The Bridge to a Better Life (6 page)

Andy sat in an adjoining chair and pushed another toward his brother. “Come on, Matty Ice. Take a load off.”

When Matt dropped down into the chair, Blake settled the bottle on his knee and looked from one of the Hale brothers to the other, staring each of them straight in the eye like he’d do with his teammates in the middle of a losing game.

“Two months ago at the Denver Raiders’ annual spring dinner, your sister kissed me. Even more telling, she actually cried. I
know
she still loves me, and God knows I love her. I left football to show her she’s everything to me in the hopes she would finally let me back into her life. After Kim died, she totally shut down.”

Andy flinched, and though he hated to bring up memories that were painful for all of them, Blake pressed on.

“She wouldn’t talk about it. She wouldn’t grieve. And then a few days after the funeral, she picked a fight with me about having a baby and left. I tried to…dammit…reach out to her, but she wouldn’t even talk to me, let alone agree to marriage counseling. She sure as hell wouldn’t go to the therapist I recommended so she could talk about Kim.”

This time Matt looked away, his jaw locked. Blake took a sip of his beer to wet his dry throat.

“You both know her. She hasn’t been herself. I’m not saying I expected her to do jumping jacks after Kim died. But Natalie shut out the world around her. I know what it’s like to grieve for a brother, and your sister hasn’t let herself mourn Kim.”

“How do you know she hasn’t worked through her emotions since she left you?” Matt asked.

“She was living in a crappy place in Denver. You both know it. She didn’t paint any walls or put up any pictures. She refused to take the majority of her stuff from our house. That’s not Natalie.”

“How do you know that?” Matt asked, leaning forward in his chair. “Were you spying on my sister?”

“No! I would never do that. A couple times in the beginning, I dropped by with Touchdown. She closed out that poor little guy too, and you know how much she loves him.”

“Maybe she was just ready to be done with you,” Matt said, rising from his chair. “Maybe there was other stuff going on between you two.”

Anger spurted hot and fierce through him. “What are you talking about? Do you think I messed around with other women while we were married?” He rose and got in Matt’s face. “You damn well know I love your sister. I would
never
have cheated on her.”

“Enough!” Andy shouted, yanking on his brother’s shirt. “Sit down. Both of you.”

Blake sat down and took some deep breaths to regain control of himself. Spouting off at Matty Ice wasn’t going to help anything. Matt resumed his seat.

“Matt, I agree with Blake here.”

“Grief takes time—”

“No one knows that better than I do,” Andy said. “But Natalie changed after Kim was diagnosed, and she hasn’t come back.”

“Neither have you,” Matt said in a hoarse voice.

Blake’s throat thickened, hearing that. Andy ran his hand through his hair and took a drink of his beer.

“Yeah, not the whole way, but I’m making progress. Shit, God knows I’ve cried, and I don’t say that to sound like a baby, but I’m a doctor. Crying is the body’s way of coping with grief, and if grief isn’t processed, disease, depression, and a whole list of other stuff can lie in wait for a person.”

“Natalie never cries,” Matt said. “Some people—”

“Then it’s all the more significant Natalie cried in front of Blake at the dinner,” Andy interrupted. “I’m not saying I’m pushing for them to get back together. It’s her choice. But I think we need to be honest about how she’s doing and help her.”

“I’m here because I want to help her too,” Blake interjected. “Look, I want her back. I won’t lie. But if she really doesn’t love me, doesn’t want to be with me, then I’ll let her go. But we both need closure. I…”

He broke off, feeling the rawness of the emotion, the pressure of the odds against him.

“I want her to be happy again, and if I can help with that…well, then leaving football was worth it. If we can’t be together, then at least we can help each other heal. She can move on, and so can I. But after that kiss and her reaction to it…well, I know in my gut she still loves me. Just like I knew we could run a quarterback draw in the Super Bowl and score.”

Matt and Andy were big enough Raiders fans to understand what he was saying. That play was considered one of the all-time greatest, and he’d called it on a hunch. All of them went quiet, and for a long moment, the only sound was a woodpecker doing damage to the mighty oak thirty yards off. Blake fell deeper into that place inside himself where everything was calm, the one he’d learned to seek out at life’s toughest moments. It took a while, but he got there.

“So, how’s Danny?” he asked, wanting to steer the conversation to happier trails.

A smile softened the tense line of Andy’s mouth. “Growing up fast. He loves living in Dare Valley. He’ll be happy to see you…when and if the time comes.”

That was fair. No need to confuse him. “I’ve missed that kid.” God, he was getting choked up here. “Losing Natalie was hard enough, but…I’ve missed the rest of you too, dammit.”

“Ditto, man,” Andy said and took a swig of his beer. “What are your plans beyond winning my sister back?”

He told them. It would be public knowledge today, anyway.

“That’s great, Blake,” Andy said. “Adam would be really happy about your camp. It’s a wonderful tribute. He always loved to throw the ball around.”

So many memories flashed through his mind that he had to clear his throat. “Yeah, he did.”

“Anything you need on that score,” Matt finally said, “you let me know. It looks like I’ll be mayor come November since no one’s stepped forward to challenge me after the primary.”

His offer indicated he was softening. “Thanks. Congrats, by the way, on your engagement and your foray into politics.” Matt had always been a natural leader, so it hadn’t surprised Blake to learn he was about to become Dare Valley’s new mayor. “I always said you would have made a great quarterback if you could throw a decent spiral.”

“Suck it, Cunningham,” he shot back, a phrase they’d bandied about years ago.

His chest lightened. “Now that I’m retired, I’ll have more time to teach you how the big boys do it.”

Matt snorted. “You’re delusional.”

He laughed, and the sound was rich and deep enough to scare off three squirrels that had been lurking on the deck.

