The Boyfriend List (17 page)

“Not
a relationship person? What do you mean?”

“I
mean for all the years I’ve know you, you’ve never had an
actual
girlfriend. Not for longer than a few weeks, anyway. You
like to hook up with girls, but you don’t actually date them. And I need
something more than that, Ian. I need something that lasts pretty close to
forever because
that’s
the kind of
girl I am. If I can’t have that, then friendship is the next best thing. And I
don’t want to mess that up.”

The
brutality of her own honesty had surprised even her, so she wasn’t exactly sure
what kind of reaction to expect from Ian. Any other guy probably would’ve been
offended by her accusations, maybe become defensive or even walked away from
her. But this was Ian, and he was different. Yet even all her years of knowing
him hadn’t prepared her for what was to come next.

Instead
of becoming offended, defensive or leaving her perched high up in a place that
scared the hell out of her when she thought about climbing back down, Ian
released her hand and began stroking the side of her face. His touch felt like
a feather, and it quieted all the confusion and angst that was swirling around
inside of her. “Reagan,” his voice was patient and calm as he tucked a tendril
of hair behind her ear that had worked it’s way out from her bun, “I’ve never
been able to get into a relationship with anyone else because I’m in love with
you. I always have been, couldn’t you tell?” She shook her head, barely, to
indicate that she couldn’t. “But you’ve always acted like you weren’t
interested, so I’ve left you alone as much as I could all this time.”

Her
breath nearly stopped at his confession, and she wondered if she was dreaming
all of this up. If Petra wouldn’t come in and wake her up any moment now and
shatter this beautiful illusion she’d created. Just to be certain, she subtly
pinched the side of her leg and flinched at the realization that it was all
very real. And that everything she’d ever wanted was unfolding right in front
of her. He’d said it, there was no denying he’d actually used the word
love
this time, without stopping himself
or covering it up.

“I
need you Reagan, I need more than what we’ve had. More than what you’ve given
me. I’m tired of playing these friendship games. I want all of you, exclusively
you, and I promise if you give that to me, I’ll never let anything hurt you.
I’m not like the other guys you’ve known. You can trust me. Give me a chance to
show you.”

While
he’d been speaking, he’d taken her hand again and pressed it firmly against his
chest, right over his heart so she could feel it beating there. Its pace was
fast, as fast as hers was, and she could feel it was different this time. There
was more there than empty promises, more than a casual fling. She knew she
needed to respond, but words, thoughts, emotions had all escaped her. They were
meaningless now, none having the weight and power that she wished to express in
that moment. All that was left for her to do was press her body closer to his.
Brush her lips lightly against his. He took what she offered, and met it with
the full expression of years of pent up
desire. His passion consumed her, overwhelmed her, and as she
felt the hot trickle of a tear of relief falling down her cheek, she allowed
herself to be swept up in him fully as her heart opened to a sensation she’d
never before dared to feel.

It
was 3:00am before Reagan returned to her room - alone, but fully content. As
though she were walking through a dreamy haze, her mind raced with the memories
of Ian’s gentle guidance as he’d helped her back down the stadium stairs... the
way he’d reached for her hand as they’d passed through the gate, and
intertwined their fingers as they’d slowly strolled back over campus... the way
he’d pulled her into him, pressing his body against hers under the streetlight
as his mouth crushed hers with deliberate passion...the moment they’d reached
her landing, and how he’d pressed her against the door, gently caressing the
side of her neck with his lips, whispering in her ear to come upstairs with him
as his hands worked over every inch of her body. She’d wanted to,
god how she’d wanted to
!

But
something deeper inside of her was telling her to take it a little slower,
enjoy the moment for what it was. And so she’d snuck through the door, teasing
him with just a glimpse of what might unfold as she’d sashayed her hips and
threw him a smoldering glance over her shoulder. The look on his face – heated
desire mixed with uncontrollable need – was all she needed to feel
satisfied. In that moment, she felt like the most enticing, the most powerful
– dare she say it? - the most beautiful girl who had ever graced the
campus. And it was perhaps the first moment since she’d arrived there that her
haunting insecurities hadn’t reared their ugly heads.

And
that was how she knew everything about what was starting to evolve between them
was so right for her.

Once
she finally fell asleep, the faintest of smiles lingering on her lips through
her dreams, her eyes didn’t open again until Petra burst through her door,
beaming with joy and with a sparkling tiara on her head. Tangled in her sheets,
Reagan had been in the middle of the most peaceful sleep she’d gotten in days
and felt more than a little disoriented from being so rudely disturbed from it.
It was early, entirely too early for anyone to be up, let alone up and
bothering her.

After
opening the curtains despite Reagan’s sleepy protests, Petra jumped on Reagan’s
bed and began bouncing up and down.

