The Boy Project (15 page)

Julie thought more days at home would help my situation because then it will be the weekend and then it'll be Presidents' Day, so that'll give everyone five whole days to forget about the whole bathroom incident.

The only downside to this plan is the Pepto-Bismol. And knowing that I'm worrying Mom.

While I was sitting around at home today I made two charts.

When I think about all of the time Tabs and I have spent together, here is what I
can't
imagine: life without Tabbi. I've had my best times with her.

But here is what I
can
imagine: life without Evan. Basically, all I have to do is look back on my life to date.

I can't say for one hundred percent sure that Evan is
not
going to end up being my soul mate. You never know. Years from now, things might be different. But today I can't even imagine what school would be like if Tabbi weren't my friend. So I called her. She came over and I told her about Evan kissing me. (I couldn't bring myself to tell her about my crush on him. It doesn't matter anyway because I'm making him one hundred percent off-limits. I mean it this time!)

Tabbi wasn't mad at me. More like sad. Which made me sad. And she said some crazy things like, “Do you think he tried to kiss you because he knew you would tell me and then I'd be jealous?”

And even though I know she was hurting inside, she promised to stand by me with the really-really-had-to-go story. Like I said, one of the best things about Tabbi is that she's loyal. And I'm going to be loyal to her, too. If that gets in the way of me finding a soul mate . . . well, that's okay.

Went to the “family computer located in a high-traffic area” to check out my FP survey and guess what: 146 chicks and 89 dudes have responded! So far, I like what I see. Most guys don't seem to think a girl's looks are
totally
important and they like confident girls. . . . Hmmm.

Even fewer girls cared about looks, but this didn't surprise me. They like confidence too, though!

Ever since Julie offered to take me to the mall — and I remembered who worked there — I can't stop thinking about him. His gorgeous eyes framed by gorgeous eyebrows are vivid in my memory. I can almost feel the way he touched my arm. What if he's “the one”? I know I don't know him, but last night I started wondering if what I am feeling toward JUSTIN is
Love at First Sight
.

What?
It happens! I did some research on it last night and discovered that not only is
♥
@ 1st *
sigh
*+t a real phenomenon, but there are three characteristics that prove you have a case of it. Guess what. I have all three.

Here they are:

1. You are attracted to the way the person looks, but also recognize some other quality. (He's super-cute. But I think that tingly feeling was the other quality.)
   
2. You can't stop thinking about him. (I've been experimenting with name morphs like everyone makes for celebrities. My favorite is Justin + Kara = Jara)
   
3. You want to learn everything there is to know about him. (Do I ever!)
   

So it seems pretty obvious that this is
♥
@ 1st *
sigh
*+t. I only have one problem. I'll die if he recognizes me as the girl who asked about him, then ran out of the store pulling her mother behind her. Good thing I have Julie to help me accessorize!

When I walked through the doors at A&F, JUSTIN didn't seem to recognize me at all. Okay, so I had Julie do my hair and makeup, and lend me her boots. I guess I didn't exactly look like myself — I looked better. Older. More confident! Still. I think he should have been able to recognize me
a little bit
if I was supposed to be his soul mate. He'd have said something like “You look familiar.” I mean the whole point of
♥
@ 1st *
sigh
*+t is that you fall for someone by just seeing them. But JUSTIN barely even looked at me because he was so busy looking at
her
.
Chicken Girl
.

I could tell by her uniform that she worked at the Chicken Hut in the food court. Plus, she smelled like drumstick. Anyway, at first I hung around and checked out the new tops and shorts. I tried to look confused, like I needed help. I even sighed loudly, which is universal shoppers' language for
I'm frustrated because I can't find what I need
. JUSTIN didn't seem to notice. He was leaning against the wall mirror (imagine two gorgeous JUSTINs in the same room) and he had his hand on
Chicken Girl's
arm. The same hand that gave me that tingly feeling and let me know (after I remembered it) that I was experiencing
♥
@ 1st *
sigh
*+t!

And the whole time I'd been in there, Chicken Girl hadn't looked at a single piece of clothing! She was only looking at
him
. Didn't she
know
he had customers who needed him?

When I realized that I only had five minutes left before I had to meet Julie, I cleared my throat and said — very politely — “Can you help me?”

Justin and Chicken
Girl just stared at me. Then
she
answered instead of him. “He's helping
me
now,” she said. She yanked a shirt off the rack, headed to the dressing room, and said, “C'mon, Justin. I need some help.”

He shrugged at me. “Sorry, kid, but she was here first.”
Kid!
And then he FOLLOWED HER!

I think it's pretty obvious now that I was mistaken about the
♥
@ 1st *
sigh
*+t thing. Justin can't possibly be my soul mate because now I can never go to A&F again and that was my favorite store and I'm pretty sure that your soul mate shouldn't keep you away from the things you love.

Oddly, I actually believe Bebe's advice this time. For good reason.

To: Kara M

From: BebeTruelove

Subject: Tip #7

Dear Soul Mate Seeker,

Body language is the language of love. A guy will direct his feet toward someone who interests him.

Tip #7: Try the foot test.

Good Luck in Love,

Bebe

Try Heart-Sparkle Polish!

Formulated especially for toenails, these dazzling colors will help you pass any test!

Click here to order now!

♥ Heart-Sparkle ♥

(Must be 18 years of age to order.)

See, this has to be true. It was pretty clear which direction Justin's feet were pointing when he was walking behind Chicken Girl — and away from me.

I'm not even doing a research review card for this week. What's the point?

It'd be so much easier to face everyone at school tomorrow if it had turned out that Justin was my soul mate.

I mean, everyone could be like: “You're gross for hanging in the boys' room.”

So I could be like: “My hot boyfriend doesn't think so.”

