The Body Doesn't Lie (21 page)

As you use these pressure points, say to yourself, “While I am applying pressure and I feel the pain or bruised area, I allow my body to release anger, frustration, heat, and inflammation. I forgive and let go of [name the person]’s actions, and I am fully alive. I move forward. I release anger.” Breathe in, close your eyes, and feel the pain moving out of your muscles. Say, “I am balanced. I am grounded. I let go.”

Now we’ll expand your Release program by adding a few elements to your Morning Glory routine. As noted earlier, I like to describe that routine as a daily reset; it’s the way I get in touch with myself and get grounded before I go out into the world.

Release-Week Morning Glory Ritual at a Glance

After your daily reflection and before your shower, do a session of dry brushing. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been doing this every day since I was a teenager, when my mom taught me this ancient practice. One form of dry brushing was invented in Greece—of course!—and it’s long been a favorite grooming habit in Europe. With its seventeen square feet of surface area, skin is our largest cleansing organ, akin to our lungs and kidneys. When you dry-brush, you increase your circulation, shed dead skin cells, and stimulate lymphatic drainage, moving nutrients from your blood into your cells and removing toxins. Your lymphatic system, which is responsible for about 15 percent of your body’s circulation, transports white blood cells that help rid the body of toxic materials. Even blockages on the surface of the skin can cause congestion throughout the lymph system, and dry brushing is one of the most effective ways to ensure that the system stays active and clear.
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Another beautiful bonus: Brushing stimulates production of collagen and elastin fibers, which help support skin as it ages. (But please note: Never do dry brushing on your face; instead, use a wet, soft loofah with some facial cleanser.) I find that dry brushing wakes up my skin and my psyche in ways almost nothing else does!

Start with a brush specifically designed for dry brushing. Some people recommend vegetable-based brushes, but I love the boar’s-hair brush that I bought in the United Kingdom. Unfortunately, boar’s-hair brushes aren’t as common in the States. (See appendix B for suggested brands of body brushes.)

Be warned: Your skin may be very sensitive to dry brushing at first, so go gently. Work the brush in circular movements, starting with the soles of your feet, working upward, and always in the direction of your heart. (When stimulating circulation and lymph system, you always want to be brushing in the direction of venous and lymphatic flow.) Proceed like this:

• Soles of feet
  
• Tops of feet
  
• Calves
  
• Thighs
  

Now move to the back. Remembering to brush in the direction of the heart, alternate sides, moving in this order:

• Buttocks
  
• Lower back
  
• Sides
  
• Lower abdomen
  
• Upper abdomen
  
• Chest
  

Figure 15.
Dry Brushing for Lymphatic Drainage

Stop there, and then start on your arms:

• Fingers
  
• Palms
  
• Backs of hands
  
• Forearms
  
• Elbows
  
• Upper arms
  

Once you’re done, your skin should feel soft and alive and ready for your shower. Take one last look in the mirror and thank your skin for breathing and your heart for beating. Then take your shower as normal.

At the end of your shower, as the water runs off your body, say a silent prayer:

I am starting to take control of my body, my mind, and my emotions. I am starting to clean myself up. I am watching my fears and my anxieties wash away. I am the power and authority. I am taking control of my body. I am taking control of my life, my fears, my insecurities, and my guilt—all those things that create pain in my life.

Now visualize all the negative feelings, having been washed from you, circling down the drain. Get out of the shower and do your self-massage with oil as usual.

When you’re done with your self-massage with oil, it’s time to transition to your morning meditation. The Release-week version is slightly more involved than the morning meditation you did in the Reflect stage:

Prepare your special place. Light up your incense and candle; let the smell of the smoke prepare your senses. Clear the room to allow light and positive energy to flow around you. Apply some calming, soothing lavender oil to protect and ground you. Place nine drops on your skin, one drop on each of these areas:

• Your forehead, between your eyebrows
  
• The back of your neck
  
• Your heart area
  
• Your throat
  
• The bottom of each foot
  
• Your lower back/sacrum area
  
• The inside of each wrist
  

With the drops in place, lie down on your back with your arms at your sides, your palms up. Close your eyes and take three breaths in and out, slowly and deeply, to the bottom of your lungs. Close your mouth and breathe through your nose. In your mind’s eye, connect each of the points of oil together: Trace one breath from the bottom of your feet, going up your lower back, and then up to your neck. Then take another breath from those special oil points on your wrists, to your heart, to your throat. Say to yourself the following words (or a personalized version that hits the same notes):

I am here today to free my mind from pain and fear. I am happy where I am today. I take a deep breath in and allow my breath to be louder than my thoughts. I say to those thoughts that would hurt me, “Stop playing games with me; stop taking me to that negative place. Leave my body.”

