The Brothers Karamazov (138 page)

“We find the accused guilty as charged!”

And then, to the remaining questions, one after another, the answer was always the same—guilty, guilty, guilty—and always without extenuating circumstances, without recommendation for leniency. Everyone was stunned, for nearly everybody had been certain that, whatever happened, at least leniency would be recommended. The spectators were still dead silent; every single person seemed truly stunned, both those who had been hoping for an acquittal and those who had wanted a verdict of guilty. But that lasted only a few moments, and then there was a general commotion. Many men appeared to be very pleased and some of them actually rubbed their hands with joy, without bothering to conceal their delight. Those who were displeased looked depressed, shrugged in disgust, exchanged whispers, still not seeming to have realized what had happened. But the ladies, my Lord, what happened to our ladies! I thought they were going to start a riot. At first they seemed unable to believe their ears. Then cries rose from among the spectators: “What’s going on here?” “What is all this?” They leapt to their feet. They apparently were under the impression that what had happened could still be changed and undone.

At that moment Mitya stood up and in a bloodcurdling voice shouted:

“I swear by God and by His last judgment that I am innocent of my father’s blood! I forgive you, Katya! Brothers, friends, take care of Grusha!”

He could not go on and started to sob in a loud, frightening voice that was completely unlike him and that resounded throughout the courtroom. Then, from the farthest corner of the gallery, came the piercing shriek of a woman. It was Grushenka. She had succeeded in convincing someone or other to let her into the courtroom again before the prosecutor and the defense counsel made their speeches.

Mitya was led away. The sentencing was to take place the next day. Everyone was on his feet now. The public was in great turmoil. But I did not wait any longer or listen to what was said. I remember, though, a few exclamations I heard as I was going down the steps outside the court building:

“He’ll have his noseful of the smell of mines in the next twenty years!”

“That’s the least of what he’ll have!”

“I must say, our good old peasants certainly stood their ground!”

“Yes, they’ve put dear Mitya-boy right out of the way!”

Epilogue

Chapter 1: Plans To Save Mitya

EARLY ON the morning of the fifth day following Mitya’s trial, Alyosha went to Katerina’s house to settle a matter of great importance to both of them. He also had a message for her. She received him in the room where she had once received Grushenka. In the next room lay Alyosha’s brother Ivan, unconscious and with a high fever. Immediately after the scene in the courtroom, Katerina had had the sick and unconscious Ivan moved to her house without bothering about the inevitable gossip that would result and the general disapproval of our town’s society. One of the two relatives who had been living with her left for Moscow after the trial, while the other stayed on. But even if they had both left, Katerina would have done the same, and would have nursed Ivan night and day. Ivan was attended by Dr. Varvinsky and Dr. Herzenstube, since the Moscow doctor had returned to Moscow, refusing to commit himself on the probable outcome of the illness. The other two doctors tried to reassure Katerina and Alyosha as much as they could, but it was obvious that they could not hold out any definite hope for Ivan’s recovery. Alyosha went to visit Ivan twice a day, but this time he had something special and rather unpleasant to discuss with Katerina and he knew how difficult it was going to be for him to bring up the subject. Also, he had very little time: he had other business to attend to elsewhere that same morning, so he had to be very quick about it.

They had been talking for about fifteen minutes. Katerina was very pale and tired and Alyosha could feel the nervous tension in her. She, for her part, knew what he had come to see her about now.

“You needn’t worry about what he decides,” she said with firm assurance. “One way or another he is bound to come to the conclusion that he must escape. That unhappy man, that man of honor and conscience—I am not speaking of Dmitry, of course, but of this one, lying sick beyond that door, who has sacrificed himself for his brother—” Katerina added with flashing eyes, “he told me long ago about the plan of escape. He had already taken steps . . . I have mentioned this to you before . . . You see, it will probably be at the third stop in the convoy of convicts to Siberia. But it’s still a long way off. Ivan has already been to see the commandant of the place where the party will stop after the third lap of the trip. We still don’t know, though, who will be in charge of the escort, but, anyway, that’s quite impossible to find out in advance. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll show you the detailed plan Ivan left with me, ‘just in case.’ He gave it to me that evening when you came . . . We had just had a quarrel then; if you remember, he walked out and was going downstairs when he met you and I insisted that he come back. You do remember, don’t you? And do you know what we quarreled about then?”

“No, I don’t,” Alyosha said.

