The Bonding (16 page)

The temple was a massive structure, befitting its status. Inside the towering domed central room, there were chapels dedicated to the god of war, the god of commerce, several farming and fertility deities, a love goddess or two, and the lady of the hearth and family. Kiri laid a wreath of brilliant orange flowers on this last alter. This was customary for women when they became engaged, but as she knelt in front of her offering, she also prayed for the child inside her, that she would be a good mother. She knew it was time to tell Davin the wonderful surprise their love had wrought in their moment of gravest danger.

Next she went to the chapel of the god of war. He had always been her patron. She left an extravagant offering from the substantial reward the elders had given her. She spent many long moments praying in thanks for her survival and for Davin's and also praying for Jarrell's soul.
Poor warrior
. She prayed he was at peace, with many ancient warriors to spar with. At last, she and Davin made their way together into the presence of the oracle.

Kiri had never consulted an oracle before. She wasn't quite sure what to expect.
Maybe an elderly woman, or a child?
No, the oracle turned out to be a man: plump, bald, and middle-aged, with a pleasant smile.

“Welcome Kiri Taconowa,” he boomed. “Welcome Davin Colorian. It is good you are here. There are many who wish to speak with you. You were wise to come today.”

Davin bowed low and Kiri, after a moment, followed suit. She couldn't curtsey in slacks, and she hated wearing dresses.

“First, Kiri, the lady of the hearth has something to tell you.” The fat man's voice changed to that of a mild-mannered woman, and said, “You are right to think you have held your silence too long. Stop looking for the right moment, Kiri. You know what you need to do. Do it today or there will be consequences.”

“Yes, my lady,” Kiri said. Davin gave her a questioning look, but she mouthed 'later” and he let it go.

“I also have a message for both of you, from Jarrell,” the oracle continued in his normal voice. “He says to you, Davin, thank you for being a friend. For Kiri, thank you for being a soldier. I am at peace.” Kiri nodded, glad to have been of use. She knew he was referring to when she had finished him after the creature had torn him apart, rather than leaving him to die slowly while she saved herself.

She looked at Davin, whose eyes had grown suspiciously moist. “I hate losing friends,” he said gruffly, “and you were a great one. Be at peace, brother.” Kiri slipped her hand into her fiancé's, and he gripped her fingers tightly.

“The last is from all the gods, but it is mostly the god of war who wishes to speak.” The oracle's voice deepened and took on a resonant quality that even on a battlefield would have been heard for miles. “Well done, you two. You have achieved the purpose for which you were both born. Ever since those two sacrilegious monsters, Gorn and Shara, placed themselves against the heavens, we have been setting events into motion that would create our champions and bring them together to face and destroy the infidels, and you have succeeded. You need not worry that your bond is an error. You behaved exactly as we meant you to, from your first meeting. You were fated for each other from the moment of your births, and the bond between you needed to be incredibly strong so you could fight together and save each other. No other bond; not friendship, not patriotism, not even duty, would have stood against such danger. Only love transcends the will to live.”

“So then,” Davin said, his brow furrowed with deep thought, “The reason we fell in love so quickly is that we were destined for each other?”

“Yes.” This was a softer, more feminine voice. “You didn't meet as strangers, for each of you recognized the other as your match, your soul mate, your destiny. You are each other's reward for your great service and sacrifice.”

For a moment, Kiri feared she was going to faint. Davin was her destiny? She was the woman who had always been meant for him? How could that even be? She had always feared one day he would tire of her, but if she was his soul mate…She swallowed hard and pulled herself together, because the oracle was speaking, this time in a sultry female voice, “We were worried about you, Davin, honey. You were meant for Kiri only, but you went wild, giving yourself to everyone. Naughty boy, you almost ruined everything. We very nearly wrote you out of the pattern. It would have been a great loss, and Kiri would have suffered most. We are very glad you righted your course in time.”

“Kiri could have destroyed the monsters alone. She's a miracle in battle,” he commented.

“Yes, Davin, she would have. But without you to guard her back, she would not have survived. The only reason your Kiri is alive today is that you recognized your error in time to fix it. Still, your choices continue to have consequences to this day. Kiri must fight again now, a fight we never intended, because of you. And you will have no choice but to let her do it.”

“That's harsh, lords and ladies,” Kiri said. “Davin may have made some foolish mistakes when he was young, but he did achieve his purpose. He not only saved me from the creature, he made me want to live. I would have said such a task was harder than killing magical monsters.”

