The Bridal Swap (21 page)

“Hey, fellas.” Megan and Nicole smiled up at them, baskets held aloft. “We brought lunch.”

Josh didn’t want to stop, not even to eat, but he couldn’t be selfish. His brothers needed a break. “We’ll be right down,” he called, watching as the girls went around to the side and entered the open doorway.

The four walls provided shelter from the wind, but their breaths puffed white in the chilly air.

“What brings you two out on a day like this?” Nathan asked around a mouthful of sandwich.

Watching as Megan extracted a long envelope from her pocket, Josh stopped midchew, anticipating her words. His pulse accelerated.

“I got a letter from New York.” Her gaze speared his. “Kate sends her regards.”

Swallowing hard, he tossed the sandwich back into the basket and stalked outside. He didn’t want to talk about Kate, or even think about her. While he couldn’t prevent her from haunting his dreams, he could at least try to harness his waking thoughts.

A month had passed since she left. One long, lonely, miserable month.

He missed her so much it was a physical pain. He walked around with a hollow, aching, cavernous sensation inside that nothing could ease.

Her presence lingered everywhere he looked. The breakfast table. The apple house. His workshop.

He avoided the cabin at all costs. Sensing his turmoil, his parents hadn’t asked when he planned to move back in. Caleb hadn’t been as sensitive. His offer to take the cabin had been met with stony silence from Josh and a word of admonishment from Nathan.

“Josh, wait.” Megan came up behind him. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought you’d want to know how she’s doing.”

Unable to resist, he turned to face her. “So? How is she?”

She held out the letter. “Would you like to read it for yourself?”

He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. “No. Thanks.”

She pursed her lips. “Fine. I’ll give you the highlights. In every other sentence she asks about you. In the rest of it, she says how much she misses us. All of us.”

“Those feelings will lessen over time.”

As his would, he prayed. Living like this wore a man down. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled. Or enjoyed a good meal. Or played his fiddle. The music, the joy, was gone from his life. All because of Kate and her secrets.

“I don’t agree. It’s clear to me that she loves you, Josh, and regrets leaving. I think you should go to New York.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

She stamped her foot. “Don’t be stubborn! It’s plain for all to see you’re a mess without her.” The wind whipped her hair around her face, and she shoved it aside. “What will it hurt to go and see her again?”

“Listen, I know your intentions are good, but there are some issues here you aren’t aware of. Issues that can’t be overcome.”

“Tell me. Maybe I can help.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. His affection for his cousin was the only reason he was standing here discussing what was a private matter. “In the books you love so much, what happens when someone turns out to be vastly different than you thought she was?”

A line formed between her brows. “How is Kate different than what we thought? Isn’t she an heiress?” She clapped a hand over her open mouth. “Is she not Francesca’s sister? You said they looked nothing alike.”

“Of course she’s an heiress and, yes, she’s Francesca’s sister. You didn’t answer my question.”

“All right, all right. If a person keeps important information hidden, it’s usually for a good reason—at least in her mind.”

What was Kate’s reason?

Megan studied him. “Are you going to forgive her for whatever it is she lied about?”

“She didn’t outright lie, exactly.”
What did you expect her to do? Introduce herself and then blurt out her indiscretion?

“The particulars are none of my business, but I want to remind you that everyone makes mistakes. Kate has a good heart. She wouldn’t deliberately hurt you, not if she could help it. I know that as sure as I know my own name.”

Beneath the disappointment, his heart recognized her words as the truth.

If he stepped back from his own hurt long enough to study the situation, he could see how she’d be terrified to tell him.
She didn’t have to. She could’ve kept her secret to herself and married you anyway
.

“Put yourself in her shoes,” Megan suggested, “and try to figure out the reasons driving her actions.”

Kate had lived a privileged yet lonely life. Her family had made her feel as if she were less than she was, had made it clear she didn’t measure up to their standards. He could only imagine how hungry she’d been for love, for acceptance. For a man without morals, Kate would’ve been an easy mark.

His heart spasmed painfully in his chest.
Oh, God, she chose the honorable path by telling me about her mistake. She laid bare her heart, made herself vulnerable and I turned my back on her. Another rejection in a lifetime of rejections.

He bowed his head. “What have I done?” he groaned.

He felt Megan’s hand on his arm. “It’s not too late to repair things.”

He had to go to her! To beg her forgiveness.

Movement registered on his left. “O’Malley?”

He’d know that voice anywhere.
Matthews.
The sound ignited a flame of fury in Josh’s gut. The knowledge of all he’d done to torment Kate, the image of him dragging her unconscious from a fire his actions had started, combined to drive rational thought from his mind.

