The Butcher Boy (4 page)

Oh if only Pete was here now.

One of the best characters in the town poor Pete.

Music? There wasn't a song he didn't know.

Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me!

That was his!

To go so early, who'd have thought it?

The Good Lord, he does his harvesting and he forgets no one!

Bing! Could he sing Bing! Dear Hearts and Gentle People!

No better man to sing it!

Please God he's happy where he is now!

Alo's eyes were brightly lit what about a song he says and off we went to the sitting room. He angled his elbow on the piano and when they sang
White Christmas
you could hear him above everybody else as he put his whole heart into it. You could see the veins in his forehead as he strained for the high notes. When the song was over they lapsed into silence and their eyes glazed over.

Mary, they said, you never played better.

Oh now, says Mary, I haven't played in years.

Since Alo went away, they laughed.

Go easy on the girl or she'll play none!

Also sang
Tyrone Among the Bushes.
Sweat spread a dark stain on his back. He raised his glass and took a bow.

You never lost it Alo, they cried, Tyrone Among the Bushes you'll not top that!

Who's next for shaving!

Then there were recitations, Dangerous Dan McGrew and Sam McGee mush mush in the Arctic snow.

By God it's better than a play!

Now who, I ask you, needs the West End after that! Am I right Alo?

Now you're talking! laughed Alo.

Ma arrived with a silver teapot and on the plate a castle of butterfly buns with its turrets ready to topple.

Who's for a few buns she said or maybe you'd like some cake? I'll go and get some. I have plenty of slices cut.

No this is grand we're well fed here sit down and rest yourself never mind us!

We're an awful crowd!

Alo stood behind Mary with his hands placed on her shoulders and sang
When you were sweet sixteen.

The clapping went on for over a minute and she didn't know where to look.

You shouldn't she said.

Alo's face was red as a beetroot and his eyes were wild. He laughed and then went down on his hunkers, half-crouched and ready to leap an abyss. I could see him checking all the faces in the room and then when he was satisfied that everything was all right he let out a kind of a growl and out of nowhere grips her by the arm. It took her completely by surprise and she nearly fell off her stool.

And why shouldn't I me darling?

He fell into her lap and his legs swung out and up into the air.

Ma squealed and everybody cheered.

We may get the priest! they cried.

Just for a split second I though Mary was going to throw her arms around Alo and burst into tears. She kept biting her nail and her lip was trembling just like a kid when it falls and everybody's asking are you all right are you all right?

But she didn't burst into any tears. When the laughter had died away, Alo struggled to right himself with one hand and straighten his tie with the other. As he got up his fingers lightly brushed against her cheek and she bent her head. Then someone went to say something but didn't say it. After that there was silence but Alo didn't want silence. He rushed over and poured himself a fresh drink. He called for another song.

What about the Inspector of Drains from the County Leitrim? The man himself -- Percy French!

Mary hunched herself up over the keyboard so that no one would see her hands were shaking. The flies were at the cakes again and there were crumbs all over the floor where Alo's elbow had knocked a plate. But no one even noticed. There was a spot of butterfly bun cream on the triangle top of his red hankie. It was well past two and everybody was singing different songs. Would you look at the time someone said and a long low whistle glided across the room.

We'll never make Mass in the morning.

Time we were moving so, they said.

You'll stay another while, please! said Alo.

There'll be more nights, they said, man dear but it was great to see you Alo!

Let me, said ma, and went to the hall for their coats.

Well there you are, said da, standing in the doorway and smoothing his hair back from his forehead with the edge of his hand.

Now we're right, they said, or right as we'll ever be!

Alo shook hands and said goodbye. He didn't want to let go their hands when they made to go off to the car he was still holding on. They called from the car Please God it won't be so long the next time!

Mary tried to look away but a magnet pulled her eyes back until they met Alo's. He reached out to touch her on the shoulder then retracted it again like a shoplifter losing his nerve at the last minute. He didn't know what to do then so he just stood there. He was standing almost on his tiptoes. If it had been earlier they all might have whistled or hummed to get rid of the silence. Now all they did was jingle coins and fasten overcoat buttons, they couldn't think of anything else to do. Mary's lips parted to speak. I knew what she was going to say. She was going to say
it was lovely to see you
but that was exactly what Alo said and the sentences collided in mid-air. Mary tried to start again. So did Alo. Then Alo went pale and leaned forward. He kissed her softly on the hair and when she looked again he was gone. He was back inside with the whiskey bottle. Da muttered something under his breath I don't know what and the ball bearing eyes were cold steel in his head. The chickenhouse fan was droning away, the hens as happy as Larry inside their warm woodchip world of burbling beaks and swooshing seed. It was like they were saying: Well we're all right. You won't find us worrying! We're too busy burbling and waiting for our dinner!

Mary was already in the car I don't know whether she was crying or what all I could see was these blurred faces leaning over to her in the back seat.

Things get to her, said da, her time of life its not easy for a woman, you'd think he'd have more wit a man of his age.

He said it under his breath but I knew he was talking about Alo. Ma said nothing, pretended she didn't hear it but she must have because he was looking right at her when he said it.

The engine chugged into life. The car took the corner by the ash pit out onto the main road, and everything settled back into silent white.

Da just stood there like he was in some kind of a trance. He kept flicking his thumb against his forefinger. I wanted to say to him stop it, quit doing that. That was the best night ever, I said.

Its time you were in your bed, he said.