“She defends him,” the love goddess cooed through the oracle. “Isn't that sweet? I told you the love between them would be the finest I ever wrought. Now then, you two, you have every chance of being happy together. Yours is the kind of love that lasts a lifetime, even if you didn't get a chance to start it out in the usual way. But in order to achieve lasting happiness, you each have one more lesson to learn. Listen well, little ones. Kiri, you must learn to see your own worth. You are not a broken vessel. You are not a worn-out shell. You have many fine qualities beyond the ability to fight. You are beautiful, sexy, kind, a good friend, and a good lover. Davin knows this. He isn't going to tire of you, so put the thought out of your head. You will, however, drive him mad if you keep on doubting him because you doubt yourself. Severe self-loathing is a kind of arrogance, you know. Take Davin's love, Jaya's friendship. There will be other friends down the road for you. Be humble, but don't be ridiculous. You are both a fine woman and a fine warrior. Know yourself to be good.”

“I'll try my lady,” Kiri replied, bowing her head.

“Davin, one of your tasks in this fight was to see past the warrior to the scared and lonely girl inside and love her. Otherwise you two would never have bonded and the mission would have failed. You did that very well. Now you risk forgetting that the warrior is just as much a part of Kiri. You like to hold and cuddle her, kiss her and make love to her, and these are good things. But will you also embrace the violence that makes her what she is? You must in order for your life together to be real. She will try to be what you want. You must make sure she knows that what you want is what she is. Kiri is more than a soldier, more than a swordmaster. She is a living weapon forged and honed through suffering you cannot even imagine. In order to be whole she must be both the warrior and the lady. You must see to that. You must learn also to trust her when she says a fight is necessary. She is wise and will not jump into battle unless she must. But if she does fight, she will win. Trust her.”

“I will try, my lady.”

“And now, dear children, depart in peace. Your journey towards each other is almost complete. Your journey forward in life together is about to begin. Wait patiently through this last test. Your opportunity for a new life lies right around the corner, and you'll know it when it arrives. We will not leave you destitute. In the meanwhile, love each other well. Know yourselves and each other, and your reward will be great.”

The gods departed and the oracle bowed deeply to them and shooed them out the door. They left a generous offering of coins in the little copper bowl just outside.

Davin and Kiri walked through the streets together, hand in hand, in silence. There was a lot to absorb. Without conversation, they walked into a little street side café and sat. A moment later, cups of steaming coffee arrived, welcome on a rapidly cooling evening. The server broke the silence to take their order, which they gave in subdued voices. Kiri deliberately sat with her back to the street, an unusual position for her, but she didn't want to be distracted by the crowds of people hurrying by.

“Davin,” she said, “I'm glad you're my reward. All I've suffered is worthwhile if I have you.”

Davin kissed her knuckles.
It's time
, she decided.

“I heard something the other day,” she said off-handedly, “and I didn't understand it.”

“What's that, baby?” he seemed distracted, studying each scarred and calloused finger.

“Jaya said women in Koral use magical devices called pregnancy blockers. Is that true?”

He lifted his head and regarded her, his eyes clouded with confusion. “Yes, all sexually active women of childbearing age are fitted with one. Why?”

“I've never heard of such a thing before.”

His eyes widened. “What do they use in Laiconia?”

“To prevent pregnancy? Nothing. We're a warlike nation. Pregnancies are good. They make more people. I've never even heard of trying to prevent conception.”

She watched the color drain from his face. “Do you mean to tell me you've done nothing at all?”

“No. Laiconians don't do that.”

His jaw dropped. “Oh my gods. We have to get you one right away. Jaya will know what to do. She'll have to check, of course, to be sure you're not…already, but…”

“Davin,” she laid a hand on his arm, cutting off the stream of words, “don't you want children?”

“Well yes, but not now. Not yet. I'm not ready,” he protested.

“Well darling, you have about eight months to get ready.”

“Say that again.”

“That night in the cave did more than bond us to each other. We created a new person.” Though nervous about his reaction, she couldn't stop the slow smile from spreading across her face.

“In the cave? Oh gods. All this time, all these weeks, and you didn't tell me?”

“I didn't realize until recently.”

“What about the bite? The treatment?”

“Jaya has checked me,” she reassured him. “I'm fine. We're both fine.”

“Well thank the gods for that at least.” He sighed.

“Are you going to be all right with this?”

“I think so, but give me some time to absorb it.”

“Of course.”

He slumped in his chair, looking lost for several minutes before he spoke again. “Is that what the lady of the hearth was urging you about?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I don't think I can take any more surprises.” Davin took a large gulp of his cooling coffee. Kiri sipped hers delicately, hoping it wouldn't upset her stomach. She wasn't in the throes of true morning sickness yet, but she could sense it was coming.

The food arrived and Kiri ate hungrily. Davin stared at his dinner as though he weren't quite sure what to do with it, and finally took a few bites. They ate in silence for a while, Davin still in shock.