He didn’t question why Matthews had approached him. He didn’t care. All he could think about was Kate.

In the blink of an eye, he had the villain in a crushing throat hold and had slammed him back against the wall. Megan gasped.

Struggling for air, his eyes bulged and he clawed at Josh’s fingers.

“How dare you show your face around here?” Josh growled through clenched teeth, barely registering Megan yelling for his brothers. He wanted answers.

“Hey!” Nathan seized his shoulder. “What are you lookin’ to do? Kill him?”

Caleb appeared on his other side, but he didn’t try to restrain him. He glared at Matthews. “He’s not worth it, Josh.”

Matthews glanced wildly between the three men, obviously terrified, chest heaving. Josh only tightened his grip. This sorry excuse of a man deserved to pay for hurting the woman he loved more than life itself.

“Josh, don’t!” Megan cried.

Let him go,
an inner voice urged.
Vengeance is Mine, says the Lord. Let Me handle him.

Matthews’s face had a chalky hue. His hands were growing limp.

With a disgusted noise, Josh released him. Blood roared in his ears. What had he almost done?

Matthews staggered a couple of steps in the opposite direction, eager to put distance between himself and the others.

“Why did you come here?” Nathan prodded.

When Josh finally looked at his enemy, he noticed the sorry condition he was in. He looked visibly weak, his eyes sunken and his skin pasty. He’d lost weight, too. But he appeared to be sober.

“I—” His dark, pained eyes settled on Josh. “I came to ask your forgiveness for what I did to your friend. Kate, I think her name is. I never meant to hurt her—”

“You expect us to believe you?” Josh couldn’t stand to hear her name on his lips.

Nathan put a restraining hand on his chest, just in case Josh decided to have another go at Tyler.

Matthews hung his head. “It’s true. I— My mind was so mixed up. The alcohol. The elixirs. After the fire, I threw it all out. I, ah, have been pretty sick.”

Josh could see that. Still, it didn’t excuse his behavior. But at least he’d come to his senses, was no longer in the clutches of whatever substances had been fueling his fantasy that Kate was his dead wife.

“I’ll be moving on.” He lifted his head again and looked at Josh, misery and regret in the harsh lines of his face. “Too many memories here. I can’t—” He broke off, covering his eyes with one hand and rubbing his temples as if his head pounded.

Against his will, Josh experienced a shred of compassion for the man. He’d lost the light of his life, his beloved wife. How would Josh react in the same situation? How would he survive if anything ever happened to Kate? His stomach lurched.

He surprised them all by blurting out, “I gotta go.”

Nathan’s brows slammed together. “Go? Go where?”

“I think I know.” Megan’s eyes lit up with hope.

He addressed Matthews. “I accept your apology. Take my advice—stay off the booze. And I’m warning you now—stay away from my family.”

Caleb piped up. “Kate isn’t—”

“Not yet.” Josh clapped his brother on the shoulder. “But I hope she will be. Soon.”

Twenty-four hours later, he was on a train bound for New York. It couldn’t go fast enough, in his mind. He’d let her leave believing he no longer cared for her, that he condemned her for her past actions. When he thought about the misery she must’ve endured these past weeks, his eyes grew suspiciously wet and he ducked his head so his hat’s brim shielded his face.

Forgive me, Lord, for being a stubborn fool.
He only hoped Kate would give him a second chance.

Chapter Twenty

“M
iss Katerina, you’ve been summoned to the lower-level drawing room.”

Standing at the library window, she tore her gaze from the barren gardens below to answer the footman. “Thank you, Mr. Crandall.”

With an abbreviated bow, he slipped from the room.

Her deep sigh fogged the polished glass and with a shiver, she turned and started for the door.
What now?
she wondered. Was she to be taken to task yet again for her unapproved sojourn to the wilds of Tennessee?

Her parents had arrived home a week earlier, and her mother had yet to stop berating her for her foolishness. Kate had listened without emotion. It was as if she’d cried out all the tears she possessed and was capable of no more. Now all she felt was numb.

As she swept through the wide corridors, Kate’s green satin skirts rustled and the heels of her shoes tapped against the marble floor. On this gray, overcast day, weak light filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows, barely chasing away the gloom.

The weather suited her mood.

Life without Josh was like a day without sunshine. Without joy or laughter.

Not for the first time, she wondered how he was doing. Did he miss her at all? Did he think of her? The look in his eyes in the moments before she left was burned into her consciousness.

As she descended the grand staircase and neared the drawing room, voices filtered into the hallway.

