The Book of Love (22 page)

A
rt Cavanaugh, Jesse Quartermaine, Sebastian Clark.” As she unpacked each vial, Lucy whispered the name printed on the side. “Mark Colby, Mark Rutherford, Mark Durante.” One by one she laid them out in front of her. “Hector Dean, Zachary Hynde, Ben Gordon.” She kept going until her backpack was empty and there were 103 vials on her bed—103 boys who’d had their hearts needlessly broken.

Lucy wondered where each of them was now. Who had let go and moved on? Who was still waiting for a phone call that would never come?

She pinched a vial between her fingers.
Andres Pink.
“Thank you,” she whispered, “and I hope I can help.” She unscrewed the top and upended the vial over her measuring cup. A single drop dribbled out. She put the empty vial aside and reached for the next one, and the next one. She did this with each vial, whispering the same thing each time, until they were all empty and there was a little pond of tears at the bottom of the glass.

She held up the cup and tipped the tears into the base of the mold. Then she closed her eyes. She concentrated on channeling the energy up from the center of the earth, out through her hands as she squeezed that cold smooth stone. She took a breath and felt a flood of relief as the power from the enchanted violets left her body.

It meant the blade was ready.

And then, only then, did she allow herself to finally really face what she was about to do:
She was going to stab herself in the heart.

The thought made her sick with a fear so deep even her Heartbreaker heart could feel it. But there was no other choice; there was no other option. That Lucy knew for sure.

Because it wasn’t just about her anymore. No. It was about everyone she’d come across for the entire rest of her life, and the ripples she would spread.

If she didn’t do what she needed to do, her Heartbreaker heart would just get harder and harder. And no matter what vows she might make now—to only use her magic for good, to never hurt anyone on purpose—it was useless to pretend she was in a position to make promises. The Lucy who made these vows wouldn’t exist as soon as one of her sisters broke another heart. She couldn’t trust herself not to change her mind. And then what? She would stop caring about the state of anyone else’s heart. She would spread pain wherever she went and convince herself it was okay. And there were too many people like that already. The world did not need any more.

Lucy walked down the stairs quietly in the dark. She went into the backyard and laid the amethyst out on a rock. Then she lifted a large heavy stone and brought it down, smashing the purple casing to pieces, revealing what was underneath. She took a breath. There right in front of her, shimmering and swirling, was a blade made of tears. Lucy touched the tip with her finger and watched a bead of blood rise up like a jewel. It was ready, it was time. And she could not lose her nerve.

She held the blade in two fists, then pointed it toward the smooth skin of her breastbone.

She gave herself a countdown.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

But at the last second Lucy froze. If she really wanted to make things right, she couldn’t do this. Not yet. There was still one more thing she needed to do.

Thirty-Six

T
here was a tangle of drunk people on the steps. Someone tried to give Lucy a plastic cup. Someone else tried to grab her hand and get her to dance. Lucy barely even saw them. She pushed past into the party.

“Hey, Lucicle,” a voice said. There was Jack. He had his arm around a girl who looked like a female version of him. “I heard you weren’t coming out tonight.”

“I’m on a mission,” Lucy said. She tried to smile. “Have you seen my friends?”

He pointed toward the back of the house. “Follow the trail of brokenhearted boys,” he said with a grin. But really he had no idea how right he was.

Lucy made her way forward, through a small group playing a game that involved an empty fish tank and a bunch of bouncy balls, some girls singing karaoke, and a girl giving a guy a buzz cut with her eyes closed.

Lucy walked out the back door, and there were Olivia, Liza, and Gil sitting at a little table, with no one else around. For a moment she stopped and just looked at them, the three of them so luminous out there in the night. It felt like years since she’d first seen them, since this had all begun. She had a sudden urge to turn and run to her blade and never look back. But she closed her eyes and reminded herself of all those boys out there in the world whose hearts would one day be crushed by a Heartbreaker. She thought of Eleanor’s sad eyes. She thought of twelve-year-old Olivia and her happy hopeful face. Lucy forced her feet forward.

“Hey,” she said.

Liza looked up. “Well, well.” She raised a bottle of something and took a swig.

“Hi, Luce,” Gil said. “You’re just in time. Olivia was just about to say something incredibly important”—she rolled her eyes—“so important she had to pull me away from a hot idiot I was about to make out with.”

Olivia sipped from a bottle of water and was silent.

Lucy sat down in an empty seat, leaned forward, and took a breath. It was now or never. “You guys, I think I found a
way to make our hearts normal again.” She looked down. “So we can go back to being the way we were.”

No one said anything. Lucy looked up. They were all staring.

“What do you think?” said Lucy. She tried to smile. Her heart was pounding.

“Lucy,” Gil said slowly. “How drunk
are you
?” And then she let out a laugh.

“I’m serious,” Lucy said.

“You’re telling us you figured out how we can stop being part of an ancient secret sisterhood with perfectly formed unbreakable hearts and stop being able to do
magic
for the chance to go back to the way we were before?” said Liza. “To go back to the regular boring colorless world that everyone else lives in? Oh, goody!” She clapped her hands together.

“Sign me up, please!” said Gil. “Maybe along the way we can all catch really bad cases of body lice!”

Olivia was still silent.

Lucy leaned forward. “But you don’t understand. The world is only boring and colorless if you have a closed heart. If you’re open, every single moment contains the possibility for something amazing.”