Just as Kiri was deciding whether it would be greedy for her to ask for a dessert, something yanked hard on her braid. There was a high-pitched scream. Instantly Kiri was in full attack mode. She leaped from her chair and turned to face her assailant. Several paces away, clutching her hand and shrieking, was the woman who had accosted Kiri outside her first magic lesson.

Law enforcement officers ran in from all directions. Kiri, realizing what had happened, sat back down in her chair and calmly resumed eating her dinner.

“What just happened?” Davin asked.

She smirked. “Looks like your Kaeli just made the acquaintance of my hair spikes.”

He chuckled. “She's not my Kaeli. But that's funny as hell. She's going to be sorry she picked on you.”

“Damn right.” Kiri agreed.

“Ma'am,” one of the officers, a stocky man in a brown uniform, approached cautiously, “the lady there says you cut her with a knife.”

“Hello, officer. She's not really a lady,” Kiri said lightly. “And as you can see, the only knife I have here is a butter knife. I didn't attack her.”

“Well, what happened then?” he asked, rubbing a hand over his sweaty, round forehead.

“I was sitting here eating with my fiancé and that woman grabbed my hair. It's not wise to grab my hair.”

“Why is that?”

She showed him the spikes. “Ingenious,” the man commented, gingerly touching the weapon. “Did you expect trouble then?”

“No, sir,” Kiri insisted. “I'm a swordmaster. I always braid spikes into my hair. It's just habit. Of course, the only people who have any business touching me already know to look out for the spikes.”

“I see, ma'am. Sorry to have bothered you. Enjoy your dinner.”

Time to take action.
“May I speak to her? I promise I won't hit her. I have something to say that she needs to hear.”

“Only if you stay at least five paces back,” the officer insisted.

“Agreed.” He walked Kiri over to where Kaeli was still clutching her wounded hand.

“I'm going to tell you this one time,” Kiri said in a low, serious, but calm voice.
She can't have my anger. I have control.
“Stop. Leave Davin and me alone. You were not successful in breaking us up, and you were not successful in attacking me today. If you stop now, it's over. But if you persist, if you make me fight you, I will win. Don't come near us again.”

“Bitch,” Kaeli shrieked, “you'll be sorry.”

“No,” Kiri said softly, “you will. Gentlemen,” she turned to the officers, “I want it very clear in everyone's mind what I just said. I will not seek this woman out. I have no interest in her. But if she attacks again, I will defend myself and my man from her.”

“Understood, ma'am,” the officers said, leading a still seething Kaeli away.

Kiri returned to the table, moving her plate so she no longer had her back to the crowd. That position wasn't safe. Davin had abandoned the pretense of eating altogether and was watching his lady with a mixture of concern and admiration in his gaze.

“Kiri, was it necessary to threaten her?” he asked.

His disapproval stung. “I didn't. She threatened me. I warned her. She intended that to be a fight…a girl fight. Hair pulling and all that nonsense. She needed to know I don't fight like a girl, and I won't tolerate her interference anymore.”

“Can't you just ignore her?” he urged.

That's how this mess got started.
“No. She's a bully. The only way to deal with a bully is a superior show of force. I don't intend to spend our life together looking over my shoulder for that one. She needs to be put in her place, and I'm uniquely qualified to do it.”

“But you mustn't fight her,” he protested. “For one thing, she's crazy. That's why everyone just lets her do what she wants. She doesn't realize the consequences. For another, I don't want you to get hurt.”

Does he really think I can't take a soft, lazy bitch like that? Ouch.
“Please, Davin. She's not crazy. I don't believe it for a second. She much too shrewd to be insane. No, she just pretends so she can get away with her bad behavior. And it's not as if she could hurt me. I've taken down opponents much more dangerous than she is.”

“Yes, I know. I was there, remember? But she's a powerful mage,” he reminded her. “A level seven. That's why she's so unstable. They've been trying for years to get her to modify her behavior, with no success.”

“It's hard to make people learn without imposing consequences,” Kiri shot back. “Especially spoiled and selfish people like that. I can take her. You know I can.”

He laid a calming hand on her arm. “Kiri, your ability is amazing, but are you sure you're at full strength? You've been ill.”

“I'm all better,” she insisted, “and I've been training hard since I regained the ability to stand upright. I'm fit as ever.”

“And you're also pregnant. You have no idea how that will affect you, if you try to fight. What if your magic surges, or you become ill or off-balance? What then? I know if you fought and the baby was harmed, you would never forgive yourself.”