“Well, of course, he couldn’t tell you then, but it was precisely about that plan of escape. He had told me three days before about the idea of an escape and, for the three days that followed, we kept quarreling. Our quarrels started because Ivan announced that, if sentenced, Dmitry was to escape abroad in the company of that horrible creature, and that made me furious. Why it made me so furious I couldn’t explain to you, because I don’t know myself . . . Although, of course, the mere mention of that creature made me angry, and precisely because he wanted to send her abroad with Dmitry!” Katerina suddenly cried out, her lips beginning to quiver. “And when Ivan saw I was so angry about the creature, he at once decided I was jealous of her and, therefore, that I was still in love with Dmitry. That was how we first quarreled. I felt I owed him no explanations or apologies, for I resented the fact that someone like Ivan should suspect me of still being in love with that . . . after I had told him myself that I no longer loved Dmitry and loved only him! In fact, it was because of my loathing for that creature that I was angry with him. Then, three days later, which was the day you came, he handed me a sealed envelope and asked me to open it at once if anything should happen to him. Oh, I’m sure he felt that sickness of his coming on. He explained that the envelope contained a detailed plan for Dmitry’s escape and that, should he fall sick or die, I would have to save Dmitry myself. And he left almost ten thousand rubles here too, the money the prosecutor, having somehow found out that Ivan had sent somebody to cash it for him, mentioned in his speech. I was suddenly very struck by the fact that, while he was jealous of Dmitry and was convinced I still loved him, he was so determined to save his brother that, seeing no other way, he asked me, of all people, to save him! Oh, that was a terribly painful decision for him to make and I’m sure, Alexei, you cannot fully appreciate the self-sacrifice it represented for him! I felt like throwing myself at his feet in admiration of such selflessness, but it occurred to me that he would interpret my doing so as joy that Mitya was to be saved—and I’m sure that is just how he would have interpreted it!—so then I was terribly irritated at the thought of his being so unfair and, instead of falling at his feet, I made another scene! Oh, I am so unhappy because of this miserable, terrible character of mine! You’ll see—I’ll make life so impossible for him that he, too, will leave me for some other woman, as Dmitry did, but then . . . No, that I could never bear—I’ll kill myself if he does that! And when you came that time, when I called out to you to come in and asked Ivan to come back with you, he gave me a look so full of scorn and hatred that I was seized by a terrible fury and shouted that it was 
he, he alone
, who had convinced me that Dmitry was the murderer. It was not true. I said it deliberately, to offend him, for he had never, never once, tried to convince me that Dmitry was the murderer; on the contrary, it was I who kept telling him that! Oh, it’s all the fault of my frenzied temperament! It was I who drove him to make that horrible appearance on the witness stand, because he felt he had to prove to me how noble he was and that, even though I loved his brother, he would never allow him to perish out of jealousy or to avenge himself. And that’s why he said those things in court . . . It’s all my fault. I’m the one to blame for everything!”

Never before had Katerina made such admissions to Alyosha. He felt she had reached that degree of suffering when the proudest people painfully cast away their pride and collapse under the weight of their unhappiness. Alyosha knew that there was still another terrible reason for her to suffer, which she would not admit to him, and which had been tormenting her since Mitya’s conviction. But it would have been very painful to him if she had decided to throw away all restraint now and tell him about it, too. Yes, she was suffering because of her “betrayal” at the trial, and Alyosha knew that her conscience was urging her to talk about it, to express all those feelings, and that it was before him, Alyosha, that she longed to let herself go, to have hysterics, scream, and writhe on the floor. He dreaded that moment and wanted to spare this unhappy woman. And that made it all the more difficult for him to give her the message he had for her. He again spoke of Mitya.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry about him!” she again answered stubbornly and impatiently. “That won’t last—I know him only too well. Take my word for it—he’ll go along with the escape plan. Besides, he has plenty of time to change his mind and, by then, Ivan will have recovered and will take charge of everything, and I’ll be out of it altogether. There’s nothing for you to worry about: he’ll escape. In fact, I’m sure he’s made up his mind already, for you don’t really think, do you, that he’d be willing to be separated from that creature? And since they won’t let her go to the penitentiary with him, there’s no other way out for him but to escape. What makes him hesitate is the fear of your moral disapproval, Alexei. He’s afraid that you’ll think his fleeing is morally wrong. So all you have to do is generously give him your blessing, since he seems to need your permission so badly,” she added stingingly, and then, after a brief pause, went on: “He was babbling on about hymns, about a cross, that sort of stuff—Ivan told me about it, and you should have heard the tone in which he told me about it!” she cried again with uncontrollable emotion. “I cannot convey to you how much he loved that wretched brother of his at that moment and how, at that moment too, he loathed him! And I stood there with a sarcastic smile, listening to his words and looking at the tears in his eyes! Ah, horrible creature! I am speaking of myself now, for if he is lying there in a high fever, it’s all my fault! As to the convict, do you by any chance imagine that he is prepared to accept his ordeal?” Katerina asked in great irritation. “Do you think that a man like him is capable of suffering? Let me tell you that men like him never suffer at all!”