“Rise
and shine sleeping beauty!”

Pulling
the pillow up over her head, Reagan mumbled from underneath it. “Go away!”

“How
do I look?” Petra threw a model-like pout over her shoulder in what would’ve
been the perfect candidate for one of her many selfies. Reagan peeked out from
under the pillow just barely enough to get a glimpse of her in all her
sparkling glory.

“Like
the devil incarnate.” She sleepily replied before burying her head back under
her pillow.

“You’re
no fun.” Her friend groaned, then asked in her most sing-songy voice. “Why are
we skipping class today?”

“Cause
I’m tired. Why are you?”

“Because
I
have shopping to do. I still need a
dress for tomorrow if you can believe that. Which reminds me....” Jumping from
the bed, Petra swung open Reagan’s bare closet and began going through her
garments one by one, dismissing each one individually. Peaking her head up at
the clock, Reagan saw 9:30 in big red numbers then looked to Petra, part
desperation, part resentment gleaming from her eyes. “What are
you
going to wear?”

Resigning
herself to the fact that she was going to be awake now, whether she liked the
idea or not, Reagan finally sat up in bed and focused a little more on the
issue at hand.

“I
have no idea. I guess something in there?”

Petra
turned slowly from the closet as though Reagan had just spoken a horrendous
fashion sacrilege. “In here?”

She
nodded and shrugged before stifling a huge yawn. It was just a party, and
suddenly she had more important things occupying her mind than finding a dress
to wear – like whether or not last night’s adventure made her an Ian an
official couple.

“Get
up.” Petra demanded, ripping the covers from her body and tugging her out of
bed.

“Excuse
me?”

“Get
out of bed. You’re coming shopping with me. I can
not
have my best friend looking like a hobo on my birthday night.”

“No
way! You go shopping. I’m going back to bed.” Flopping backwards onto her
pillows, she rolled over onto her side as though the debate had been settled.

As
far as Petra was concerned, though, the issue was far from over.

Friday

As she glanced around, hands crossed over her chest while she wandered
aimlessly through tidy racks of endlessly expensive dresses, she began to
wonder what she was even doing here to begin with. Petra wasn’t going to buy
her a dress, no matter what promises she’d made in order to have a willing
companion to join her on her expedition. Nor did Petra need her opinion on
which dress to select for herself, since she never seemed to listen to what
anyone else had to say anyway.

But as Reagan looked back at her friend, she noticed Petra had the entire
sales staff corralled in the corner, and was gesturing dramatically to give
them an idea of the type of dress she was looking for.
Oh yeah,
Reagan reminded herself with a smirk,
I’m here to keep her from driving the staff crazy.
And she began
walking in their general direction. As the search party went off to find
something suitable, Reagan wondered if one of them might be able to find her a
cup of coffee as well. She was going to need something if there was any hope of
getting through this.

“Find anything out yet?” Petra
wiggled her way up beside Reagan before selecting a black dress and holding it
up, eyeing herself in the mirror. Shooting a sideways glance at her, Reagan
shook her head and Petra returned it to the rack without question. So she
was
going to take her opinion into
consideration, maybe the trip wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“I found out I’ll never
be able to buy a pair of shoes from here.” She cleared her throat as she carefully
returned the glittering heels to their shelf. “Even after college.”
 

Petra rolled her eyes and
held up a pair of earrings to her face. “You know what I’m talking about.” Just
then, three sales women returned with several dresses in their arms, and Reagan
let out a breath of relief when they were forced to relocate to the dressing
room to let the
real
fun begin.

Slumping into a chair
beside the trio of floor-to-ceiling mirrors, she waited quietly for Petra to emerge
with the first dress on. While the staff’s timing had been impeccable, and
Reagan was hoping her friend would forget about the conversation she’d started,
she very much doubted she was going to be let off that easily. At some point
that morning, Reagan knew she was going to have to confess what had
really
started to develop lately, and
she wasn’t sure she was entirely ready for the conversation. She wasn’t even
sure if she really believed what was going on herself. It
had
happened, but she needed to talk to Ian and see where they
stood now before anyone else knew what was going on.

“You know,” Petra’s shrill
voice was a little muffled as it piped through the thick curtain. “I can’t
figure out if you’re avoiding the subject because you don’t like what you’ve
found, or because you do, and you want to keep it a secret from all the other
girls in the world.” It was clear by her tone she was teasing, but Reagan
wasn’t in the mood to indulge her.

Turning to analyze her
complexion in the mirror behind her, she pat gently at the dark circles under
her eyes.
 
It was a fair price to
pay for the delicious excitement she’d had, she considered with a tilt of her
head. “I have absolutely no idea what you mean.”