The Broken Road (The Broken Series) (23 page)

And,
suddenly, I
wanted
that kiss. My eyelids grew heavy as my body leaned
toward his.

He
pushed away from the door with a satisfied smile. “Good night, Kri. I had a
wonderful night.”

I
opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

Kadyn
turned and strode away. He didn’t look back, not even once.

I
groaned quietly to myself as I reflected on my rather impressive ability to
screw things up. I hadn’t even thanked the guy for what had quite possibly been
the best night of my life.

*
* * * * *

I
didn’t hear from Kadyn on Sunday, although I did text him to thank him for
taking me to the concert. Cenia called to firm up plans for the football game
in Annapolis. I was hoping things would be less awkward between Kadyn and me by
then.

I
received a text from Kadyn first thing Monday morning.
Have a good day at
work. I’ll be thinking of you… and the kiss that should have been.

I
was relieved I wasn’t the only one who was missing that kiss.
Note to self:
next time you want someone to kiss you, keep your mouth shut
.

I
buried myself in work. Congress passed a continuing resolution on Tuesday, so
policy negotiations and legislation suddenly began moving again. My brain was
on overdrive with the sudden flurry of activity, so I didn’t think twice about
opening a work e-mail without a subject heading. I stilled as my eyes skimmed
the unsigned message.
Il ne pourrait
jamais
t'aimer
comme je le fais
.
Bientôt
,
tu seras de retour
dans mes bras
.
Bientôt
,
rien ne pourra nous
séparer.

I
pulled up Google Translate and quickly typed the message in French. A chill ran
down my spine when the words appeared in English. I read the translated text
three times.
He could never love you like I do. Soon, you will be back in my
arms. Soon, nothing will keep us apart
.

My
heart stalled. There was only one way Michael could know about Kadyn. He had to
have seen us together. Not only was Michael in DC, but he was clearly watching
me.

I
sat and stared at the message. I wanted to call Dan. He’d be a lot more likely
to find Michael if he could narrow his search to DC, but I was worried about
how far Dan would go to keep Michael away from me. I didn’t want Dan getting
into trouble with the authorities, and I didn’t want him flying to DC. The guy
had his own life to live.

I
debated telling Kadyn. He already knew about Michael, so he wouldn’t
necessarily be surprised. Still, I was concerned that Kadyn and I might be on
shaky ground, given my complete inability to manage dating and our last
departure. I had already given him enough reasons to run screaming for the
hills, and for some reason, completely outside my understanding, the guy
appeared determined to have a relationship with me.

Still,
I found myself looking over my shoulder when I left work. I walked briskly to
and from my car, and my walks with Cade grew shorter every night. An outline of
the mace Dan had given me was nearly imbedded in the palm of my hand.

I
was physically ill by the time Friday rolled around. I wasn’t sure whether it
was my nerves or if I picked up a virus at work, until I ended up with a fever
and chills shortly before noon. I threw in the towel at work. I texted Kadyn to
let him know I was going home sick. Then I texted Cenia to let her know I wouldn’t
be able to attend the Air Force-Navy game.

As
soon as I got home, I slipped into some yoga pants and a sweatshirt. I curled
up on the couch with a pillow and a pile of blankets. Cade nestled against my
chest, and we quickly fell asleep.

The
doorbell woke me a few hours later. I dragged the pile of blankets across the
floor and peered out the peephole in my door. Kadyn was standing there with a
shopping bag from the Disney Store.

I
rested my forehead against the door. I was mortified Kadyn was going to see me
looking so ragged. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. “You might
want to keep your distance. I feel like death,” I mumbled apologetically.

Kadyn
chose to ignore the warning. He brushed past me into the living room. “I’m so
sorry you’re sick, Kri. I can’t believe you’re going to miss the game
tomorrow.”

“I
know,” I responded dejectedly. “My timing couldn’t be worse.” I pulled the
blankets around me as I sank onto the couch.

He
dangled the shopping bag in front of me. “I brought you a present. Maybe this
will help you feel better.” Kadyn handed me the bag as he joined me on the
couch.  

