The Bridge of Peace (36 page)

Waiting on Emily and Allen to get the children upstairs, Grey studied Lennie. She folded her arms, looking resigned to the discomfort he was causing.

The Amish traditions of courting or dating made it easy for young people to keep who they were seeing a complete secret. Grey had always assumed Lennie handled her private life discreetly. And maybe she did. Maybe Allen just didn’t know.

As voices faded, she took a seat at the head of the table. “Look, Grey, I know you’re sorry for what happened and that you feel bad about it. I appreciate your kindness, but I really don’t need you coming here to explain it all more carefully.”

Hoping the right words came to him, he placed his hat on the table in front of him and sat near her. “Lennie … I didn’t come here for that reason.”

The muffled sounds of water running in a tub and children prattling filled the room. He couldn’t manage to say anything more.

She gathered some of the papers. “What then?”

“I … I …” He fidgeted with the rim of his hat. “I think I need a minute inside that circle of peace.”

She laid the papers down and really looked at him for the first time. “You … have someone.”

“No. What would make you say that?”

“If you’re asking for pardon while you tell me a difficult truth, I just assumed …”

He put his hands over hers. “Lennie, could you stop jumping to the wrong conclusion for just a minute? See … I …” He shook his head. “Sorry. I’m really not very good at this.”

“I can see that.” She slid her hands free of his. “They’re words, Grey. You choose them in your mind, and then you share them.”

Her straightforwardness made him smile. “You were so open about how you feel toward me and what you were thinking. I wasn’t ready to admit how I felt. You … you didn’t read me wrong.”

Disappointment reflected in her eyes. “Sorry, Grey, but I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that because you’re a really nice guy.”

“I know how I feel … how I felt before you came to me in the greenhouse.”

Her eyes grew large, but it wasn’t with excitement. It was wariness.

“You’re not going to believe me?”

“I … I want to … of course.”

“Good. Then it’s settled.” He angled his head, studying her. “Or is it?”

A slow, beautiful smile radiated from her. “I suppose it is, but it’ll take months before it sinks in.”

“Time we have. Actually we’ve got a lot of it ahead of us, and I know you said you’d wait, but maybe you should consider seeing other men—just to be sure your feelings … you know … aren’t out of pity.”

“You think
I
feel sorry for
you
?” She laughed. “Surely you can’t believe that at twenty-four years old I don’t know the difference between love and sympathy. I’ve waited a lifetime. And you should trust that I know what I want.”

His eyes moved over every inch of her face. “I like the way you argue.” He squeezed her hand.

“Are you sure you’re sure?”

“You were better at accepting that I didn’t care than you are at believing that I do.”

Her hand eased to her birthmark, an unconscious move he’d bet. “I … I suppose I am.”

He eased her hand away and caressed the mark. He ran his fingers down her neck, following the birthmark. When her eyes met his, he steadied his breathing. Gently guiding her closer, he breathed in the scent of lavender and roses. He kissed her cheek and brushed his lips across her skin until he reached her lips. Everything about her tender movements, including caressing his beard, spoke of being at ease with him. After receiving a kiss he’d never forget, he put some space between them.

Her eyes were closed. “
Duh net schtobbe
.”

As she whispered
do not stop
, he wished the journey ahead of them wasn’t such a long one. He had to be much more careful than they were being right now. Her reputation could easily be ruined if they didn’t walk pure for at least another year. He placed his fingers under her chin, willing her to look at him.

“Lennie, we can’t be careless. It doesn’t matter how we feel. I’m still required to continue my period of mourning before I can court you or before anyone can know about us.”

She shifted, sitting up straighter. “Ya. You’re right.” She ran her fingers over her lips. “That was amazing.”

She was absolutely right about that. “We won’t be able to see each other much. I can’t come to your place just to visit you, and we can’t go anywhere together. We can meet here some, but even that will have to slow down, or after our relationship is public, we’ll be accused of using Allen’s place in an inappropriate way.”

“Your kiss was better than perfect. Did … I do it right?”

She had a way about her that fit him so perfectly. How had he never known that? “Was that your first kiss?”

She nodded. “And well, well worth waiting for.”

A bump near the top of the stairs startled both of them. Moving his chair slightly, he straightened and put more distance between them.

She reached under the table and held his hand. “I know the period of mourning and propriety puts restraints on you. I don’t mind … too much.”

“It’ll take being very careful and all of that time to win Allen’s approval.”

She frowned at him. “Why would he not approve?”

“Lennie?” The thumping sound of Allen coming down the stairs made Lennie jolt.

“Build us a bridge between your place and Allen’s. Then you can walk over for a few minutes here and there, or come over while we’re outside in the spring. Emily and I could bring over a dish of food. That way your visits don’t have to be so formal or visible for others in the community to even notice.”

Grey held on to her fingers for a moment longer. “I’ll build us a bridge … in every way possible.”

She grabbed her notebook and pencil. “What does
every way possible
mean?”

Allen walked into the kitchen and motioned Grey toward the sofa. “She’s got work to do, and the living room is much more comfortable.”

Grey rose, wishing they had time to really talk but at peace with the commitment between them. How had love for Lennie grown such deep roots in such a short time?

