The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams (26 page)

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Authors: Lawrence Block

Tags: #Fiction, #Library, #Mystery Fiction, #Mystery & Detective, #Rhodenbarr; Bernie (Fictitious character), #General, #New York (N.Y.), #Thieves, #Detective and mystery stories; American, #Burglars

BOOK: The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams
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Praise
for everyone’s favorite felon
BERNIE RHODENBARR and
New York Times
bestselling Grand Master
LAWRENCE BLOCK’s
THE BURGLAR WHO
TRADED TED WILLIAMS

“Gentleman burglar, wit, and reluctant sleuth, Bernie Rhodenbarr, has returned to astound and beguile us with another tale of his criminal and ratiocinative skills…The plot has everything: romance, greed, sibling rivalry, betrayal, illicit relations, and enough coincidence and literary spoofing to keep the story safely in the realm of Never-Never Land. For those who like whodunits, the plot remains a genuine puzzle and
AN EXERCISE FOR THE WITS…
A sparkling treat.”

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“I can’t remember the last book of any kind that made me laugh out loud as often…Bernie’s takeoffs on the titles of Sue Grafton mysteries…are
WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION ALONE
, and the plot…is loopy enough to keep you reading.”

Chicago Tribune

“A SCREAM…
Bernie Rhodenbarr is one of the most charming and wittiest characters in the burglar business.”

Denver Rocky Mountain News

“A romp…The bookseller-burglar is back…
HE’S AS FUNNY AND FEISTY AS EVER.”

San Francisco Chronicle

“SIDE-SPLITTING…
a wild and bumpy ride…His canny survival instincts, combined with his irrepressible sense of humor, make Bernie Rhodenbarr one of detective fiction’s most engaging heroes.”

Minneapolis Star Tribune

“A witty series…[A] disarmingly antic crime caper…Bernie is incorrigibly adorable…Between his inquiring mind and his sticky fingers,
BERNIE IS THE IDEAL SLEUTH.”

New York Times Book Review

“WHAT A PLEASURE!…
Bernie Rhodenbarr is back and plying his illegal trade…This is crime comedy at its best. Reading Rhodenbarr is about as light and easy as drinking lemonade on a hot day, and it’s a whole lot more fun.”

Syracuse Post-Standard

“IT’S THE MARK OF AN INNOVATIVE STORYTELLER
to turn a normally reprehensible character into a hero—of sorts. Author Lawrence Block’s Bernie the burglar series aren’t just good mysteries, they are supreme escapism.”

Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel

“Wildly different…In his Matthew Scudder books, Block is one of the most serious of crime novelists. When he chronicles Bernie…Block is one of the funniest…
A PLOT OF A SWISS WATCH COMPLEXITY…
[Bernie] is enough to give burglary a good name.”

Los Angeles Times

“[If] you hear people around you laughing, check to see if they’re reading this book…[The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams] is sure to be greeted by old fans with whoops of joy…This is very funny, with a wonderful, complicated, highly improbable plot,
HILARIOUS DIALOGUE, AND CHARACTERS
you wish you could invite over for supper.”

USA Today

“The bookselling burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr is back…and fans like me are glad to see him…
THIS BOOK IS READ-ALOUD FUNNY—
warn whoever’s in the room with you that gales of laughter and an occasional ‘you’ve gotta hear this’ will ensue whenever you pick it up.”

New Orleans Times-Picayune

“There’s only one word to describe Lawrence Block’s new Rhodenbarr novel:
LOVELY! CHARMING! FAST!
FUNNY! TERRIFIC! OH!”

Ed McBain

“LIKABLE, CLEVER, FAST-MOVING ENTERTAIN MENT…
[with] quirky characters, inventive plotting, and lively dialogue.”

Cleveland Plain Dealer

“[Block is] a master of ingratiating, literate entertainment…Plot turns aside,
IT’S SIMPLY FUN TO LISTEN TO BERNIE RHODENBARR TALK…
Anyone requiring escapist reading will find [The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams] a real steal.”

Washington Post Book World

“A CRACKERJACK TREAT.
Wonderfully wicked…a breezy read.”