Inside Alo had opened another bottle of whiskey. He hesitated staring at the silver curls of the torn label in the palm of his hand. Da said I could sleep on the sofa so I lay there with my eyes closed but there was too much going on to sleep, it was like a firework display of all the things they had been saying. Shadows ate up the room. One last song, said Alo, and a nightcap to wind it up, what do you say Benny?

No more singing. There's been plenty of singing.

Ah now Benny, laughed Alo, don't be like that. A wee bit of singing never hurt anyone, am I right Mrs?

He started into The Old Bog Road, he said that was the one the priest had taught them in the home all those years ago. I knew as soon as he had said the word
home
that he regretted it. When you said it even when you weren't talking about orphanages, da went pale sometimes he even got up and left the room. Alo tried to cover it up by saying Will you ever forget the time we robbed the presbytery orchard?

He laughed. Then he laughed again. But it was all wrong. It was like the moment before a cracked glass shatters. When da didn't answer, he just kept on asking all sorts of questions.

He told more stories then more singing. He was singing at the top of his voice. It was the silence around da that made me ice all over. Then ma wept. He paid no heed to that either, just sat there behind a glass wall of silence. Alo had his back to the fireplace like he had when he came in first. He kept waiting for da to speak. He wanted him to speak more than anything in the world. But da would only speak when he was ready. Then I saw him look at Alo. I knew the look. He wouldn't take his eyes off him now until he had finished with him. I saw him do it to ma. They could pierce you them eyes good as any blade. Then he said it. Who do you think you're fooling Alo? Are you going to go on making a laughing stock of yourself or are you going to catch yourself on? Do you think any of them believe that shite-talk you've been going on with all night?

For the love of God Benny leave the man alone, cried ma.

Coming home here crowing about Camden Town, do you want to have us the laughing stock of the place?

Look at him with his wee red handkerchief. Did the wife iron it for you?

Not again ma cried not again please Benny!

I warned him! I told him I wanted to hear no more of it! But no, we had to have it, then on top of that carrying on with her like a schoolboy halfwit. The whole town knows that too, made a cod of himself with her. Never even had the guts to ask her out straight till it was too late. Oh Camden Town's a great place Alo, we all know that. Camden Town's the place he met the only woman he ever laid a finger on. Took her to the altar because he was afraid to ask anyone else. Twenty years his senior for the love of God. Half-blind and hates him from the day she married him!

I knew ma wanted to hold it in she didn't want any of that to start now I knew what she was afraid of she was afraid of the garage. But she didn't want to let Alo down, she would never let anyone down. She had to say it. Dear God I'm sorry Alo, she said.

But da wasn't finished yet. I knew he wasn't near finished but I just lay there and didn't say anything that's all I did I just lay there with my eyes closed pretending I was asleep.

Ten men under him, said da, that's right. Closing a gate in a Backstreet factory that's what he's been at from the day he landed there, tipping his cap to his betters in his wee blue porter's suit. Oh Alo went far, make no mistake!

Ma touched Alo on the forearm he looked like a child who had soiled his trousers.

There was sweat on da's upper lip it shone like needles. He said: He was always the same, from the minute we were dumped in that Belfast kip. The same softie halfwit, sucking up to the nuns and moping about the corridors. You know what he used to tell them? Our da's coming to take us home tomorrow! Night noon and morning I had to listen to it! You'd be waiting a long time if you were to wait for Andy Brady to come and take you home! I told him to shut up! What did we care I said we'd manage on our own we needed nobody. I told him it was all over. But he wouldn't listen! Couldn't be shut up, him and his mouthing! And the rest of them taking a hand out of him every chance they got!

Ma cried out. I never seen her face da before. Don't blame it on your brother because you were put in a home! Christ Jesus Benny are you never going to come to terms with it! After all this time, is it never going to end?

The side of Alo's face jerked and for a second it seemed as if he was on the verge of saying something really daft like: Do you think it will rain? Or
Where did you get that tablecloth?

He didn't though. What he said was: Its getting late. Maybe I'm as well get to my bed.

Then he said: I'll hardly see you before I go.

He asked ma did the bus still go from the corner. She said it did.

Da had a whiskey glass in his hand. It was trembling a little. I thought maybe he wanted to fling it from him, throw his arms around Alo and cry at the top of his voice: How about that Alo? Fairly fooled you there! That took you in hook line and sinker! Me and Alo -- the years we spent in Belfast! The home? A wonderful place! The best years of our lives! Me and Alo -- we loved every minute of it in there! Isn't that right old friend?

When all this came into my head I wanted to leap up and yahoo. I wanted to cry out let's have another party I'll go and get Mary and the whole thing can go right this time what do you say to that Alo is that a good idea?

But that was only me raving and didn't happen and the next thing I heard was the sound of the front door closing, you could hardly hear it at all. Ma was in a bad way now. It destroyed you that place, can't you see that?, she said. You can't even talk about it, can you? Not even after all this time! Its no shame Benny that you were put in there! And even if it was, no shame should make you turn on your own brother like a dog!

He didn't like that and he turned on her then. He said at least he never had to be took off to a madhouse to disgrace the whole family. I knew then ma was never in any garage but I knew all along anyway, I knew it was a madhouse I just didn't want Nugent or anyone to hear so I said it was a garage. But then I knew too that Nugent knew all about it Mrs Connolly and the women would have told her. So I don't know what I bothered saying anything about a garage for at all. I could hear Nugent saying: Imagine him thinking he could pull the wool over my eyes!