“I’ll talk to Natalie,” Andy said casually, and Blake’s heart rate spiked.

“Thank you.”

“It’s still up to her,” Andy added, finishing off his beer and setting it down on the ground.

“Like she’d ever make a decision based on someone else’s opinion,” Blake said dryly. He ran a hand through his hair. “You need to know, I don’t want to hurt her, but this thing between us…and Kim…it’s going to hurt. It’ll be like putting a shoulder back in the socket.” Having dislocated his shoulder before, he knew just how acute that pain could be.

“I know it,” Andy said. “Good thing you have people around who know how to bandage things up.”

“Just don’t be too hard on her,” Matt added with a small smile. “She needs to know she’s tough. It’s who she is.”

Her attachment to that identity—her belief that being tough meant standing firm against normal human emotions—was what was hurting her, but then he couldn’t say too much to her brother about that. In many ways, Matty Ice and Natalie were cut from the same cloth.

“I’ll be as gentle as I can be,” he promised.

“Good. Now, why don’t you grab me a beer? Seems I’m behind you guys.”

He rose with a smile on his face. “Have it in a jiffy.”

As soon as he was in the house and out of their sight, he did a victory dance. He felt like a champion right now.

After all, every football player knew a Super Bowl was won one victory at a time.

Natalie decided the kitchen sink needed a good scrubbing, hoping it would keep her cold hands occupied and keep her mind from betraying her with thoughts of Blake. Touchdown sat on the floor, grinning at her like a goofus, and darn it all if she didn’t find herself smiling too—when she wasn’t frowning, of course.

She hadn’t heard from her mother yet, but she’d heard from the rest of her Hale lunch crew, who had offered their support. Moira and Caroline had spilled the beans. Not that Blake’s presence in town would stay secret for long anyway. Once Mr. Football Fancy Pants strutted his fine butt down Dare Valley’s Main Street, everyone in town would know he was here…heck, everyone in the country.

The very thought of the press descending on the small town and bothering her again gave her a headache. After Blake went “missing,” various reporters had contacted her, hoping for the story behind the story. She’d taken the Fifth. The calls had stopped after the news about Adam’s passing was published. But now everyone would suspect that Blake hadn’t left football only because of Adam. He’d left it because of
her.
Why the heck else would he be living next door?

The town gossip was going to drive her crazy. It was one part of small town life she hadn’t missed. She’d have to shut it down as soon as possible.

Someone rapped on her back door, and she let out a loud grumble. Only Blake would use that door. Touchdown was already letting loose a volley of happy barks by the time she opened it. Blake’s hands were full of Touchdown’s stuff. He stepped inside so quickly she had to take a step back. After setting Touchdown’s things down on the nearby kitchen table, he reached a hand out to her face.

“You have hair in your eyes.”

Her belly quivered with lust as his fingers caressed her cheek, pushing the lock behind her ear. In that one simple touch, she could feel all the pent-up longing inside him.

His brown eyes held steady on her face. “I know what you’re thinking. I’m thinking the same thing.” Then his nose scrunched up like he’d detected an unpleasant smell, and he flinched. “Were you cleaning?” he asked, his eyes darting around the kitchen.

It was impossible to mistake the fear lacing his voice. She flashed to the time she’d cleaned the shower after Kim’s funeral. Something popped inside her heart, and
oh,
how it hurt.

“You only clean when you’re upset, babe. I’m sorry for that.”

How could she hope to fight with someone who knew her so well? After being married for three years, he knew every intimate detail about her.

“Do you have any idea how complicated you’re going to make my life once the press hears you’ve moved in next door? Blake, I just moved back to my hometown and started a respectable job. I don’t need or want that kind of attention.”

“Your new boss doesn’t give a flying F what anyone thinks or says.”

“Still jealous of Terrance?” she quipped. Blake and her celebrity chef boss had sized each other up like mad dogs at the Raiders’ dinner. Even though Terrance was over the moon about someone else, he’d helped out Natalie by intimating he was her new love interest.

“No, but I was sure as hell jealous at the Raiders’ dinner. It would have been nice if you’d told me he was interviewing you.”

She crossed her arms. “I wasn’t feeling particularly nice that day.” And she now felt more guilt than she could run up a flag pole. At the time, she’d had no idea about Adam’s declining health.

“You made that clear,” he said, scooping Touchdown up. “Hey, boy. How’s Mommy treating you so far? Did you get paw prints on the kitchen floor?”

Her insides pinged when she heard him call her “Mommy.” Hadn’t she just been thinking about that? “We have to call each other by our real names now, Blake. You’re not his daddy, and I’m not his mommy.”

“Come on, Nat,” Blake said, nudging her playfully in the ribs. “It will only confuse him. Plus, you
are
his mommy. He was barely a week old when you met him, and he can’t get to sleep without your yellow shirt. Doesn’t that prove something?”

He gestured to Touchdown’s gear, and sure enough, there was her old shirt—the one Blake had admitted to taking on the road with him so he could always have her smell nearby. Gestures like that had always turned her to mush. Her knees quivered. All her emotions were rising to the surface again, and she wasn’t sure she had the power to hold them back anymore.

“They’re only names, Blake. Please do this
one
thing for me since I know you won’t take the bridge down.”

He lifted his left shoulder in a slight shrug. “I can’t take the bridge down. It’s my road back to you.”

“Blake!”

“Okay! I’ll stop. I’ve pressed you enough for one day.” He glanced around the room. “You haven’t hung anything on the walls yet.”

The knowing look in his eyes had her fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “No.”

All the art they’d chosen on fun shopping outings had remained on the walls of their Denver home. Correction,
his
home.

“If you want some of the paintings from the house, let me know.”

He’d made that offer—and so many more—after she left him.