I
sifted through the yellow and red tissue. I smiled when I finally discovered
the gift. “Eeyore pajamas?”

Kadyn
smiled. “I never could resist the Disney Store.” He brushed a strand of hair
out of my face. His eyes softened. “You’re burning up. Have you taken any
Tylenol?”

My
eyes fell closed as he pressed his cool hand against my cheek. “No. Not yet.”

Kadyn
stood. “Do you need me to run to the store?”

My
eyes popped open. “No. I’m pretty sure I still have some in the medicine
cabinet.” I pulled the blankets tighter as a chill ran through me.

He
walked into the kitchen and began digging through my cupboards. He found a
drinking glass and filled it with water. “Just sit tight. I’ll get it for you.”

Kadyn
disappeared down the hall. He returned a few seconds later with the glass of
water and Tylenol. He handed them to me. “Why don’t you rest while I walk
Cade?”

“Thank
you,” I responded gratefully.

Kadyn
snapped the leash on Cade’s collar while I took the Tylenol. I watched them
walk out the door, then sank back into the couch. I was half asleep by the time
they returned.

Kadyn’s
hand reached for mine as he sat on the couch. “I’m going to stay home from the
game tomorrow in case you need someone to take you to the doctor.”

I
sat up abruptly. “No, Kadyn. Please don’t miss the game because of me. Go. Have
fun. I’m sure I’ll be feeling better by the time you get back.”

Kadyn
looked torn. “Okay… but don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. Annapolis
isn’t far from here, so I can easily drive back if you need me.” He pulled me
into his arms. “Can you do me a favor before I go?”

I
glanced up in surprise. “Sure.”

He
pulled me to my feet and gently tucked me under his chin. “Will you dance with
me, Kri?” An R&B artist named Joe was singing softly on the music station I
had left playing on my television. “I think of you every time I hear this
song.”

I
closed my eyes and relaxed into his chest as he began to sway.

Kadyn
held my hand against his chest while he sang the lyrics to “I Wanna Know.” He
kissed the top of my head as the song ended.

I
began trembling as he pulled away. I couldn’t look at him. I was trying so hard
not to cry.

He
wrapped the blankets around me and settled me back onto the couch before
kissing my forehead one last time. “I’m going to leave so you can rest, but
please know that I’m just a phone call away. Feel better, and call if you need
me.”

I
forced myself to look at him. “Thank you, Kadyn… for everything.” My composure
cracked as I watched him slip out the door. When I was certain he was gone, I
set the bolt lock on the door and let the tears fall. Kadyn was tearing down
walls faster than I could build them. I knew what to expect from men who hit…
men who threatened, manipulated, demanded, and controlled. Sadly, I had no clue
what to do with a man like Kadyn.

*
* * * * *

I
was feeling a lot better by Sunday afternoon, so Kadyn picked up some wonton
soup from my favorite Chinese restaurant and joined me for dinner. Shortly
after we settled onto the couch, Cade jumped up and knocked the soup out of my
hands. The hot liquid doused Kadyn’s leg.

“Oh
God! I'm so sorry!” I knelt down at Kadyn’s feet to clean up the mess about the
same time he lifted his arm. Instinct drove me to scramble back and cower in
fear.          

Kadyn
looked completely horrified. His arm was frozen in mid-air, his sleeve dripping
from the soup. I hadn’t realized his arm was soaked, too. Kadyn’s jaw clenched
as he struggled to regain his composure.

I
eyed him warily. I wasn’t sure how angry he was about the soup.

Kadyn
spoke in a low, even tone. “Kri, look at me.” He waited to speak until my eyes
met his. “I would never hit you. I don’t know who hurt you, but I am
not
that person. I was lifting my arm so I could clean my sleeve.” He sank to the
floor and slowly crawled over to me.

I
buried my face in my hands. I couldn’t bear to look at Kadyn. I felt horrible
for thinking the worst of him, when he had been nothing but kind. “I’m so
sorry,” I mumbled miserably through the palm of my hands.

Kadyn
gathered me in his arms. “Hey,” he said softly. “Look at me.” He gently pulled
my hands from my face. “I am not that guy. I promise I will never hurt you.”

