The Bridal Hunt (7 page)

Good! He deserves it!

The massive giant who held me turned me around in his arms so I faced him, looking at me curiously as I matched him stare for stare, legs swinging uselessly as he held me aloft, holding me up and out like I weighed nothing.

Judging by the breadth and width of him, all the muscles stacked upon muscles he was carrying, I'd say I probably
didn't
weigh anything to him.

...at all...

This dude is
huge.

Despite his size, demeanor and permanent scowl, there was no menace coming from him, just an intense sense of curiosity, nothing that truly gave me real pause or scared the ever loving out of me and it emboldened me.

"What are you lookin' at?!" I sniped, crossing my arms over my chest.

He just stood there staring at me, studying me, like I was a freak in a sideshow, holding me up.

"Not... afraid?" His eyes roamed over me as he waited, sizing me up.

"I'm too stupid, pissed off, tired and stubborn at the moment to be afraid," I muttered, coughing into my hand to cover it up.

The blue eyed beastie chortled behind me, getting a death glare when my gaze whipped around towards his.

"Oh, shut up!" I snapped.

"Mmmm..." the big beastie with the crazy white eyes rumbled, a garbled lawn mower sound bubbling up from deep in his chest.

I frowned, disconcerted by the noise.

What was or is
that?

It's like it's vibrating his whole body, it's so loud and rumbly...

Some insane part of me, that I don't understand and probably never will, wants to reach out and touch his chest, see what it feels like, see what would happen, what he would do.

Mina! What the hell are you doing? Don't be curious about them! Get the fuck gone, woman!

"Put me down," I said quietly, staring right into the depths of his milky white, blue eyes.

He nodded and slowly let me down, surprising me as he set me gently on my feet.

"Thank you," I said clearing my throat, tugging my clothes back into place.

"I forgot my bag back in the cave...." I said sadly, looking up at him, blinking at him innocently, twisting my fingers in my hands. "Could someone go back and get it?"

Technically, I'm not lying... I totally considered the beastie's belt mine for the short time it was in my possession.

He barked something out to one of the other beasties, sending him off on the mission.

I kneeled down, acting like I was adjusting my boot, grabbing up a handful of dirt.

"I need to pee," I whined, crossing my legs, holding the fists full of dirt in my hands, acting like I'm cupping my crotch.

They all started talking, as if they had to debate this and I used it to my advantage, flinging the dirt I had in my hands at them, aiming right for their eyes.

A few of them bellowed out in pain, angry roars rending the air and I ran, taking off for the woods, too afraid to look back.

A large mitt of a hand grabbed at my jacket within moments and I screamed bloody murder, reaching back to claw at my offender, putting up as good a fight as any as I swung uselessly, completely ineffectively, while he gripped my jacket in one hand and the butt of my pants in the other, lifting me straight up.

Oh, yay, me!...
this
isn't awkward!

"Put! Me! Down!" I bellowed, surging high up into the air.

Don't look down, Mina!

Eep!

Do not look down!

I looked.

I squawked, partly in fear,
I'm not much for heights
, and partly in embarrassment,
oh, god is this humiliating
, as our audience of white fur balls watched interestedly.

He growled, a low, fierce, menacing grumble and I was hauled up against a large, heavily muscled chest, squashed into a bear sized hug.

It was the biggest bastard of the bunch who'd caught me,
surprise, surprise,
but he didn't seem upset, more like bemused as he squashed me to him.

He's bemused...

Erm...

Should I be worried?

He turned me around in his grip, turning us face to face, keeping me firmly in place with his iron like grip.

He barked something out to the other snow beasts and they all started trudging off, probably back to camp.

No!
I wanted to howl,
not back there!

"I have money!" I fairly shouted, stopping him in his tracks.

I nodded enthusiastically and he just shrugged.

He started to walk again and I stopped him, putting a staying hand on his chest.

Startled, his steps faltered and he kept glancing between me and my hand on his chest, like he was truly surprised by the action, thick furry brows crinkling in confusion.

Good, I have his undivided attention now.

"Take me home and I won't tell anyone," I stated calmly, crossing my arms over my chest as I tried to wheedle him into changing his mind about bringing me back.

He made an odd noise in the back of his throat, it sounded oddly like a purr and a chuckle mixed together.

I blinked at that, a little shocked.

It's his happy noise
, I realized, following his gaze as it stayed fixed on me.

I glanced down, right where his peepers where glued and saw my jacket was undone enough that the bit of cleavage that was up for perusal was being pushed up and together, leaving the girls out on display.

Pig!
I thought, lowering my arms.

The purring stopped and he finally unlocked his eyes from my boobies.

His eyes met mine and he grinned, his nose crinkling up, his whole face lighting up, his sharp teeth winking at me as his eyes glinted mischievously, a rumbling chuckle bubbling out of him.

Ugh!

Males!

Double 'pig'!!

Give em boobs and their happy as clams!

Morons, all of them!

I growled, irritated, yanking at the zipper on my jacket, feeling indignant.

His purr got louder.

I glared.

Needless to say, I am not amused!

"You're a pig!" I muttered, giving him the evil eye.

His smile fell, but he didn't respond.

I harrumphed at him.

His lips twitched.