Kiri's hard expression softened. “I realize, my love, you are only speaking out of concern for me. I appreciate what that concern represents. Listen, I'll tell you what I told those officers. I won't take the fight to her. As far as I'm concerned, if she leaves us the hell alone, I'll do the same for her. But, Davin, the day she threatens you or me, I will end her. Don't argue with me about it. That's just the way it's going to be.”

“Damn it, Kiri, I don't need to be protected by a woman,” he snarled.

His words stabbed like a dagger into her heart. “So that's what this is about? I thought you were fine with me being a swordmaster. You do need me to protect you,
because
I'm a woman. You've let her harassment continue far too long, because you aren't willing to use violence against her. I have no such restriction. The rules of gentlemanly behavior don't apply to me. The oracle told you that you needed to see me as the warrior as well as the lady, and in this, you have no choice. If she attacks, I will defend, and you will not stop me. This is who I am, this is what I do.”

Kiri tossed a few coins on the table to pay for her meal and stalked away.

* * *

Davin sat for another moment. He was furious at Kiri for being willing to put herself and the baby at risk.
How can she be so selfish as to demand the right to risk herself…the right?
That didn't make sense. Risking one's self was not a right but a desperate necessity. She was placing herself between him and danger because she didn't want anyone threatening their future. Could it be true that putting Kaeli in her place would finally end the years of harassment? Was this the fight the oracle had mentioned? It certainly fit. He had caused this situation by his careless behavior years ago, and now Kiri was going to have to put a stop to it.

One would think he would be comfortable with this. After all, they had gone together to face a far worse situation, fully expecting they would both die. What had changed that since then he had become so protective of Kiri, as though she were any other fragile woman who needed a man's protection? She needed none. He remembered Jarrell, and how he had watched her spar with his burly friend. She had been so beautiful with her slender body rippling as she danced through deadly thrusts and parries. The oracle was right. Kiri was both woman and warrior. He would have to find a way to let her be both. She could still be his. She didn't have to be helpless too. It wasn't easy on him to admit his lady was better in a fight than he was, and could probably protect him better than he could her, but that was his pride, not something wrong with her.
But damn it, I don't want her fighting, particularly not while pregnant
. And, however much he might not like it, it was not his decision to make. He would have to trust her if he loved her, and trusting her meant believing she knew both when a fight was necessary, and how to keep herself and their baby safe if it was.

Why, he wondered, did the two of them have to fight against their pride over and over as they learned to live together as a couple?

Shaking his head at the foolishness of all humanity, Davin got up from his dinner and strode after his fiancée.

She had already reached the apartment by the time he arrived. She had her back to him, sitting on a chair, her head down on the table. Every muscle in her body seemed to be tense, telling him not to get too close. He had never seen her this angry.

Davin trailed his hand gently down the back of Kiri's bare arm. She jerked away.

“I'm sorry, baby. I didn't handle that well.”

“No you didn't,” she snapped, and then she sighed. “Neither did I, I guess. I just feel like, if I'm not a swordmaster, what am I?”

“You
are
a swordmaster,” he replied. No one, least of all me, is going to take that away from you. You are also my lady.”

She glanced at him over her shoulder. Her scars stood out white in the soft peach of her skin, but no hint of tears marred her complexion. “How can I be both?”

“You are both.” He traced one long line down her cheek. “If you give up one, you'll be diminished. You must find a way to integrate the two.”

“I used to know how,” she said with a sigh. “Do you know what the ideal is for women swordmasters? We were expected to be beautiful, literate, educated, and lethal. When I was a teenager, I was often held up as the example of what a female warrior should be. “

“You still are, you know. You are still beautiful, still lethal.”

“Did you know I was also educated, Davin?” she asked, raising one eyebrow. “I spent as much time in school as any other young girl. I've read everything from literature to war tactics to non-violent negotiation techniques to philosophy and religion.”

“I didn't exactly know, but I realized you had a great deal of knowledge. I wouldn't have been interested in a mindless killing machine.” He smiled fondly.
She thinks she's different from her teenaged appeal? Not a chance.
“We've wandered rather far from the topic.”

“No, Davin, this is the topic.” She captured his questing fingers and stared over her shoulder into his face until he met her eyes. “I need you to know I have the ability to make intelligent decisions. I have no desire to put myself or our baby at risk. We are in greater danger by doing nothing than by taking action. I agreed I will not seek Kaeli out. She will come though.”

She's right, of course.
“I realize that. I can't make myself like you risking yourself this way, but I know you'll be able to handle whatever comes. Did you know I love the warrior in you as much as the lady?”

“Really?” Kiri finally turned around, facing Davin with wide eyes.

“Yes. It was what drew me to you in the first place, you know. I was watching you spar with Jarrell, and do you know what I kept thinking?”

Kiri shook her head.

“It turned me on. I wanted you from the first time I saw you two fight.”