Gil and Liza looked at each other, and this time they didn’t laugh—they just shook their gorgeous heads and rolled their beautiful eyes. “Adorable sweet little Lucy,” Gil said. “You’ve been reading too many inspirational calendars. I am seriously concerned there is something wrong with you.” Gil put her head on Liza’s shoulder. “Lizzie, give her some medicine.”

Liza held out her drink. Lucy pushed it away. “You only feel like that because we’ve done too much magic already. If you would just trust . . .”

“Give it a rest,” said Gil. She stood up and put one hand on her newly perfect hip. “I’m going back in. Liza, you coming?”

Liza stood. She and Gil glanced at each other and then down at Lucy. Their eyes were cold and hard, but they didn’t look angry. They just looked like they were already somewhere else. And in that moment Lucy knew with horrible certainty that there would be no reaching them.

Maybe one day they’d change their minds on their own, find the truth the way Eleanor had. Only it wasn’t going to happen here and it wasn’t going to happen now, and there was nothing more Lucy could do. Lucy watched as Liza and Gil linked arms and walked toward the party. Olivia stood.

“Be careful,” she said. “Be careful with what you’re playing at.”

She turned and followed Gil and Liza back toward the house. But right before she went inside, she turned back and looked Lucy in the eye, her expression intense and unreadable.

Lucy walked around the side of the house, got on her bike, and started to pedal away, legs pumping, hands tight around the handlebars. She felt herself lurching forward in the darkness. She almost fell, and panic seized her. She stopped her bike, heart pounding, and it was only then that she suddenly understood that confusing unreadable look on Olivia’s face: She was afraid. And right then, Lucy knew why.

People think memory is stored in the brain. But everything that truly matters is stored in the heart.

Olivia was scared because she knew if she got her human heart back, she’d have to remember what she’d had and lost. Everything she’d been running from would catch up with her.

But if Olivia could still be afraid, then maybe it wasn’t too late.

Thirty-Seven

L
ucy sat on Olivia’s front steps, locket clasped in her fist, her entire body shaking. She wanted to get up, to pace, to do jumping jacks in the yard, but she refused to allow herself
to stand, knowing if she did, there was a very good chance she’d hop on her bike and never come back.

So she sat there. And she waited. And finally Olivia’s beautiful blue convertible pulled into the driveway. Lucy could hear Gil’s voice as they got out of the car.

“. . . our own version of the Breakies against each other,” she said. “We’ll break as many hearts as we can, and then, well, I don’t know what. But it’ll be fun, right?”

Liza laughed. “Sounds like someone’s getting a little cocky now that she’s so hot. Hmm?”

The three of them were right in front of Lucy now, staring at her from the bottom of the steps.

“Oh, look, Olivia,” Liza said loudly. “Someone left a very strange package on your steps.” She arched one perfect eyebrow.

Gil snorted, then stepped over Lucy and went inside. Liza followed. Olivia stood there staring at her.

“What are you doing here?” Olivia said.

Lucy held up the locket that she’d retrieved from Olivia’s pillow. It shone in the moonlight.

“I wanted to give you this,” Lucy said. A slight breeze blew and the locket swung like a pendulum.

“How did you get . . .” Olivia reached out for it as if on instinct. She grabbed it and held it in her fist. “You’ve been to see her, then.”

Lucy nodded.

“And you don’t just
think
you can get your heart back, you know you can. She told you how to do it.”

Lucy nodded again. “Listen,” she started to say.

Lucy heard loud voices from upstairs, the sounds of doors slamming, feet stomping.

“Lucy,” Olivia said through her teeth. Her voice was a low insistent whisper. “If Gil and Liza are doing what I think they’re doing, they are upstairs breaking into the tear safe.” The sounds upstairs were growing louder. The voices turned to shouts. “So if you did what I think you did, you better turn and you better run like hell. . . .”

And Lucy wanted to do just that. But she would not let herself. “Come with me,” Lucy said. Her heart was hammering. “We can do this together.”

Olivia had opened the locket. She was staring down into it. “Why are you doing this?” It sounded like her words were strangling her. “Everything was okay, we were okay. . . .”

“That’s not true,” Lucy said. “And it’s only getting worse.” The sounds from upstairs were growing louder. “When I first met you, you told me most people don’t understand all the choices that there are for the making. And you were right. But the choice isn’t between being weak or strong, between being a Heartbreaker or the heartbroken. It’s between following fear and following love.”

Liza and Gil came barreling through the door, going so fast they were practically flying. “ALL OF OUR TEARS ARE GONE!” Gil shouted.

Liza grabbed Lucy and held on tight. Lucy tried to pull away, but she couldn’t move.

“
What did you do?
” Gil said.

“Check her pack,” shouted Liza. Gil tore her bag off her back and rifled through it.

“They’re not here!” Gil said. “
Where did you put them, Lucy?
” She was smiling a sickly sweet, terrifying smile.

But Lucy just shook her head. “I don’t have them anymore,” she said. “I . . .” She turned and tried to yank her arms from Liza’s grasp. But it was no use.

Her eyes locked with Olivia’s. For a moment she thought she saw her soften.
Please. Please. Please.

But Olivia turned away.

“Bring her inside, girls,” said Olivia. “If she doesn’t feel like answering now, that’s fine. We can wait.”