"I'd make a terrible mate, you know," I admitted as his eyebrows lifted at me inquiringly.

I nodded my head solemnly and continued, "I talk too much, I'm rude, I have zero table manners... uhm...I refuse to cook, clean, sew, make babies... you name it, I won't do it! You should just send my ass back... save you all the trouble."

He snorted at me and a small smile played at his lips, his teeth peeking out a bit, the pointed tips gleaming sharp and white, but he didn't say anything, just hugged me once more, threw me over his shoulder and started walking, his men trailing behind him as I jounced and bounced along from my perch over his shoulder.

He started humming low in his throat, a strange happy noise that had me irritated at him.

This is not fun!

"No
, really! You don't understand! I'm uh... I'm lactose intolerant!
Yeah!! That's right!
Do you know what that even means?!"
I'm not, lactose intolerant that is, but he doesn't need to know that,
"I have leprosy, fleas, lice... I uh… I'm spoken for!"

The blue eyed devil sidled up behind the male carrying me and smirked, "Really, Meanie? Then what's his name?"

"George!" I blurted lying my rump off, "And it's Mina! Not Meanie, you imbecile!"

No one was the least bit interested in my babbling as I spouted off complete and utter bologna, going on and on until my voice grew hoarse. I
know
they know what I'm saying, even if only some of them can speak it.

So, mission unaccomplished and voice scratchy, for the last leg of the trip I protested my return in silence, pouting quietly, giving anyone who looked at me a blackened stare.

Chapter 6

When we made it back to the village
, the muscle bound giant let me off of his shoulder, placing a restraining hand on me, probably guessing I would have tried to take off again if he didn't keep an eye on me.

Which, of course, I would have.

Smart male.

A group of beast men came out of nowhere, women being carried much the same way I was, bundled up and over their shoulders or in their arms, the males holding them pleased with their prizes.

I gotta figure out which way they came from
, I thought, trying to take a step forward.

I was hauled back into a hairy chest and I grunted on impact as I hit a wall of serious muscle.

A hand came up and touched my hair, but I slapped it away, earning a chuckle for my efforts.

"Stop touching me," I groused.

I spotted Kirch among the group, carrying an emaciated, familiar blonde bunny with flotation devices sticking up and out, her puffy jacket not even enough to hide those puppies.

On the one hand, I wasn't particularly happy to see the little tart, but if this means Kirch has found himself a replacement... then
'hello, Candy! Come on down!'

Kirch walked up to me with Candy in his arms, standing in front of the male who's hand was still gripping my shoulder, talking to him rapidly as they began to argue about something.

I tuned them out, trying to look around Kirch.

Was it that way?

Is that the way to the portal or whatever takes me back home?

One of the other women had been wailing about wanting to go back through the ‘tunnel’ and go home, but her beast called it a ‘portal’,
from what I could tell from his stinted growling voice,
so I’m going with portal.

Candy looked around through puffy red eyes and screeched happily when she saw me.

"Oh! Oh!" she squealed in her high pitched, whiny, baby voice, "Oh, Willy!"

She jumped out of Kirch's arms and latched herself onto me, tumbling me to the snow covered ground as she hugged me enthusiastically, like a newly discovered
, long lost relative or something.

"Oh, Willy! You're here! Everyone thought you'd been eaten by bears!"

"Wha...?" I mumbled, stunned as she looked at me with large owl eyes, everyone watching the exchange between us avidly, especially Kirch and the quiet behemoth dude.

"It was all over the news! Georgie was beside himself when he thought you were dead!" she squeaked, grinning at me from ear to ear.

Oh boy...

"You're awfully happy to see me, Candy... for someone who was trying to take my place just the other day..."

"Oh, but that was
before
I thought you were dead!" she squealed too close to my ear, clutching me tighter.

I grimaced, wincing, debating on whether or not I should have her elaborate.

I don't see how me possibly being dead changes things, but okay, I'll run with it... Candy seems a few chocolates short of a box anyways, so I don't think I'm going to get anything that makes much sense out of her anyhow.

"Georgie hasn't been the same since, you know." She pursed her lips. "But now that you're back, he can go back to normal!" she crowed.

Ahhh... now I'm beginning to understand...

Pfft...

"Uh, Candy?"

"Yes, Willy," she squeake
d happily.

"Several things wrong with where I
think
you're going with this," I said slowly, making sure she absorbed everything into that squeaky, pea sized brain of hers. "George won't take up with you again, just because I'm alive. He thinks I'm going to marry him still, even though I broke it off, told him a hundred times it's over
and
had him arrested. He's not right in the head." I twirled my finger around my head near my ear. “The dude’s lost his marbles. He needs professional help, Candy. And in case you haven't noticed, we've been kidnapped by abominable snow people that want us for their mates."

She seemed to mull over what I'd said and then looked up at me again
, a confused expression on her face.

"Why would Georgie
want you,
though, when he could have
me
?" she squeaked stubbornly, lower lip jutting out in a pout.

Awww, fuck me!

Of all the...

"Is that all you heard?! Release me, you half
-wit!" I bellowed, sitting up as she followed, still suctioned to me.

I huffed indignantly and pushed her off of me, rolling over in the snow to dislodge her hands as she tried to clutch back onto my jacket.