The Breadth of Heaven (13 page)

Leonid’s hands had dropped from Kathy’s shoulders, and he turned away from her into the room. Kathy stood still, feeling bewildered and curiously deflated, like someone who has been abruptly awakened from a happy dream. She was silent, for she couldn’t, in the circumstances, think of anything to say, and she was still feeling rather dazed, for she hadn’t any idea why the dream had been disturbed.

But Leonid had walked coolly over to a big desk at the far end of the room, and had started to sift
through some papers, evidently looking for something. To her astonishment, he suddenly looked up and glanced at her, rather as if she were something that had temporarily escaped his memory.

“Katherine,” he said, “we will talk later. You do not mind?”

“Of course not.” Kathy’s voice was small and tight and stiff, and it hurt her, rather as it had hurt her once when she had laryngitis. “I’ll tell Her Highness that the Baroness has arrived.”

“Yes, it will be best for you to do so. And mention also that she is accompanied by her daughter, and by my friend, Colonel Zanin.”

The Baroness’s daughter! Well, the Baroness could justifiably be proud of her. Not only was she extremely lovely, but she had the power to make Leonid of Tirhania drop everything as soon as he caught sight of her—even when he was in the middle of conducting a flirtation with his sister-in-law’s English secretary!

As soon as Kathy had delivered the Prince’s message to Natalia, she retired to her own bedroom, pleading as an excuse that ever since the night before she had been suffering from a slight headache. Natalia was very sympathetic, promising to make all the necessary excuses on her behalf when she failed to put in an appearance at lunch, and pressing on the English girl some pills which she assured her were excellent for headaches.

“You will lie down all the afternoon, and then by dinner-time you will be well again, and ready to join us downstairs. I am sorry that you cannot be with us at lunch, for Liczak is so much easier to bear when
you are there, but you must not worry about that,
cherie
.”
She gave Kathy rather a curious look. “What did Leon say when you told him about Liczak? Of course, he did not know that she was going to arrive so quickly!”

“He said he expected it would be a good thing,” Kathy told her, remembering his words without the slightest difficulty, just as she seemed to remember everything he had ever said to her.

“He’s a tyrant,” said Natalia lightly. But her eyes narrowed as she studied Kathy’s small white face, and with more perception than she was usually given credit for recognized the tension in the clouded blue eyes. “Go and lie down,
cherie
,”
she repeated. “And this evening I think we will have a little talk, you and I.”

But before Kathy had had a chance to have any ‘little talk’ with her employer, their mutual hostess, Signora Albinhieri, elected to pay her a visit. It was about five o’clock when she tapped lightly on Kathy’s door, and the rest of the villa was fairly quiet. Kathy had been sitting in an armchair, staring through her window at the broad, distinctive top of an umbrella pine-tree, but when the
signora
entered the room she stood up rather hastily, and in an attempt to conceal the fact that she had been idly brooding, picked up the novel which had been lying beside her on a small table.

“My dear!” The
signora
smiled at her, her peculiarly sharp dark eyes seeming to take in every detail of her appearance. “Forgive me for intruding upon you, but when I heard that you were not very well I felt that I should make an effort to find out whether you were comfortable.”

“Oh, I—I’m very comfortable, thank you
signora
,”
assured Kathy rather hastily, wishing that the old eyes were not quite so penetrating. “And as a matter of fact, I’m not really unwell. I
...
just had a bit of a headache. It was very kind of the Princess Natalia not to insist upon my being present at lunch.”

The old lady looked a little amused. “Yes, you should not under-estimate the extent of the sacrifice she made. You are a great support to her, and she is so frightened, poor child, of Elena Liczak. A married woman, and the sister-in-law of the King—the ex
-
King—” rather drily, “of Tirhania, and she is terrified of that woman! She is such a
bambina
,
that one ... it is incredible.”

Not being quite sure whether or not it would be strictly ethical for her to join in this discussion of her employer’s peculiarities, Kathy smiled a little uncertainly, and then suddenly remembered her manners and urged the
signora
to take a seat, indicating the luxuriously comfortable arm-chair which she herself had been occupying. The old lady accepted the invitation, and lowered her unsubstantial frame into the chair with an effortless dignity which Kathy could imagine being instilled into her years ago in Tirhania, when she was still a very young girl, and her life was ruled by stern and unrelenting governesses.

Then Kathy also sat down, and the
signora’s
bright eyes began to study her again.

“Tell me, child, you are acquainted with Elena Liczak?”

“Yes; she was with the Princess when I first met her, in London.”

“She is a hard
woman...
I don’t suppose you like her?”

Rather taken aback, Kathy hesitated. “She’s a difficult person to know,” she remarked, conscious of the fact that she was being evasive.

The
signora
looked as if this reply afforded her some considerable amusement. “Not
difficult
to know,” she murmured. “You probably know her as well as you ever would know her. The truth is,
petite
,
that there is little more to her than you have already seen, I daresay. There is no sentiment, no warmth in her nature. But she is ambitious.” There was a pause. “Her
d
aughter,” continued the
signora
deliberately, “is almost certain to become the wife of my godson Leonid.”

Kathy looked at her quite steadily, but her eyes were very darkly blue, and rather hollow. “I
...
see,” she said.

“Do you?” The other’s voice was gentle, but Kathy had the feeling that there was a hint of steel about it as well. “Do you really see? Do you understand, Katherine Grant, that your loving him so much won’t make him love you
...
certainly won’t make him marry you?”

Kathy’s face flamed. “I didn’t know—” she began. “I mean,” she said simply, “I didn’t realize that it was—so obvious.”

“Love, even one-sided love, such as yours, has an uncomfortable habit of becoming obvious
...
especially,” with a small, not unsympathetic smile, “to interfering old women like me. Listen, my child,” watching the girl’s expression closely, “Leon was born to fulfil a certain role in life. That role may
h
ave changed now, but it is hard for a man of thirty to turn his back on everything that has been important to him since his early childhood. I do not suggest,
cara
,
that he is a man in love with his own dignity, but he is a prince of Tirhania. It is
a
fine thing to be a prince of Tirhania, but it also involves leading a life of service. Leon cannot forget what he is
—
he wishes to serve his people. Perhaps
—
I do not know —he dreams of leading them, as his father and grandfather did before him
—
as his brother, Anton,” with a soft sigh, “does not know how to do. He is not a man, child, who could fade into obscurity.” She glanced piercingly at Kathy. “If he did so, he would die.”

Kathy was about to speak, but, with
a
gesture, the old lady prevented her. “For the moment,” she said, “he must wait. He must bide his time, as you say in England. But the day may
come
...
He has an aim to work for, and nothing must interfere with it. Nothing must be allowed to interfere with it. And when he marries, his wife must be entirely suitable. No newspaper columnist
—
” with a biting edge to her voice
—
“must ever be in a position to criticize her conduct
...
or her background.”

Kathy bit her lip, and when she spoke her voice was husky, and strained, and barely recognizable.

“You need not worry,
signora
.
Naturally, the Prince couldn’t marry me—even if he were in love with me, which of course he isn’t. And I—I wouldn’t do
any
thing
that would hurt him. But I think that I ought to go home to England
—
as soon as possible. If you could help me explain ... to Natalia
...
”

At this stage her voice gave way completely. She struggled valiantly with the lump in her throat, and the hot, stinging moisture behind her eyelids, but her self-control was nearly exhausted, and the tears began to cascade down her cheeks like rain.

Signora Albinhieri leant forward and took one of her hands. “Child, don’t cry
...
don’t cry.”