I
started shaking as the tears began to fall.

Kadyn
sat there and held me until the tears finally subsided. He smoothed back the
hair that was tangled in my tears. “Kri, I’m fine. The soup wasn’t that hot.
I’ll help you clean up. Then I’m going to run home and change. I’ll go to the
restaurant and get some more soup before I come back over. Why don’t you go get
yourself cleaned up, and I’ll take care of the couch and floor?” Kadyn pulled
me to my feet. He gave me a quick hug before sending me off to my bedroom.

I
hadn’t even registered the fact that my own jeans were soaked. I changed into a
pair of sweats, then ducked into the bathroom to wash my face. I didn’t bother
with makeup. I knew it was time to drag out all of my emotional baggage and
sort through it with Kadyn. The guy deserved an explanation.

As
soon as we finished eating, I reached for Kadyn’s hand. I forced my eyes to
meet his as I attempted to explain my behavior. “I’m so sorry for thinking the
worst of you, Kadyn. Please understand, this is all I’ve known for the past
nine years. While I grew up in a very loving home, I was in an abusive
relationship nearly my entire adult life.”

Kadyn
slowly nodded.

I
took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. “My ex-husband, Tom, was a
friend of my dad’s. He was ten years older than me. We started dating a few
weeks after I graduated from high school. He sold his business and moved to be
closer to me shortly after I moved away for college. He isolated me from my
family and friends until he was the only person left in my life. He insisted I
move in with him before the second semester ended.”

Kadyn
squeezed my hand, encouraging me to go on.

“I
still don’t understand how or why I let it happen. I fought for years to
maintain some independence and control, but after a while it was no longer
worth the verbal and physical abuse that would result… if I came home five
minutes late… if another man looked at me the wrong way… if I said the wrong
thing… if I wore the wrong shirt… if I spent too long talking to my mom on the
phone…” My voice trailed off. I closed my eyes against the images of Tom
screaming obscenities, throwing things, shoving me against the wall, and
hitting me.

Kadyn
wrapped his arms around me as I relived the abuse. “I’m so sorry, Kri. He was
clearly manipulating you. He led you to believe the abuse was your fault when
he was the one to blame.”

I
pulled my legs to my chest and settled my chin on my knees as I continued. “I
gathered enough courage to leave him once. He had thrown me on the hood of his
car when I took his keys and begged him not to drive away drunk. He threw me
hard enough to knock the wind out of me. When I slid down the hood and
collapsed on the pavement in front of the car, he tried to punch me in the
face. I ducked, and he punched out the headlight instead. The neighbors saw the
whole thing and called the police. When the police arrived, I was still
cowering on the ground in front of the car with Tom pacing in front of me
screaming obscenities, oblivious to the blood pouring from his hand.”

Kadyn’s
jaw clenched.

I
pushed on. “The police took Tom to the hospital and insisted I go to a local
battered women’s shelter. I went to stay with a childhood friend instead. She
had recently moved to the area, and Tom knew nothing about her. Still, I
refused to tell my parents. I was fearful about what my father might do if he
found out Tom was hurting me. So I kept my mouth shut about the abuse. Tom quit
drinking within a matter of weeks. He convinced me that he had changed. I
bought into the idea that the abuse was connected to his drinking problem, and
for a short time it appeared that he really had changed.”

Kadyn
tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “He hadn’t changed, had he?”

Cade
jumped up on the couch. He walked a couple of tight circles, then curled up
next to me.

I
tangled my fingers in his fur. “He was on his best behavior until we were
married six months later, but within weeks of the wedding he was restricting my
activities, hitting me, and tearing me back down again. He threatened to kill
me if I ever left him again. Cade tried to protect me as best a nine pound dog
could, so he ended up battered too. It wasn’t long before I was locking myself
in the bathroom at night and sleeping on the floor with Cade. It was the only
place I felt safe enough to sleep. Eventually, I confided in a couple I had
grown very close to...  Gra and Pa. They were like my honorary grandparents. They
said they’d help me when I was ready to leave Tom.”