New York Daily News

“The comic caper has few practitioners today, but…Lawrence Block is back amongst the thieving…He is as good as they come…Block’s narrative pacing and storytelling…keep the reader smiling throughout…Whether you’re an old fan or a newcomer,
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams
is cause to lock your door and bar your windows to stave off late-night intrusions as you tag along with Bernie…
MASTERFUL.”

South Bend Tribune

“Welcome back Bernie Rhodenbarr…
WILDLY FUNNY…
It was worth the wait…Crackles with fun…Block regales the reader with various entertaining side plots that take in everything from the value of rare baseball cards to the care and feeding of cats.”

Associated Press

“THE MOST TALKED-ABOUT MYSTERY OF THE SEASON…
Fun…Here is a locked-room mystery, a crime nobody could have committed, in a school of red herrings that implicates absolutely everybody, including the narrator.”

Toronto Sun

“FANS WILL BE GLAD TO KNOW THAT BERNIE IS AS LIGHTHEARTED AND LIGHT-FINGERED AS EVER.”

Virginian-Pilot

“[A] VERY FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE LIGHTER SIDE OF CRIME.”

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

“Welcome, Bernie the burglar. Delighted to see you back…[Rhodenbarr’s] as insouciantly entertaining, as supercharged with New York attitude as ever…Relentless madcap action…This book goes a long way toward confirming Block’s place at the mystery-writing pinnacle…
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams
is a
GRAND-SLAM FUN-FEST THAT’LL LOCK A SMILE ON YOUR FACE FROM BEGINNING TO END.”

Orange County Register

“HYSTERICAL…
[It] made me laugh out loud on the bus.”

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

“AN ABSOLUTE TREAT—
the funniest, cleverest, in-jokiest lark of a mystery since, well…the amiably larcenous Bernie.”

Booklist

“RHODENBARR IS A WITTY, QUIRKY CHARACTER…
If we all spoke like they do in Block’s novels, there’d be smiles on all our faces and quips on our lips.”

Ottawa Citizen

“MY, IT’S NICE TO SEE BERNIE AGAIN.”

Washington Times

Books by Lawrence Block

The Bernie Rhodenbarr Mysteries

B
URGLARS
C
AN

T
B
E
C
HOOSERS
• T
HE
B
URGLAR IN THE
C
LOSET
• T
HE
B
URGLAR
W
HO
L
IKED TO
Q
UOTE
K
IPLING
• T
HE
B
URGLAR
W
HO
S
TUDIED
S
PINOZA
• T
HE
B
URGLAR
W
HO
P
AINTED
L
IKE
M
ONDRIAN
• T
HE
B
URGLAR
W
HO
T
RADED
T
ED
W
ILLIAMS
• T
HE
B
URGLAR
W
HO
T
HOUGHT
H
E
W
AS
B
OGART
• T
HE
B
URGLAR IN THE
L
IBRARY
• T
HE
B
URGLAR IN THE
R
YE
• T
HE
B
URGLAR ON THE
P
ROWL

The Matthew Scudder Novels

T
HE
S
INS OF THE
F
ATHERS
• T
IME TO
M
URDER AND
C
REATE
• I
N THE
M
IDST OF
D
EATH
• A S
TAB IN THE
D
ARK
• E
IGHT
M
ILLION
W
AYS TO
D
IE
• W
HEN THE
S
ACRED
G
INMILL
C
LOSES
• O
UT ON THE
C
UTTING
E
DGE
• A T
ICKET TO THE
B
ONEYARD
• A D
ANCE AT
THE
S
LAUGHTERHOUSE
• A W
ALK
A
MONG THE
T
OMBSTONES
• T
HE
D
EVIL
K
NOWS
Y
OU

RE
D
EAD
• A L
ONG
L
INE OF
D
EAD
M
EN
• E
VEN THE
W
ICKED
• E
VERYBODY
D
IES
• H
OPE TO
D
IE
A
LL THE
F
LOWERS
A
RE
D
YING

Keller’s Greatest Hits

H
IT
M
AN
• H
IT
L
IST

S
MALL
T
OWN

Collected Short Stories

E
NOUGH
R
OPE

Copyright

This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

T
HE
B
URGLAR WHO TRADED TED WILLIAMS
. copyright © 1994 by L
AWRENCE
B
LOCK
. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

EPub Edition © OCTOBER 2005 ISBN: 9780061840968

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