There was hatred, scorn, and loathing in the voice of this woman for the man whom she had betrayed. “It is because she feels guilty toward him that she hates him so at certain moments,” Alyosha decided. And he wanted very badly for it to be only “at certain moments”! He had detected a challenge in Katerina’s last words, but he ignored it.

“The reason I wanted to talk to you today was to ask you to convince him yourself to agree right now. Unless you, too, believe that running away would be dishonorable, unheroic, or what have you—perhaps un-Christian?”

She looked at him even more challengingly.

“No, no, nothing of the sort . . . I’ll tell him everything . . .” Alyosha mumbled. “He would like you to come and see him today,” he suddenly blurted out, looking straight into her eyes.

She gave a start and pulled back, away from him, on the sofa.

“Me? How is that possible?”

“It is both possible and necessary!” Alyosha said with warmth. “He needs you very much, especially now. I would not hurt you by bringing it up if it hadn’t been urgent. He is sick, almost out of his mind, and he’s asking for you. You needn’t go there to make up with him: all you have to do is show yourself at the door . . . Much has changed in him since that day. He understands how infinitely guilty he is before you. He does not ask you to forgive him: ‘I am unpardonable,’ he says. ‘I’d just like to see her at the door . . .’ ”

“Now you’ve suddenly . . .” Katerina muttered. “All these days I’ve known that it would come to this . . . I was certain he’d send for me . . . It’s impossible though . . .”

“Impossible or not, just go there. You must understand that it’s the first time he has understood how much he has hurt you. He never realized it so fully and so deeply before. He says that, if you refuse to come and see him now, he’ll be unhappy for the rest of his life. So there’s a man facing twenty years of hard labor but who still aspires to happiness! Isn’t that moving? Just think: you will pay a visit to an unjustly condemned, innocent man!” Alyosha cried challengingly, despite himself. “His hands are clean—there is no blood on them! In the name of the long ordeal ahead of him, please go and see him now! Come, see him off as he is about to vanish into the darkness. Just show yourself in his doorway. That’s all he is asking of you. And you must, you must do it,”. Alyosha said, emphasizing the word “must.”

“I must, but I cannot . . .” Katerina moaned. “I won’t be able to stand his looking at me . . . I can’t . . .”

“Your eyes will have to meet. For how could you live the rest of your life if you lack the courage to face him now?”

“I’d rather suffer all my life than that.”

“But you must go, understand, 
you must
,” Alyosha insisted, still mercilessly emphasizing the “must.”

“But why must I go today, at once? . . . I cannot leave Ivan, sick as he is . . .”

“You can. You’ll go there for just one minute. And if you don’t go, he’ll be in a fever by tonight. You know I wouldn’t lie to you. So please, have mercy on him!”

“And you, have mercy on me!” Katerina said reproachfully, bursting into tears.

“So I take it you’re coming,” Alyosha said firmly, seeing her tears. “I’ll go and tell him now that you’re coming.”

“No, no, you mustn’t tell him that, not for anything!” she cried in terror. “I’ll go there, but don’t tell him anything, because I might not go in . . . I don’t know yet . . .”

Her voice faltered. She was out of breath. Alyosha stood up, ready to leave.

“And what if I should meet somebody there?” she said in a quiet voice, turning completely white.

“Well, that’s why I think you should go right away, for you won’t meet anyone at this hour. I’m quite certain that there’ll be no one else with him now. We’ll be waiting for you,” he concluded firmly, and left the house.

Chapter 2: A Lie Temporarily Becomes The Truth

ALYOSHA HURRIED to the municipal hospital, to which they had transferred Mitya the day after the trial, when he became ill with a nervous fever. He was in the prison ward. But, yielding to the pleas of Alyosha and many others, including Mrs. Khokhlakov and Lise, Dr. Varvinsky had Mitya kept away from the other prison inmates and put into a small, separate room, the one, in fact, that had previously been occupied by Smerdyakov. Still, there were bars on the window and a guard stood in the passage outside the door, so Dr. Varvinsky did not have to worry—he had allowed a slight irregularity, but he was a kind and compassionate young doctor. He understood that it would be too painful for someone like Mitya to find himself suddenly surrounded by thieves, swindlers, and murderers, and that he ought to be given a chance to get used to them. As to the visits of relatives and close friends, they were allowed not only by the doctor but also by the chief warden of the prison and by the police inspector, although that was also not strictly according to the regulations. But, thus far, the only two persons to visit Mitya had been Alyosha and Grushenka. A couple of times Rakitin had tried to see him, but Mitya had firmly asked Dr. Varvinsky not to admit him.

When Alyosha arrived, Mitya was sitting on his bed in a hospital gown. He was running a temperature and his head was wrapped in a towel soaked in water and vinegar. He first glanced absently at Alyosha, but soon a frightened look appeared on his face.