The Calendar of New Beginnings (38 page)

Lucy set her leather briefcase purse on the ground. This was going to take a while, and she didn’t want to have this confrontation while confined in her small house. “You’re right, Mother. I’m not like other girls. I didn’t want the things most girls want. But you make me feel like I’m bad. For being me.”

Her mother’s eyes narrowed. “Well, you make me feel like a bad mother. You think I’m shallow for wanting to do a funny and risqué calendar to honor people who’ve died of cancer. And then you shame me in front of my friends.”

“I never shamed you!” she said, shaking her head.
 

“Sure you did!” her mother shot back. “You did it with April and the other volunteers. This morning your father looked at me with more judgment than I’ve ever seen. Then Andy Hale came by to deliver the final punch. I’m not a bad person!”

But she clearly felt like one, or she wouldn’t be talking this way. “No, you’re not, Mother. I’m not either. We just…don’t speak the same language. I hoped that could change. Even though I’m thirty-six years old, I hoped…” Oh, crap, she wasn’t going to say it.

“What?” her mother pressed.

“Nothing.” Lucy shook her head. “We aren’t going to resolve this, Mom.”

“We certainly aren’t if you don’t finish what you were about to say. Tell me.”

She looked down at her feet, wishing the ground could swallow her. “I just wish that you could be proud of me for one teensy, weensy second. And that’s stupid because I’m the only one who should care about my accomplishments. I hate that I still want your approval.”

“Join the club,” her mother said dryly.

Lucy blinked. “You want my approval?”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to say?” her mother asked. “Ever since you could walk, your father has been everything to you. I never measured up, and since we didn’t have any more children after you despite all our hoping and trying, I didn’t have anyone else to…”

Have a second chance with
, Lucy thought. As a kid, she used to ask her parents why she couldn’t have a brother or a sister like Andy did, and they’d always told her it was in God’s hands. She’d stopped asking when she was ten, sensing it upset them.

Her mother seemed to shake off the old memories. “Then you left here and did all this…stuff I didn’t understand. I felt like you judged me for staying here and living an average life. When you came back, I hoped the calendar would bring us together. Not tear us apart.”

So she hadn’t been too far off last night. Neither one of them was completely wrong—or right. “That’s what I wanted too,” she said sadly.

“Then Andy Hale shoved his camera in my face today after I got out of the hot tub.”

The hot tub? Served him right for interfering. “Seriously?”

“He’s a real prude, Lucy. I’m a little worried for you, but that’s not the point. He showed me the photo you took of him while he was thinking about Kim.”

The one she’d sent him earlier in the morning. “He didn’t like it at first.”

Her mother nodded. “That’s what he said. But then he realized you were capturing the love he still had for Kim despite everything. That he was moving forward and living with it. He said that was what your photos of Jill and Rhett and Old Man Jenkins showed too.”

If Lucy had had a chair behind her, she would have sat down. He got it. He got
her
. She’d thought so last night, but this confirmed it one hundred percent.

“I got to thinking about what he said,” her mother continued, twisting her wedding ring. “I’m not saying you’re completely wrong about the photos, but I’m not saying I’m completely right either.”

For her mother, it was a giant admission. “I’d come to the same conclusion. Even though I wanted you to be wrong.” She gave her mother a wry smile.

“Your father said we’re alike that way,” she said, smiling in return. “That’s why we always butt heads. He also gave me the first ultimatum he’s ever given me in our forty-plus years together. He told me to say I’m sorry. That you’re our daughter, and we won’t lose you because of this. And I don’t want to lose you, Lucy.”

Lucy’s heart finally broke open, and the hurt rolled through. “I don’t want to lose you either, Mom.”

Her mother sniffed. “So, I’ll say I’m sorry and really mean it. And I’ll try a little harder to understand you, and I’ll hope you’ll do the same for me.”

In her whole life, her mother had never apologized to her. “Thank you for saying that. I know it wasn’t easy. I’m sorry too, Mom.”

“And I want you to do the calendar,” she said, “but I’d really like you to share the process more with me if it wouldn’t be too much trouble. It’s hard to admit I really don’t know you and why you chose those photos. But I’d like to.”

Well, that put a lump in her throat. “I’d like that too.”

“Oh, come here,” her mother said, grabbing her in a hug. “We might fight like cats and dogs, but I still love you.”

Lucy couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s what some people call tough love.”

Her mother pushed her back and stared into her eyes. “It’s about to get tougher. Why
are
you home, Lucy? Because it’s damn well past time you told me the whole story and not that vague crap you told your father. I know you’ve gotten cozy with Andy Hale, but it chaps my hide that he knows why you’re back and I don’t.”

Lucy sighed. “Why don’t you come inside? I’ll make some tea and tell you. Just promise me you won’t turn all crazy on me and become Caretaker Mom.”

“Like I’d agree to something like that in advance,” her mother said, grabbing her forearm and leading her toward the house. “Do I look stupid?”

“Never,” Lucy answered. “But I’d still like you to agree to try and be reasonable when you hear why I’m back.” Hopefully, it wouldn’t change her mind about Lucy’s suitability for doing the calendar.

Her mother stopped her as she opened the front door. “It’s that bad?”

“It’s not great.”

Her mother pushed her inside. “Then I’ll try, and whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”

Lucy could live with that. She headed to the kitchen to make tea.

Chapter 29      

Moira finished up her call for a potential job in Denver and tried to whoop and holler about the offer they’d laid out. She’d crushed the interview last week. Blown them out of the water. Now they were offering her a fabulous position with greater responsibility and a better title. Plus, the offer was in her salary range and came with great benefits. She’d told them she would think about it.