Francesca and Percy.

Her mood sank even lower. Her sister would no doubt have plenty to say about her decision to stay with the O’Malleys.

Squaring her shoulders, she held her head high as she made her entrance. There would be no avoiding this meeting. Better to get it over with so she could return to her self-imposed solitary confinement.

“Ah, here is your sister at last.” Georgia’s face radiated disapproval. “Katerina, come here. Francesca and Percy have arrived home from Italy.”

Kate noted that Fran looked refreshed after her extended honeymoon, her golden hair and skin kissed by the sun. On the other hand, Percy appeared unchanged, his dour expression much the same as ever.

Rounding on her, Fran’s blue eyes sparked fire. “Mother tells me you stayed in Gatlinburg for over a month. What, pray tell, did you find to occupy your time?”

“Good morning, Fran,” she responded drily. “Nice to see you, as well. How was your honeymoon?”

“It was fine,” she snapped. “I would much rather hear about your trip.”

“Just fine?” Percy’s face darkened.

“You know what I meant, darling.” She shrugged off his protest. “I’m trying to find out what my dear little sister has been up to.” Folding her arms, she swung her gaze back to Kate. “Well?”

“It was a wonderful trip. I made many friends while I was there.”

Moving past the grouping of sofas and wingback chairs, she made her way to the French doors to stare out at the gardens, wishing it was instead the lush Tennessee forests and valleys she’d come to love.

From her place on the sofa, Georgia lamented, “What I can’t understand is what possessed you to undertake a trip of that magnitude without our approval. And without a chaperone! Honestly, Katerina, where is your sense of decorum?”

“Personally I think she was adopted!” Fran exclaimed.

Ignoring the comment, Georgia demanded, “Answer me, young lady!”

Kate faced her mother. “I don’t have an answer for you, Mother. I’ve apologized more times than I count. I do not know what else I can do or say to please you.”

At that moment, Kate realized she was finished apologizing for the woman she’d become. She would never fit into this family or their high-class world.

“I will not tolerate such insolence from you, daughter—”

“I think I’ve heard about enough.”

Kate gasped at the sound of the familiar voice. It couldn’t be! Yet there he stood in the doorway, black hat in hand, heartbreakingly handsome in the same gray pin-striped suit he’d worn to greet her that first day.

“Josh!” Her palm covering her galloping heart, she gaped at him. “What are you doing here?”

He stepped inside the room, his gaze hungrily roaming her features. “I had to see you again. Kate, we need to talk.”

Georgia rose to her feet. “Who are you? How did you get in here?”

“Joshua,” Fran said breathlessly, “it’s wonderful to see you again.”

Percy shot to his feet, his face a thundercloud. “Is this the backwoods hick you were engaged to?”

He ignored them all, his attention on Kate alone. An odd mix of contrition and impatience marked his features. “Is there somewhere we can talk privately?”

“Why are you looking at my sister like that?” Fran demanded suddenly, her gaze volleying back and forth between the two.

“If you must know, I’m in love with her. I’ve come to ask her to marry me. Again.”

Wary, Josh watched Kate’s expression closely. Her green eyes widened, glistening in the soft glow emitted by the ornate wall sconces. The longing he glimpsed on her face fanned the flames of hope within his chest. Would she find it in her heart to forgive him?

“Again? What—” his former fiancée sputtered. “You must be joking!”

Francesca stalked over to stand halfway between him and Kate. Hands fisted on her hips, Francesca looked about ready to explode, her beauty marred by jealousy and plain mean-spiritedness. She’d hidden it well those short weeks they’d spent together. Looking back, there’d been hints of her true personality, but he’d been too besotted to spot them.

He could’ve been shackled to this woman for life.
Thank you, God, for sparing me.

“This isn’t a joke.” He frowned at her.

She rounded on Kate. “You planned this all along, didn’t you? Don’t think I didn’t notice you mooning over his picture! How could you do this to me?”

Kate lifted her chin. “You’re forgetting that you’re a married woman, Fran. You chose Percy over Josh. I didn’t
do
anything to you.”

“Joshua,” Fran began, sounding like the cat who caught the mouse, “did Katerina ever mention a man by the name of Wesley Farrington?”

“Fran, no!” The color drained from her face.

“I know everything.” He injected frost into his voice. “And it doesn’t change the way I feel about your sister.”

Francesca’s husband wore a smirk. “It doesn’t bother you that she’s damaged goods?”

Josh took a menacing step forward, keeping a tight rein on his emotions. “I won’t allow you or anyone else to say such things about Kate.”

“Josh, please. You don’t have to do this.”