Thirty-One

Deborah stopped the carriage in front of Jonathan’s home. She, Ada, and Cara had been at the school helping Lena set up for today, but as the morning wore on, she grew concerned that Jonathan might not come to the auction. Armed with Ada’s sage advice, Deborah walked across the gravel drive and into his shop.

Jonathan glanced up, and a soft, hesitant smile drew her before he turned away, concealing his heart from hers. He continued working as if she weren’t there. She’d not seen him in his leather apron and rawhide gloves in a long time. The apron was marred and stained, and his face had smudges of black, but those things only added to his rugged, handsome appearance. With a sturdy pair of tongs, he moved the horseshoe from the forge to the anvil. Still clutching the tongs with one hand, he began hammering, molding the metal to his will.

“Jon?”

He studied her for a moment before returning his focus to pounding the metal.

His Daed stepped out from a stall. “Well, hello, Deborah. We don’t see you in these parts much anymore. You here for the auction?”

“Ya. I came to see Jonathan for a minute first.” She waited, but Jonathan didn’t stop pounding on the horseshoe. “I need to say a few things, and I think it’s reasonable to ask you to hear me.” She spoke above the noise.

He finally nodded. His Daed walked over to him and took the tongs and hammer. Jonathan removed his apron and walked outside with Deborah. She’d hoped they would go for a real walk, but he escorted her to the carriage and opened the door.

Although tempted to tell him he was being ridiculous and stubborn, she held on to Ada’s advice. “From your perspective, you have every right to end our relationship. And I was wrong but not as wrong as you think.”

“Wrong enough.”

“I wanted time to think for myself. I did a selfish thing. I know that. I wanted to form my own opinion. Even more than that, I needed time to try to convince him to treat Ada right whether he returns to our faith or not. I didn’t succeed, but I know I tried my best. And now we both know that I wouldn’t have Mahlon back under any circumstances.”

“So he did return to win you again.”

Deborah climbed into the buggy. “He did. He said all the sweet, flowery things he’s so capable of saying, including how he would rejoin the faith and how he wanted my help in giving grandchildren to Ada.”

“That’s some heavy temptation he tossed your way.”

“No. It carried no temptation, although I expected it to.” She drew a breath. “I would greatly appreciate your keeping what I’ve told you just between us. If he does decide to return and rejoin the faith, I don’t want anyone else knowing what I just shared.”

“Then you’re still protecting him.”

“I’m protecting us from being gossips and displeasing God. No part of me answers to Mahlon, but I do pray he finds his way. Hear me on this, Jon—I whisper thanks to God, even in my sleep, that I’m free of my promise to marry him.”

He remained unmoving until a slow, easy smile radiated from him.

She took the reins in hand. “I have a picnic basket chock-full of your favorite foods. It’d be a shame if my Daed were the one to win the bid. It starts in twenty minutes. For years you’ve bought Lena’s basket because she’s your friend. If you refuse to forgive me as your girlfriend, I hope you will at least remain my friend.”

He looked down at his clothing. “Twenty minutes?”

“Wear what you have on. I’m only picky about what’s inside a man’s heart. Nothing else matters.” She studied the strength in his shoulders and arms and smiled. “Well, nothing else matters more than that.” She slapped the reins against the horse’s back, hoping that she’d begun regaining his respect and that he’d at least be her friend again.

Grey stood in the back of the schoolroom, watching as Lennie spiced up the bidding with quips and humor and handed baskets to the auctioneer. There were times when she snatched the gavel and the battery-powered microphone from the auctioneer and managed to get twice the bid. Ivan sat next to Allen’s oldest son. People came in and out freely, buying homemade lemonade and slices of cake from tables set up outside. All of today’s proceeds would go into the teacher’s fund.

As he watched Lennie, he could feel her lips against his. Since it’d been a first for her, he would have expected her to be self-conscious and unsure. She had no shyness. He liked that. But she did have insecurity about her looks. If he had the power to do it, he intended to scrub that lie out of her life even if it took years. He wished he were free to court her, free to treat her as she deserved. They’d already ventured past correctness for him as a widower. The only thing they hadn’t done was make a public admission of it.

He couldn’t cross that line. Lennie’s reputation would be stained for a long, long time, because becoming involved with someone during their period of mourning was equal to adultery in the sight of many.

Grey jolted when Michael spoke to him. “I didn’t expect to see you here today.”

Too distracted to have a response, Grey simply shook his father-in-law’s hand.

Michael blinked, as if keeping tears away. “I wouldn’t have asked it of you, but it’s right for all the members of the school board to be here. As chairman of it, I knew Dora and I needed to be here. Although Lena’s …” Michael’s voice softened as he said Lena’s name, and Grey recognized the serious tone.

“She’s what?”

Michael shook his head. “You haven’t been coming to the meetings. When you’re ready, we need to discuss what’s going on.”

“Michael Blank,” Lennie called, “are you paying attention to the teacher?”

The room tittered with laughter.

Michael turned. “Ya, Teacher Lena, I heard every word you said.” Michael winked at Grey.

“Well, now that’s good. Did you wish to make the next bid on your wife’s basket?”

Michael rubbed the back of his neck, clearly comfortable going along with Lennie’s harassment. “Uh, the last bid was …”

“Fifty dollars,” Lennie assured him.

“Fifty.” His eyes grew large. “I bid sixty.”