But it wasn’t the job she wanted. It was, at best, a good Plan B. What in the world was taking Chase Parker so long to get back to her? She’d run into Evan at Margie’s bakery the other day, but he’d held up his hands and said the ball was in Chase’s court. She’d gritted her teeth to keep from asking more questions.

The man was thorough. Industry standards suggested good human resource practice was to ask for three references. Chase had asked for five and checked them all personally, which showed his seriousness. A man of his position didn’t usually check references. She was so fed up with the waiting. Being without work gave her way too much time to think about things. She needed to take a second Latin dance class or something to release all this frustration.

The doorbell rang, and Moira went to answer it, grateful for a distraction.

She was surprised to see Lucy on the other side of the door. “Hi, Moira,” she said, sounding a little nervous.

Of course, Moira knew why she would be nervous. Her mother was deeply upset about the fight between Lucy and her mother. “Hi, Lucy. If you’ve come to see Mom, she’s out at the store.”

She shifted on her feet. “I’m here to see you, actually.”

Moira tilted her head, puzzled. Something told her this wasn’t a social call. “Okay. Come in. We can talk in the kitchen.”

Once Lucy was settled at the table, Moira asked if she wanted anything to drink. Lucy’s request for water confirmed she wasn’t here for a drink and a laugh.

Moira set the glass of water in front of her and sat down beside her. “What’s on your mind, Lucy?”

Her exhalation was more an explosion of pent-up energy. “I just spoke with my mother about the calendar, and it’s going forward as I’d envisioned. I assume your mom mentioned the fight.”

“In epic terms,” she said, making a face. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Lucy said, running her finger over the blue flowers on the white tablecloth. “Things are better. For the moment. We still have a long way to go.”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” Moira said, wishing she had more than clichés to offer.

“So…about the calendar,” Lucy continued, taking a quick sip of her water. “You might have wondered what was going on at Jill’s photo shoot.”

Moira blanked. “You’ll have to help me out here.”

Lucy laughed self-consciously. “So, you didn’t realize I was having trouble taking photos that day?”

“You seemed pretty nervous, and I remember you having some issues with your new camera, but I don’t remember thinking anything was wrong.”

“Whew!”
Lucy put her hands on her head and laughed a little harder. “I told your brother I was sure you were on to me, but he said you hadn’t said a word to him.”

On to her? “Lucy, now I’m really confused. Help me out here.”

Lucy lowered her hands to the table and gripped the edge. Moira’s gaze flew to her face, and suddenly she knew the other woman was about to confess something big.

“Let me tell you why I returned to Dare Valley. And why I need your help with the calendar.”

And so she began. Halfway through her story, Moira extended her hand to Lucy. When Lucy’s voice broke at this small gesture of compassion, Moira knew she had been right to give it. Usually when someone was telling her a difficult life story at her work, she tried to keep a step back from them. But this was her brother’s girlfriend. One of her idols.

Moira felt tears gather in her eyes as Lucy described her fears about taking photos again. She found her heart breaking a little for this brave woman she admired so much. Moira enjoyed photography, but it was Lucy’s life and blood.

“I’m going to do the calendar,” Lucy continued after drinking more water, “but I talked to my mother about having you help me. You…understand what it’s about. Because of Kim.”

She really had to blink back the tears this time. Kim had been a shining light in all of their lives and when she’d died, it had felt like the sun had been stolen from their family.

“I’d be happy to help,” Moira told her, clutching her hand. “Lucy, I know I’m not as good as you are. I never could be. But I’ll do my best.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” she said, returning the grip. “I don’t want these photos to suffer because of my current limitations, and I know you can help offset those. I’m still adjusting to the electronic finder, but the biggest issues are that it’s hard for me to see whether the lighting is right and if the picture is blurry as I shoot. There could be a problem—”

“But you can’t distinguish it as easily on the fly,” Moira finished. “I can’t imagine how horrible this must be for you.”

Truthfully, she was amazed Lucy had even agreed to do the calendar in the first place. Now she understood why Andy had told her to give Lucy some space.

“The only people who know about my…situation are your brother, Tanner—because he’s been in the same hot spots and gets it—and my mother,” she said, “although I expect my dad will know soon enough. I need to tell him the whole story myself, but it’s…been a day.”

Moira nodded. “No doubt. I’ll help you any way I can. I don’t want you to worry. I have your back.”

Lucy gave her a weak smile. “You Hales.”

The way she said it made Moira smile back. “What are you going to do long-term? About your career.”

“That’s the million-dollar question,” Lucy answered, suddenly pushing out of her chair like she couldn’t be contained any longer.

Moira let go of her hand and stood. “You should head on home, drink some wine, and take a bath. We can talk about the calendar in more detail when you’re ready.”

Lucy reached for her oversized bag hanging on the back of her chair. “I wanted to show you my choices for the three volunteers so far. I…showed Andy, but he doesn’t have a photographer’s eye. And your mother liked them… We won’t talk about what my mother said yesterday. We came to a new understanding today. They need to be touched up a lot more than usual, but I hope what they’ve captured is as good as I think.”

Lucy’s hand was trembling as she drew the photos out and arranged them in a row on the kitchen table. Moira immediately zeroed in on the photo of Jill.

“Wow! You captured Jill perfectly. I’ve never seen her softer or more timeless.”

“Whew, that’s a relief,” Lucy said, a smile dancing on her lips like she couldn’t quite sustain it.

Moira peered closer, studying the remaining two. “The one of Old Man Jenkins almost breaks your heart, doesn’t it? It should be funny, right? A ninety-year-old guy is sitting with nothing but an American flag in his lap. But there’s wisdom and power here. You want to sit at his feet as he tells you how to navigate this thing called life.”

“Exactly!” Lucy said, and Moira heard excitement in her voice.