Crossing the room to stand before her, he drank in her appearance. After the misery of living without her all these weeks, the sight of her was a gift in and of itself. “Yes, I do. There are things I left unsaid back in Gatlinburg. Things I hope will change your mind.”

“Mother,” Francesca wailed, “aren’t you going to call the footmen to remove him? This is outrageous!”

Kate motioned behind her. “Come with me.”

With graceful movements, head held high like a queen, she led him through the French doors onto a maze of brick pathways, sculpted bushes standing like sentinels on either side. They walked past manicured lawns, empty fountains, and fallow flowerbeds to another wing of the mansion. The Morgans’ wealth hadn’t been exaggerated.

She paused outside a door to tell him shyly, “This is my studio. We’ll have privacy in here.”

Once inside, his boots sank into the plush Oriental rug. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim light, but once they did, his gaze was drawn to the wallpapered walls where photograph after photograph of the mountains, the town of Gatlinburg and his family were displayed.

What struck him most were the number of pictures of just him. The one of him fishing the day she’d fallen in the water. Lounging next to a picnic basket. Dressed in his suit before church services.

She avoided his questioning gaze, but the pink staining her cheeks was a telltale sign of her embarrassment.

“You have talent,” he said, bypassing the photos of himself to study the ones of the town. “These are amazing. They shouldn’t be locked away in here. People should see them.”

“You’re too kind.”

“No.” He turned back. “No, I’m not. I was wrong to let you go the way I did. I acted like a fool. Can you forgive me?”

“I don’t blame you. After what I did—” She broke off with a helpless gesture.

“Can you tell me about it?”

“I was a foolish young girl.” Her eyes darkened with shame.

Going to stand before her, he gently took her hands in his.

“There’s more to the story than that,” he prompted quietly, dreading her words yet needing to hear them.

“Wesley was the first boy to notice me. I was lonely. When he began to pay attention to me, I was flattered. Here was someone my parents approved of, a promising young man from an upstanding family, and he was interested in
me
.

“During one of our parties, he asked to see my father’s wine collection. I didn’t see any harm in it.” She shrugged. “But then the candle was somehow extinguished and the room was plunged into darkness. I panicked…” Her voice trailed off.

“Let me guess,” Josh inserted, “instead of leading you out of there, your young man took full advantage of the situation.”

“I allowed it to happen.”

“My darling.” He reached out and gently lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. Her eyes were large in her pale face. “He lured you down there for a reason. You were young and vulnerable. A prime target for a lustful young man without morals or any sense of decency.”

He couldn’t fathom how anyone could be so callous as to abuse her trust in such a way and then abandon her. A fierce protectiveness rose in his chest.

“We’ve all made mistakes we wish we could take back. All we can do is ask for forgiveness and move on. What happened in the past doesn’t define who you are today. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that. I’ve been miserable without you.”

“What are you saying?” she breathed.

“You know what I admire about you?” He trailed a knuckle down her silken cheek.

Capturing her bottom lip with her teeth, she shook her head.

“After the disappointments and trials you’ve endured, you could’ve easily become bitter. Hardened your heart. Refused to trust or love others. But you didn’t do any of those things. You, Kate Morgan, are a woman of integrity. A woman whose capacity to love humbles me.” He slipped his hand beneath her hair to cup her neck. With his thumb, he made lazy circles on the soft skin. “I love you.”

Kate let the precious words sink in. Her past hadn’t destroyed his love for her.

Cradling her face with his hands, he stared deep into her eyes. “I want you for my wife. I want us to start a family of our own. We can make new memories, joyful ones to replace all that’s happened in the past. We can start new traditions that we’ll teach to our children and grandchildren. What do you say?”

Since childhood, she’d yearned for love and acceptance, a family who genuinely cared for one another. And here was the man she loved and admired offering her that very thing. Josh was offering himself to her. As his wife, she’d have a kind, thoughtful husband to love and share life with. To start a family with.

“Are you certain that’s what you want?”

Leaning in, he brushed his lips across hers in silent declaration. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

Her fears laid to rest, she basked in the unconditional love shining in his eyes.

“I love you, Josh,” she uttered softly, a blush stealing into her cheeks. “I would be honored to become your wife.”

With a whoop that startled her, he encircled her waist and whirled her about, his husky laugh delighting her. Balancing herself with her hands on his shoulders, she couldn’t help laughing right along with him. Then he lowered her feet to the floor and kissed her soundly.

“You’ve made me the happiest of men.”

Caressing his cheek with her palm, she smiled at him. “And you, my love, have made all my dreams come true.”