Because even though I don't care at all what the kids at my school think about me, I really do.

I have the best sister ever! Julie just convinced me that everything is going to be okay.

“You just need to stick to the really-really-had-to-go (RRHTG) story, Kara,” she said. “And act self-confident, like it's no big deal.”

She walked over to her dresser and picked up a cute pair of pink-tinted sunglasses. “Here.” She handed them to me. “Think of these as
shades of power
.”

“What of what?”

“Shades of power,” she said. “See, it's your eyes that give away how you really feel.”

“Proof that eyes are windows to the soul!” I exclaimed.

“Whatever,” said Julie. “The point is that if Colleen can't see your eyes completely, she can't get to you completely. If she thinks you're self-confident, she'll probably leave you alone.”

I put on the sunglasses. “It's like I'll have my own personal soul shields.”

“Like I said.” Julie flipped her ponytail. (I hate when she does that, but she's still pretty great.) “Whatever.”

“You're the best, Julie,” I said.

My sister got a funny look on her face for a second. Then she gave me one of her super-quick hugs. “You are, too.”

Spring Valley Middle, are you ready for this? The new Kara McAllister is about to come back to campus packing an attitude and cute shades!

Last night, everything Julie said made so much sense. But if I'd thought about what it'd be like to step out of the car at 7:15 a.m. wearing sunglasses I'd have known

Cute Shades @ Beach = Cool

BUT

Cute Shades B4 Sunrise = Loser

Once I realized this, I didn't feel very powerful. I felt more like I wanted to run. And I wished I hadn't given up my morning jogs with Julie because if I hadn't, maybe I'd have been fast enough to actually escape the entire day.

But I wouldn't have had a chance to make a clean getaway anyway because Tabbi grabbed me, dragged me into the building, and pulled me toward our lockers. I was still wearing the “shades of power” but I couldn't make myself look up.

Unfortunately, walking with your head down in a crowded hallway is one way to
guarantee
that you'll
absolutely positively
have to look up because eventually you're going to bump smack into someone, which is what I did to Evan. And when you bump into someone . . . you automatically look up.

“Hi, Tabbi. Hi, Kara,” said Evan, all cheerful-like. “I miss hanging out with you guys. We should do something together sometime.” (!) Like he hadn't secretly kissed me or broken Tabs's heart.

I stood vthere, my own heart beating wildly while my tongue lay dead as a canned sardine in my mouth. Tabbi broke the silence by barking, “I don't think
James
would like that very much.”

Evan raised his eyebrows before saying, “Right.” Then he smiled, waved, and merged back into the crowd.

“Can you believe that jerk?” asked Tabbi. But she turned around and watched him go all the way down the hall before she started walking again. This let me know that even after everything — she'd take him back. Tabs's feelings for Evan are the real thing.

Watching her, I knew I didn't feel that deeply toward him. Maybe I never really did.

Sometimes girls hunt in packs. Like wolves. They single out a weaker animal and work together to bring it down. We learned about this last year in science. And I learned about it firsthand in English today. I am the hunted.

I knew that Maybelline would go for the jugular the first chance she got. Which was about ten minutes into Mrs. Hill's class. But she didn't do it alone. First The Sponge asked for a bathroom pass. Mrs. Hill handed it to her without even pausing during her lecture on
When Zachary Beaver Came to Town
, which is a book about someone who has almost
no
chance of finding his soul mate because he lives in a tiny trailer that he almost never leaves.

About thirty seconds later, Maybelline
asked for a bathroom pass. This brought the lecture to a screeching halt.

“Colleen!” snapped Mrs. Hill. “You know I don't give out more than one girls' room pass at a time!”

“Yes, I know,” said Maybelline in a sweet voice as fake as her nail color. “But I have to go really bad. And I heard that it's okay for girls to go into the boys' room if they really, really have to go. Kara did it.”

The class broke into hyena-pitched hysterics. I could feel my skin morphing strawberry red. And I swear I could sense Maybelline's smile spread across her face to watermelon-slice proportions.

Mrs. Hill gave Maybelline a sharp look. She rapped her pen against the podium. “Quiet!” she barked about three times before yelling words that will somber any mood: “Pop Quiz!”

“This is all
your
fault,” hissed Maybelline
.
She “accidentally” shoved my desk while putting away her book.

About that time, The Sponge came bopping into the room, smiling smugly. “Sorry I was gone so long, Mrs. Hill. I hope no one else
really, really had to go
.” She glanced knowingly at Maybelline, whose face must have looked like the face of a kid whose teacher just yelled “Pop Quiz” because The Sponge's smile faded and she hurried to her seat.

When the bell rang I rushed from class, even though there was nowhere for me to hide this time. Maybelline was sure to go to the girls' room with her posse, and the boys' room is now forever off-limits. So I decided to sit at my usual lunch table and hope that some of my friends still liked me enough to join me.

With no one to talk to I tried to look absorbed in my PB&J, but I saw Chip take a seat just one table away. Unfortunately, The Vine
walked over and slung an arm around his shoulder. She leaned close to his ear like she was going to tell him a secret, then whispered VERY LOUDLY, “I wish Mrs. Hill had written Kara up when Colleen spilled her nasty little secret. She'd deserve it. The perv.”

Chip abruptly stood up, causing The Vine's arm to fall against her side. Before he walked away he said, “Tell it to someone else, Gina. Kara's my friend.”

The look on The Vine's face was
almost
worth all of the humiliation I've endured. I couldn't tell if Chip knew I was within hearing distance or not, but it doesn't matter. Because now I know that someone besides my sister and my best friend will stick up for me, which gives me hope that other people will, too. Know what? Having hope makes you feel a whole lot more powerful than wearing “shades of power.” (No matter how cute those shades may be.)