I am here today to allow my in-breath to help me understand. I am present; I am safe; I am alive; I am happy; I am back in my body. I am in the positive and I do not allow my fear to scare me.

When you take a deep breath in, you bring attention to your thoughts, fill up your “tank.” When you breathe out, you release your pain, release your fear. Deep breathing stimulates a pronounced physiological response: Your heart rate and blood pressure slow, your parasympathetic nervous system activity increases, and you feel invigorated and alert.
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That classic advice to “slow down and take a deep breath” continues to be an excellent guideline in all situations, especially those of high emotions.

With the addition of dry brushing and the nine-point meditation to your Morning Glory ritual, you’ll have an even greater Release experience first thing in the morning.

Every time you take your shower in the morning, you’re using the Morning Glory ritual to help you visualize your negative energy flowing down the drain. Now I want to talk about another therapeutic use of bathing: a bath with salt and black pepper.

This bath helps relieve pain and inflammation in your muscles—and it also has a healing effect on your mind. A ten-minute bath after work or late in the day can press the
RESET
button and allow you to be fully present with your family in the evening. A research review article in the journal
Current Directions in Psychological Science
found that washing your hands or taking a shower can help you release feelings such as doubt, regret, or a sense of being morally wrong. The researchers believe that this mechanism might be one we evolved with, to help drive early humans to remove contaminants; alternatively, it might simply be that we humans like to link abstract thoughts (“I had a hard day”) with direct sensory experiences (“I’ll wash it all off in the bath”).
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If you think about how many religious and spiritual rituals involve bathing (e.g., baptism with holy water), it makes sense that water would have an association with purification and a fresh start.

As soon as you arrive home from work or after a busy day at home, start the bath—as hot as you can stand it—and add two cups of Epsom salts and three to five drops of aromatherapy black pepper oil. Because Epsom salts are made of magnesium sulfate, they help your body to absorb magnesium, which helps to balance out your calcium levels and support the health of your parathyroid gland. Epsom salts also help with bloating, stiffness, or soreness.

As the bath is filling up, take a few minutes to tidy up or get kids started on homework. Then, while everyone else is occupied, sink into the tub and, like a child who’s been playing in the mud, wash away the “dirt” from your day. Whether it was your negative colleagues or your boss, all visions of others’ angry body language can be washed away, too. (Alternatively, you can do this in the steam room or in the shower at the gym.)

During the rough and tumble of our day, it’s easy to lose ourselves. The following meditation is a vital part of the cleansing ritual and allows for both grounding/resetting and self-compassion. Close your eyes and see a white light or a white sheet protecting you. Take a moment to think this silent meditation:

I will let go. I will move forward.

This exercise is especially important for mothers who run around and serve everyone else’s needs without properly attending to their own. In fact, it’s
mandatory
for those women. (Trust me: I know your excuses. Just make it happen.)

If you have a more intense weight pressing down on you, one that you may have taken out on an unsuspecting, undeserving loved one, this is an ideal time to give yourself a pass, too:

I am in pain, upset about _________, so I took it out on _________. I have to let go, let it leave my body. I get rid of the negative: Dirt, go away; leave me alone. I release my negative thoughts. I forgive my actions and move forward. I am safe; I am protected. I am healthy. I am strong. I am free from emotional drainage. The pain is leaving my body.

Then think of your kids, your spouse, a dear friend—anyone who makes your whole body smile and gives you “happy wings.” Think to yourself:

Thank you for your love. Thank you for your light. Thank you for letting me be me. I am so grateful for you.

(As with all the meditations in this book, please feel free to modify them to suit your circumstances, but try to stick with the core intention. Here, that intention is “letting go.”)

Hold yourself to a short bath. Just ten minutes will be miraculous, you’ll see. My reasoning? If you make it short, you’ll be more likely to do it more often—which will help you more than doing a forty-five-minute bath once a month (or year).

By now, you’ve entirely shifted your attitude and approach toward sleep, right? You’ve been following all the suggestions from the Reflect chapter, so you start each day armed with seven to eight hours of solid, nourishing sleep. If that’s
not
the case, I understand; I know how hard it can be to get yourself to sleep at a reasonable hour and allow your body the time to wake up naturally. Sometimes it just doesn’t seem possible. If you’re getting insufficient sleep, you can make up for it with a lovely, peaceful, restorative nap.

I can think of no more relaxing, luxurious, self-soothing way of releasing during your busy day. I squeeze in a quick nap (or at least a lie-down) almost every day. It helps me be a better mom, wife, healer, and overall human being. After pulling down the shades, I put a cloth over my eyes, let go of all the pressures, and tune out for twenty to thirty minutes.

According to Sara Mednick, an assistant adjunct professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, and coauthor of
Take a Nap! Change Your Life
, napping boasts many scientifically proven benefits: