Authors: Beverly Lewis
The Brethren (16 page)
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should know it. He divided his frustration between Annie’s Ben and Yonie’s girlfriend and if she didn’t look like the daughter of one of their neighbors, the Zimmermans! Yonie and Dory dear!
These young bucks and their girls, he thought, wishing something could be done to eliminate all the nonsense the runnimg-around years served up. Several fathers had wanted to address this subject in recent months, but Bishop Andy had saiid repeatedly, “It is our way.” And that was that.
Truth be known, in Jesse’s mind, the knowledge that he was the Lord God’s second choice for preacher was ever before him. And he’d nearly convinced himself that was why he’d failed to rein in Annie … and evidently Yonie, too.
Annie was worried sick about Essie scared she might lose her baby. This, along with Daed’s reaction to Ben, continued to plague her. She was sure Ben’s presence in the community would drive a greater wedge between herself and Daed. Yet why should she care? Hadn’t she already cut herself off by not submitting?
She? stewed till she was nearly woozy, wondering if Ben and Essie had arrived safely at the nearby hospital, worried that she may have actually caused Essie’s pains somehow. Esther had become entirely too upset at the mention of Isaac, amd Annie realized she could have handled things far better. Was I too pushy?
Annie second-guessed the whole thing while she walked the length of the upstairs with fussy Essie Ann. Now and then, side looked in on Zach and John, always mindful of
194 John’s breathing, making sure he was not close to having another asthma attack. Essie reminded her often that the coming of spring and summer were hard on John. There’s something difficult about the changing of the seasons, she decided, thinking of Cousin Julia’s children, as well. In April, James and Molly had had trouble adjusting to daylight saving time. Annie shook her head, thankful that the People did not switch over from fast time to slow time. No, staying the same was the best way to be.
Essie Ann’s head popped up off Annie’s shoulder again and she began to cry. “Jah, it’s all right, little one. … Mamma will be home soon.” She hoped that was true, because this one would be needing some nourishment here before long, and there was nothing worse than a hungry nursing baby without its mother.
She stroked Essie Ann’s soft head, sliding her hand down to caress the baby’s neck, feeling the little wrinkles. “You’re all right,” she whispered. “Now go back to sleep.”
Thinking that rocking might do the trick, she carried her to the big rocker in Essie’s bedroom, glancing in Laura’s room and seeing that she’d fallen asleep with a book on her chest. “Such dear ones,” she whispered, and as she patted the baby, she thought of her father’s argument regarding Zeke. Why hadn’t Isaac’s brother recognized him?
Because he’s not in his right mind, Annie thought, but then reconsidered. Who says Zeke didn’t recognize Ben? Not by name, maybe, but in a different sort of way. After all, hadn’t Zeke been drawn to Ben? Sure he was. And Zeke rarely made friends with anyone. Maybe the whole unfathomable incident his brother returning as an Englischer had
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stirred up something awful in Zeke’s mind, compounding his problems.
Annie closed her eyes just as Esther often did, addressing the Lord of heaven and earth, less sheepish about it each time she did. “O Lord God, I ask that you hear my prayer. Thank you for bringing Isaac back to all of us and may it be possible for the truth of his identity to be received by the very ones who need him most. For this I am most grateful, dear Lord. Amen.”
An undeniable sense of peace rilled the room, and she basked in it, aware now that the sweet baby in her arms had gone limp with sleep. Not willing to take any chances with Essie Ann’s awaking, Annie continued to gently rock, feeling the weight of this little one, thinking of all the good things the Lord Jesus, as Essie called the Son of God, had brought into her life. All the blessings, jah, that’s how Essie says it these days.
She knew Julia saw things the same way. Blessings were a direct gift from the hand of the Father to His dear children. So if that was true, was Ben Martin well … Isaac exactly that? A divine blessing?
Smiling, she leaned her head back, resting in the truth, if that’s what it was. All things work together for good, she thought, recalling Ben’s words yet again. Why did that Scripture keep coming to her mind? Annie didn’t know, but she knew her heart was more open to the things both Essie and Julia said now than a year ago.
Letting her mind drift to Essie’s pregnancy, she remembered her mother having let slip once, to daughter-in-law Sarah Mae, that she heartily believed the Lord God knew
196 she would be a better mother of sons than of daughters. Thus, perhaps, the reason why Barbara Zook had birthed six boys and only one Annie.
What made me think of that? she wondered. Would Essie have many more sons and please her husband in that?
After a time, she heard Ben’s car pull up to the back door, and she rose silently to put Essie Ann in her crib, then hurried downstairs to see how Essie was doing. Let her be all right, Lord, she pleaded.
Esther was terrified. She had been bleeding for much too long, with intense pains across her abdomen and down her thighs. Suffering with deep dread and complete exhaustion, she longed to be warm … craved solitude. She knew her baby was in danger, and she must remain overnight in a hospital, far from her home and Essie Ann, who was dependent upon her for nourishment. “A wet nurse,” she had urged upon Ben, explaining how he must rush home to Annie with this request. “But keep it quiet as to my whereabouts,” she’d warned him, lest the news spread and the People guess her condition, though she had not come right out and told Ben what that was. Even now, she wanted desperately to protect her poor husband from a possible excommunication, which the brethren would surely put on him for breaking the rules of her shun.
The nurses were helpful and kind, yet she saw how curiously they looked at her. Because I’m Plain. She was different, and that was quite clear here in this fancy place, the blank television hovering nearly over her and all the worldly
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gadgets around her an electric bed that moved up and down, of all things!
She set to praying for those who would be assisting her during the night, asking God to protect the young life she had conceived, even against the will of the People.
“Complete bed rest” had been the doctor’s strict order. Oh, she’d give anything not to have been present at the house when Annie brought her friend over this day! If only there had not been such a constricting in her heart. She had felt instantly nauseated, then she’d stood all the while, serving coffee, wanting to honor the preacher by not sharing the same table.
But to think that Ben might be Isaac had been ever so startling. And if such news was able to upset her so, threatening the life of her precious little one, then what on earth would it do to Zeke? Surely she must not allow herself to fret this way, but, oh, she could not will herself to relax. Every muscle in her body was tense. must rest in the Lord… .
Earlier, after Ben, Preacher Jesse, and Annie had left the house, Esther had set about treating her symptoms with wild yam root the most bitter of teas then black haw root bark, homeopathic remedies she much preferred to drugs and this hospital setting. But her efforts had been in vain, and after a time, she had sent Laura to go and fetch Annie, who insisted she go to the hospital.
She could not let this baby die! O dear Lord, calm my heart and prepare the way for Zeke, I ask. Help this most peculiar news not to disturb my troubled husband any further… .
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A couple hours later, when the telephone rang next to her bed, Esther scarcely knew enough to pick it up. But one of the nurses was on hand and did so for her. “Yes, Esther’s right here. I’ll let you speak with her.”
The nurse covered the phone with her hand and said, “It’s someone named Ben, calling about your baby at home.”’
Let it be good news She took the phone from the
nurse. “Hullo?”
“Esther, I’m calling for Annie. She’s with your children.” Ben went on to say that a neighbor of Julia’s had driven to the house to nurse Essie Ann in Esther’s absence. “Annie’s hoping this is all right with you.”
“Oh my, yes.” I can trust Julia. “It was so kind of you to let me know.” She felt truly relieved and ever so strange speaking to Ben as though he were family.
“Annie doesn’t want you to worry, Esther. She’s comfortable taking care of the children and the house for as long as necessary.”
“Jah, I know she’ll do just fine.”
He said a few more very considerate things to her before saying good-bye.
Though deeply grateful for their help, Esther could not stop the flow of tears, and as she wept, she prayed. May your will be done, O Lord.
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Den didn’t like to think about Annie all alone at Esther’s
with four little children, managing supper preparations on her own, though it appeared that young Laura was a willing and eager assistant.
Helping Julia set the table as Irvin arrived home, Ben was impressed by her abilities. His own mom was not so keen on putting on a big spread, or cooking in general, except for holidays or special occasions. Typically, she was much more happy having Dad get takeout. His standing joke was that he was the food-getter.
Happy is the man who marries a cook, Ben thought.
Irvin kissed Julia soundly on the lips, then hugged James and Molly when they came running to greet him.
“Hello, Ben! How are things?” Irvin moved to the sink and washed up.
“Interesting,” he said, glancing at Julia, who’d already heard the news regarding Esther, though he’d remained mum about his more personal news. “I happened to run into Annie by the old covered bridge yesterday.”
200 Scrubbing his hands, Ilrvin turned and grinned. “Really now. What a coincidence!”
Ben smiled, too. James and Molly were getting settled into their chairs.
“I’m concerned about Esther. How’s she doing?” Julia asked, carrying a platter of roast beef and baby onions to the table. She quickly filled Irvin in on the events of the day.
uWhen I left the hospiital, she seemed to be in less pain and was resting,” Ben said.. He mentioned having called her later, at Annie’s request, regarding the arrangement for Essie Ann.
“I’m glad Esther knows about the wet nurse. She shouldn’t be worrying about her little one tonight.” Julia paused. “Did the doctor give any indication how long Esther would be in?”
“Overnight is my understanding,” Ben replied.
“I’ll visit her first thing tomorrow, then,” Julia said.
Ben nodded. “I think Annie would appreciate it. She’ll be busy with the Hochstetler children.”
Julia’s eyes twinkled. “Well, why not give her a hand, Ben?”
He smiled at her. “I just might.”
After the meal, when Irvin had finished helping in the kitchen and the children were off for their baths, Ben welcomed Irvin’s company.
These had been a strange couple of days, and he needed to share his news with someone who might offer further wisdom. Someone whom he particularly respected, like Irvin.
As concisely as possible, Ben filled him in on having
201 been told in Kentucky of his adoption.
Irvin listened quietly, nodding his head, his eyes registering empathy. But when Ben finally shared his newfound suspicion that he and Zeke’s missing brother were one and the same, Irvin’s eyebrows shot up. He scrutinized Ben for a moment, as if wondering if perhaps the young man were pulling his leg. “My, that’s quite a leap.” Irvin ran his hand through his hair.
“Isn’t it, though?” Ben chuckled. “I still haven’t had the time to fully digest it.” He showed Irvin the magazine cover he’d carried in his wallet since last Christmas. “One thing is certain: Annie’s painting led me to come here last winter. And it was also Annie who put it all together about my family history.” He shared openly about the strange visions he had had since learning of his adoption, and of his own gradual realization that he was indeed who Annie had said.
“How does Jesse Zook take to this news, assuming Annie told him?”
Ben inhaled. “He doesn’t buy it.”
Irvin considered this. “Well, there are ways to prove that you’re Isaac, you know. If you are, that is.”
Ben nodded. He’d already thought of DNA tests, which were the obvious means to him, though they would no doubt sound like English mumbo jumbo to Jesse Zook. Likely the preacher would have to approve Zeke undergoing such a test with him.
“I would be willing, if it comes to that,” Ben said. “But I’m not ready to push it yet.” He paused, feeling tired. “Going from being the Martins’ son to finding out that I
202 might have been born here in Amish country faasbteen a jolt to me, no question.”
“So what will you do now?” Irvin asked.
“Take things one day at a time … if you don’t mind letting me stay on a while. I’ll pay you room and board I sure don’t expect a handout.”
“Oh, we can work out the details later. Not a problem.”
Ben thanked Irvin profusely, then excused himself for bed. He had to tread lightly, he believed, especially where Annie’s family was concerned. Claiming his identity out’ right could blow up in their faces.
Yet there was no evidence of hesitation on Annie’s part this time. The idea that something had changed in the way she viewed their relationship was both exciting and mystifying, although Ben wondered how long he could hang around before the Amish brethren ran him off again.
Time will tell.
Zeke was having a horrible night. Up and down, from his bed to the window he went, missing Esther, wishing for something to grab ahold of while he slept. An extra pillow would do.
He wandered out to the common living area and found a throw pillow on the sofa. Carrying it back to his own bed, he got in and pressed the pillow to his chest, all the while imagining Esther’s supple and soft body. I must get well. Must get out of this place and return home, and soon. He felt desperately lost without his wife.
He propped his head up on his bed pillow and, still
203 clutching the smaller one to his chest, mulled over his day. A long one to be sure, though not as physically exhausting as getting up with the chickens and plowing or planting for hours on end. Still, it had been stressful, with several sessions today including other troubled folk, some more disturbed than he, going around the circle talking about feel’ ings supposedly suppressed. His doctor had also talked of upping his anti-depression medication, which Zeke wasn’t happy about not that he had much say around there. Will
I ever be well enough to return to the People … to my family?
By the way Esther had walked out on him when she visited, he wasn’t too sure if she’d even have him back. But no, why should he think such a thing? He was in charge always had been. She had no say, under God … nor under her husband.
But she had been somewhat lippy, standing up to him toward the end. Her attitude had stung him. He wouldn’t allow his woman to have the upper hand next visit.
He gripped the pillow and began weeping silently. “Esther, my Esther, each, how I miss you,” he whispered into the darkness.
Ben lay awake as one childhood recollection after another pervaded his brain, as if the floodgates had fully opened. He squelched a laugh, recalling his rough, dry feet as a boy and his fascination with peeling thin layers of the skin in strips off the callouses on his big toes until his toes started to bleed. His father belittled him for it, but his older brother thought the habit quite funny. It was Mamma,
