted GUS up with my left hand.

‘‘Okay, I’m ready.’’ I told him.

‘‘About time,’’ HARV said.

‘‘You’re not the one getting shocked,’’ I said.

‘‘Great, Zach, it’s always about you, isn’t it?’’ HARV said.

‘‘GUS shock me, then turn yourself off,’’ I said.

I took a deep breath. I waited. Nothing.

‘‘Ah, GUS?’’

‘‘Are you sure about this, Mr. Zach, sir?’’

‘‘I’m sure.’’

‘‘Without HARV and me, and with Carol resting, you will be defenseless if gorillas attack again.’’

I leaned my head back and rolled my eyes. Who would have though it would be so hard to shock myself?

‘‘Believe me, GUS, I took care of myself for a long time without you, HARV, or Carol.’’

‘‘Yes, it’s a wonder he survived,’’ HARV said.

‘‘Remember, I have my backup gun and a knife in ankle holsters.’’

‘‘You have a knife fetish. Don’t you?’’ GUS said.

‘‘Just do it, GUS!’’

I’m not sure if I yelped or not. I think I did. I felt the electricity tear from my hand and cleave into my body. The force of the shock sent me hurling backward maybe two meters, tripping over the couch and hitting the floor. Luckily, the plush golden carpet cushioned my fall. I pushed myself up to one knee.

‘‘HARV?’’ I said out loud and in my head.

No answer.

I stood up and walked over to the call button on the wall. I pressed it.

The holographic image of the hotel’s customer assistance aid appeared in the middle of the room. No surprise that she was a pretty, blue-haired Asian looking woman in her mid-twenties.

‘‘Yes, Mr. Johnson, how may I help you?’’ She leaned forward examining my image closer. ‘‘Are you okay?’’

‘‘I’m fine.’’ I glanced at my own image in a mirror on the wall. My hair was standing on edge. ‘‘I’m experimenting with a new hair gel,’’ I said.

She grinned politely. ‘‘I can see why you wear that fedora so often.’’ She paused for a minute to compose herself. ‘‘How may I assist you? Should I send up a nice massage therapist/hair consultant?’’

It was tempting, but, ‘‘I need to place a holo-call Earthside,’’ I said.

The smile stayed planted on her face, only now her head was shaking no. ‘‘I’m sorry, sir, but communications with Earth are currently being restricted.’’ She looked down and touched her PIHI-Pod. She looked up at me. The smile was still there but head was now steady. ‘‘I seem to be mistaken,’’ she said. ‘‘You are cleared for your call. Whom do you wish to speak to?’’

I grinned at her. ‘‘If I’m cleared, you know who I need to contact,’’ I said.

She tilted her head toward her control panel. ‘‘I am placing the call now to Ms. Thompson. I cannot guarantee I will get through. She is an important woman and I am a lowly customer support specialist from the Moon.’’

‘‘Drop my name,’’ I said.

The image of the cute little customer support specialist in a lobby morphed into a bikini clad (or more like unclad) Ona sitting by her pool. The holo-image panned to reveal that Twoa and Threa were also pool-side, equally unclad, except Twoa, who had her high-heeled boots on. It made for an interesting look. I liked it, despite my best efforts not to.

‘‘Hello, Zach,’’ Ona said.

I had to give the Moon tech workers credit, the surround hologram was excellent. I felt like I could reach out and touch the ladies; but considering who I was dealing with that would have been a good way to lose an arm or a leg or something else.

‘‘Greetings, Zachary,’’ Threa said.

‘‘Fellow comrade against crime and evil, it’s been too too long,’’ Twoa said, curling her fingers into a fist.

‘‘Why the boots by the pool?’’ I asked in spite of myself. I knew Twoa was loathe to remove her boots, but this seemed a bit much.

Twoa smiled. ‘‘Because you never know when evil will raise its ugly, toothless head!’’ she said boldly.

‘‘I thought you were only fighting evil on weekends now?’’

Ona leaned over looking directly into the holographic camera. ‘‘She just hasn’t taken those boots off all week. If she removed them now, she’d incapacitate all of the help.’’

Threa leaned into the picture. ‘‘And probably wilt the nearby flora and knock low-flying birds out of the sky.’’

Twoa leaned into the picture. ‘‘My sisters kid me so.’’

‘‘We wish,’’ Ona and Threa said at once.

As fascinating as the conversation was, I knew I didn’t have much time to get things back on track.

‘‘Ah, ladies, I need a favor from you,’’ I said.

They all looked at me.

‘‘Actually, it’s a favor for the entire world.’’