She didn’t seem to be capable of saying very much else now, and Kathy wished with all her heart that the small, autocratic figure whose bony fingers were grasping hers like a kind of chilly vice would go, and leave her alone. She knew what she had to do ... it wouldn’t even be necessary for her to think about it. It was what she had intended to do, really, ever since the night before, when she had run away and left Leonid alone in the
signora’s
music-room. She had to admit to herself that until now, despite everything, she had been conscious of
a
faint, barely acknowledged feeling of hope
—
although she really didn’t know what she had been hoping for
—
but now she felt ashamed of that hope, for she saw quite plainly, more plainly, in fact, than she ever had before, how tremendous the gulf between her and Leonid really was. And she saw that even if Leonid
himself
had wanted to bridge that gulf
—
and he did not
—
she could not have allowed him to do so, for to attempt to bridge it would do him irreparable harm.

Her tears ceased, and she blew her nose, saying in a rather blurred voice: “I’m sorry,
signora
.
I didn’t
...
intend to cry.”

“Well, it is a good thing to cry, they say, when one has a great sorrow.”

There was a silence so complete that Kathy could hear the birds singing in the orange-trees outside, and then the
signora
slowly levered herself out of the big armchair. Kathy rose also, and they stood facing one another, while the last rays of a rather pale wintery sun slanted through the windows, glinting on the older woman’s rings and the girl’s chestnut hair.

“If you wish, I will speak to Natalia.” The
signora’s
voice was calm and matter-of-fact.

“Thank you, but I think I would prefer to—to speak to her myself.”

“Then I will say
addio
to you, and leave you to become calm again.” One of the thin hands touched Kathy’s shoulder. “You
will
forget
...
in time, you will forget. Everything is forgotten in time.”

When she had gone, Kathy wandered over to the window, and stood looking out. Despite the fact that this was Italy, and the Mediterranean lay less than a quarter of a mile away, the sky looked cold and rather menacing now that the sun had slipped below the horizon, and heavy grey clouds were building up behind the umbrella pines. She remembered that in England, too, the skies would be grey—in fact, the weather would probably be very bad indeed. She wondered how she would feel when she found herself once again resident in her own country, and how easy or otherwise it would be for her to get another job. She didn’t want to trade upon the fact that she had been employed by the Karanskas
...
But she had some rather excellent qualifications in any case, and if she went to a good agency it shouldn’t be too difficult. She started to think about the journey home. Since arriving in Italy she had spent little or nothing of her salary, and she should be able to pay her own way back to England. She would go overland, of course—that should be much cheaper than travelling by air. And she still had a small sum of
money in the bank at home; enough to tide her over until she did succeed in securing a new job.

She let her mind dwell for a long time on the practical details of getting home; it was so much safer than dwelling on other things.

Just before six o’clock she made up her mind to go to Natalia’s room, and tell her employer everything without any further delay. Natalia had said they must have a little talk—she wondered, briefly, what had been meant by that—and somehow she thought the other girl would understand how she felt, better perhaps, than anybody else. Whatever Natalia’s failings and weakness might be, she could be very kind, and she was sensitive—to others feelings, as well as her own.

But just as Kathy was about to leave her room, she was temporarily halted by the sudden arrival of Natalia’s maid, who had been entrusted with an urgent request for the English girl to visit her mistress immediately. The maid did not speak very much English, but her eyes were sparkling like stars, and she radiated a kind of suppressed excitement.

When Kathy reached the Princess’s room, her employer was standing in front of a wide open wardrobe, and there was a dress over her arm. It was a white dress with a long, trailing skirt, and it had the unmistakable shimmer of pure, expensive silk. It was an evening dress, and as Kathy stood in the doorway watching, Natalia held it up against herself, and executed a half pirouette in front of one of the mirrors lining the wardrobe doors. Then, as she turned, she caught sight of Kathy, and almost seemed to dance towards her.

“
Cherie
,
do you like this dress? I bought it in Paris, and people always say that white suits me well, and yet—do you think that perhaps black
... or the grey chiffon? As I am a widow, and a—what is the word?—an exile, and I want to do what is
convenable
,
of course.”